He couldn't quite define the feeling in his stomach as the plane began to take off. It was a strange mixture at the moment. He had come here with one specific purpose. A purpose he fulfilled more than he thought he would have. But also, things in his plan had gone terribly wrong, and an innocent person had been hurt in the process.
He felt more confident in his knowledge of Trystan Michaels now. In this short visit to Cleveland, he had learned more about her than he thought he would have, and he knew now what he was up against when it came to her.
He felt fear. Fear for the knowledge he now had, because his situation was even worse than he thought it could have been. She wasn't just stalking him, as some overzealous fans sometimes chose to do. This girl had the capabilities and the thought process to take things to a much deeper level and actually go out and harm people to get what she wanted. This made the information given to him a double edged sword, because yes, he wanted to know, but now that he did know, he wasn't sure he liked what he knew.
He also felt regret. Regret for ever coming to this place, and involving an innocent girl in his horrible fucked up life. She had nothing to do with the situation he found himself in. It wasn't her fault that he got drunk that night. It wasn't her fault that he had slept with Trystan. And it wasn't her fault that Trystan had taken her new found connection to him to such an extreme. But yet, she was the one sitting in a hospital bed, with the knowledge that he had put her there. If she hadn't met him; hadn't agreed to help him, none of that would have happened to her.
He felt unsure as to how he should go about protecting the ones he loved from this new intrusion in their lives. Trystan wasn't above going out and harming someone Justin loved, just to get his attention or get closer to him. And there was no way he was going to let that happen. So this posed an all new problem to him. How does he protect his family and friends, without them knowing he is trying to protect them? He couldn't very well tell them why, because then the questions would be ask of why this girl was so obsessed with him to begin with. Then, answers would be needed, and he wasn't ready to deal with that yet. He still wasn't ready to face what he did even to himself, and he certainly wasn't ready to have to tell anyone yet. If ever.
He felt nervous of what to expect from her next. With the drastic way he left things with her last time he saw her, he had to wonder what she was thinking now. At first, it was an obsession. She was angry with him for leaving her the way he did in New York, and he had been pretty nice about it, if he did say so himself. Now, however, he had yelled at her, threatened her, and pinned her against a wall. This was a lot more dramatic than their previous situation, and chances were that Trystan had not thought highly of his tone or action towards her in such a manner. He had no doubt in his mind that his threat had had no effect on her other than to enrage her more, and make her more determined to make him pay for whatever it was she felt he did to her.
That was probably what was bothering him the most. The unknown. He didn't know what she was thinking, or what she was planning next. But chances were, he had not seen or heard the last of her, and she would be doing a lot worse than calling or leaving a photo in his car.
As the plane rose higher in the sky on route back to Orlando, Justin leaned his seat back and closed his eyes. It was a quiet flight, not many people. There were only four other people, other than himself, in the first class area. Pulling his hat over his face, Justin blocked out the lights around him and tried to relax his cluttered mind.
He had stayed at the hospital with Madison until he had to go to the airport. He didn't want to leave her, and felt more responsible with each moment he spent with her. He knew that it was his fault she was there. It was his fault that she had been hurt.
Of course, Madison told him repeatedly that it wasn't his fault. He had no way of knowing that Trystan had followed him, or that she would even have suspected that he would come and see Madison. Justin nodded his head at her words, but never truly believed them. In his mind, this was completely, one hundred percent, his fault. No amount of kind words from anyone would be able to convince him otherwise.
They had talked for hours about anything and everything. They had kept the conversation away from Trystan and the whole situation after Madisons warning to keep Justin away from her. Neither of them wanted to talk about it anymore, anyway. It was bad enough that they were in the situation to begin with, having to talk about nothing else would only make things even more unbearable.
Justin asked about her childhood, her family, her life. His entire existence was pretty much an open book due to his career, so there wasn't much he could offer her for information into his life. Everyone knew where he grew up, about his family and about his life. So he basically just asked about her. He wanted to know more about her, and not just because he felt the need to know now that she had been hurt because of him. He truly wanted to know. It had been way too long since he had been able to sit and talk to someone and have them treat him like a regular person. Madison didn't look at him like most people did. The whole 'NSync' thing disappeared the moment they were thrust into the situation they were in. That didn't matter anymore, and the glitz and glamour seemed pointless against the trials of real life. So instead they talked about her dog Freckles, her little sister Lena and her classes at school. Justin found it more refreshing than he ever thought it would be. Being able to escape into her life for a short time was just what he needed at the moment. To forget his own problems and life, and be able to fall into hers as she told stories of her childhood. Like reading a good book, you fell into their world. And Justin fell into hers.
