Some folks remain undecided about the big gambling vote on Tuesday in Broward and Miami-Dade counties.
It's real simple. If you enjoy sitting for hours plugging Vegas-style slot machines, vote yes.
If you think the recreational culture of South Florida will be enhanced by installing 20,000 slots at jai-alai frontons and race tracks, vote yes.
And if you don't really give a damn who gets all the money, vote yes.
But if you're one of those who actually believes that slots are going to produce 18,200 ''new, good, permanent jobs'' and pump a fortune into South Florida schools, proceed directly from the voting booth to your doctor's office.
Because you need a brain scan.
The pro-slots campaign is a spectacular deception, nothing less than you'd expect from the casino industry. It's what these guys do best, hawking false hope and illusion.
Nor is it surprising to see well-known politicians touting slot machines as a golden remedy to municipal budget woes and struggling schools. Their rosy outlook has been burnished by hefty campaign contributions from the parimutuels.
For me, it's not the gambling that's offensive; it's the mountainous lies and the breathless hype.
''Yes for Better Schools and Jobs'' is the apple-pie slogan of the slot-machine machine. Among those who've been snowed are the teachers unions in both Broward and Miami-Dade -- obviously the membership has been too busy with FCATs to review the fantastic but ultimately hollow promises of the old pro-Lottery campaign.
Who said we won't be fooled again? Slot promoters claim that virtually every machine will generate one new job, and that local schools will receive a windfall from the tax revenues.
Unfortunately, a few minor details are missing from Tuesday's ballot measure.
Such as how many slot machines will be allowed at each facility.
And how many hours a day they'll be open to the public.
And what percentage of the take will go to the state for taxes.
And, even more crucially, how that tax money will be distributed.
Legislature's role
Normally such questions are answered before the public is asked to vote, but this time they're trying it backward. The job of filling in all those blanks will fall to the Legislature, which in the recent past has been disinclined to favor South Florida schools when doling out the dough.
In fact, nothing would prevent lawmakers from collecting the slot-machine taxes from Broward and Miami-Dade and sprinkling them all over the state. What a sweet deal for the other 65 counties -- they'd get the dividends from gambling without the costs and headaches that come with trying to regulate it.
On the issue of precisely how much money the state will take, the track and fronton owners are lobbying for a dirt-cheap tax rate between 30 and 35 percent.
In New York they'd be paying 80 percent in taxes and administrative costs. In Rhode Island, the rate on slots is 60 percent. Close behind at 57 percent is West Virginia.
Yet if pro-gambling forces have their way in Tallahassee, Florida will end up with the country's lowest tax rate on legalized slots -- even lower than that of Louisiana, an embarrassing distinction indeed.
Even when heavily taxed, so-called ''racinos'' make truckloads of cash -- so much that the mere addition of slot machines instantly multiplies the resale value of the joint.
As for the major job boom forecasted by slots supporters, campaign ads promise 18,200 new positions with an average salary of $39,100. What the ads don't say is that the true average salary figure, minus benefits, is actually $8,000 less.
They also neglect to mention that the tracks and frontons will be hiring maybe 10,000 workers, and that many of those will be part-time. The remaining 8,200 future jobs are what supporters guess (and hope) would be added at nearby hotels and restaurants.
Those cheery employment predictions rely on the dicey assumption that the Legislature will allow the 24-hour operation of at least 2,500 slot machines at each of the seven gaming facilities -- and not tax them more than 34 percent. Talk about a bad bet.
Gov. Jeb Bush, who opposes legalized slots, is right when he says voters have no way of knowing what they're voting for on Tuesday. It's a complete mystery, and potentially a costly one.
The hundreds of millions of dollars that will drop into those slots would otherwise would be spent elsewhere, so other business owners will be hurt.
It's just a question of who, and how badly.
`The lucky suits'
As in all gambling debates, there's exaggeration and hypocrisy on both sides. It's nonsense to single out slot machines on moral grounds when so many other types of betting is legal here.
And while certain pitiable souls will always find some mindless way to blow their paychecks or pensions, most slots players aren't addicted. They just do it for fun.
But please don't try to sell us the idea that gambling is actually good for the fabric of the community. It's mainly good for the lucky suits who make the odds and pocket the bets.
And if that doesn't bother you, vote Yes on Tuesday.