Setting: WWF Smackdown
Prior to the regular opening, we see the end of the Jungle Grrrl-Steph match from RAW, and Trish's teary, mysterious "It's over, Steph!" proclamation. The show ended with everyone wondering what she meant.
Beginning of show proper.
We start off with a match.
Vince McMahon vs. Haku.
Jim Ross explains that Stephanie made this match as revenge for what Vince did on RAW.
LG: "The following match is scheduled for one fall."
("No Chance in Hell" plays)
LG: "Introducing first, from Greenwich, CT, weighing in at 220 lbs., he is the chairman and one of the owners of The World Wrestling Federation, MR. MCMAHON!"
"Asshole" chant starts before Vince has even done anything.
LG: "His opponent, from the Kingdom of Tonga, weighing in at 295 lbs., HAKU!"
Crowd pops, and many people are doing the sign of the Tongan Death Grip.
Haku attacks Vince before the bell and beats him up at will. Even though Steph put this match together, Haku is crazy over as a face. Vince tries some punches, but Haku sells nothing, even for the boss. More abuse by Haku leads to the Kick of Fear and the Tongan Death Grip for the easy submission.
LG: "Here is your winner, Haku!"
Post-match, Vince rubs his throat and does a stretcher job to fully sell the beating.
[Author's note: So this match has nothing to do with the WOW Revolution. So what? This is my idea and this was just a match I'd want to see anyway. I also like the idea of Vince opening the show by jobbing rather than by giving a 20-minute interview.]
We cut to Commissioner William Regal's office. Jonathan Coachman enters and asks Regal if he has seen Trish.
Regal: "Listen, you dirty rotten toerag, I haven't seen that buxom wench since RAW. Why would you assume I would know where she was?"
Coachman (nervous): "I'm sorry, it's just that you two were briefly associated with each other."
Regal (perturbed): "Well, we're not anymore. Please leave now."
Coachman leaves before Tajiri can spray green mist in his face.
WOW World Tag Team Title Match: Caged Heat (c) vs. Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson
Jim Ross explains that Steph is in a bad mood from RAW and is taking it out on anyone she can find. As a result, Stacy and Torrie have to face Caged Heat.LG: "The following match is for the WOW World Tag Team Title and is scheduled for one fall."
("Legs" by ZZ Top plays)
LG: "Introducing first, the challengers. First, from Baltimore, MD, STACY KEIBLER! And her partner, from Los Angeles, CA, TORRIE WILSON!"
Same as last time. Crowd pops for the sexy outfits, and they have looks of fear on their faces.
Torrie and Stacy enter the ring and talk strategy, before nine simple words strike fear into their hearts.
LG: "Their opponents, representing The WOW Revolution, they are the WOW World Tag Team Champions, from the Nevada State Correctional Facility, Loca and Delta Lotta Pain, Caged Heat!"
The champs charge the ring as their opponents bail. Loca and DLP take the mic.
LOCA: "Whazzup!!"
DLP: "Whazzup!!"
Loca: "Hey, Delta! What time is it?"
DLP: "It's Hard Time!"
Loca: "That's right. Caged Heat is about to lay a beatdown on somebody!"
Torrie and Loca start, and it's a slaughter. The match serves the purposes of getting Caged Heat over and exposing how unfit the valets are for regular in-ring competition. The champs basically hand the heels' attractive asses to them with glee. The crowd is getting into this big time. Stacy gets dumped, and Caged Heat hit Hard Time (bearhug/top rope clothesline) on Torrie for the easy pin.
LG: "Here are your winners, and still WOW World Tag Team Champions, Caged Heat!"
After the match, Loca and DLP drag Stacy back in and strip both women down to bras and thongs. The champs collect their belts and the heels' clothes, celebrate their win, and leave. Refs cover up the beaten valets and drag them to the back.
Kevin Kelly finds Kurt Angle, and asks him if he has seen Trish.
Kurt: "I have not seen Trish since RAW. I'm as much in the dark about what she meant by 'It's over, Steph' as anyone else is. I just don't know where she is, and that is true."
Sometime later in the show, Jonathan Coachman finds Steph, and asks her if she has seen Trish.
Steph: "I don't know what you are trying to insinuate, but I have not seen her since Monday. I have nothing to say to you."
End of show.