It seemed almost sudden that Lauren found herself in her driveway.
When This I Promise You had finally ended, Lauren headed back to the car and turned the radio off. She returned to the swing, and sat in silence for a while. Silence is what she wished she had stayed in to begin with. Silence didn't play sappy songs that forced you to think about men you didn't want to think about. Silence didn't make you have to focus on a freaking blade of grass just to keep your sanity. Silence didn't make to have to give up that tiny bit of freedom and relaxation she had felt before stopping at the park.
So here she was. Sitting in her car in the driveway, blankly staring at the looming house in front of her. It seemed so big to her at that moment. The same way it had seemed the night she had come over here after Jimmy had beaten her up. She could still remember standing at the door, terrified to go inside. She remembered it so well because she was having that same feeling now.
There were no lights on in the house, other than the few that were usually on unless deliberately turned off. The kitchen light was always kept on, lately because Justin got his 'midnight-munchies'. They had been forced to leave it on after that first night he had stayed over after Britney left to go on tour. He had come down to fix himself a snack, and in his groggy state he turned to head into the kitchen a little too soon, causing him to walk into the wall. How he had done that, she had no idea. He landed with a loud thud on the floor, landing butt-first. She had run downstairs to see what the noise had been, only to find him sitting there staring blankly at the wall. He seemed almost offended by it, as if the wall had pushed him down on purpose. The next morning, he had a small bump on his forehead from where it had made direct contact with the wall. Ever since then, they had kept the small light on above the stove.
The upstairs bathroom light was on as usual, casting a faint glow over the upper hallway. The light poured softly from the window above.
Other than that, the house was dark. She assumed that no one was home, and that Justin had actually gone to his own house for once.
Finally realizing that she couldn't spend the whole night sulking in her car, Lauren reached over and retrieved her purse from the passenger seat beside her before stepping out of the car.
She hadn't bothered to pull into the garage, so she made sure to lock the car. If someone was home, she didn't want to wake them by opening and closing the garage door.
Slowly, she strolled up the stone walk to the front door, gently kicking a stone in front of her every few steps. Justins nickname for her popped into her mind, and she smiled. Reaching over to pick up the small pebble she had been abusing, she looked at it as it sat in her hand. It was so tiny. Rolling it around in her palm, she smiled as it tickled her skin. She placed it in her pocket before continuing on to the door.
She hadn't locked the door when she had left to go to Janssyns, so she walked right in without having to bother searching for the right key. She had to many freaking keys, it was a wonder she ever found the right one. House keys to all the guys, Janssyn, her parents, grandparents, friends and even the agency weighed down her purse. She had thought about going through them all and placing them on different key chains, but hadn't actually done it yet.
Stepping inside, Lauren kicked off her shoes and placed her purse on the table inside the door.
It was dark, but the faint light spilling from the kitchen and upstairs bathroom cast enough glow for her to be able to move around without running into anything.
Taking a step forward to head for the stairs, something caught her eye. Down at her feet, she noticed a small paper, folded repeatedly, accompanied by a single rose. As her eyes focused to the dark of the house, Lauren could see a trail of rose petals leading off and away from the rose at her feet.
She bent over and picked up the paper and rose. Unfolding the page, her eyes strained to focus on the writing. Lauren reached an arm behind her, turning on the small light at the doorway. It wasn't much light, usually used when they would be coming home late, but it was enough to brighten the page in her hand.
Focusing her eyes again, Lauren stared at the paper. She had no idea what this was supposed to be. There were lines, little stick figures, and a giant X. The little figure in the upper left corner had her name above, and it was wearing a little dress. Smiling back at her, the little person had a pebble at her feet. The bottom right corner held the X. There was no further description to indicate what the X was for. There were solid lines, which Lauren recognized as the floor plan to the lower level of the house. There were also squiggly lines leading through every room, crossing over each other in a crazy manner. Dropping the page slightly to look at the trail of rose petals on the floor in front of her, Lauren assumed that the squiggly lines represented the petals.
