The JWL [Episode 49]
Live from the Edward Jones Dome in St. Louis, MO
You know the drill.
JR and Mike Tenay welcome us to the show and announce that the main event will be a six-man tag team match with Brock Lesnar and the World's Greatest Tag Team facing the Nasty Boys and Crush.
Before we can get to the first match, we see JWL World Heavyweight Champion Chris Benoit and Raven brawling around the arena as JR hypes their match at the Great American Bash.
Opening match: "The Female Fighting Phenom" Jazz vs. "The Real Deal" Selina Majors
LG: "The following women's contest is scheduled for one fall."
("The Baddest Chick" by Trina plays)
LG: "Introducing first, representing the Hardcore Alliance, from New Orleans, LA, 'THE FEMALE FIGHTING PHENOM' JAZZ!"
Crowd cheers.
("We Will Rock You" plays)
LG: "And her opponent, representing the Revolution, from Dublin, GA, 'THE REAL DEAL' SELINA MAJORS!"
Crowd cheers.
The women have a solid match with Jazz dominating. Jazz finishes with the brainbuster and the STF for the tapout at 6:30.
LG: "Here is your winner, 'THE FEMALE FIGHTING PHENOM' JAZZ!"
Jazz takes the microphone.
JAZZ: "MOLLY! I am calling your ass out here! I want my shot at the Women's Title at the Great American Bash!"
("Revolution" plays)
MOLLY: "Jazz, I heard your challenge and I accept it. I will see you at the Bash."
(Kane video package)
"The Big Red Machine" Kane (w/"The Head Cheerleader" Francine) vs. Doink
LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, from the Circus, weighing in at 220 lbs., DOINK!"
("Burned" plays)
LG: "And his opponent, being led to the ring by 'The Head Cheerleader' Francine and representing the Franchise Foundation, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 330 lbs., 'THE BIG RED MACHINE' KANE!"
Chokeslam, tombstone, goodnight at 0:30.
Kane makes the pyro go off in celebration.
Kamala charges out with manager Jimmy Hart in tow and attacks Kane! The monsters battle it out until the managers are able to separate them.
All of a sudden, KAMALA GRABS A RINGSIDE MICROPHONE!
KAMALA: "KANE! YOU VERSUS ME AT THE BASH!"
Everyone is shocked to hear Kamala speak. Kane takes a mic and accepts the challenge. The crowd pops.
(Video package of clips of great cruiserweight action.)
("Wreck" plays, bringing out Commissioner Foley on his forklift.)
(Foley enters the ring and takes a microphone.)
FOLEY: "Hello everybody, I hope you are enjoying the show. I have a big announcement to make and it is great to be making it in a truly classic wrestling town, RIGHT HERE, IN ST. LOUIS, MO! (Thumbs up, cheap pop.) I am here to present the first six wrestlers the JWL has signed for the upcoming Cruiserweight Division. You saw the first wrestler in the first ever Kurt Angle Invitational back on Episode 42. Originally from Cleveland, OH, now making his home in Orlando, FL, please welcome to the JWL 'MR. 630' JERRELLE CLARK!"
("I Wish" by Skee-Lo plays, bringing out Clark.)
CLARK: "Commissioner Foley, I would like to thank you and the JWL for this opportunity."
FOLEY: "Please welcome the second wrestler, from San Diego, CA, the Human Highlight Reel, REY MISTERIO JR.!"
("[619]" plays, bringing out Rey to a major pop.)
FOLEY: "Please welcome the third wrestler, from Tijuana, Mexico, PSICOSIS!"
("Battery" by Metallica brings out Psicosis, who wears his mask in the JWL, to a big pop.)
FOLEY: "Please welcome the fourth wrestler, from Tulacingo, Hidalgo, Mexico, the Insane Luchador, SUPER CRAZY!"
("Roadhouse Blues" by the Doors brings Crazy out to a good pop.)
FOLEY: "Please welcome the fifth and sixth wrestlers, from Morioka, Japan and Tokyo, Japan respectively, TAKA MICHINOKU AND SHOICHI FUNAKI, KAIENTAI DELUXE!"
(The WWE Kaientai theme plays)
TAKA: "Thank you Commissioner Foley and JWL for this opportunity. Remember, you people may like us, but we are EVIL!"
FUNAKI: "INDEED!"
TAKA and Funaki then attack the other wrestlers! TAKA hits a Michinoku Driver No. 2 on Clark and Funaki hits Diamond Dust on Rey! Psicosis and Super Crazy make the save and pull Kaientai off of Clark and Rey until refs and officials can clear the ring.
(Commercials)
Coming in Four Weeks
The JWL Returns to Pay Per View
From the Pepsi Center in Denver, CO
The Great American Bash
The JWL World Heavyweight Championship is on the line
"The Crippler" Chris Benoit vs. Raven
Other Matches to be Announced Soon
(Video package covering the recent interaction between members of American Badass Inc. and Raven's Nest.)
D-Lo Brown (w/Jacqueline) vs. Rhino (w/Tori)
LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall."
("Gore" plays. As of now, all members of Raven's Nest come down the aisle rather than climb over the guardrail.)
LG: "Introducing first, being led to the ring by Tori and representing Raven's Nest, from Detroit, MI, weighing in at 285 lbs., RHINO!"
Crowd boos.
("The Real Deal" plays)
Crowd cheers.
LG: "And his opponent, being led to the ring by Jacqueline and representing American Badass Inc., from New Jersey, weighing in at 285 lbs., D-LO BROWN!"
D-Lo and Rhino have a well-worked, solid stiff match. D-Lo fights back against Rhino's power stuff, but it doesn't last long as Rhino takes control and finishes with the Gore at 7:00.
