Justins leg bounced nervously on the floor, his entire body gyrating at the impact. His eyes were lowered to the flowers in his hands, as he picked at a single petal on one.
He had sat on the floor of the hospital corridor for a while. His mind racing with blame and fear at the fact that Madison was there because of him. It was his fault, in his mind anyway, and no one would be able to convince him otherwise.
If he had just left her out of this, dealt with it on his own, then none of this would have happened.
Hell, if he had just stayed at the hotel that night in New York, then none of this would have happened.
He had thought about that fact more times than anything else. If he had just not gone out that night, then he wouldn't have gotten drunk. If he hadn't gotten drunk, then he wouldn't have met Trystan. If he didn't meet Trystan, then he wouldn't have brought her back to his hotel room. And if he hadn't brought her back to his hotel room, than he wouldn't have made the biggest mistake of his life.
What bothered him most, or at least bothered him most lately, was the fact that his mistake was impacting everyone around him.
Madison was in the hospital because of his mistake.
Erin would have to change her phone number because of his mistake.
He felt the need to keep an eye on his family and friends, because of his mistake.
If anything happened to his mother, or to Erin, or to Landon because of his mistake, he knew he would die. No doubt about it, he would just die.
After sitting on the floor for a long while, Justin had to move. He had to get up and walk around.
Pushing himself up from the floor, he looked into the room quickly. Eden still sat at Maddys bedside, the two talking quietly. Breaking his eyes from them, he turned and made his way down the hall.
He wandered the halls for a while, his hands in his pockets. His eyes focused on the ground at his feet, rather than anything around him. His thoughts were too busy for him to actually take in anything he saw, and it didn't really matter. He just had to move.
Raising his eyes, he found himself at the gift shop. The only place that he actually liked in hospitals.
Stepping inside, he was immediately met with the sweet smell of various candles at his side.
Stuffed animals lined the far walls, with balloons, cards and various other items scattered around the large room.
Making his way around the shop, he glanced at several items. There were baby outfits, for the newborns in the maternity ward. There were stuffed animals with band aids in their heads, for the children in the pediatric ward. All the usual things you would find in a hospital gift shop.
Making his way to a small table in the corner, Justin noticed a rack of angels. Each angel was a charm, meaning something different. There were angels for babies. Angels for breast cancer. Angels for everything.
Turning the rack, his eyes scanned the angels mindlessly. Suddenly one caught his eye. Justin grinned as he reached out and removed it from its hook and brought it closer to his face.
A little swimmer angel.
Justin smiled, before glancing over to the stuffed animals. Holding the angel in his hand, he looked through the plush toys, reaching out and running a hand over the soft texture. Picking up a small teddy bear, he smiled.
It was small. Probably only five or six inches high. A little band aid on his head, a cast on his leg. It was the cutest thing Justin had ever seen.
Putting the bear under his arm, Justin made his way to the cashier.
He knew he didn't have to buy Madison anything, but he felt that it was the least he could do. Just something to show her that he truly was sorry for bringing her into this, in case his words didn't come out right.
Grabbing a simple bouquet of flowers at the cashier, Justin paid for the items and slowly made his way back to Maddys room.
Looking back in, he saw that the girls were still talking, completely unaware of him watching them.
He noticed that Maddy seemed to look a lot better in the time he had been gone. She was a little more alert, her skin warmer than moments before. Her eyes were still tired, her body obviously weak, but she wasn't as bad as when he had first looked inside.
Stepping back, Justin sat in a chair outside the door and waited for Eden to come out.
Justin played with the little items he had bought as he waited, his mind making its way back to that feeling of blame. Sighing loudly, Justin shook his head at himself.
Why did he have to keep fucking up? Every time he tried to make this better, he only succeeded in making it a million times worse.
First, he lied to Erin and kept the truth from her. Then, he tried to be nice to Trystan in the hopes it would prompt her to believe that he was alright, and she didn't need to worry. Then, he told her the truth, asking her to leave him alone. Next, he was stupid enough to actually go over to her house, this only turning the situation worse.
Now, he had brought her best friend into it, ending in placing her in the hospital.