Another stick figure caught her attention from its position in the upper right hand corner. This little person seemed to have no baring on the little map, other than to show its superiority. With the curly hair and wide smile, Lauren immediately assumed this little person to be Justin. A little wand waved from the tiny hand, with the words 'Ruler of the World' written above. Even as a stick figure, Justin was made superior. Lauren laughed as she knew immediately he must have been the one to draw the map. No one else would have been crazy enough to draw Justin as superior.
Waving her eyes from the map to the trail of petals, Laurens curiosity got the better of her, and she began to follow their lead. She had been rather depressed when she had walked in, her main goal being reaching the comfort of her bed. But if someone had gone to this much trouble, the least she could do was play along.
She stepped cautiously as she followed the trail, walking beside the petals to make sure she didn't crush them. A gentle aroma raised from the floor, the rose petals casting a lovely scent in their wake.
They led into the living room, circling the coffee table and exiting through the first door, the same way they had entered. Lauren giggled to herself at the stupidity of this game, but she continued on her path.
Trekking diagonally across the foyer to the far entrance to the kitchen, she was led into the dining room. Rose petals covered the dining room table, falling over the edges and into the chairs. The room was filled with their smell, and Lauren inhaled deeply.
She continued to follow the trail, which led across the kitchen and back out the other doorway, closest to the front of the house.
She occasionally glanced at the map in her hand, smiling at the little squiggles and smiling stick figures. This was seriously the cutest thing. She was going to have to keep it as a souvenir of Justins oddness. As if she would ever need a reminder.
The path led across the foyer again, crossing the trails that she had already followed, and led into the back yard.
The huge glass doors to the yard were open, with the warm night breeze gently nudging the petals nearest the door. The odd petal would flip over, but the wind wasn't strong enough to move them from their place on the trail.
Rasing her eyes to look outside, Lauren stopped in the middle of the foyer. Even from her place, she could see the glow from outside.
Outside, she noticed candles surrounding the pool, on the grass, around the hot tub and on the patio. Hundreds of candles, burning bright and glowing in the night. Several objects lay around the candles, but she couldn't make out what they were.
Stepping cautiously through the doors, Lauren was in awe of the sight that greeted her. It was beautiful. The entire yard was dotted with the glow of candles. For a few yards, the tiny lights flickered in the breeze. The yard seemed to resemble the sky above, with candles shining up at the stars that twinkled back down at them.
Focusing her attention on the objects scattered among the candles, Lauren knelt down beside the closest one. Picking it up in her hands, her lips parted in a tiny look of shock.
It was one of her pictures. One of the ones from her album. It was of her and JC from that first photo shoot together for Vogue. It was one of the professional shots that had appeared in the magazine, and when it issue had been released, Lauren had cut out the pictures to add to her album. Copies of the actual photographs were in her portfolio at the agency, but she wanted copies that she could keep with her.
It was a simple picture. No flashy clothing or exotic makeup. They just stood together, JC behind Lauren, with his arms wrapped around her waist. His head was dropped to hers, with his chin nestled in the crook of her neck. His eyes were raised to the camera, and a sly smile pressed his lips. Lauren had a full smile, her head tilted slightly away from JCs, her arms crossing over his.
As she stared at the picture, Lauren could remember clearly the way it had felt to have JCs arms around her that day. Even then, she had felt safe in his arms. They had only known each other a few hours, and even though she had no idea what would come of their friendship, she had felt safe with him.
Placing the framed photo back in its place on the ground, Lauren stood to look around her. She finally realized what all the objects were scattered between the candles. They were her pictures. Not just any pictures, however. They were pictures of her and JC.
As she strolled through the yard, glancing down at the images captured, she realized that they symbolized her friendship with JC. They were like a timeline, from when they had first met, to now.
There were pictures of the first time she had gone to one of their concerts. The first fashion show he had attended with her. The first time her family had met him, one of the pictures even showing the look on JCs face when her grandmother had pinched his ass.
Everything they had been through together was captured in these simple images. Staring back at her, they reminded her of everything they had. And sadly, everything she felt she had lost.
Reaching what appeared to be the final picture, she sat down on the grass and tucked her legs beneath her. She reached over and picked the frame from the ground, pulling it to her lap.
It was one of the pictures that had been taken that day of the barbecue. She stood with JC, their positioning the same as the first photo on her little tour, the one from the Vogue shoot, only this was a close up of their faces. They smiled back at the camera, their grin overly emphasized.
