Dinner at Landons had been rather uneventful, much to Justins gratitude. After the few minutes of frantic stress he endured during and after the horrendous phone call with Trystan, he was looking forward to finding some sort of escape from his reality. The reality that he dealt with alone.
Erin arrived home just when Justin assumed she would. Shortly after five. By five thirty, they were ready and on their way to Landons.
When Landon said that his mother had been cooking up a storm, he wasn't lying. She had made enough food to feed a small army, and whenever Justin or anyone else would ask why, she would simply shrug, with a small smile pressed to her lips.
"I just felt like cooking." she would say, her sweet smile firmly in place.
It was relaxing for Justin to be there with them. They were like his second family, and if he couldn't be with his own mother at the moment, Landons was his second choice for sure.
After dinner, Justin helped clear the table. He offered to do the dishes, much to Landons mothers joy, but she immediately pushed him out of the kitchen.
"You boys go play." she scolded as she flicked a towel at his butt. "Ill take care of these."
Erin, of course, entered and demanded that she be allowed to help with the dishes. It was only fair, in her opinion.
Landons father made his way to the living room to watch television with Landons little brother, leaving Justin and Landon to do what they wished.
This, of course, being basketball.
The two made their way outside, and quickly engaged in a game of one on one.
They were notorious throughout their families for their competitive nature. They took their games very seriously most of the time, but tonight, it was just fun. They missed shots constantly, and ragged on each other as they always would. It was a form of therapy for both of them, and Justin felt himself lose all stress and thoughts of Trystan as he concentrated on kicking his friends ass.
After more than two hours, they were so tired, they couldn't even make their way back into the house. Instead, they fell to the ground a few feet from the basketball net, laying sprawled out in every direction on the soft grass beneath them.
Staring up at the stars, neither said a word for a long while.
But in the silence, returned the thoughts he had been surpressing, and Justin couldn't help the frown from coming to his face.
"What's up your ass?" Landon asked with a grin. "You look like someone stole your fro pick."
Giving Landon a dirty look from the corner of his eye, Justin smirked.
"Fuck off." he said playfully.
A short silence took them over, before it was yet again broken by Landon.
"Ugh!" Justin groaned, fighting back his laughter as he rolled away from his friend. "You are a sick, stinky bastard, you know that?"
Landon nodded affirmatively. "Yup." he said proudly.
Laughing, Justin gave Landon a few more dirty looks, before finding another comfortable spot a few feet farther away from Landon than when he started, and continued to stare up at the sky.
Landon lived on the outskirts of the city, as Justin did, this giving way from the lights of the city to the clear calm of the night sky. Millions of stars scattered the world above them, shining down as if they were trying to warm the earth themselves.
Justin didn't get many chances to do this, and he loved that he was able to now. Every city he went to had something amazing to offer, but nothing compared to the calm clarity that came with the unblocked night sky and silence.
A silence that was yet again interrupted by Landon.
"So, what's up?"
"What do you mean?" Justin asked as he pushed a hand beneath his head, his eyes locked on the sky above.
"You seem thoughtful. Like your thinking about something really important. And since I know that you very rarely think, I figured that something may be wrong."
Turning to glare at Landon, Justin couldn't decide on what comeback he felt like using. A few moments passed, as did Justins chance at actually using a comeback. The moment had passed, and if he said something now, he would just look stupid.
"Good comeback." Landon teased.
Justin only grinned, shaking his head slightly as he turned his back to the sky.
"Nothing is wrong, dude." he said softly.
"You sure?" Landon asked, turning to look at the sky along with Justin. "You just seem like something is wrong." A short silence broke his sentence, but it didn't last long. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I mean, I may rag on you a lot, and pick on you, and may be better than you at a lot of things, and may be sexier, a better basketball player, and all around just a hell of a lot cooler than you, but you can tell me when something is wrong."
Justin wasn't sure whether to laugh, or be touched by his friends words. He chose to laugh.
"Um, thanks." he said.
Justins eyes found a star above, shining somewhat brighter than those around it. It seemed to be trying to reach out to him, touch him and show him what to do.
He knew those thoughts were silly, but it was what he was thinking anyways. As if this tiny star was trying to guide him in a direction that would somehow take him where he needed to go. Where he needed to be to end the madness that he fought.
He wondered right then if he should tell Landon the truth. If anyone would stand by him, no matter what, it would be Landon. Yes, he would probably be very unhappy with Justin, probably yell at him, but in the end, he would support him and help him in any way he could. He would listen, and try to give Justin a perspective that maybe he hadn't thought of on his own. He always backed him up, no matter what stupid assed thing he was doing.
But in reality, what could he do to help? Yes, admitting his wrong doing would give him some kind of relief. A release of the pressure of holding on to this secret that had been eating away at him for all this time. But he was so used to holding on to it, it was almost impossible for him to speak. To actually open his mouth and allow the words to escape.
And how would someone actually go about starting such a conversation? 'Oh hey, dude, guess what? I fucked around on my girlfriend one night over three months ago, kept it a secret from her, and now the girl I fucked is stalking me and terrorizing me because she thinks she's in love with me. Whatcha think 'bout that?'
Justin rolled his eyes at himself just for thinking of that stupid monologue.
"I know, Justin." Landons voice broke the silence, and Justin turned to look at him confused.
"What?"
"I know." Landon repeated, turning his head to face Justin. "I know why you've been acting strange lately. I know why you've been tense, and distant, and nervous all the time."
Justins eyes immediately widened, his heart rate increasing rapidly. He felt his stomach tighten, and wondered if it was considered bad form to throw up the dinner Landons mother had just fed him?
