"It’s just the same
A stupid game"
--The Cure, "Let's Go To Bed"
What does the above song lyric have to do with this episode of the JWL? Keep reading and find out.
Live from the Viejas Arena in San Diego, CA
Your hosts are Scott Hudson and Mike Tenay
We do ten-bell counts for Toni Adams and Steve Stanlee.
We go right to the ring.
LG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, from Cape Town, South Africa, weighing in at 220 lbs., MR. WORLD CUP!
Mr. World Cup is dressed in generic soccer gear and has his face painted like a soccer ball, much like the baseball face paint Steve Lombardi wore for his Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz gimmick. The crowd boos, as JWL fans do not care about soccer.
LG: And his opponent….
There is a brief moment of silence until…
Huge pop from the crowd!
LG: Being led to the ring by Paul E. Dangerously and representing the Dangerous Alliance, from New York City, NY, weighing in at 315 lbs., 911!
911 chokeslams the hell out of Mr. World Cup and pins him in a mere 10 seconds. Paul then decks him over the head with the phone!
LG: Here is your winner, 911!
Crowd chants "one more time, one more time!"
Paul: Mr. World Cup, I am going to dedicate this next chokeslam to every American boy and girl who has ever had to play your stupid, boring, uneventful, idiotic, and, in every sense of the word, POINTLESS so-called sport.
911 chokeslams Mr. World Cup again to the cheers of the crowd.
Paul: Mr. World Cup, this next chokeslam isn't really dedicated to anyone. It's just for my and these great fans' sick amusement.
911 chokeslams Mr. World Cup a third time!
Paul and 911 leave to the cheers of the crowd. Mr. World Cup does a stretcher job as the crowd sings Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye as he leaves.
(We go back to Johnny Nitro defeating Al Snow on our last show and the Blue Meanie making his surprise debut and he and Al challenging Nitro to find a partner for a tag team match.)
?
Tag Team Match: Al Snow (w/Head) and the Blue Meanie vs. Johnny Nitro (w/Melina Perez) and ?
LG: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall.
(Paparazzi plays)
LG: Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by his manager Melina Perez, from Los Angeles, CA, JOHNNY NITRO!
The crowd boos.
(Breathe by the Prodigy plays)
LG: And their opponents, coming to the ring with Head, from Lima, OH, AL SNOW! And from Pepperland, making his JWL in-ring debut, THE BLUE MEANIE!
Crowd cheers. Al does his dance and Meanie raises the roof.
NITRO: Now I will introduce my mystery partner. He hails from Perry, Oklahoma. He is an A-list athlete if I have ever seen one. He is the All-American American, JACK SWAGGER!
Crowd boos as Swagger makes his way to the ring with a big smile on his face.
Al and Nitro start and we get some great technical wrestling for the first few minutes. Swagger gets in a cheap shot from the apron, putting Al in the face-in-peril role. Nitro tags in Swagger, who controls for a while, drawing great heat. Nitro and Swagger tag in and out for a while. Meanie encourages a "Let’s Go Al!" chant from the crowd to get Al going again. Al fights back and makes the hot tag to Meanie. Meanie surprises the crowd and the heels with some hiptosses and dropkicks on Nitro. Nitro tags in Swagger, who regains control. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench Powerbomb on Meanie, but he can not lift him! Meanie backdrops out of it and hits a DDT. Meanie goes up and debuts the Meaniesault for the pin at 9:00!
LG: Here are your winners, the team of AL SNOW and THE BLUE MEANIE!
Al and Meanie start to celebrate the win when "YMCA" by the Village People plays. Meanie and Al lead the whole crowd in the YMCA dance!
JESSE: Hey everybody. I'm Jesse and this is my big brother Festus. We're the Daltons and we're all excited about coming to the JWL. And that, THAT is the face of someone who can not wait to debut on JWL TV.
(Commercials)
We come back and hear TIME TO PLAY, TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
LG: Making his way to the ring, HHH!
Crowd boos.
HHH: Hey-uh, first off I don't understand why I can't get anywhere in this company. I am 'The Game' HHH, an 8-time WWE World Heavyweight Champion and a 4-time WWE RAW World Heavyweight Champion. That makes me a 12-time World Champion and I am lucky if I get a match against some JOB Squad loser like 2 Cold Scorpio. So, I am issuing a challenge for tonight to any wrestler in the back whom I have never wrestled before. I know there are a few guys back there I haven't faced and I am calling out any one of them to come to this ring and face me tonight, because whoever it is will lose, because I am the Game and I am that damn good!
Dead silence for about a minute, and then we hear…
The crowd cheers as THE BOOGEYMAN crawls out amidst the orange smoke with the clock in his mouth and carrying the smoking staff. Boogeyman stands up, flashes that million dollar smile, laughs and smashes the clock over his head to ignite his pyro. Boogeyman does his dance to the ring, as HHH has no idea what to make of him. Boogeyman leaves the staff and clock in the corner and rolls into the ring.
