While still looking at AJ and being lost in my thoughts, I was pulled out of my trance when I realized someone was waving at me from the other side of the room. I made a stupid face and looked around, who that person was really waving to because it couldn't be me, right? But then the man laughed and once again waved. Deandra leaned over to me and smiled: "Don't you wanna wave back?"
I'm sure I looked so ridiculous, when I waved back with that clueless expression still on my face. It took me a few seconds to realize that the man was a guardian angel as well. "Who is that?" I asked.
"That's Jerald, he's Marcus' angel. Marcus is one of the Boys' bodyguards", Renae explained.
I turned back to Jerald and this time grinned at him sheepishly. I gave him a short wave again and he nodded and grinned back. Figures that a bodyguard would need a guardian angel, too, I thought amused. I wanted to ask how many other angels were "on tour with us", when suddenly everyone at the table except Deandra got up. "Where are you going?" I asked bewildered.
"Playing golf", came the chorused reply. And there it was again: my stupid face and a lot of laughter from the others.
"The Boys were just talking about it and decided to leave now", Deandra told me. "Howie is meeting a friend though, he's not going."
"Well, that's just great that I'm the only one who can't read anyone's mind", I sighed. "I'm the odd one out here." Standing up I asked: "Am I going, either?"
"Yep", Connor smiled. "AJ wouldn't miss an opportunity to play some golf. Except if he could play with some chick!"
Connor started cracking up, while Catherine slapped his shoulder. "Connor, shut up!" Renae instead snorted and high-fived him, while Deandra just suggested to me to ignore them.
"Have fun", she added. "Try to get to know the Boys a little. They're really cool to hang with, even though they can be pretty difficult at times. Oh and...I'm sure you'll get to know Howie better soon, too. He and AJ hang out a lot together."
"I'm sure I will", I smiled. I turned to the rest of the bunch and we noticed the Boys were getting ready to leave. We all followed our respective Backstreet Boy up to his room, where they got ready, before we met again in the underground car park.
"Ok, so...how do we all fit into the vans?" I asked. "Am I supposed to sit on AJ's lap, or what?"
Catherine chuckled. "To be honest...I do that!" I laughed. She continued: "Last time I sat on Kevin, so it's Nick's turn this time."
Renae shook her head at Catherine amused. Then she turned to me: "There are a couple of ways to drive around with them. Of course there are no problems when they are in the bus. So when they drive around in cars or vans you can... well, sit on their laps, sit on the floor - you can do that in limousines -, sit on the top of the car or-"
"What?" I interrupted.
"Oh, that's fun. I mean, it's not thrilling or anything because you know that nothing can happen to you. You can't be more than dead. And though you don't even feel the wind it's still funny. There's still the speed, you know. You wanna try it with me?"
"Yeah!" I exclaimed with wide eyes. While the Boys, Catherine and Connor got into the van, Renae and I easily climbed up on it.
"See you later", Catherine called smiling.
"You'll enjoy that", Connor told me, before the doors were closed.
Renae laughed at me, as I was sitting there, awaiting the ride. Let me tell you, the first time you do it it's much more exciting than roller coasters are. But I don't mean the ride itself, I mean the anticipation of it. It really was fun, just like Renae had told me. We drove fast, but slow enough to take in the surroundings. We passed cows, green and yellow fields and Renae and I laughed a lot. It was the first time that I was totally enjoying myself. And I don't mean the first time since I died. To be honest, I can't remember ever having been as carefree before. In my life there have always been shadows above me, deep down there had always been sadness. And no one to share anything with. It wasn't like I had been an outsider. But opening up to people had been as good as impossible, that's probably why my life had ended the way it had.
But I left all that behind. I was determined to use this second chance, even though I didn't know why I had deserved it. But finally I had friends, I had people to share my thoughts with and even my laughter. But most importantly I knew this time my being had a meaning. So far I had no clue why AJ would need me or what I was destined to do, but just the knowledge that I counted for something lifted my spirits immensely.
