The JWL [Episode 13]

Live from The Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, MD.

You know the drill.

Opening Match: Perry Saturn vs. Christopher Nowinski (w/Mr. Bob Backlund)

Lillian Garcia: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall."

("Pomp and Circumstance" plays)

Crowd boos.

LG: "Introducing first, being led to the ring by Mr. Bob Backlund and representing High Standards, from Watertown, MA, weighing in at 270 lbs., CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI!"

("The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: "His opponent, representing The Misfits, from Boston, MA, weighing in at 234 lbs., PERRY SATURN!"

The match starts, with the experienced veteran Saturn controlling his much younger opponent. Saturn works Nowinski over on the mat and gets some 2 counts. Nowinski fights back and some dropkicks and slams to take over. Nowinski hits a vertical suplex and drops an elbow for 2. Saturn unleashes some suplexes to retake control. Backlund is going nuts on the outside. Double-clothesline leads to the double-KO spot. Referee Brian Hebner begins to count both guys down, but Backlund pulls him out of the ring and decks him. Backlund revives Nowinski and goes to deck Saturn, but Saturn is up and decks Backlund. Saturn goes after Nowinski, but Nowinski low blows out of a suplex attempt. Nowinski hooks Saturn's arms and hits the Honor Roll (twisting double underhook suplex). Backlund revives Brian Hebner and throws him back into the ring. Hebner counts 1-2-3 at the 7:30 mark.

LG: "Here is your winner, CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI!"

Crowd boos.

Kurt Angle runs out and joins his High Standard stablemates in a beatdown on Saturn. Gangrel and Crowbar make the save and issue a challenge for a tag match on the next show. Angle and Nowinski accept.

We revisit Harley's Angels attacking Terri Runnels and Trish Stratus on the last show, complete with Thug's declaration of war on all the women of the JWL.

JR informs us that Jacqueline has accepted Harley's Angels' open challenge and will take on Thug tonight.

Jacqueline vs. Thug

LG: "The following women's contest is scheduled for one fall."

("Born to Be Wild" plays)

LG: "Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Harley's Angels members Charlie Davidson and E.Z. Rider, from Reynolds, GA, THUG!"

Crowd boos.

("Black Cat" by Janet Jackson plays)

LG: "And her opponent, representing American Badass Inc., from Dallas, TX, JACQUELINE!"

Crowd cheers.

The match starts, and both women go at it with impressive intensity. Punches and clotheslines are exchanged, with neither woman gaining an immediate advantage. Thug uses her size and power advantage to take control, and powerslams Jackie for 2. Jackie fights back and hits some dropkicks and a clothesline for 2. Thug comes back and sends Jackie to the floor, where Charlie and EZ double-team her. Jackie escapes and fights back, with JR referencing the time Jackie and Molly Holly lost a match to Harley's Angels for the chance to challenge Caged Heat for the WOW World Tag Team Titles. Referee Tim White gets fed up with Charlie and EZ and banishes them to the lockerroom. He checks on Jackie, who confirms that she is able to continue. Back in, Thug takes control again, and Jackie bumps bigtime for her. Jackie fights back, SLAMS THUG!, and goes for the Tornado DDT, but Thug blocks it and powers Jackie into the corner. Thug avalanches Jackie and chokeslams her. Thug then climbs up and hits the Last Call (Vader's Vader Bomb second-rope slingshot splash) for the pin at 9:55.

LG: "Here is your winner, THUG!"

Commercials

Back to the ring.

Handicap Match: The Yeti (w/"The Taskmaster" Kevin Sullivan) vs. Mark Jindrak and Sean O'Haire.

LG: "The following is a handicap match scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, first from Auburn, NY, weighing in at 253 lbs., MARK JINDRAK! His partner, from Hilton Head, SC, weighing in at 270 lbs., SEAN O'HAIRE!"

(The Dungeon of Doom's music plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: "And their opponent, being led to the ring by 'The Taskmaster' Kevin Sullivan and representing The Dungeon of Doom, from the wilds of the Himalayas, weighing in at 440 lbs., THE YETI!"

