Live from the United Center in Chicago, IL
You know the drill.
(Video package covering past encounters between Luna Vachon and Sable in WWE and in the JWL.)
Opening mixed tag team match: Luna Vachon and Gangrel vs. Sable and Marc the Bodyguard (w/Torrie Wilson)
LG: "The following mixed tag team contest is scheduled for one fall."
("Wild Cat" plays)
LG: "Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by her assistant Torrie Wilson, from Hollywood, CA, SABLE! And from Orlando, FL, weighing in at 235 lbs., MARC THE BODYGUARD!"
Crowd boos.
("Blood" plays)
LG: "And their opponents, representing the Misfits, from the Other Side of Darkness, LUNA VACHON AND GANGREL!"
Gangrel and Marc start and we get some solid technical wrestling from both guys. Gangrel takes control and tags in Luna. Marc retreats to his corner and tags in a visibly nervous Sable. We finally get Luna and Sable face to face in the ring. Luna spears Sable immediately and goes ground-and-pound, drawing great face heat. Sable fights back with some punches of her own and a clothesline for 2. Sable seems motivated by being back in the ring for a real match, and unleashes some good martial arts kicks on a surprised Luna. Luna fights back and tears into Sable. Sable bails and tags in Marc, causing a frustrated Luna to tag Gangrel back into the match. We get more good action from both guys. Torrie distracts referee Tim White, allowing Marc to low-blow Gangrel and roll him up for the pin with his own feet on the ropes at 7:00.
LG: "Here are your winners, SABLE AND MARC THE BODYGUARD!"
The heels get no chance to celebrate though, as Luna goes right after a frightened Torrie who bails, but is confronted by Luna's Misfits stablemate Daffney Unger, who beats up Torrie, screaming all the way. Finally, the faces regroup and head to the back, grumbling with disappointment.
(Video package covering Taz and Regal's past in WWE, their brawl in Episode 44 and the match where Regal cheated to beat Taz on Episode 45.)
Submission Match: "The Human Suplex Machine" Taz vs. William Regal
LG: "The following submission match is scheduled for one fall."
(Regal's WWE theme plays)
LG: "Introducing first, representing the Royals, from Blackpool, England, weighing in at 245 lbs., WILLIAM REGAL!"
Crowd boos.
("War Machine" plays)
LG: "And his opponent, representing the Dangerous Alliance, from the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, NY, weighing in at 240 lbs., he is the Human Suplex Machine, ladies and gentlemen, this...is...TAZ!"
JR mentions that neither Jerry Lawler nor Paul E. Dangerously are at ringside for this match in order for them to prepare for the six-man steel cage match later in the show.
Taz and Regal go right to work with mat wrestling and suplexes. Regal works on an armbar, in order to weaken the arm for the Regal Stretch. Taz comes back with a DDT and a couple of Tazplexes. Regal hits the Butterfly Powerbomb and works on Taz's arm some more. Taz fights back and works over Regal's neck with some submission holds and Tazplexes. Regal fights back and goes for the Regal Stretch, but Taz makes the ropes. Taz takes over with some big Tazplexes. Finally, Taz hits the T-Bone Tazplex, does the thumb-across-the-throat signal, and locks on the Tazmission. Regal fights it, but finally taps out at 9:00.
LG: "The winner of the submission match, TAZ!"
(Video package covering past encounters between the Undertaker and Rhino.)
Street Fight Match: The Undertaker vs. Rhino
LG: "The following street fight match is scheduled for one fall. The rules are no-DQ, no-countout and falls will count anywhere."
("Gore" plays)
LG: "Introducing first, representing Raven's Nest, from Detroit, MI, weighing in at 285 lbs., he is the Man-Beast, RHINO!"
Crowd boos.
("American Bad Ass" plays)
Crowd cheers.
LG: "And his opponent, representing American Badass Inc., from Houston, TX, weighing in at 328 lbs., THE UNDERTAKER!"
