Dark Match: Heath Slater d. Leo Kruger with Sweetness.
Dark Match: Bobby Lashley and Samoa Joe d. Cliff Compton and CJ Parker with a Dominator and a Coquina Clutch.
Dark Match: The Prime Time Players (Darren Young and Titus O'Neill) (w/"Program Director" Byron Saxton) d. Chase Stevens and David Young with Off the Air (Veg-A-Matic).
Live from the New Orleans Arena in New Orleans, LA
You know the drill.
We do ten-bell counts for Don Fields, Bobby Jaggers, Stan Vachon, Marvin Lambert, Mike Graham and Brad Armstrong. R.I.P.
(We go back to Daffney Unger defeating Melina Perez two weeks ago and Perez and Johnny Nitro defeating Daffney and Crowbar last week.)
Crowbar vs. Johnny Nitro
The ladies are back in the locker room tonight, as this is the guys' chance to shine, and shine they do. Both guys deliver a match filled with excellent technical wrestling, with some aerial offense mixed in as well. They go back and forth for a while, each getting some 2-counts on the other. Crowbar comes back and goes for the Moonsault, but Nitro blocks him, suplexes him down and finishes with Moonlight Drive for the pin at 7:30.
LG: Here is your winner, JOHNNY NITRO!
Crowd boos.
David Hart Smith vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
Well, we were supposed to have this match but the Dudleys have apparently laid out Smith and Tyson Kidd backstage. The Dudleys are in a rage and we see various heels, including Batista, HHH, Johnny Nitro, Trevor Murdoch, Christian and Jack Swagger, along with JWL officials Sgt. Slaughter,Gerald Brisco, Pat Patterson and Dr. Tom Prichard attempting to calm them down.
Natalya Neidhart vs. Jacqueline
Natalya is somewhat distracted by what the Dudleys did to her Hart Dynasty allies earlier, but tries to focus on the match. Jacqueline takes control for a few minutes to cheers. Natalya gets focused on the task at hand and comes back with a few clotheslines and suplexes for a couple of 2 counts. As Natalya keeps up the offense, Scott Hudson lets us know that right after this match we will be having a street fight with Balls Mahoney and Masato Tanaka vs. the Dudley Boys! Jackie comes back and goes for the Tornado DDT, Natalya tries to block it but Jackie counters that and delivers the DDT for the pin at 6:00.
LG: Here is your winner, JACQUELINE!
As soon as Lillian finishes saying that, we see Balls Mahoney, Masato Tanaka and the Dudleys make their way out with the plunder, as the impromptu street fight truly is starting RIGHT NOW! Jackie wakes up Nattie and they run like heck to get away from the brawling. Balls & Tanaka and the Dudleys fight all over the arena, using chairs, garbage cans and anything else they can find. D-Von nails Balls with a chair to the back for 2. Tanaka blasts Bubba Ray in the stomach with a table THREE TIMES with D-Von running over to break up the pin. Tanaka just beats the hell out of Bubba Ray to the cheers of the crowd. Balls comes back and joins in on the beating. D-Von comes back with a ladder to add to the fun. To everyone's surprise, the Nasty Boys, with manager Dusty Rhodes, run out and attack both teams. Knobbs grabs a mic and demands that this fight be made into a three-way dance. Balls/Tanaka and the Dudleys decide that is OK with them and now we have THREE teams brawling all over the place. Just to increase the mayhem, the Faces of Fear with manager Jimmy Hart run out and Hart demands that THEY get to join in the fight as well, and everyone seems to be OK with that. Now we have 8 guys brawling all over the place, while Dusty and Jimmy yell at each other. The Nasties go for the Pitstop Elbow on Balls, but Tanaka hits Rolling Elbows on both. Tanaka pins Knobbs at 6:30.
LG (from the safety of the ring area): The Nasty Boys have been eliminated. The match continues.
The ECW vets and the Faces of Fear now team up to take out the Dudleys, finishing with Meng taking down Bubba Ray with the Tongan Death Grip on the floor while Balls gives D-Von the Nutcracker Suite in the ring, of all places.
LG: The Dudley Boys have been eliminated. The match continues.
The crowd cheers the departure of the Dudleys.
We are down to the two fan favorites teams here, and, since they all love to fight, they proceed to continue to beat the hell out of each other. The crowd alternates chants. Balls and Tanaka go all stiff with the FOF, since they can take it, and the FOF respond with much of the same. After a few more minutes of wild brawling, Meng takes down Balls with the Tongan Death Grip while Tanaka and Barbarian are busy elsewhere. Tanaka takes out Barbarian with a Sliding D and runs over to help his partner. Balls is fading but Tanaka makes the save. Tanaka and Meng then stiff the hell out of each other….and Tanaka WINS! Tanaka delivers the Sliding D to Meng for the pin at 10:30!
LG: The Faces of Fear have been eliminated. Here are your winners, BALLS MAHONEY AND MASATO TANAKA!
The crowd chants "ECW ECW ECW!" Balls and Tanaka help the FOF to their feet and all four raise their hands together, as this was nothing personal, just business.
(Commercials)
We come back in time for IF YOU SMELL…………..
LG: Ladies and gentlemen, THE ROCK!
It is time for THE SMACKDOWN HOTEL!
