He had never felt this way before.
Never in his life had he felt so intimidated by anyone.
He was always so comfortable with people. Even people he had never met, he somehow never felt as if they were any sort of threat to him.
But this person was very different. Although she was doing nothing to insinuate that she was any kind of threat to him, he still felt it. Just the fact that she was there terrified him.
He was afraid to look at her, in case one of the other guys saw in his eyes the fear he was feeling. Just by chance, they somehow saw why he was afraid, and why she was there.
But still, he was afraid to look away. The questions racing through his mind were still there, wondering why she was there, and what she wanted from him now.
He knew he was being too hard on her, but the fact that she had traveled across the country after him still made him uneasy.
"How are you, Justin?" she asked, her voice sending a chill down his spine.
Looking up at her, Justin tried his best to keep a normal look on his face. As long as he didn't make any indications that anything was wrong, there was no reason for suspicion. All he had to do was talk to her, find out why she was there, and move on. Again, it seemed to simple.
But he knew better than that. Nothing in his life had ever been that simple.
"Fine." he replied quickly. He noticed the nervous twinge in his voice, and cleared his throat. "I'm fine." he repeated in a more controlled tone.
Trystan smiled at him. The same smile she always seemed to adorn. She always seemed so relaxed, even though he was anything but.
Standing comfortably on the other side of the barrier, she tilted her head at him casually. Her hand rested on the edge of the steel wall between them, as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
To anyone else, she would appear as any other fan. Dressed in low hung jeans and a white t-shirt, she was stunning. Her shoulder length dark hair fell in waves, pushed back slightly on her head by a pair of sunglasses that she had pushed up. He had to admit that she was attractive. But he didn't see that side of her. All he saw when looking at her was what he had done.
"Good to hear." she said, her grin still in place.
The girl beside her moved closer, and Trystan looked over to her with a smile. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry." she said, raising a hand to place delicately on her chest. "I'm so bad." Giggling to herself, she extended a hand towards the girl. "Justin, this is my friend Madison." The girl looked over to Justin with a smile before extending her hand to him. Justin reluctantly accepted the gesture, before quickly turning his eyes back to Trystan. "Shes the friend I was visiting in Cleveland."
Justin nodded at her words, before giving Madison a polite grin. It wasn't like him to be rude, and he wasn't going to start now just because he was freaking out inside.
Looking back to Trystan, Justin leaned closer and lowered his voice. "What are you doing here?" he asked, the urgency clear in his tone.
Trystan grinned at his question, and Justin felt another chill run through his body. It wasn't her usual grin. This one held a sense of something that he just couldn't place. But he didn't like it.
"We wanted to see your last show." she said, shifting her weight again. "Maddys brother works here at the venue, and he was able to get us tickets to the show and passes for this sound check."
Justin was wary at her explanation.
As far as he knew, only contest winners were allowed admittance to this sound check. He knew that sometimes venue staff were able to get tickets to the shows, but this wasn't a concert. This was something more intimate, and Justin found it hard to believe that a venue worker would be able to get passes to this kind of setting.
In spite of his questioning, he nodded. He looked at her for a long while, waiting to hear more. Why she was there? What she wanted? Anything. Just something to know why she would travel all this way.
Sure, sometimes fans traveled across the country to see them, but this fan was different and she knew it. It was almost like she was trying to remind him in any way she could that she existed, and that she would always hold a place in his mind.
Trystan watched Justin just as closely as he was watching her, and even she was waiting for him to say something more. When he didn't speak, she grew nervous.
"What's wrong?" she said, tilting her head at him.
Justin lowered his head. What kind of question was that? What the fuck did she think was wrong? She was a girl he never expected, or wanted to see again, and yet she was turning up everywhere.
"Nothing, Trystan." he said, his eyes on the ground at his feet.
His tone was quick, almost harsh, and she reached across the barrier to place a hand on his shoulder.
Justin quickly pulled back, stepping away from her touch as if she had burned him.
Trystan seemed shocked at his reaction, slowly retrieving her hand.
"Are you okay?" she asked, a look of concern in her eyes. "I mean, you're acting strange."
How would she know? She had met him all of twice, and now she was acting as if she knew if he would be acting strangely? She didn't even know him!
"I'm fine." he repeated, his eyes still unable to meet hers.
"Justin, please." she said, her voice low. "You're worrying me."
He shook his head this time, unable to hold back the feelings inside of him.
She had to be set straight. It was one thing to see him once again after the night in New York. Once, he could forgive. But this time it was a little too much, and she had to be set straight.
Looking around, Justin realized that the fans were beginning to be ushered out of the venue. It was a slow process, but soon the arena would be empty, and the guys would be able to go back to the hotel to rest before the concert that night.
Stepping up closer to Trystan, Justin whispered. "Listen, we need to talk."
Trystan smiled at him, her hands once again resting on the edge of the barrier. "Okay." she replied happily. "Do you want me to come to the hotel?"