Rhino attacks Taker before he can even get off of his motorcycle. Slugfest to start, as they fight around the ring area. Taker grabs a chair from ringside and gets in some shots on Rhino. Rhino fights back with some chairshots of his own. Rhino pulls a garbage can out from under the ring and whacks UT in the head with it. Rhino covers for 2. Taker finds a pool cue under the ring and uses that on Rhino for a bit. It gets 2. Rhino comes back with a chair and hits some vicious shots on UT with it for 2. All of a sudden, the Dudley Boys, Bubba Ray and D-Von, come out of the stands and attack UT! It's the Nest three-on-one against the Undertaker now. The Dudleys set up a table against the barrier and Rhino gores UT through it! UT tries to get up and Rhino whacks him with a shovel! Rhino gets the shocking pin at 10:00. Ron Simmons and D-Lo Brown of American Badass Inc. run out to make the save and brawl with the Dudleys, but the Dudleys and Rhino beat them up too. The Dudleys hit 3D on D-Lo in the ring and Rhino gores Ron on the floor. Jacqueline comes out to help her stablemates but Tori attacks her as well. The Nest has completely laid out American Badass Inc.! The crowd is in shock.
LG: "Here is your winner, RHINO!"
(We look back at the big brawl involving the Dangerous Alliance/Hardcore Alliance/Misfits vs. Dusty's Dream Team/Royals/High Standards that ended Episode 41.)
Joey Styles joins the announce team.
???
Steel Cage Match: A Half-Ton of Holy Hell vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler, "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes and Mr. Bob Backlund
LG: "The following is the special no-escape six-man steel cage match."
(Lawler's music plays)
LG: "Introducing first, representing the Royals, from Memphis, TN, weighing in at 236 lbs., JERRY 'THE KING' LAWLER! And his partners, representing Dusty's Dream Team, from Austin, TX, weighing in at 302 lbs., 'THE AMERICAN DREAM' DUSTY RHODES! And representing High Standards, from Princeton, MN, weighing in at 241 lbs., MR. BOB BACKLUND!"
Crowd boos.
("Desperado" plays, bringing out "The Hardcore Legend" Terry Funk, Paul E. Dangerously with 911 and an angry Luna Vachon.)
FUNK: "The time has come to present a Half-Ton of Holy Hell. Mr. Dangerously, would you please do the honor of introducing the first two members of the team."
PAUL E.: "Mr. Funk, it would indeed be an honor. I said that two members of the team would be monsters from the early days of ECW. The first monster made his ECW debut at Ultra Clash, September 18, 1993. The second monster made his ECW debut in the main event of the first ever November to Remember, November 13, 1993. Let's bring them out, right now."
Oh, no, it's, it's......
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IT'S ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER AND KING KONG BUNDY! THE MADMAN FROM THE SUDAN AND THE WALKING CONDOMINIUM ARE 2/3 OF A HALF-TON OF HOLY HELL!
Luna takes the microphone.
LUNA: "I said that I would bring a monster from the depths of Hell itself. I deliver on my promises. Being presented by his manager the Sinister Minister, I give you, the Beast from the Black Hole, the Monster ABYSS!"
Abyss comes out with a big chain over his shoulders ready to do battle.
Lawler, Dusty and Backlund are absolutely terrified at the prospect of having to face Abby, Bundy and Abyss at the same time.
The monsters enter the cage and just destroy the managers. Abby uses the fork repeatedly on all three guys. Abby, Bundy and Abyss take turns beating on the helpless heels. Amidst the carnage and brutality, Tenay makes the astute observation that Backlund likely will not be able to help Bret Hart in the main event when he challenges Chris Benoit for the JWL World Heavyweight Title, Dusty won't be able to help the Nasty Boys when they challenge the Faces of Fear for the JWL World Tag Team Titles and Lawler won't be able to help Diamond Dallas Page in the career vs. career cage match against Mikey Whipwreck. Finally, Abyss gives Dusty the Shock Treatment and the Black Hole Slam, Abby hits the Sudanese Meat Cleaver on Backlund and Bundy hits the Atlantic City Avalanche and big splash on Lawler. Referee Jim Molineaux counts to three, but Bundy demands a five-count and gets it at 6:00
LG: "Here are your winners, 'THE MADMAN FROM THE SUDAN' ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER, KING KONG BUNDY AND THE MONSTER ABYSS, A HALF-TON OF HOLY HELL!"
Crowd cheers.
Lawler, Dusty and Backlund all do stretcher jobs
Abby, Bundy and Abyss celebrate the win with the fans as ring attendants mop up the blood.
(Video package covering past encounters between Mikey Whipwreck and DDP, setting up this cage match.)
Steel Cage Match: Career vs. Career: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Diamond Dallas Page
LG: "The following no-escape steel cage career vs. career match is scheduled for one fall."
("Self High-Five" plays)
LG: "Introducing first, representing the Royals, from New Jersey, weighing in at 253 lbs., DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!"
Crowd boos.