The time for him to leave for the airport came way too soon, and he found it hard to leave her. He didn't like the idea of leaving her there alone and unprotected, but she assured him that she would be fine. She was convinced that Trystan had made her point, and that she was no longer in danger. After much pleading from Madison, Justin left. He promised to keep in touch with her, and no matter what happened with Trystan he wanted Madison to know just how much he appreciated everything she had done for him, and that whether she wanted it or not, she had a friend in him for life.
Eden drove Justin to the airport, and before he knew it, he was on a plane back home.
Turning his head to the window, Justin sighed deeply as he lost himself in his thoughts.
More than ever, he felt a need to protect Erin. Madison has stressed most importantly that Trystan saw Erin as a threat and a wall between herself and Justin. And that Trystan had no problem in doing whatever it took to break that wall down. He was certainly not going to let anything happen to Erin, and knew now more than ever that he needed to keep her close.
He had already convinced her to change her phone number, which would hopefully stop the calls from Trystan. But she was resourceful, and he knew that a simple thing like that wouldn't be enough to stop her from what she was going to do.
He wondered if his family was vulnerable at all. He knew that everyone knew his mother, considering she was such a large fixture in his life. But for some reason he couldn't see Trystan turning her anger or attention to his family. He couldn't quite explain why, but it didn't make sense for her to go after them. They really had nothing to do with this. And where Erin really had nothing to do with it ether, she was with him romantically, which was something Trystan would not take to well.
Erin was the one he was worried about. She was the one he needed to protect the most. But he didn't quite know how to go about doing that, without arousing any suspicion.
After what seemed like only a few moments, Justin felt the plane begin to land. Raising his head from the back of his seat, he pushed his hat up from his face and looked at his watched. 7:46pm. He must have fallen asleep, because he was sure that it was only six o'clock a few minutes ago.
After debarking the plane, Justin quickly made his way to the front of the airport, and flagged down a cab. Climbing in, Justin directed the driver to his address as he leaned back in his seat.
The window at his left was open, the warm evening air blowing in towards him. Taking a deep breath, Justin closed his eyes.
Forty-eight hours ago, he thought things couldn't get worse. Now, he knew more about this girl than he was sure he wanted to know, and the one person who had agreed to help him was in the hospital because of it.
Yup. It was official. His life was shit.
Just goes to show that whenever you think that life cant get any worse, it does whatever it takes to prove you wrong.
The drive to his home felt longer than he thought it would have. His mind had been racing on the plane, making the trip seem a lot shorter. But now, his mind was tired, focusing only on the thought of Erin and the warmth of his own bed. Those two things made him yearn for both, making the drive seem like an eternity.
Finally pulling up outside his house, Justin handed the driver a fifty and climbed out of the cab. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he made his way through the gates and towards the house.
He took his time as he walked up his driveway. The warm night air was comforting around him, a light breeze tickling his skin. Above him, thousands of stars lit the sky, as the moon was left glowing to his right.
Stepping up to his door, Justin pulled out his keys from his pocket and searched for the correct one. One of these days he was going to go through all the damn keys on his key chain, but that day wasn't today.
Finally finding the right one, he slid it in the lock and entered the confines of his home. Immediately, he felt himself relax.
The feeling of the air conditioning on his warm skin brought his senses alert. The smell of his own home was soothing. The familiar surroundings making him feel as if he had never left, and that none of what happened in Cleveland was a reality.
Of course, he knew that wasn't true, but it was nice to pretend sometimes.
Dropping his bag on the floor at his feet, Justin tossed his overloaded key chain on the table at his side as he shrugged off his jacket and tossed his hat on the floor with his bag. He suddenly felt very tired, and wasn't even in the mood to exert the energy it would take to carry his bag up the stairs.
Turning towards the living room, he smiled at the person he saw.