"No," he replied quickly. "No." Looking around again, Justin took note of where security was standing, and where the other guys were. "Listen, everyone is leaving now. I want you to go to the backstage entrance near section 124. When everyone is gone, I will come get you. Okay?"
Trystan seemed a little wary of how secretive he was being, but she wasn't about to deny his request. "Of course."
Justin nodded, before taking a step back. She nodded to him, before waving and turning to leave. Madison waved as well, before following Trystans lead.
He watched the two walk away, and didn't miss the look of excitement on Trystans face as she quickly headed towards the stairs that would take her to their meeting place.
Looking back at the slowly emptying arena, Justin sighed.
He knew he was probably making a mistake, but he felt the need to set her straight. He couldn't have her showing up everywhere he went, and more importantly, couldn't chance Erin seeing her.
Joey stepped up beside Justin, smiling as he wrapped an arm over his shoulder. "You ready to go back to the hotel?"
Turning to give Trystan one last look, Justin nodded. "More than ever."
The silence was deafening as Justin quickly made his way towards the backstage entrance near section 124. The only sound he heard was the soft echoing of his footsteps as he moved through the hall.
He had followed the guys towards the vans after the venue had cleared out. Just as he was able to get in the van, he told them he had forgotten something back in his dressing room and would catch a ride back to the hotel with Claire later. Claire and Karen, the guys stylist, always stayed on after sound check to make any adjustments or alterations that needed to be made, so his excuse was perfect.
After escorting Justin to the wardrobe room and checking with Claire that Justin would in fact be able to get a ride back with her, Lonnie returned to the vans.
Justin stayed on with Claire and Karen for a short while, before leaving to find Trystan.
The dressing room was only a short distance from the entrance that they were supposed to meet. The moment he found her, he would rush her to the dressing room and out of sight. The chances of anyone seeing them were slim.
Stepping up to the door, Justin breathed deeply.
He couldn't believe that he was still having to deal with his. He had thought after Cleveland that the entire mess would be behind him, and he would somehow be able to move on. But it seemed like fate had other plans.
Slowly, Justin pushed the huge door open and peered out carefully. Sticking his head out further, he noticed that no one was there.
Stepping out, he looked above the door. 124. Yup, he was at the right entrance.
"Hey!" a voice called out, causing Justin to jump.
Looking over, his heart beat began to increase.
"Hey." he greeted as she jogged up to him.
"Sorry, but I had to walk Maddy back to the car. Shes going to wait for me there." Trystan said as she joined his side. Pushing her purse further up on her arm, she smiled happily at Justin.
She always smiled.
Looking around to make sure that no one saw them, Justin opened the door for her. "Come on."
Ushering her through, Justin quickly guided her towards the dressing room.
It was a short distance, but it seemed like a mile long to him at that moment. At any time, someone could come around the corner and find them.
His long legs reached out far, increasing his speed as Trystan struggled to keep up.
Reaching the door, Justin opened it and allowed Trystan to enter.
"Hey, J!" a voice called out.
Justin pushed Trystan the rest of the way inside, before closing the door quickly and turning towards the voice.
Sighing, Justin forced a smile on his face. "Hey, Claire."
"You ready to go yet?" she asked, noticing his tense stance.
"Um, almost." he stuttered.
Claire narrowed her eyes at him, and thought of questioning his odd behavior.
She, too, had noticed the difference in Justin after the show in New York, and was just as worried as everyone else. But over the last couple of weeks, he had seemed to be back to normal. Now, again, this nervous energy surrounded him.
"You okay?" she asked, taking another step towards him.
"Yeah. Fine. Great." he stammered stupidly. He wanted to smack himself in the head for being so obvious, but he wasn't exactly thinking clearly at the moment.
Claire pursed her lips at him, before nodding. "Okay. Well, hurry up. I want to get back and take a shower before tonight."
"Okay. Sure. No problem."
Grinning at him, she turned to leave. "Ill be waiting in the wardrobe room."
"Okay. Sure. No problem."
Justin closed his eyes painfully at himself.
Dumbass, party of one.
Justin waited for Claire to disappear around the corner and out of sight before turning to quickly enter the dressing room.
Turning, he found Trystan sitting on the couch on the far side of the room. As he entered, she stood to approach him.
"What was that?" she laughed.
"Nothing." he said. "I just had some business to take care of."
Trystan nodded before stopping a few feet from him. Sliding her hands in her pockets, she began to rock back and forth on her heels.
"So," she said, dragging out the word. "What did you want to talk to me about."
Justin knew that this was going to be a hard conversation. He hardly knew this girl, and now he was going to have to tell her to stay away from him. He felt bad, but also, he knew it was necessary.
Extending a hand towards the couch, motioned for her to sit. Sitting on the opposite end of the couch, Justin leaned his elbows on his knees and sighed.