ROCK: FINALLY, The Rock has come back to the Smackdown Hotel! The Rock says that he is very DISAPPOINTED with the JWL and that silly washed-up jabronie Commissioner Foley since he must be responsible for the Rock's guests this week. After two GREAT episodes of the Smackdown Hotel, the first with Mr. Khosrow Daivari and the second with the leader of the Royals, the Rock's manager Jerry "The King" Lawler, for whom the Rock wishes a speedy and complete recovery, the Rock is back talking to jabronies again. Apparently, this jabronie, who calls himself PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY, has an important announcement. Well, the Rock doesn't give a damn about his stupid announcement, but, apparently, I have to bring out his candy ass anyway. Well, PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY, get your monkey ass down here!
(Bodies by Drowning Pool plays, bringing out the Dangerous Alliance, Paul E. Dangerously, the World's Greatest Tag Team [Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas] and 911.)
ROCK: PAUL E, you washed-up jabronie former leader of those hardcore ECW jabronies, what in the blue hell are you doing here and why does the Rock have to waste his valuable time talking to you?
PAUL E: ROCK, the greatest mind in professional wrestling does indeed have an important announcement to make. I have been hearing the talk about how the Dangerous Alliance is outnumbered against the Royals, against Dusty's Dream Team and against Daivari International. We have had some setbacks. Our flagship, BROCK LESNAR, had to retire due to health issues. The JWL Hall of Famer, "The Human Suplex Machine" TAZ, retired due to past injuries. MATT HARDY had personal issues that were more important and retired so he could deal with them. However, I have been looking for new talent everywhere and I have found two of the very best wrestlers in the world to complete the Dangerous Alliance. I am here tonight in the Smackdown Hotel to introduce the two new members of the Dangerous Alliance. The first is a three-time amateur wrestling champion from Missouri Valley College, an Armed Forces Champion, a National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics All-American, a mixed-martial artist and an all-around excellent wrestler. From Colorado Springs, Colorado, please welcome, to the Smackdown Hotel, to the Dangerous Alliance and to the JWL, "THE REAL DEAL" BOBBY LASHLEY!
(Lashley's music plays to a good pop as he makes his way down to the ring , shakes hands with his new stablemates, and stands silently looking like the imposing physical specimen he is. )
ROCK: So, does he have anything to say?
PAUL E: This man does his talking in the ring. Now, it is time for the final piece of the puzzle. This man is one of the most powerful and most talented and most acclaimed men in professional wrestling today. He claims to represent a Nation of Violence! He has held gold in America and Japan. Please welcome, "THE SAMOAN SUBMISSION MACHINE" SAMOA JOE!
(Joe's music hits and the crowd goes wild, chanting "JOE IS GONNA KILL YOU! JOE IS GONNA KILL YOU!" as he enters the ring, complete with the towel over his shoulders, and joins the DA.)
ROCK: Hold on, hold on, hold on just ONE DAMN SECOND there, Paul E. Dangerously! You said this guy was Samoan? Now, the Rock is included in the great Samoan wrestling family that goes back to Afa, Sika and the Rock's grandfather, the late great High Chief Peter Maivia, and the Rock has NEVER seen this jabronie on the family tree! Who is this FAKE, IMPOSTER jabronie that you are trying to pass off as a great Samoan athlete?
JOE: It's true, I am not related to Afa, Sika or the other great Samoan athletes on that family tree. I was born in Orange County, California and grew up in Huntington Beach and in Ewa Beach, Hawaii. But I AM Samoan and I AM a great athlete. You heard the people chanting "JOE IS GONNA KILL YOU! JOE IS GONNA KILL YOU!," right? How would you like to find out right here right now WHY they were chanting that for me?
ROCK: Shut the hell up, you fat slob! This is the SMACKDOWN HOTEL, the ROCK'S SHOW, so have some damn respect!
The Rock then SLAPS Samoa Joe!
Bad move, as Joe decks Rock and suplexes him across the ring! Joe sets Rock up on the top turnbuckle for the JWL debut of the MUSCLE BUSTER to a big pop!
The Dangerous Alliance pose victoriously and leave to the cheers of the crowd.
(Commercials)
Al Snow (w/Head) vs. "The Million-Dollar Champion" Ted DiBiase Jr. (w/"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes)
Before the match starts, Ted presents his Million Dollar Belt and reminds everyone that the match is NON-Title, drawing boos.
We get solid technical wrestling for several minutes, as should be expected. DiBiase controls for a bit and goes for the Million Dollar Dream but Al escapes and gets an arm drag into an arm-bar. Al takes control and goes for the Snow Plow, but DiBiase escapes and debuts Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) for the pin at 7:00.
LG: Here is your winner, The Million-Dollar Champion TED DIBIASE JR.!
Crowd boos as DiBiase collects the Belt and walks around the ring holding it up for everyone to see. DiBiase and Dusty then start to double-team Al until SAMOA JOE AND BOBBY LASHLEY make the save. Joe grabs a microphone and calls out DiBiase for a tag match with Joe/Lashley vs. DiBiase/Cody for next week. DiBiase accepts.
"The Anarchist" Shannon Moore vs. Little Guido Maritato
We get a solid, exciting well-worked match, as should be expected from these two. They go back and forth for several minutes. Finally, Moore goes up but misses the Halo. Guido takes advantage and finishes with the Sicilian Crab for the tap-out at 7:30.
LG: Here is your winner, LITTLE GUIDO MARITATO!
Main Event: The Undertaker vs. The Burmese Python (w/Khosrow Daivari)
It's another big brawl between the Phenom and the masked mercenary. They go back and forth for several minutes, leading to both guys getting counted out at 10:00.
End of show.