Mr. McMahon is in the ring cutting one of his usual dramatic promos while the crowd boos.
THE GLASS BREAKS!
To everyone's surprise, WWE Hall of Famer "Stone Cold" Steve Austin walks down to the ring and he is holding a manila envelope.
AUSTIN: "Relax, Vince, I'm not here to cause trouble. In fact, I have good news. You know, I've won a lot of titles in my career. WWE World Champion. Intercontinental Champion. World Tag Team Champion. WCW United States Champion. WCW Television Champion. WCW Tag Team Champion. WWE Hall of Famer. But, there was one title I never had. I didn't talk about it much because in the back of my mind I wasn't proud that I was missing something. Now, I finally have a title I can never lose in the ring, the title I should have had a long time ago. (Opens the envelope.) You are now looking at Stone Cold Steve Austin, College Graduate!" (Austin takes out his diploma to the cheers of the crowd.)
MR. MCMAHON: "Well, congratulations. I didn't see this coming. Good for you."
Austin puts the diploma back in the envelope as Vince extends his hand for a handshake. Austin takes Vince's hand...and, yep, hits the Stunner.
AUSTIN: "OH HELL YEAH!"
Vince rolls out to the floor and the camera catches the smile on his face.
(Seriously, how else could I have ended this?)
The end.
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Back in the 1990s, I read the transcript of an online chat Austin had done where he mentioned that he got good grades in school but never graduated college. I've had this in my head for a while and figured I should just write it already.