Setting: WWF Raw is War, Dallas, TX.
We see D-Lo Brown, still in his stupid turban and robe costume, looking for the APA.
We go to the ring for our first match.
The APA (Faarooq and Bradshaw, w/Jacqueline) vs. Lo-Down (D-Lo Brown and Chaz, w/Tiger Ali Singh)
Lilian Garcia: "The following is a tag-team match scheduled for one fall."
(That worthless load of shit Singh's stupid music plays)
LG: "Making their way to the ring, being accompanied by Tiger Ali Singh, from New Jersey, at a total combined weight of 506 lbs., D-Lo Brown and Chaz, Lo-Down!"
The crowd is apathetic, as Chaz is a dud, Singh totally sucks, and this teaming has just killed D-Lo's heat.
(The APA's music plays)
LG: "Their opponents, making their way to the ring, being led by Jacqueline, at a total combined weight of 560 lbs., from Warner-Robins, GA, Faarooq, and from Roscoe, TX, Bradshaw, The APA!"
Crowd pops huge, chanting "APA! APA!" and "Jackie, Jackie~!"
Before the match, Singh makes some stupid pronouncement and insults Jackie, causing her to demand that the match be turned into a six-person tag match. Singh reluctantly accepts.
The match starts with Bradshaw and Chaz. Bradshaw just beats the shit out of Chaz with ease. Chaz bails and tags in Singh, who Bradshaw beats up some more. Unlike Chaz, who is just lame, Singh is a piece of crap who won't sell anything for Bradshaw. So Bradshaw tags in Faarooq, who blitzes the slug with clotheslines and some hard spinebusters and powerslams. Singh does something vaguely resembling selling, but not in a way that, say, Ric Flair might recognize. Singh bails and demands that D-Lo tag in, but D-Lo won't do it. Desperate, Singh tags in Chaz for more punishment. Faarooq tosses Chaz around some more, then tags in Jackie for even more abuse. Chaz is just getting killed here. Chaz trips up Jackie and PLEADS for D-Lo to tag in and finally he does. D-Lo enters the ring, and attacks Chaz! He rips off the stupid robe to reveal regular pants and his "You Better Recognize!" T-Shirt. D-Lo hits the Sky High powerbomb and Lo-Down frogsplash on Chaz, and puts Jackie on top for the pin, and tells the ref to count it, which he does.
LG: "Here are your winners, the team of The APA and Jacqueline!"
D-Lo then drags Singh into the ring and he, The APA and Jackie all apply a vicious beatdown. D-Lo throws Singh to the floor and hits a running Liger Bomb on the worthless stiff on the floor, and follows with a running splash, and then a Sky High on the floor. D-Lo lays out a verbal badmouth, telling Singh that he sucks and that he and Chaz can go to Hell.
"HE'S HERE!"
As if taking D-Lo's trash talking as instructions, The Undertaker comes out with a casket, dumps Singh and Chaz in, and rolls them away.
D-Lo's own music, "The Real Deal," plays and D-Lo goes back into the ring, climbs up to the top turnbuckle, and does his head-bobbing routine to a HUGE pop. D-Lo gets on the mic and says that he doesn't need those idiots Chaz and Singh and that he's got someone with real talent on his side, and she's on her way out now.
("Independent Woman [Pt. 1]" by Destiny's Child plays)
D-Lo: "Introducing, 'The Total Athlete' Roxy Powers!"
[Author's note: I did not put D-Lo and Roxy together because they are both black. I put them together because D-Lo, both in my booking and in the actual WWF booking, needs someone with real talent.]
The crowd pops, chanting "Roxy Roxy!"
D-Lo, Roxy, The APA and Jackie celebrate in the ring.
("My Time" plays, ruining everyone's mood.)
LG: "Please welcome one of the owners of the World Wrestling Federation, 'The Billion-Dollar Princess' Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley."
Crowd boos.
Steph: "Roxy Powers. You think that you can just come in and become a star just because D-Lo Brown brought you out here? You're going to have to earn your spot in this company. [author: Pot, kettle, black] If you think you're the total athlete, you're going to have to prove it tonight, in this very ring, against [dramatic pause] Tori!"
Mixed reaction, as while a lot of fans think Tori is hot (true), her ringwork has left a lot to be desired.
Roxy: "I accept, but you better tell her to bring a friend, because I know someone else who'd love to get her hands on Tori. And I'm not letting anyone know who until the match."
Steph: "Fine, it'll be a tag team match, with Roxy Powers and a partner of her choosing versus Tori and a partner of her choosing."
("My Time" plays, and Steph leaves.)
Fast forward to the match.
Tori and ??? vs. "The Total Athlete" Roxy Powers and ???
LG: "The following is a women's tag-team match scheduled for one fall."
("The Power" by Snap! plays. She used this music as Terri Power in the LPWA.)
LG: "Making her way to the ring, from Portland, OR, Tori!"
Tori walks out to the entrance way and waits for her partner.
(Trish's music plays)
LG: "Her tag team partner, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, Trish Stratus!"
Big pop for Trish, who is in another of her sexy outfits.
("Independent Woman [Pt. 1]" plays)
LG: "Their opponents, first from San Jose, CA, representing The WOW Revolution, 'The Total Athlete' Roxy Powers!"
Crowd pops big for Roxy.
("Born to Be Wild" plays)
LG: Her tag team partner, from Dublin, GA, she is the leader of Harley's Angels and is also representing The WOW Revolution, Thug!"
Tori sees Thug and has a look of fear on her face.
Jim Ross: "Tori's afraid of Thug, and she has a good reason. In 1992, at the LPWA Super Ladies Showdown PPV, Tori, then Terri Powers, beat Thug, then known as Lady X, for the LPWA belt. I think Thug is looking for revenge."
The WOW Revolution attacks Tori and Trish, who bail immediately. Neither woman looks eager to get in the ring. However, Trish gives Tori some encouragement, and Tori enters the ring to start with Roxy. Roxy hits some basic stuff to start, and Tori responds in kind, as they have a good match, or at least as good as Tori can get these days, for the first few minutes. Roxy gets control and tags in Thug, causing Tori to bail and tags in a very reluctant Trish. (If you thought Trish was nervous during her match with Riot, then you ain't seen nothing yet, as the cliche goes.) Trish slowly enters the ring before getting demolished by Thug. Thug tosses her around, but wants to fight Tori instead. Trish demands that Tori tag in, and she does. Thug absolutely destroys Tori, beating her from pillar to post. (author: I'm sorry, but I love that cliche and had to use it.) She even gives Tori her own superplex finisher at one point, but Tori has the presence of mind to get her foot on the rope. Thug tags in Roxy, as the usual tag formula is reversed, as the faces dominate with quick tags so that a fresh person is always in and the heel gets stuck in the face corner. Trish tries to interfere, but Roxy superkicks her out of the ring. Roxy superkicks Tori and tags in Thug, who hits the chokeslam and the Last Call for the pin.
LG: "Here are your winners, the team of Roxy Powers and Thug!"
After the match, Tori begs for help from Trish, but Trish is doing her best to stay away from Roxy and Thug. However, Charlie Davidson and EZ Ryder run in and toss Trish back in the ring. Another beatdown and stripping job (to bra and tiny thong this time) for Trish, drawing a huge face pop. Thug then debuts The Catchphrase on WWF TV.
EZ Ryder: "And we just made roadkill out of you!"
End of show.