("Pepper" by the Butthole Surfers plays)
LG: "And his opponent, representing the Hardcore Alliance, from Buffalo, NY, weighing in at 187 lbs., MIKEY WHIPWRECK!"
Crowd cheers.
JR, Tenay and Joey all express hope that this match will be much less bloody and violent than the previous one.
Mikey and DDP go right into straight wrestling for the first few minutes. Then Mikey rams DDP's head into the side of the cage, busting him open. IT'S ON! They brawl all over the cage. Mikey uses some aerial moves to keep control. DDP takes control and goes for the Diamond Cutter, but Mikey blocks and sends DDP facefirst into the cage AGAIN! Mikey bleeds. Finally, Mikey hits the Frankenmikey and Whippersnapper on DDP and hits a moonsault OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE for the pin at 15:00!!!
LG: "Here is your winner, MIKEY WHIPWRECK!"
The cage is taken down as Mikey celebrates with the fans and DDP, head hung low, quietly returns to the lockerroom.
(Video package covering the Stranger's attacks on Shawn Michaels and other Clique members going back to Episode 37.)
The Stranger vs. "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels
LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall."
("Sexy Boy" plays)
LG: "Introducing first, representing the Clique, from San Antonio, TX, weighing in at 235 lbs., 'THE HEARTBREAK KID' SHAWN MICHAELS!"
Crowd boos.
Shawn dances to the ring and does some posing when he gets there.
The lights go down.
("Welcome to My Nightmare" plays)
LG: "And his opponent, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 220 lbs., THE STRANGER!"
Shawn is nervous but tries not to show it too much.
The Stranger attacks with power stuff, press slamming Shawn and generally throwing him around. Tenay says that with the Stranger employing different offense each time he's in the ring, it makes it impossible to figure out who he really is. Shawn comes back with some of his usual stuff. Shawn hits a flying forearm for 2. Stranger responds with one of his own, then a powerbomb and a rolling senton for 2. Shawn relies on his standard offense against the unpredictable and unorthodox Stranger. Shawn hits the bodyslam and top rope elbow drop for 2. Shawn gives the "that's it" sign and warms up the band. Shawn connects with Sweet Chin Music but it only gets 2. Now Shawn is really worried, since his finisher didn't keep the Stranger down. Shawn bails and Stranger follows leading to a chase around the ring. Back in, Shawn takes over with some stomps and clotheslines. That is still not enough to put the Stranger down for 3. Shawn takes control and hits the piledriver followed by a second Sweet Chin Music for the shock pin at 13:00! Shawn pins the Stranger!
LG: "Here is your winner, 'THE HEARTBREAK KID' SHAWN MICHAELS!"
(Video package covering the past encounters in WCW between the Faces of Fear and the Nasty Boys.)
JWL World Tag Team Title: The Faces of Fear (w/"The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart) (c) vs. The Nasty Boys
LG: "The following is the first of our three title matches. It is for the JWL World Tag Team Titles and is scheduled for one fall."
(The Nasty Boys' WWE theme plays)
Crowd boos.
LG: "Introducing first, representing Dusty's Dream Team, from Allentown, PA, weighing in at a total combined weight of 615 lbs., JERRY SAGS AND BRYAN KNOBBS, THE NASTY BOYS!"
(The Faces of Fear's theme plays)
Crowd cheers.
LG: "And their opponents, being led to the ring by 'The Mouth of the South' Jimmy Hart and representing the Dungeon of Doom, from the Kingdom of Tonga, at a total combined weight of 610 lbs., they are the JWL World Tag Team Champions, MENG AND THE BARBARIAN, THE FACES OF FEAR!"
Meng and Knobbs start, and the two former WCW Hardcore Champions slug it out all over the ring. Hard shots from both guys. Meng controls and tags in Barbarian, who continues the beating. Sags cheapshots Barbarian from the outside, allowing Knobbs to take control. Sags comes in and takes over, putting Barbarian in the face of fear in peril role. Just a rough, stiff fight, nothing fancy or sophisticated here. Sags misses a splash and Barbarian makes the hot tag to Meng, who cleans house. The Nasties come back but the FOF keep control. Finally, Barbarian hits Sags with the Kick of Fear and finishes with a diving headbutt for the pin to retain at 12:00.
LG: "Here are your winners, and still JWL World Tag Team Champions, MENG AND THE BARBARIAN, THE FACES OF FEAR!"
(Video package covering Molly and Trish's past in WWE as well as their match on Episode 22.)
JWL Women's Title: Molly Holly (c) vs. Trish Stratus
LG: "The following women's contest is for the JWL Women's Championship and is scheduled for one fall."