He had always thought of himself as lucky. He had never experienced any real loss or dilemma in his life, and never really thought he would.
Well, he was now. He sure as fucking hell was having the shit kicked out of him in the dilemma department.
No matter what choice he made, it seemed to be the wrong one.
Suddenly, the door to Maddys room opened, and Eden stepped out. Justins eyes rose to her immediately, and he tried to offer a warm smile. It wasn't too convincing, but at least he tried.
Eden closed the door gently behind her as she stepped up to Justin. Sitting next to him, she smiled at the flowers, teddy bear and charm in his hands.
"That was sweet of you," she said, reaching out to pick up the bear. "She's going to love it."
"Thanks," he said nervously, clearing his throat. "I just felt like I had to do something."
Eden nodded, before handing the bear back to Justin. "I told her you were here." she said, her eyes locking on his. "She didn't say how she knew you, but you sure got a reaction out of her. When I said that a guy named Justin was waiting outside, and she looked up to find you at the window, her hand squeezed mine so tight she almost stopped the blood from reaching my fingers." she smiled.
Justin grinned, although he knew that the reaction wasn't meant in the way that Eden was taking it. He wondered if Eden had even recognized him yet. If she had, she hadn't let on.
"She's waiting for you." she said, giving him an encouraging look.
Nodding, Justin pushed himself up and out of his seat, crossing the hall to the door. His eyes locking on the doorknob, he slowly reached out and turned it, entering the room with a strange caution.
Keeping his eyes on the floor as he entered, Justin closed the door behind him.
Finally, standing at the door, the flowers, bear and charm in his hands, Justin allowed his eyes to raise to her.
She was smiling at him sweetly, her eyes tired.
"Hey," she said, her voice obviously strained.
"Hi," he returned as he approached her bedside. Sitting in the seat Eden had been sitting in, Justin placed the items at her side.
"Oh, you didn't have to do that." she said, reaching out to pick up the flowers. Bringing them to her face, she smelled them before laying them across her stomach. Bringing the bear and charm to her face, she smiled. "They're beautiful." she said, sliding a finger along the swimmer angel. "Really, Justin, you shouldn't have done this."
"I know," he nodded, his grin nervous. "But I felt like I should, you know?"
"Why?"
"Because," he said, in such a tone as if to imply that she should know why he would feel the need to do this. "Its my fault you're in here." Justins eyes lowered, his voice cracking with emotion as he spoke. Tears were brimming in his eyes, but he didn't let them fall. He didn't want to lose his control in front of her. He had to be strong for her.
Her eyes narrowed, almost as if she couldn't believe he had just said that.
"Justin, no." she immediately said, her voice stronger than he had expected. "This is not your fault at all."
"Yes it is," he contradicted. "If I hadn't contacted you, then none of this would have happened. Trystan wouldn't have done this, if I hadn't brought you into this mess."
Madison shook her head. "Its not your fault. I knew the chances I was taking when I agreed to help you. It was my decision to do so, and you had no way of knowing that she would do this."
Looking up at Madison, Justin almost didn't want to ask his question.
"So," he said, his voice cracking. "So, it was her?"
Madisons eyes darkened, as they fell to the bear in her hands. Pulling gently on his arms, she bounced his back and forth across her stomach. "Yes." she said quietly.
Justins heart sped up, before returning to a normal beat.
"What happened?" he asked just as quietly.
Looking up to the window, Madison made sure that no one was around to hear what they were about to discuss. Turning her eyes back to Justin, she began.
"After you left, I immediately called Trystan in New York. I half hoped for her to be there, and for you to be mistaken. But she wasn't. I got her answering machine. So, I called her cell phone. I didn't want her to answer, you know?" Looking up at Justin, she paused, a nervous smile on her face. Looking back to the bear, she continued. "But she did. It was strange the way she answered, though. Like she knew it was going to be me. Just the tone in her voice. So, I just chatted with her for a little while, saying that I hadn't heard from her in so long that I thought I would call and see what was up. I said how I called her place in New York and there was no answer, so I asked her where she was."
When Maddy paused, Justin leaned forward, resting his arms on the edge of the bed. "What did she say?"
