Live from the Wells Fargo Arena at the Iowa Events Center in Des Moines, IA
You know the drill.
We see the Stranger and Shawn Michaels brawling in the back.
JR and Tenay welcome us to the show and announce that our main event will be Brock Lesnar vs. Crush, and that we are scheduled to hear from JWL World Heavyweight Champion Chris Benoit.
(We go back to the surprise debut of the Boogeyman from last week and how he squashed Randy Orton.)
Opening match: The Boogeyman vs. "The Legend-Killer" Randy Orton
LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall."
("Burn in the Light" plays)
Crowd boos.
LG: "Introducing first, representing the Royals, from St. Louis, MO, weighing in at 245 lbs., RANDY ORTON!"
The lights go down.
"I'M THE BOOGEYMAN, AND I'M COMING TO GET YOU!"
The Boogeyman comes out doing his dance to a great pop, making sure to smash the clock over his head.
LG: "And his opponent, from the Bottomless Pit, weighing in at 260 lbs., THE BOOGEYMAN!"
Crowd cheers.
Orton is still nervous but has a slightly better idea of what he is dealing with than he had last week. This time, Orton actually attacks Boogeyman to start but his punches have no effect. Boogeyman stalks Orton, takes out the worms, and starts eating them again! Any confidence Orton had is now gone, as he is pleading for his life. Boogeyman squashes him again, finishing with the Goodnight pumphandle powerslam for the pin at 3:30.
LG: "Here is your winner, THE BOOGEYMAN!"
Crowd cheers. Boogeyman collects his staff and clock and dances away. The officials again help Randy to the back.
(Chris Benoit video package)
Joey Styles is in the ring.
JOEY: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, the JWL World Heavyweight Champion, 'THE CRIPPLER' CHRIS BENOIT!"
("Rabid" plays, bringing out the Champ to a good pop.)
BENOIT: "I have beaten everyone the JWL has thrown in front of me. HHH, Lance Storm, Kanyon, Scott Steiner, Jeff Jarrett, Diamond Dallas Page, the Rock and the legendary Bret Hart have all tapped out to the Crippler Crossface. Instead of waiting to see who my next opponent will be, I am going to find him myself. I am issuing an open challenge to anyone who wants to challenge me for my JWL World Heavyweight Championship at the next PPV, The Great American Bash."
("Come Out and Play" hits, as Raven climbs over the guardrail and enters the ring.)
RAVEN: "If anybody deserves a shot at you, Benoit, it's me. I have defeated more Horsemen than anyone. I beat Dean Malenko. I beat that washed-up sick fossil Ric Flair. I am answering your challenge for the Bash. I am going to take your belt and leave you laying. So it is written, so it too shall come to pass. Quote the Raven: Nevermore."
BENOIT: "You want a title shot at the Bash, Raven, you got your shot."
Benoit and Raven start to brawl, but the Nest, Stevie Richards, the Dudley Boys (Bubba Ray and D-Von) and Rhino, climbs over the guardrail and attacks Benoit. Raven's Nest is beating down the JWL World Heavyweight Champion! Dean Malenko and Arn Anderson run out to make the save, with Arn carrying a tire iron! Unfortunately, Malenko takes the 3D and Arn gets Gored. The Nest continues the beating until Ron Simmons and D-Lo Brown of American Badass Inc. rush the ring with chairs and clean house. Ron and D-Lo issue a challenge to the Dudleys for a match later tonight and the Dudleys accept.
Kurt Angle invitational: Kurt Angle vs. ???
("I Don't Suck" plays)
LG: "Please welcome to the ring, the only Olympic Gold Medalist in JWL history, KURT ANGLE!"
Crowd boos.
Kurt enters the ring with some security guards.
KURT: "Tonight will be the second time I put my Gold Medal on the line in the Kurt Angle Invitational. I don't know who I am going to find as an opponent here in Iowa."
Dead silence, then out walks Chad Wicks.
Crowd barely recognizes this guy.
KURT: "And who the hell are you?"
CHAD: "My name is Chad Wicks, and I was born in Mason City, Iowa. Some of you people might know me as Chad Toland of the Blonde Bombers or seen me briefly as Chad Dick. I am accepting the challenge for the Kurt Angle Invitational."
Kurt agrees, a clock is put up on the screen for 3 minutes, and we have a match.
Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt Angle vs. Chad Wicks
Chad tries to attack, but Kurt takes him down with ease. Kurt basically squashes Chad, finishing with the released German Suplex, the Angle Slam and the Ankle Lock for the tapout at 1:20.
LG: "Here is your winner, KURT ANGLE!"
Kurt does a sarcastic celebration in the ring as refs help Wicks to the back.
(Video package featuring great action from various Cruiserweight wrestlers. It ends with the following message.)
(Batista video package)
"The Innovator of Violence" Tommy Dreamer (w/Beulah McGillicutty) vs. "The Animal" Dave Batista
LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall."
("Unleashed" plays)
Crowd boos.
LG: "Introducing first, representing the Royals, from Washington, DC, weighing in at 315 lbs., 'THE ANIMAL' DAVE BATISTA!"
