Dark Match: Tamina d. ODB with the Superfly Splash.
Dark Match: Alex Shelley d. Roderick Strong with Sliced Bread #2.
Dark Match: Jimmy Wang Yang d. Shark Boy with Yang Time.
Dark Match: Samoa Joe d. Heath Slater with the Muscle Buster and the Coquina Clutch.
Live from the Toyota Center in Houston, TX on the USA Network
We do ten-bell counts for Chief Jay Strongbow, Christopher Arkadian, Joe Blanchard, Buddy Diamond, Gorgeous George Jr. and Judy Fargo. R.I.P.
You know the drill.
Scott and Mike welcome us to the show and announce that tonight the main event will be a six-man tag team match with the Undertaker and the World's Greatest Tag Team, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas, taking on Daivari International, the Burmese Python, Trevor Murdoch and Vladimir Kozlov.
(We go back to last week and Dusty Rhodes introducing Ted DiBiase Jr. as the newest member of his Dream Team.)
Opening match: 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Ted DiBiase Jr. (w/"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes)
LG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
("I Come from Money" plays)
LG: Introducing first, being led to the ring by "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes and representing Dusty's Dream Team, currently making his Spring residence in Palm Beach, FL, making his JWL in-ring debut, he is the Million Dollar Champion, TED DIBIASE JR.!
Crowd boos. Ted is indeed wearing the famous Million Dollar Belt around his waist.
(Jungle Boogie plays)
LG: And his opponent, from Denver, CO, 2 COLD SCORPIO!
Crowd cheers. Scorpio dances a little on his way to the ring but is all business when he gets inside. Ted takes the mic from Lillian.
TED: I am Ted DiBiase Jr. and I AM the Million Dollar Champion. However, this will be a NON-TITLE match since I will ONLY defend this title against opponents I deem WORTHY of it.
Crowd boos.
Scorpio and Ted lock up and the high-flying veteran takes control with a mix of technical and aerial offense. Scorpio gets a couple of 2-counts. Ted comes back and gets in some good moves of his own for a couple of 2-counts. They go back and forth for a few minutes. Scorpio gets control again but Dusty distracts referee Chad Patton. This allows Ted to nail Scorpio with the belt and then throw it away just as Patton turns around again to count the pin at 6:00!
LG: Here is your winner, the Million Dollar Champion TED DIBIASE JR!
Crowd boos.
The heels beat down Scorpio after the match until Balls Mahoney and Masato Tanaka, both wielding chairs, make the save.
Scott and Mike inform us that a match that was supposed to take place on Episode 67 will be taking place not just tonight but right now.
LG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
(Mr. Perfect's music plays!)
LG: Introducing first, from Robbinsdale, MN, weighing in at 224 lbs., JOE HENNIG!
Crowd cheers.
("Sirius" by the Alan Parsons Project plays!)
LG: And his opponent, from Charlotte, NC, weighing in at 215 lbs., RICHIE STEAMBOAT!
Crowd cheers.
We get a solid technical match filled with excellent wrestling from both guys as Tenay talks about the histories of Larry Hennig, Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig and Ricky Steamboat. Both Steamboat and Hennig get cheers for their work as, despite his father's and grandfather's legacies, it is far too early for Hennig to actually work heel here. Steamboat takes control and fires off some VICIOUS chops a la his father. Hennig comes back and goes for the Perfectplex, but Steamboat turns it into a small package for the pin at 7:00.
LG: Here is your winner, RICHIE STEAMBOAT!
Steamboat helps Joe to his feet, shakes his hand and they both take their bows and leave.
(Commercials)
(We go back to the Hart Dynasty's surprise debut last week and their victory over the Dudley Boys, and Raven making his return to JWL TV to kick the Dudleys out of the Nest.)
("Come Out and Play [Keep 'Em Separated]" by the Offspring plays)
LG: Ladies and gentlemen, now making his way to the ring, RAVEN!
Everybody's favorite anti-social grunge freak makes his way down to the ring to a mix of boos and some cheers as the fans are happy to see him again. Raven enters the ring, takes the mic from Lillian, who leaves, and, of course, sits down in the corner.