LG: "Here is your winner, RHINO!"
Jacqueline attacks Tori after the match and issues a challenge for next week. Tori accepts.
(Faces of Fear video package)
JWL World Tag Team Title: The Faces of Fear © (w/"The Taskmaster" Kevin Sullivan) vs. "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner and Sid
LG: "The following tag team contest is for the JWL World Tag Team Championship and is scheduled for one fall."
HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!
Crowd boos.
LG: "Introducing first, representing the Franchise Foundation, from Bay City, MI, weighing in at 270 lbs., 'BIG POPPA PUMP' SCOTT STEINER! And from Anywhere He Darn Well Pleases, weighing in at 325 lbs., SID!"
Steiner and Sid enter the ring and do some posing and some rambling on the mic. Scott throws in some pushups for good measure.
(The Faces of Fear's theme plays)
Crowd cheers.
LG: "And their opponents, being led to the ring by "The Taskmaster" Kevin Sullivan and representing the Dungeon of Doom, from the Kingdom of Tonga, at a total combined weight of 610 lbs., they are the JWL World Tag Team Champions, MENG AND THE BARBARIAN, THE FACES OF FEAR!"
A rough, stiff match ensues, with Steiner doing the bulk of the work for his team. A double KO involving Steiner and Barbarian leads to the crawl to tag which brings in Meng and Sid. Meng actually controls with some hard chops, kicks and headbutts. Sid fights back and goes for the powerbomb but Meng backdrops out of it. Meng then goes dropkick, frog splash and Tongan Death Grip for the pin to retain at 8:30.
LG: "Here are your winners, and still JWL World Tag Team Champions, MENG AND THE BARBARIAN, THE FACES OF FEAR!"
("Perfect Strangers" plays, bringing out the rest of the Foundation, "The Franchise" Shane Douglas, Kane and Francine.)
FRANCINE: "Scott Steiner! Sid! You guys are fired from the Franchise Foundation! Get out of here!"
Scott and Sid try to attack Francine but Kane whoops both of them!
Shane takes the microphone.
SHANE: "Seeing that this battle against the Dungeon of Doom has led to nothing but failure for the Franchise Foundation, I officially end it right here. Kane, you're on your own now. I also set for myself a new goal. That goal is destroying Ric Flair once and for all!"
Shane and Francine leave together, and Kane leaves shortly after.
(Commercials)
Coming in Three Weeks
The JWL Returns to Pay Per View
From the Pepsi Center in Denver, CO
The Great American Bash
The JWL World Heavyweight Championship is on the line
"The Crippler" Chris Benoit vs. Raven
Other Matches to be Announced Soon
"The Total Athlete" Roxy Powers vs. Trish Stratus
LG: "The following women's contest is scheduled for one fall."
("Time to Rock N Roll" plays)
LG: "Introducing first, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, TRISH STRATUS!"
Crowd boos.
("Independent Woman Pt. 1" by Destiny's Child plays)
Crowd cheers.
LG: "And her opponent, representing the Revolution, from San Jose, CA, 'THE TOTAL ATHLETE' ROXY POWERS!"
Crowd chants for Roxy.
Roxy and Trish have a well-worked match with the usual good performance from Roxy and an impressive performance from Trish. Trish gets the surprise pin after the Chick Kick and the Stratusfaction at 6:30.
LG: "Here is your winner, TRISH STRATUS!"
(Video package covering the feud between the Dangerous Alliance and Dusty's Dream Team.)
LG: "The following contest is our main event. It is a six-man tag team match scheduled for one fall."
("Nasty Boys Stomp" plays)
LG: "Introducing first, representing Dusty's Dream Team, from Allentown, PA, at a total combined weight of 615 lbs., JERRY SAGGS AND BRYAN KNOBBS, THE NASTY BOYS! And their partner, from Tampa, FL, weighing in at 315 lbs., CRUSH!"
Crowd boos.
("Bodies" by Drowning Pool plays)
Crowd cheers.
LG: "And their opponents, being led to the ring by Paul E. Dangerously and 911 and representing the Dangerous Alliance, from Minneapolis, MN, weighing in at 294 lbs., BROCK LESNAR! And at a total combined weight of 480 lbs., from Edmond, OK, CHARLIE HAAS and from Orangeburg, SC, SHELTON BENJAMIN, THE WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM!"
Before the match starts, to everyone's surprise, Dusty Rhodes walks out covered in bandages.
DUSTY: Paul E, Dangerous Alliance, Ah am back to lead mah boys to victory. You want a war, you got a war. Jerry, Bryan, Crush, let's whoop some tail.
The match starts, and is a mix of technical wrestling (the WGTT), brawling (Nasties) and power stuff (Brock and Crush.) Dusty tries to interfere and Paul E. whacks him in the head with the phone! Finally, Brock hits the F5 on Saggs for the pin at 10:00.
LG: "Here are your winners, the team of BROCK LESNAR AND THE WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM!"
The One Man Gang and Dennis Knight run out to make the save for their Dream Team stablemates, but run right into two brick walls called Brock Lesnar and 911. Chokeslam on Knight and F5 on OMG soon follow. Taz joins the rest of the DA and chokes out Crush with the Tazmission to the delight of the fans! As the DA celebrates the win, HHH runs out with his sledgehammer! HHH hits Brock with the sledgehammer, which would hurt an ordinary man, but this is no ordinary man. This is BROCK FREAKING LESNAR! Brock stands up again as if nothing happened. HHH is shocked and doesn't know what to do. Brock grabs the sledgehammer, breaks it over his knee, and throws the remnants in the trash. F5 and chokeslam on HHH to end the night and send everyone home happy.