("Man in the Box" plays)
LG: And his opponent, being led to the ring by Beulah McGillicutty and representing the Hardcore Alliance, from Yonkers, NY, weighing in at 260 lbs., 'THE INNOVATOR OF VIOLENCE' TOMMY DREAMER!"
The Innovator of Violence attacks immediately, but is overpowered by Batista. Batista throws Tommy around until Tommy rolls out to the floor and grabs a chair. Referee Tim White allows it, and Tommy fights back with the chair. Tommy gets some good shots in on Batista, but Batista comes back and overpowers Tommy again. Finally, Batista takes control and finishes Tommy with the Batista Bomb at 6:30.
LG: "Here is your winner, DAVE BATISTA!"
Balls Mahoney and Mike Awesome make the save yet again, taking out Batista with some stiff chairshots.
(Commercials)
(Video package covering the feud between the Shooters and the Clique.)
Al Snow (w/Head) vs. HHH
LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall."
("Game" plays)
LG: "Introducing first, representing the Clique, from Greenwich, CT, weighing in at 270 lbs., HHH!"
Crowd boos.
("Breathe" by the Prodigy plays)
LG: "And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Head and representing the Shooters, from Lima, OH, weighing in at 234 lbs., AL SNOW!"
Crowd cheers.
HHH attacks Al before he can get in the ring and starts pounding on him with his usual stuff. Al fights back and does some excellent technical wrestling to the delight of the crowd. Al keeps up the offense, but HHH hits a knee to the head and a neckbreaker to regain control. It gets 2. HHH keeps control, but Al keeps fighting back. HHH misses a kneedrop, and Al...
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GRABS HHH'S NOSE!
Al Snow has HHH's nose and is dragging him around the ring. Al is literally leading HHH around by the nose. The crowd is laughing at HHH's predicament. HHH is not accustomed to this kind of abject humiliation. Al tightens the grip and HHH starts coughing from the lack of oxygen. Finally, HHH TAPS OUT TO THE NOSE HOLD!!!!
LG: "Here is your winner, AL SNOW!"
To further HHH's humiliation, Al Snowplows him, puts Head on top and demands that referee Chad Patton count the pin, which he does.
All of a sudden, the Stranger and Shawn Michaels come out to ringside in the midst of their brawl. Al grabs Head and decks Shawn with it! Al and Stranger beat down Shawn to the crowd's delight until refs and security stop them.
(We go back to seeing the Dudleys and Rhino beating up on the Undertaker, Ron Simmons and D-Lo Brown after the Taker-Rhino street fight match at Slamboree.)
Ron Simmons and D-Lo Brown vs. The Dudley Boys
LG: "The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall."
("We're Coming Down" plays, as the Dudleys climb over the guardrail. The Dudleys wear ECW tie-dye in the JWL instead of WWE camouflage.)
LG: "Introducing first, representing Raven’s Nest, from Dudleyville, at a total combined weight of 585 lbs., BUBBA RAY AND D-VON, THE DUDLEY BOYS!"
Crowd boos. Bubba takes the mic and insults various people before handing it back to Lillian.
("The Real Deal" plays)
LG: "And their opponents, representing American Badass Inc., from Warner Robins, GA, weighing in at 260 lbs., RON SIMMONS! And from New Jersey, weighing in at 285 lbs., D-LO BROWN!"
Crowd cheers.
We get a solid, hard-hitting match from both teams, with D-Lo playing face-in-peril. D-Lo makes the hot tag to Ron, who wipes out the Dudleys for a few minutes. Ron goes for the Dominator on D-Von, but Bubba Ray trips him up from the outside. Rhino attacks and Gores D-Lo on the outside. With referee Chad Patton attempting to get Rhino away from the ring area, the Dudleys set up a table and 3D Ron through it on the outside and D-Von rolls him in for the pin at 8:00.
LG: "Here are your winners, THE DUDLEY BOYS!"
(New Jack video package)
"The Original Gangsta" New Jack vs. The Gobbledygooker
LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 231 lbs., THE GOBBLEDYGOOKER!"
AND HERE COMES NEW JACK!
New Jack charges in with the garbage can of plunder and squashes the hapless Gooker. The Gooker bleeds through the costume. New Jack finishes with the flying guitar shot at 2:30.
LG: "Here is your winner, NEW JACK!"
(Video package covering the feud between the Dangerous Alliance and Dusty's Dream Team.)
Main Event: Brock Lesnar (w/Paul E. Dangerously and 911) vs. Crush
("Crush 'Em" by Megadeth plays)
LG: "Introducing first, representing Dusty's Dream Team, from Tampa, FL, weighing in at 315 lbs., CRUSH!"
Crowd boos.
("Next Big Thing" plays)
Crowd cheers.
LG: "And his opponent, being led to the ring by Paul E. Dangerously and representing the Dangerous Alliance, from Minneapolis, MN, weighing in at 294 lbs., BROCK LESNAR!"
This is a total power vs. power match. Not much in the way of classic scientific wrestling, but several impressive power moves. The match goes back and forth until Brock hits a huge overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Brock then presses Crush over his head and drops him onto his shoulders for the F5 which gets the pin at 8:00.
LG: "Here is your winner, BROCK LESNAR!"
The Dangerous Alliance and the Dream Team make their way out and brawl around the ring as the show ends.