"She said she was in Orlando." she replied. "I was shocked that she actually admitted being there, you know? I almost expected her to say that she was just out. Shopping or whatever. But no. She said she was in Orlando. When I asked her why, she just said because she was taking care of some business. I asked her what kind of business, and she said that she was just working on getting something she wanted. Something that was hers."
Justins heart beat sped up again at the words.
"I asked her what she meant, and she said nothing. I tried to press the subject without being too obvious, but she wasn't having any of that. She just changed the subject to ask me how school was. We talked for a little while, until she said something strange."
Justins eyes locked on Madison as she lay in the bed. Her eyes were focused on the bear in front of her, as if it was protecting her from what she was having to say.
"She said that she thought you and I looked cute together." Maddy said, her eyes finding their way to Justin. "I asked her what she meant, and she said at the meet and greet she thought we looked cute together. But I knew that wasn't what she meant. It was the way she said the words and made me know otherwise."
Justins eyes fell to the edge of the bed, shaking his head at what she was saying.
"We talked for a minute, before she said she had to go. I tried to keep her on the phone, but she rushed me off. Then she said something else strange." Sighing, Maddys lip shook. "She said she was sorry she had to do this, but that she had to let me go. Again, it wasn't what she said so much as how she said it. Hanging up, I just couldn't sort through what she had said. She had sounded pretty normal, except for a few odd comments here and there. I was so stressed out that I had to get out. I decided to go to the pool, since its the only thing that really helps me relax. When I got there, it was really quiet. Kind of odd, since there is usually always someone there. But I didn't think anything of it." Maddy paused, a slight laugh escaping her lips. "You know what's funny?" she asked, not really expecting Justin to answer. "Humans are the only animals that ignore their instincts. I had a bad feeling that night, but I ignored it. I just said it was because of what was happening with you, and that it was nothing else. I had nothing to worry about. She was in Orlando, and I was safe." She took a deep breath, her intake shaky. "So, I jumped in and swam around a bit. Just doing laps and stuff. Trying to work off some stress and energy. I was only in there for about twenty minutes or so. When I finally got out, I walked over to where I had left my towel. But it was gone. I looked around, but I didn't see anyone. I called out, but no one answered. I stood there for a minute, but finally shrugged it off. Maybe I had left it in the change room and forgot. So I began to walk to the change room, but when I got to the corner of the pool, somehow, I slipped. I don't know why, but there was a puddle of water at the corner. I know I didn't do it, because I wasn't over there. And it hadn't been there when I got there, either. I fell in the water, and when I resurfaced, I suddenly blacked out." Maddy was shaking now, her voice matching the quivering of her body. Justin reached out and placed his hand on hers, her eyes finding his. "I know I didn't hit my head on the wall. I wasn't that close. Someone hit me. I know it. And I know without a doubt that it was Trystan."
Justin couldn't get the images out of his mind. The slide show of pictures played as Maddy told her story of that night. Justin felt a mixture of fear and anger as he pictured Trystan standing at the pool side, watching Maddy. Then, somehow caused Maddy to fall in, and actually hit her over the head. The fact that she would do that to her own friend terrified Justin more than he could express.
Squeezing Justin's hand, Madison brought her attention to him. "Justin, please." she said, urgency in her voice. "Whatever you do, stay away from her. If she contacts you, don't see her. If she calls, don't answer. No matter what, you have to stay away from her. I may have ignored my instincts last night, but I'm not going to now. I have a feeling that she is going to come after you. After you and Erin, and I don't know what she will do. But I think she's getting desperate, and when she feels that way, she is capable of anything."
Looking at Madison lying in the hospital bed, Justin knew just how true that was. If she was desperate enough to do this to her friend, Lord only knows what she would do to him or Erin.
"Promise me, Justin," she said, her eyes matching the pleading in her voice. "Promise me that you will stay away from her."
Justin could hear his heart beating in his ears, his pulse racing.
He wasn't going to let that happen. He wasn't going to let Trystan come after him, or Erin. He would do anything to keep her away. Anything.
Looking at Madison, he nodded his head.
"I promise," he agreed, his voice quiet. "I promise I will do whatever it takes to stop her."