RAVEN: I'm sure you probably weren't wondering where I've been since my old nemesis the Sandman eliminated me from the JWL World Heavyweight Title Tournament back on Episode 57. I have been with the JWL from the beginning and it is impossible for me to deny that my time here has not turned out as well as I would have hoped. All the way back on Episode 4, I lost my first match here to the Hurricane. My longtime flunky Stevie Richards and Tori have both retired. The Undertaker locked my Rhino in a casket at JWL Vengeance I and he has not been seen or heard from since. I kicked the Dudleys out of the Nest last week for failing to win the JWL World Tag Team Titles, or, for that matter, any matches of any kind of long-term significance. But then, I'm not one to talk, since I have not won any gold in the JWL either. Last week, I said that if I could not find someone to lead to JWL gold that I would walk out of here. But as the cliché goes, if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. With that being said, I am committing myself to winning the JWL World Heavyweight Title. I imagine, in your pathetic pea-sized brains, you people are thinking, No one has been able to beat Kane yet, what makes you think you can do what the Barbarian, Meng, my greatest nemeses Tommy Dreamer and the Sandman, Masato Tanaka, Matt Hardy, 2 Cold Scorpio, Al Snow and Crowbar all could not do? I think I can do it because I still possess a superior intellect and I understand the anger, the rejection and the pain that fuels Kane's path of destruction. Because I understand him, I can use all his negative feelings against him in a way that will inevitably lead to his downfall. If I find I am mistaken, then it will be time for me to finally leave the JWL once and for all. So it is written, so it too shall come to pass. Quote the Raven…Nevermore.
As Raven leaves, he actually gets some chants of "Please don’t go, please don’t go."
(Commercials)
When we come back, we hear "WE'RE COMING DOWN!"
The Dudley Boys storm out to the ring and Bubba Ray grabs the mic.
BUBBA RAY: HART DYNASTY! You punks got lucky against us last week. Well, we are ready for you this time. Get your Canadian asses out here!
D-VON: OH MY BROTHER, TESTIFY!
("New Foundation" plays)
The Hart Dynasty (DH Smith and Tyson Kidd, w/Natalya Neidhart) vs. the Dudley Boys (Bubba Ray and D-Von)
Tyson and D-Von start, and D-Von actually controls, putting Tyson in the face-in-peril role. D-Von relies on power stuff, throwing Tyson around and getting both guys good reactions. D-Von gets a couple of 2-counts. He tags in Bubba Ray, who continues the heels' control of the action. DH and Natalya get a "TYSON! TYSON!" chant going. The Dudleys tag in and out for the next few minutes. Bubba Ray gets overconfident and goes for his second-rope senton, but Tyson rolls out of the way just in time. With one last burst of energy, he lunges for his corner and tags in Smith. DH comes in and overpowers Bubba Ray for a time. Bubba Ray briefly escapes and tags in D-Von. DH and D-Von go back and forth for a few minutes until DH is able to take over, finishing with the Running Powerslam for the pin at 8:30!
LG: Here are your winners, THE HART DYNASTY!
(Jimmy Wang Yang video)
(Bobby Lashley video)
(Samoa Joe video)
(We go back to Daffney Unger making her successful JWL in-ring debut last week by defeating the also-debuting Amber O'Neal.)
"The Scream Queen" Daffney Unger vs. "The Paparazzi Princess" Melina Perez
LG: The following women's contest is scheduled for one fall.
(Paparazzi plays, as Melina does the whole entrance, with developmental wrestlers playing the photographers)
LG: Introducing first, from Los Angeles, CA, "THE PAPARAZZI PRINCESS" MELINA PEREZ!
Mix of boos and whistles.
(Psychotic plays)
LG: And her opponent, from Atlanta, GA, "THE SCREAM QUEEN" DAFFNEY UNGER!
Crowd cheers.
Scott and Mike talk about how these are two VERY different personalities.
The match starts, and Melina takes control with technical wrestling. Daffney responds in kind, hitting some good moves for a few 2-counts. Daffney starts SCREAMING and Melina runs for cover. Referee Nick Patrick tells her to get back in the ring. Melina returns and tries to take over again, but Daffney is able to keep up with her well enough to take control for a while. Melina fights back and goes for the Last Call, but Daffney blocks it and debuts the Lobotomy for the pin at 9:00!
LG: Here is your winner, DAFFNEY UNGER!
Melina is upset and attacks Daffney after the match. Johnny Nitro runs down to back up Melina. The crowd pops as CROWBAR returns and makes the save for Daffney.
CROWBAR: NEXT WEEK, the MISFITS against the A-List Couple!
The crowd pops. Nitro accepts the challenge for his team.
Psicosis vs. TAKA Michinoku (w/Shoichi Funaki)
LG: The following cruiserweight contest is scheduled for one fall.
(Kaientai Deluxe's music plays)
LG: Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Kaientai Deluxe member Shoichi Funaki, from Morioka, Iwate, Japan, TAKA MICHINOKU!
Mix of cheers and boos as Kaientai heel it up for a bit.
("Battery" by Metallica plays)
LG: And his opponent, from Tijuana, Mexico, PSICOSIS!
Crowd cheers.
The match starts and Psicosis immediately goes to the high-risk offense to the cheers of the crowd. TAKA fights back with more technical stuff to ground Psicosis and keep the face-heel reactions consistent. They go back and forth for several minutes, each getting 2-counts on the other. Funaki tries to interfere, but Psicosis takes him out with a missile dropkick to the floor to a big pop. TAKA attacks Psicosis out there, rolls back in to break up referee Chad Patton's count, and goes out to roll Psicosis back in and follows for a 2-count. Finally, Psicosis powerbombs TAKA and goes up and delivers the JWL debut of the MOONSAULT SENTON!