Before the match starts, we see Raven's Nest (Raven, Stevie Richards, Tori, the Dudley Boys and Rhino) walking through the crowd to their seats by the guardrail. Stevie sits down and pulls up a chair for Tori. Raven decks Stevie and sends him headfirst to the barrier. Tori then sits down next to Raven.

The match starts, and it is a complete slaughter. Yeti tosses them around with ease and hits the Yetibomb (two-handed chokebomb, aka A-Train's Derailer) on Jindrak and O'Haire in succession and pins them both at 1:35.

LG: "Here is your winner, THE YETI!"

Sullivan enters the ring and takes the mic.

Sullivan: "Kane! You said you are a monster and a freak. You said that no one could stop you! Well, you may be a monster, but I don't see any other monsters in that Franchise Foundation. There are TWO monsters in the Dungeon, The Yeti and The Giant. You have not yet felt their true power. You don't know what you are dealing with, and by the time you realize it, IT WILL BE TOO LATE!"

We go to a fancy office building in Toronto, and go up to the top floor. When we get there, we see a door with a sign that reads STRATUSFACTION INC. We go inside and see Trish Stratus at her desk addressing her charges, Test, Albert, Val Venis, Kanyon and Lance Storm, all of whom look nervous.

Trish: "So far, Stratusfaction Inc. has been failing in its war with The Four Horsemen. The first time, in a tag team match, Mr. Test and Mr. Albert were unable to defeat Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko and the match had no ending. Then Mr. Test tapped out to Chris Benoit's Crippler Crossface. Then Mr. Kanyon lost to Ric Flair, but that was more due to Shane Douglas' interference. Then Mr. Venis lost to Arn Anderson. On the same show, Stratusfaction Inc. FINALLY won a match when Mr. Kanyon beat Shane Douglas. Then Mr. Storm enters the Royal Rumble too late to eliminate Ric Flair, eliminates no one, and gets dropped a few minutes later by William Regal. Mr. Kanyon also was in the Rumble and lasted under a minute when Meng dropped him. Two shows ago, Mr. Storm got a win for Stratusfaction Inc. by beating Dean Malenko. Unfortunately, after the match, that stupid little "she-devil" Terri Runnels attacked me. Then I was disgraced at the last show when I LOST to Terri. I will not be known as a loser or as the boss of losers. I thought I had assembled the elite of the JWL talent pool. Stratusfaction Inc. is supposed to be the elite and dominant force in the JWL. You five are going to have to seriously improve if you want to stay employed by Stratusfaction Inc. Mr. Storm, if you don't beat Chris Benoit for the JWL World Heavyweight Title, you will be in serious trouble. You will be on Stratusfaction suspension. This will mean that when you wrestle, you will not be acknowledged as an official employee, and none of your co-workers will be allowed to assist you. If you lose three matches while suspended, you will be fired from Stratusfaction Inc. with no chance to return. I want revenge on Terri and the Horsemen, and you are my vehicle. Enough talking, it's time to get ready."

Back to the ring.

The APA vs. Shawn Stasiak and Chuck Palumbo

LG: "The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, first, from Oakville, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 242 lbs., SHAWN STASIAK! And his partner, from Providence, RI, weighing in at 280 lbs., CHUCK PALUMBO!"

(The APA's music plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: "And their opponents, representing American Badass Inc., at a total combined weight of 560 lbs., from Warner-Robbins, GA, FAAROOQ, and from Sweetwater, TX, BRADSHAW, THE APA!"

The APA enters the ring. Faarooq asks Lillian for the mic.

FAAROOQ: "Before we start, I have an announcement to make. I've been carrying around this name for the five years since the Rock fired me from the Nation of Domination, which I started. I have no more use for this name. As of right now, the name 'Faarooq' is dead, and I am once again Ron Simmons."

The match starts, and it's a brutal, vicious squash. Simmons hits the Spinebuster and Dominator on Stasiak and Bradshaw hits Palumbo with the Clothesline from Hell to score stereo pins at a brisk 1:05.

LG: "Here are your winners, Ron Simmons and Bradshaw, THE APA!"

Commercials

Back to the ring.