Impromptu match: The Boogeyman vs. HHH
Boogeyman dances around to start, confusing HHH. They actually lock up and Boogeyman uses his strength to overpower HHH! Boogeyman powers HHH into the corner and we get a clean break. Boogeyman says, "I'm the Boogeyman, and I'm coming to get you!" and then takes out the worms and starts eating them! HHH is repulsed by the worms and tries to get away. HHH bails to the floor to regroup and Boogeyman follows him out! Boogeyman grabs HHH and throws him back in the ring. Boogeyman tosses HHH around while eating the worms. HHH actually fights back and gets in a couple of moves, but Boogeyman keeps coming back. After a few minutes of this, Boogeyman takes control and delivers the Goodnight pumphandle powerslam for the surprise pin at 8:00!
LG: Here is your winner, THE BOOGEYMAN!
After the match, Boogeyman takes out some worms and shoves them in HHH's mouth! The crowd roars as HHH frantically scrambles away in disgust.
(Video package covering Chavo Guerrero Jr.'s surprise debut on Episode 62, his win over The Hurricane and his win over Shannon Moore on Episode 63.)
"The Mexican Warrior" Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. "The Sicilian Shooter" Little Guido Maritato
LG: The following cruiserweight contest is scheduled for one fall.
(Stayin' Alive Remix by N-Trance plays)
LG: Introducing first, from Nanuet, NY, 'THE SICILIAN SHOOTER' LITTLE GUIDO MARITATO!
Crowd cheers as Guido dances down to the ring.
(Chavo Ardiente plays)
LG: And his opponent, from El Paso, TX, 'THE MEXICAN WARRIOR' CHAVO GUERRERO JR.!
Crowd cheers.
They tie up and we get an excellent fast-paced match with a combination of aerial offense and mat wrestling. Chavo controls for a while as the crowd cheers for him. Guido takes over and brings the match down to the mat as he works over Chavo with submission holds, getting a few 2-counts in the process, Guido keeps up the offense with a Sicilian Slice (Rocker Dropper) for 2. He goes for the Kiss of Death (Tomakaze) but Chavo shoves out of it. Chavo takes over again and finishes with the Tornado DDT and the frog splash for the pin at 9:00.
LG: Here is your winner, 'THE MEXICAN WARRIOR' CHAVO GUERRERO JR.!
JESSE: Hey everybody. I'm Jesse and this is my big brother Festus. We're the Daltons and we're all excited about coming to the JWL. And that, THAT is the face of someone who can not wait to debut on JWL TV.
(Commercials)
(Burmese Python video package starting with his debut on Episode 58 and his wins over Al Snow, Little Spike Dudley and Mikey Whipwreck.)
(Undertaker video package which finishes with his in-ring return at JWL Vengeance I and his challenge to the Python from Episode 63.)
Main Event: The Undertaker vs. The Burmese Python (w/Khosrow Daivari)
LG: The following contest is our main event and is scheduled for one fall.
(The Burmese National Anthem plays)
Crowd boos.
LG: Introducing first, being led to the ring by his manager Khosrow Daivari and representing Daivari International, from Myanmar, THE BURMESE PYTHON!
(Taker's music plays)
Crowd cheers.
LG: And his opponent, from Death Valley, THE UNDERTAKER!
Scott and Mike talk about how this will be a decided contrast to the cruiserweight action of the previous match, as these are two tall, powerful men who are just going to pound on each other.
They circle each other to start, attempting to establish dominance and get in each other's heads. Finally, they tie up and the Python actually overpowers Taker to start. Python gets some boots and clotheslines to take control for a few minutes. Taker fights back and gets in some good moves of his own, including the "Old School" ropewalk and flying fist. Taker gets control and we get a solid power vs. power match as a result. Daivari shouts advice and encouragement to the Python. This seems to help, as the Python actually gets control again. Python goes for a power bomb, but UT blocks it and goes for the Devil’s Triangle (triangular choke) submission hold! Python somehow is able to prevent UT from fully applying it. Python throws some heavy punches and forearms to regain control. The Python goes for Beyond Rangoon (pumphandle tombstone), but UT fights out of it. Taker regains control and forces the Python out of the ring, where the brawl continues. Daivari signals to the back and the JWL World Tag Team Champions the Redneck Wrecking Crew, Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade, run out to assist their stablemate. UT tries to fight them off, but they hit him with Sweet-and-Sour and a triple-team beating ensues as referee Charles Robinson counts to 10.
LG: Ladies and gentlemen, referee Charles Robinson has declared this match a double-countout.
Seeing the Undertaker laid out on the floor, Daivari decides that the point has been made and calls off his troops. The heels head to the back as the crowd boos and Scott and Mike wrap up the show and thank everyone for watching.
End of show.