He was pretty sure it was, so he kept his panic in check.
"What do you mean?" Justin asked, a nervous twinge in his voice.
"I know why you've been so freaky for the last little while. Everyone knows. Erin too."
Justin sat up, propping his body at an angle with his elbows.
Yup, he was going to throw up. It was hard to enjoy a meal after you've seen it in reverse, so he was going to have to rethink asking Landons mother to give him a doggie bag to take home later.
"Sh--she knows?" Justin stuttered, his elbows shaking, causing his body to vibrate slightly.
"Yeah. We all do. And we understand. It happens to everyone."
Justin couldn't stop the confused look from coming to his face, and he was sure he looked like a moron, but at the moment, he didn't much give a fuck.
Landon smiled at the stupid look on Justins face, and continued his explanation.
"Its understandable to be a little stressed after having your girlfriend move in. Its a big change, and even though you wanted her to, its a little awkward at first. You love her, and she loves you, and that's all that matters. You'll get used to this whole 'having to put the toilet seat down' thing soon enough, dude."
Justins face was still contorted into the stupid look he had moments before, even though Landons words were slowly sinking into his mind.
He didn't know. He didn't know about Trystan. No one did. Not Landon. Not the guys. Not Erin.
They thought he was stressed because of Erin moving in. That the move and new accommodations were causing the odd behavior from him. They had no idea that it hadn't effected him at all, and that a whole other, much more pressing problem was the cause of his distance.
Quickly composing himself, Justin laid back down.
"Yeah." he lied. "I know Ive been a little weird lately. Sorry, man. Its just a hard transition, I guess."
"No problem. Erin understands. She's still getting used to having to put up with you every day, and she is having to fight the urge not to put a pillow over your head at night when you snore. So she's going through it too."
Justin smiled.
After another hour of laying out on the cool grass, staring at the stars and talking about everything to do with nothing, Erin came out to retrieve Justin. She had to work the next day, and it was already passed eleven.
As Justin and Landon returned to the house, Justin had to smile at Landons mother, who was waiting at the door for him with a doggie bag.
"I know you well enough to know that you were going to ask for this anyway, so I made sure to pack up plenty of everything." she said as she handled the bag to Justin.
"Thank you mom." he said as he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek.
Saying their goodnights, Justin assured Landon that their basketball game was far from over, and that they would get together sometime later in the week to finish it off.
The drive home was quiet, the only sound filing the car was that coming from the radio, which was turned down to a faint background noise. Erins passenger window as open, and as the wind entered the car, it ruffled her long hair, strands crossing her face, which she continuously pushed back behind her ear.
Whenever he got the chance, Justin would look over at her from the corner of his eye. He didn't want her to see him watching her, since it always made her nervous, but he had an uncontrollable urge to just see her. To look at her, and cherish the calm around them at that moment.
He knew without a doubt that this situation with Trystan wasn't going to be going away any time soon, and that everything was surely coming to a head sooner than he would have wanted. He knew that soon enough he was going to have to face his mistakes. But he was hoping anyway that it wouldn't happen. That by some miracle things would work out without having to enter in anyone else.
Pulling into the driveway, Justin yawned.
Erin smiled. "Tired?"
"A little." Justin said, covering his mouth as he finished yawning. Moments later, another yawn overtook him.
Erin laughed slightly as Justin pulled the car up to the front of the garage. He didn't bother putting it inside, knowing full well that he would be using it the next day. Why bother?
Shutting off the engine, Justin and Erin climbed out of the car and headed towards the house.
Wrapping his arm around Erin's shoulders, Justin squeezed her tight. Playfully, he rubbed his hand roughly in her hair.
Giggling, she pushed away, squirming out of his grasp.
"Don't you start getting fresh with me, Timberlake." she warned playfully.
Justin stopped and turned to her. Smiling down at her seductively, he lowered his voice. "I was thinking more along the lines of getting dirty." he teased.
Erin smirked, rolling her eyes at him. "You would."
Justin matched her playful smile, before his eyes darted quickly back to the car. "Crap," he said.
"Oh, that's romantic. Way to sweet talk me, Justin." Erin said, her hands finding their way to her hips. The playful grin still pressing her lips.
"No," he corrected. "I forgot my leftovers in the car." Turning to Erin, he frowned, giving her his best puppy dog look.
"You're leg isn't broken. You can get it yourself." she said.
Justin immediately fell to the ground, grabbing his leg as if it were broken. "No, I cant. See. I'm all busted up." he whined, adding a few whimpers in for effect. "Puh-puh-puh-pleeeeeasseee?"
Erin had to laugh at the pathetic mass of a man at her feet. "Fine." she said with a huff. Holding out her hand, she waited for Justin to place the car keys in her grasp. "You are a pain in my ass, J."
"I love you." he said smiling.
"I hate you." she called from over her shoulder as she left him laying on the ground, making her way back to the car.
Hauling himself up from the ground, Justin dusted himself off as he stepped up to the front door. Pulling his key from his pocket, Justins eyes fixed on a small white object hanging from the door. The light was dim, the porch only lit by a small light to his upper right hand side, but he could see it was a note.
Pausing in the retrieval of his keys, Justin reached up and plucked the note from the door. Pulling it closer to his face, he noticed it was addressed to no one. It was folded over once, nothing scrawled on the front.
Opening it up, Justins squinted in effort to focus on the words.
Even with the dim lighting around him, he was able to read what it said. And he knew immediately, without doubt, who had left it.
'You're calling me, but you run to her. I cant take it anymore. I'm tired of your shit.'