"Hey baby." Erin said as she exited the living room and approached him quickly. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she hugged him close. Justin slid his arms around her waist, pulling her to him. Burying his face in her neck, he breathed deeply, taking in the scent of her. The smell of her hair. The faint scent of her perfume. Just her.
Pulling back, Erin smiled at him. "So, how was the trip?"
Justin grinned at her, his tired eyes drooping. "Good." he said plainly.
Erin tilted her head at him. "Good?" she giggled. "Geez, you must be tired. You're usually rambling away when you get back from seeing your brothers. Long flight?"
"Yeah." he nodded. "Something like that."
Erin watched him for a while, her smile still in place, but Justin could tell she was trying to figure him out. She knew him too well, and whereas that was usually a good thing, it was also an occasional drawback. She knew when he was upset and trying to keep it to himself. She knew when he was up to something that he knew she wasn't going to approve of. And most importantly, she knew when he was lying.
He wasn't stupid enough to think that she hadn't noticed the change in his behavior from time to time since he had come home. For the most part, he had been able to act normal. Joke around with the guys, or just be himself. But he knew that he acted differently occasionally, usually whenever he would have a run in with Trystan, and he wondered how long it would be before Erin questioned him about it.
Looking into her eyes, Justin felt a sense of security he had been lacking over the last couple of days. Just the feeling of safety he got from her was amazing, and he wanted nothing more than to make her feel the same. For her to feel safe and secure whenever she was with him.
He wanted to protect her, and make sure that nothing ever hurt her. Now, that need was more intense than it had been in past years, and he would do whatever it took to keep the promise to himself. The promise to protect her at all costs. To protect her with his life.
Sighing quietly to himself, Justin smiled at her. "I love you, Erin." he said softly.
Erin grinned at him, her eyebrows merging. "I love you too." she said, a slight hint of confusion in her voice as to why he was acting rather odd. She couldn't quite place it, but there was something different about him.
He loved her more than anything in his life, and he would stop at nothing to keep her from Trystan. No matter what it took, he wasn't going to let her get involved in this. He had to keep her close to him, and keep her safe.
Before he had the chance to second guess himself, the words were leaving his lips.
"Move in with me." he said quietly.
Erins eyes widened slightly at his request, but just as quickly as the look of shock appeared, it was gone.
"What?" she asked, even though she had heard him perfectly.
"Move in with me." he repeated. "I want you near me, Erin. I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to fall asleep beside you every night. I want to know you are here with me every day. And I want you to be safe." Sighing softly, he brought his forehead to rest against hers. "I want to keep you safe." he said, his voice barely a whisper.
Erin didn't quite know what to make of this. They had talked about moving in together in the past, but it never turned into anything more than that. Just talking. She wasn't sure Justin was ready for that, and considering he was rarely home, she wasn't sure she was ready for it either. Having her own apartment was a connection to her own life, without him. When he was gone, it tore her apart, but she knew she had her own life without him. When he would leave, she could go home, go to work, and not think about him or the fact he was gone. Most importantly, she wouldn't have to think about how much she missed him.
But moving in with him would change all that. She would be living in his home, a constant reminder of him even when he wasn't there.
She loved him. That she was certain of. And she wanted nothing more than to be with him forever. But this was a big step, and she had to question whether either of them were ready for it.
"Justin," she said quietly. "Are you sure?"
Justin pulled back slightly, his eyes burning into hers.
"Yes." he said affirmatively. "There isn't a doubt in my mind that I want you here with me."
Looking into his eyes, Erin got the answer to every question she had.
He did want her there. This wasn't something he felt he had to do because it was something she wanted. It was something he wanted, and he was asking because he wanted it. Not because he felt pressured.
Smiling at him, she felt a touch of excitement grow inside her.
"Yes." she replied, her voice laced with elation.
Justin grinned at her, before pulling her to him. Kissing her deeply, he tightened his arms around her waist.
Yes, he wanted her to move in. Even if Trystan wasn't involved in his life, he had no doubt in his mind that he wanted Erin with him forever. This was something for them, not for Trystan.
The fact that it was easier for him to protect Erin if she was living with him was a bonus, and he wasn't going to let any other thought distract him from the fact that this was what he wanted.
He wanted her there. He wanted to protect her.
To him, this was a win / win situation.