We arrived at the golf course soon and I jumped off the car still laughing. It was only the first day of my new life and I already enjoyed it muchly. I joked around with Catherine, while we followed the Boys. We had to separate again soon, when the guys split up to play. Kevin and Brian "teamed up", which left AJ and Nick to wander around the golf course together - and Connor with me.
My question that had been left unasked popped back into my head. "Connor?"
"Hm?"
"How many more guards" - I remembered that he preferred to call us 'guards' instead of 'angels' - "will I get to meet? I mean, how many are steadily around us, on tour with the guys?"
Connor thought about it for a moment, before he replied: "Ok, there's Derek and Jerald, who you've met. Then there's Monique. She's Dave's, the road manager's, guard. Then only two more. First one is Danny, who's another dancer's guard, I think his name is Troy. And next week you'll meet Nikola. She'll be with us when Howie's girlfriend arrives to join us on tour for a while."
"Oh, cool. What's her name?"
"Everyone here just calls her Georgie. Her name is...well, it's spelled like Georgia, but it's pronounced funnily. That's 'cause she's from Greece. Nikola was her best friend. She died when the two had a car accident together."
"Like Cat, huh?! That's hard. At least Nikola could stay with her friend, and not got to take care of some stranger. Or do you think it's worse being the angel - sorry, guard - of someone you love."
Connor shrugged. "To be honest, I'm not sure. I missed my family and friends for a long time, I still do somehow. But now it's like with this new kind of life I got a new kind of family and you're all dear to me now, too." He smiled at me. "I don't know if it wouldn't be too tough to handle, if I was still around my family, but I couldn't let them know I'm there. Or that I'm fine, at least as alright as can be. On the other hand I could make sure that nothing happens to them and maybe even help them cope with losing me." He sighed. "I think, for me it's best this way. I'm hoping that someone else is taking good care of my family instead. And my friends." He turned back to me: "Why don't you ask Nikola about it? She's cool and she likes to talk." Connor laughed. "I never talked to her about this though. All I know is, the hardest about it for her is knowing that Georgie blames herself for Nikola's death. She was driving the car. But the accident wasn't her fault."
"I can imagine it's hard for both. I mean...how would you feel if you were in an accident and your best friend dies and you live. You think it's not fair and constantly wonder why it was your friend and not you."
"Yeah. But for Georgie changed a lot after the accident, too. She's still alive and surely thankful for that, but she not only lost her best friend, she also lost her sight."
"When did all that happen?"
"About two and a half years ago. She doesn't even know what Howie looks like. Even though the Backstreet Boys were popular in Europe before, but she's more into other music."
"What a pity", I said sadly. "I'm sure she knows that Howie is beautiful anyway."
Connor snorted suddenly. "You girls!" he laughed. "You know, guys don't really like to be called beautiful or" - he put on a high-pitched voice - "cute and gorgeous and soooo sweet!"
I started laughing as well. "'Beautiful' isn't in the same category with those other three", I protested. "Cute and sweet is girlie-talk, but beautiful IS a compliment."
"Whatever", Connor grinned and I bumped him with my elbow. He began laughing again, before he made a face and sarcastically commented: "Ouch!"
I hit my forehead and laughed, too. I knew that stuff like that didn't hurt us anymore. "It wasn't meant to really hurt anyway!" I grinned. After we calmed down, I noticed: "With this huge crowd of people, who are on tour with the guys, it surprises me that there are just so few guards."
"Not everyone who dies becomes a guard", Connor said. "We've never seen very young or very old people as guards. I think the youngest I ever met was David, he was twelve. I don't know why I was chosen to be one or what the conditions are. It just so happens, maybe."
I sighed. "I guess we'll never have the answers to all the questions, huh?!"
"What was first? The egg or the chicken?"
At Connor's funny face I started laughing again and we got off the serious topics for a while. Instead Connor showed me what a guardian's angel idea of fun can be: starting up a conversation with two Backstreet Boys, who can't even hear you! While AJ and Nick were talking, we simply commented on the stuff they were chatting about and pretended to be part of their private talk. Let me tell you, it can be dead funny to hear AJ's responses to a question he never knew you asked...
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