("Time to Rock N Roll" plays)
Crowd boos.
LG: "Introducing first, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, TRISH STRATUS!"
("Revolution" by the Beatles plays)
Crowd pops huge.
LG: "And her opponent, representing the Revolution, from Mobile, AL, she is the JWL Women's Champion, MOLLY HOLLY!"
Trish grabs a headlock immediately and cranks on it, leading to Molly whipping her into the ropes and hitting a shoulderblock. Molly hits some fast arm drags and a dropkick for 2. Trish fights back with some clotheslines and a vertical suplex for 2. Then a proper spinebuster for 2. Trish keeps up the attack and drops some elbows. Trish keeps going for the cover, with 2 count after 2 count. Molly fights back with aerial stuff to regain control. The crowd is DEEPLY into this match. Molly goes for a clothesline but Trish does the Matrish move, but Molly clips her knee. Molly works over the legs with submission stuff. Finally, Molly hits the Molly-Go-Round for the pin to retain at 12:00.
LG: "Here is your winner, and still JWL Women's Champion, MOLLY HOLLY!"
Trish struggles to get to her feet and is limping to get out of the ring. Molly stops her...
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AND RAISES TRISH'S HAND! The crowd gives both women a standing ovation! Molly and Trish take their bows and leave.
(Video package covering the Bret-Benoit Owen Hart Tribute Match as well as the Bret/Nowinski-Benoit/Malenko tag match from Episode 44 where Bret pinned Benoit with a handful of tights.)
JWL World Heavyweight Title: "The Crippler" Chris Benoit (c) vs. Bret "The Hitman" Hart
LG: "The following contest is our main event. It is for the JWL World Heavyweight Championship and is scheduled for one fall with a one-hour time limit."
("Hitman" plays)
LG: "Introducing first, representing High Standards, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 235 lbs., he is a former five-time WWE World Heavyweight Champion, a former two-time WCW World Heavyweight Champion, the Excellence of Execution and the Best There Is the Best There Was and the Best There Ever Will Be, making his JWL PPV debut, BRET 'THE HITMAN' HART!"
Crowd boos.
("The Four Horsemen" by Metallica plays)
Crowd pops huge.
LG: "And his opponent, representing the Four Horsemen, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 220 lbs., he is a former New Japan IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion, a former ECW World Tag Team Champion, a former WCW World Heavyweight Champion, a former WWE RAW Heavyweight Champion and the current JWL World Heavyweight Champion, he is the Rabid Wolverine and the Human Buzzsaw, 'THE CRIPPLER' CHRIS BENOIT!"
"O Canada" plays over the sound system and the crowd stands for it as a show of respect.
Benoit and Bret lockup and we go right into a battle over a headlock and a wristlock. Benoit gets a hiptoss and follows with a knee to the gut and starts in with the chops. Loud ones too. Bret fights back and pushes Benoit into the corner and comes back with some chops of his own. Bret slams Benoit and drops some elbows for 2. Benoit comes back with more vicious chops and a vertical suplex for 2. Then a tilt-a-whirl slam for 2. Bret fights back and hits some NASTY chops and a big backdrop suplex for 2. Bret goes after Benoit's knee in order to lay the ground work for the Sharpshooter. Bret does the sitdown splash on the knee spot, but Benoit moves out of the way on the third try. Benoit gets a schoolboy for 2. The crowd is DEEPLY into this match. Bret goes back to the leg and Benoit keeps fighting back. Benoit hits the snap suplex as JR and Tenay make all the expected references on commentary (Stu Hart, dungeon, Stampede, Owen, Dynamite, Davey Boy, etc.). Benoit looks to the sky, pounds his chest over his heart, and goes for a second snap suplex, turning it into Eddie Guerrero's Three Amigos (rolling vertical suplexes.) This prompts an "Eddie" chant. Bret fights back with a couple of belly-to-belly suplexes and a DDT. That gets 2. Bret gets the backbreaker for 2. Bret follows with the vertical suplex, but Benoit lands on his feet and fires off the Rolling Germans. Bret is in trouble here as Benoit powerbombs him for fun. Benoit does the thumb-across-the-throat sign and goes up for the diving headbutt, which connects. Benoit locks on the Crippler Crossface. Bret hangs in there for a minute or two but finally TAPS OUT at 40:00! Huge pop!
LG: "Here is your winner, and still JWL World Heavyweight Champion, CHRIS BENOIT!"
The crowd gives both guys a standing ovation.
End of show.