This gets both a huge pop and the pin for Psicosis at 9:30!
LG: Here is your winner, PSICOSIS!
Psicosis takes his bows and leaves while Kaientai Deluxe attempt to regroup.
(Commercials)
The NCIS Gone But Not Forgotten Marathon, all this Saturday starting at 9:00 AM. Only on USA. Characters welcome.
(Video package covering Daivari International's time in the JWL, starting with the Burmese Python's debut on Episode 58, the Redneck Wrecking Crew [Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade] defeating the Faces of Fear for the JWL World Tag Team Titles at JWL Vengeance I, the debuts of Vladimir Kozlov and Aksana on Episode 68, and Murdoch and Kozlov defeating the World's Greatest Tag Team [Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas] last week and the Undertaker making the save and volunteering himself for a six-man tag team match on this week’s show.)
Main Event: The Undertaker and the World's Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas) (w/Paul E. Dangerously and 911) vs. Daivari International (The Burmese Python, Trevor Murdoch and Vladimir Kozlov, w/Khosrow Daivari and Aksana)
LG: The following six-man tag team match is our main event and is scheduled for one fall.
(Daivari's music plays)
LG: Introducing first, being led to the ring by Khosrow Daivari and "The Lithuanian Sensation" Aksana, from Myanmar, THE BURMESE PYTHON, from Houston, TX, TREVOR MURDOCH and from Moscow, Russia, VLADIMIR KOZLOV, DAIVARI INTERNATIONAL!
The crowd boos. Murdoch doesn't even get a single cheer in his own hometown.
(Bodies by Drowning Pool plays)
LG: And their opponents, first, being led to the ring by Paul E. Dangerously and 911 and representing the Dangerous Alliance, from Orangeburg, SC, SHELTON BENJAMIN and from Edmond, OK, CHARLIE HAAS, THE WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM!
Crowd cheers. The DA start to walk down the ramp and stop for the arrival of their partner for the night.
*BONG BONG BONG*
(The Darkest Side plays)
LG: And their partner, from Death Valley, THE UNDERTAKER!
BIG pop for UT.
As UT gets his usual dramatic entrance, 911 pulls a flashlight out of his jacket so he can check to see if anyone is hiding under the ring or in the first few rows who could possibly interfere in the match. He reports to Paul E. that it looks clean. UT reaches the ring and brings up the lights.
LG: Ladies and gentlemen, JWL Commissioner Mick Foley has ruled that Paul E. Dangerously, 911, Khosrow Daivari and Aksana are all banned from ringside for this contest and that anyone who interferes in this match will be suspended.
Paul E. and Daivari give their teams some last-minute words of encouragement and head to the back. Out of nowhere, DOINK THE CLOWN runs out of the crowd and hits Paul and 911 with his big hammer! 911 is mad and chases the Clown to the back.
We start with Haas and Murdoch, with neither guy able to gain an immediate advantage. Trevor uses brawling to gain control, putting Haas in the face-in-peril role. Murdoch gets a couple of 2-counts and drags Haas over to the heels' corner to tag in Kozlov. Kozlov throws Haas around, drawing "USA" and "CHARLIE CHARLIE" chants from the crowd mixed in with boos for Kozlov. Kozlov misses a corner charge, enabling Haas to roll to his corner and tag in Shelton. Shelton uses his speed impressively, taking control away from Kozlov. Shelton hits some suplexes of his own, but Kozlov is able to avoid Shelton's pin attempts. Kozlov regains control and tags in the 7', 300 lbs.+ Burmese Python. The Python just overpowers Shelton, and the crowd IMMEDIATELY starts chanting REST IN PEACE! REST IN PEACE! Shelton comes back, ducks the Python's clothesline, rolls to his corner and makes the HOT tag to the Undertaker. Scott mentions their previous singles encounter that was the main event of Episode 64 and how that match went to a double-countout. The Undertaker comes in and immediately goes right into brawling with the Python to the cheers of the crowd. Neither guy budges an inch. UT tries for the Chokeslam, but Python fights out of it. The Python goes for Beyond Rangoon (pumphandle tombstone), but you are NOT going to get UT that way, as he reverses the move to go for his own Tombstone, but Murdoch clips UT's knee from the apron. The Python takes over to the shock of the crowd. Kozlov pulls referee Charles Robinson to the floor and runs him into the ringpost. Daivari International proceed with a three-on-one beating until Haas and Benjamin run in to start the all-out brawl. Finally, head referee Earl Hebner runs down and throws the match out at 13:00.
LG: Ladies and gentlemen, JWL Head Referee Earl Hebner has declared this match a no-contest.
The brawl continues as referees, security and backstage officials run out to separate them. After several minutes, UT/WGTT and Daivari International separately head to the back as Scott and Mike recap the show and thank everyone for watching.
End of show.