Cat, Connor and Dee had slowly explained a lot of things to me, and finally I began to understand what was going on. At least I understood the main parts. I learned that I was now AJ McLean's guardian angel. Oh boy...
This must be some kinda dream. Probably I'm still dying and my brain is spitting out its last crazy vibes?! Yeah right, this must be some kinda joke.
But then again... Before I had taken the sleeping pills I had of course thought about what could possibly be awaiting me. I had wondered if - no, HOPED there was life after death, and imagined what it could be like. But never had I imagined becoming a guardian angel, especially not the one of a Backstreet Boy!
Dee had explained to me that I couldn't leave AJ's side farther than 15 feet, except when he was still in my view. That's why some unknown force had pulled me out of AJ's hotel room earlier. Unknown force? What exactly was it that brought me here and why? Do we all become angels when we die? There were so many questions floating in my head. So many. I couldn't even start to pick just one and ask it. I guess the answers will come to me one by one.
Suddenly Renae, who had been quiet the whole time, stood up and with frustration stated: "This guy is driving me insane!" Only a minute later Kevin asked AJ if he was ready for their work-out and the two Backstreet Boys got up and left. Renae looked at me and motioned for me to follow: "Come on, time to start work!"
I looked at the others puzzled and a little uneasy. I had no idea what I was supposed to do.
"Just go with Renae, she'll explain whatever you need to know right now", Dee said.
So I got up, walking out of the room behind AJ, while Renae was already ahead of Kevin and AJ, on the way to the elevators. I stepped into one of the three elevators with all of them, not daring to ask Renae a single question. It wasn't really that Renae freaked me out, she just seemed to want to be left alone. She seemed concentrated and frustrated at the same time.
When Kevin and AJ started working out, the two of us - us "angels" - just sat there watching them. Renae didn't speak up once and I figured it would be best to leave her alone, so I started listening to Kevin's and AJ's conversation. I found out that I was in Germany now, in Cologne to be exact and that - what I had known before - the Backstreet Boys were currently touring Europe.
"Hey", Renae suddenly spoke up, in a soft tone of voice even.
"It speaks", I thought sarcastically, and the next second already wondered again what I was doing here. Weren't angels supposed to be nice and lovely? How come then that I still felt like bitter-old-sarcastic-me? I made up my mind that something must've gone wrong here. I didn't belong here, this was some heavenly mistake - or one from hell, however you want to look at it. I couldn't be a guardian angel. Damn, I hadn't even been able to save myself, how was I supposed to save someone else?
When I stayed silent, lost in my thoughts, Renae continued: "I'm sorry if I'm such an ass right now." Ok, so even angels cuss. "It's just that Kev here has pretty much on his mind at the moment and I'm forced to listen to his bull-shit 24/7. It just gets on my nerves still, I'm not used to this power yet."
"That's ok", I replied with a smile. I didn't mind being left alone really, since I was still pretty confused. But she got my attention there. "What power?" I asked.
"I can read Kev's mind now. It started only three days ago and I don't know yet how to shut him out. So I kinda have TWO voices in my head now - his and my own!" Renae sighed.
"When di..." I stopped talking as a feeling of nauseousness washed over me. I put my hand on my stomach, wondering if dead people, ghosts, angels or whatever I was now, could throw up, because that's what it felt like.
"What?" Renae asked me. She seemed alarmed.
"I feel...sick, or...I don't know", I answered, as the feeling not really changed, but at the same time was replaced by something else. Something I couldn't explain. "AJ", I whispered, looking up at him. All of a sudden I realized that I was jumping up and rushing to his side. I did it even before I thought about it.
"GET UP!" Renae commanded at the same time, jumping up herself, but at that time I was already grabbing the weights AJ was lifting above his head. Bewildered I realized that they were as "heavy" as a pencil for me. I had grabbed the weights just in that moment that AJ's sweaty fingers lost their grip on them, helping him to keep them up before they would slam down onto his chest or his throat. I could feel a slightly panicked feeling - coming from him though, not from me. I guessed he had realized what would've almost happened, because in the next moment he quickly put the weights away.
He sat up: "Whoa!"
"What's up?" Kevin asked, as I just stood there, stunned at what I had just done. Feeling even more confused because of what I had felt. That hadn't been me, but it hadn't been only AJ's feelings either. Guess I had had a kind of encounter with my maker... An encounter with something we call God. I shivered inside, as warmth spread through me.
"I almost lost the weights", AJ muttered. He hung his towel around his neck, saying: "I've had enough for today!" Kevin just laughed a little, and AJ stood up and was about to leave.
"That was good, you reacted quickly", Renae said, looking at me.
"How did I...how did I know?" I asked astonished.
"You're his guardian angel - who else would know if not you?" Renae smiled.
I just nodded, what she had said even appearing kinda logical to me, and followed AJ. I had no other choice anyway, did I?!
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