"The Original Gangsta" New Jack and Little Spike Dudley vs. Rodney Leinhardt and Pete Gasparino

LG: "The following hardcore tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, from Greenwich, CT, at a total combined weight of 506 lbs., RODNEY LEINHARDT AND PETE GASPARINO!"

("Natural Born Killaz" plays)

AND HERE COMES NEW JACK!

New Jack and Spike Dudley run to the ring with a garbage can full of plunder, and Lillian wisely gets out of the way. The match starts before the bell even rings, and it's every bit the brutal beatdown you expected. Chairs, golf clubs, hockey sticks, Nintendos, pieces of steel, fiddles, BUS STOP signs, telephones, barbed-wire, you name it, it was used. Both Leinhardt and Gasparino bleed a whole lot. Spike hits Pete with the Acid Drop and New Jack hits the flying guitar shot on Rodney for the pin at 4:00.

LG: "Here are your winners, the team of NEW JACK AND SPIKE DUDLEY!"

(Note: Leinhardt and Gasparino are former Mean Street Posse members Rodney and Pete "Gas," reduced to the total jobbers they should have been in the WWF.)

Leinhardt and Gasparino both do stretcher jobs to fully sell the beating. No one cares.

(We see a video package of Tori's disjointed run in the WWF as well as her loss to Beckie the Farmer's Daughter on the first episode of the JWL, her joining Raven's Nest, and her battles with Lita.)

Tori vs. Heather Lee Millard

LG: "The following women's contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, from Syracuse, NY, HEATHER LEE MILLARD!"

("Come Out and Play (Keep 'Em Separated)" by The Offspring hits, and Tori climbs over the barrier and enter the ring.)

LG: "Her opponent, representing Raven's Nest, from Portland, OR, TORI!"

Tori gets the mic.

TORI: "For too long, I have been held back by promoters and have been kept away from any Women's Title. As my new mentor and spiritual guide would say, 'WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT ABOUT TORI?' Well, my time is coming. At Superbrawl, I am going to enter the Royal Rumble for the Women's Title, and I am going to win it. It's Tori time, and the unfortunate soul in the ring across from me is about to find out what that means."

The match starts, and Tori tears into her opponent. Clearly, her association with Raven has created a new ferocity and intensity in Tori, as she destroys Heather with ease. Superplex finishes in 3:25.

LG: "Here is your winner, TORI!"

(Note: Heather Lee Millard is former two-time WOW World Champion Terri Gold under her real name as a jobber.)

The Nest leaves, having made their point for the night.

Main Event, JWL World Heavyweight Title: "The Crippler" Chris Benoit © (w/"The Horny Little She-Devil" Terri Runnels) vs. Lance Storm (w/Trish Stratus)

LG: "The following contest is our main event. It is for the JWL World Heavyweight Title and is scheduled for one fall."

("Time to Rock N Roll" plays)

LG: "Introducing first the challenger. Being led to the ring by Trish Stratus and representing Stratusfaction Inc., from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 232 lbs., LANCE STORM!"

Crowd boos.

("Rabid" plays)

Crowd cheers

LG: "And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by 'The Horny Little She-Devil' Terri Runnels and representing the Four Horsemen, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 220 lbs., he is the JWL World Heavyweight Champion, 'THE CRIPPLER' CHRIS BENOIT!"

The match starts, and is the excellent technical exhibition you would expect. Suplexes, matwork, chops, dropkicks, clotheslines, slams, submission work, near falls, it's all here. Benoit takes control and hits the Rolling German Suplexes on Storm for 2 1/2. Benoit does the thumb-across-the-throat gesture and goes up for the Diving Headbutt, but Storm somehow rolls out of the way. Storm goes to work on Benoit's leg and goes for the Canadian Maple Leaf, but Benoit blocks, turns it into a small package and manuevers into the Crippler Crossface for the tapout at 12:30.

LG: "Here is your winner, and STILL The JWL World Heavyweight Champion, 'THE CRIPPLER' CHRIS BENOIT!"

Trish grabs the mic from Lillian.

TRISH: "Lance Storm, you are suspended from Stratusfaction Inc. Get out of my sight!"

Storm leaves alone, and a frustrated Trish leaves later.

End of show