"Trystan," he said, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands. "What are you doing here?"
Trystan leaned back slightly, a look of confusion on her face. "I told you. We wanted to see your last show, and Maddys brother got us tickets."
Justin turned to give her a look. "Really." he said.
"Yes, really." she defended. Folding her hands in her lap, she looked him over. "What's wrong?"
Justin sighed loudly. "You cant keep doing this." he stated firmly.
"I cant keep doing what?" she asked, leaning back further.
"Showing up like this." he said as he turned to face her. "Calling me in Cleveland. Asking me to meet with you."
Trystan interrupted him quickly. "I wanted to make sure you were okay." she said sharply. "You were so upset that morning after we slept together," she noticed Justins body tense at her words, but she continued. "And I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
"I appreciate that, but it wasn't necessary." he said, his voice softer.
"Well, I'm sorry." she replied, looking down at her hands. "I just," Trystan sighed, as if fighting with the words in her mind. "I just wanted to see you again."
Justin closed his eyes, before turning his head back to the floor. "Why?"
"Because," she spoke up loudly. "Like it or not Justin, we slept together. I know it wasn't something you had planned, but it happened."
Justin looked up to her quickly, startled by her forceful words.
He was even more shocked at the look he found on her face.
No longer was her confidence smile intact. In its place, was a look of anger and persistence.
"I know it happened. That's the problem." Justin said, making sure to keep his voice calm.
"Why?" she said, anger still flickering in her blue eyes. "Why is it such a huge problem?"
Justin couldn't help the look of shock from coming to his face at her question. "Because I have a girlfriend, that's why. Because it was something that never should have happened, and its something that Ive been fighting to forget for the last month."
Justin didn't miss the look of hurt in her eyes at his confession, but it was gone just as quickly as it appeared. Still, her eyes were angry.
"What happened that night was a mistake. A mistake that Ive been trying to move past." Justin stopped to run his hands through his hair uncomfortably. "But I cant forget it if you keep reminding me of it." Turning to look at her, he frowned. "You cant keep showing up like this."
"So what are you saying, Justin?" she asked, her hands clenching tightly together in her lap.
Justin paused before finishing the point of their conversation.
"I'm saying that I don't want to see you anymore."
At first, he wasn't sure if she had heard him. She made no move in her body language, and her eyes were still fixated on him as if he hadn't said anything at all.
Slowly, he noticed her jaw begin to clench. It wasn't very noticeable, but he did it enough himself when he was angry to know when someone else was doing it.
Trystan lowered her head, her breathing deepening.
"So," she said quietly. "That's it?"
Justin nodded, but didn't respond.
Trystans eyes moved around the room, refusing to settle on him as she gathered her composure.
Swallowing hard, she reached behind her and placed her purse in her lap before finally looking at him.
She didn't speak. She only stared at him for a long while. Her gaze was unsettling to him, and he felt the urge to say something.
"I'm sorry." he said gently. "This is just how it has to be."
Again, she appeared not to have heard him, but he knew that she had.
Swallowing hard again, Trystan began to twist her purse in her hands. After a long silence, she nodded. "Fine." she said quietly.
Slowly, she raised up from the couch, swinging her purse over her shoulder. Justin stood with her, his hands sliding uncomfortably in his pockets.
He watched her as she looked around the room nervously. For the first time since he had met her that morning, she appeared nervous. It was as if she was trying to think of any excuse not to leave.
Sighing loudly, Trystan turned and headed towards the door. Justin followed quickly, making sure to reach the doorway first. Pulling it open, he looked out to make sure that no one was standing nearby.
Thankfully, the hall was empty.
Trystan exited the room quickly, turning to give Justin another look.
"I'm sorry." he repeated, a small shrug in his shoulders.
Trystan pursed her lips, nodding at him. Watching him a moment longer, she adjusted the strap on her shoulder before speaking. "Goodbye, Justin." she said quietly.
Trying his best to give her a reassuring smile, Justin nodded. "Goodbye, Trystan."
With that, Trystan turned and quickly walked towards the exit. Justin watched her as she walked faster, reaching the doorway, she pulled it open quickly and disappeared.
Justin lowered his eyes to the floor, sighing loudly.
He had done it. It had hurt him to know that he caused her the pain he saw in her eyes, and also unnerved him to see the anger radiating from the usually calm and confident girl.
But he had to do it, and it was done. Things would be better now, and he would finally be able to relax, knowing that he wouldn't have to deal with anymore unexpected appearances from Trystan Michaels.
"J?" Claires voice called to him from down the hall. "You ready?"
Justin nodded before returning to the room. Grabbing his jacket, he emerged in the hallway and joined Claire.
Following her to her car, Justin sighed again.
"Wow," Claire said with a smile. "That was a sigh of relief if Ive ever heard one."
Justin smiled at her as he wrapped an arm over her shoulders. "You bet it was."