Lauren smiled when the memories from that day replayed in her mind. Justin and Chris fighting over a game of Go-Fish. Lance trying desperately to keep JC away from the grill. Lauren having to dump water on Justin and Chris to break up their fight.
As she mentally went through the day, she reached a significant memory. The memory of the chicken fight, after Lance and Chris calling it a tie. Lauren jumping into JCs arms like she had millions of times before, and having him return the embrace like he always had.
But the reaction to the embraced was all too different, and the memory was all too clear in her mind. How his body felt against hers. The feeling of his lips pressing into a smile against her neck. The way his arms held her so close that she felt like nothing would ever hurt her again.
The memory of the day she fell in love with him. Or at least the memory of the day when she realized that she had always been in love with him.
When she had actually fallen, or when she simply realized she had seemed unimportant. All she knew was that she felt something for him that she never thought possible. She didn't know that she could feel this strongly for one person, and that scared her even now. Because after all the overanalyzing, after all the debating on whether her feelings were real, the same things stood true.
She always had felt this way. And, in her mind, she always would feel this way.
And that's the part that really sucked. Because here she was feeling these feelings, and he was off hating her. Or at least not liking her very much right now.
She mentally scolded herself for being stupid enough to even entertain the idea of having something more with JC than the friendship she cherished already. He was a handsome, successful, wonderful man. Why the hell would he want to be with her? She was the kind of girl men like him were friends with. Not the kind of girl men like him fell in love with.
She continued to stare at the photo for a long while. Her slender fingers tracing the outline of his face, and over his lips. She stare so hard into his clear blue eyes that she felt herself lost in them. Even in a photograph, his eyes were hypnotizing.
Sighing quietly to herself, Lauren placed the framed photo back in its place. She returned her hands to her lap, folding them gently within each other as she continued to sit and stare at the picture.
No matter how hard she stared at it, it wasn't going to change anything that had happened. Time was not going to reverse to that day, giving her the chance to tell him everything she now wished she had. No matter how hard she hoped, it wasn't going to happen. But that didn't stop her from hoping anyway.
After what seemed like hours, Lauren broke herself away from the image. Rising to her feet, she gently dusted off her hands onto her jeans, and took a look around her.
She had completely forgotten everything else around her. She had forgotten about the candles. The pictures. The trail of petals throughout the house.
Returning her eyes to the photo, she finally thought something she hadn't yet.
Who had done all this? Why in the world would someone go to this much trouble?
She knew Justin had drawn the map, only because of his little 'Ruler of the World' figure dominating the page. But she couldn't see him doing all the rest. This was something personal, and thoughtful. Almost romantic. Justin was all of those things, but not directed to Lauren. It wasn't his place to do something like his for her.
She pondered the thought for a few moments, desperately trying to think of who would have done this.
Deep down, she hoped it would be JC. But after all the fights, hurt and angry words that had been thrown between them, she couldn't see it being him.
Even though they were close, this wasn't something he would do for her anymore than Justin would. They were friends, and nothing more.
A twinge of fear entered her, as Jimmy crossed her mind. Was this another one of his control attempts? Was he quietly waiting in the darkness for a good opportunity to grab her?
She couldn't see how in the world he would have gotten on the property again, let alone have the time, opportunity or patience to put together something like this. And if that were true, why would there be a map from Justin? That possibility just didn't make sense.
The nerves left her stomach slowly as she dismissed the possibility of Jimmys involvement in the spectacle around her. But it left her back at square one. Who did this?
She knew she wasn't going to figure it out standing outside, so she decided to head back in. The thought of blowing out all these candles made her head hurt, so she dismissed it for now. By the looks of it, they had been burning for a while before she stumbled upon them, so what was a few more hours? The grass was damp from the cool night air, so she wasn't too concerned. Chances were she wouldn't be able to sleep and would come down to blow them out in a little while anyway.
Pushing a strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes back behind her ear, she took one last look at the final photo. Giving it a weak smile, Lauren turned on her heels and headed back for the house.
She had only taken a few steps forward when her eyes widened at the sight in front of her, and she stopped dead in her tracks.
That was the last thing she had expected.
