She sat on her bed, in her room, the lights dimmed. For the first time in her life she wasn't thinking anything. Everything was silent - the house, the room, the voice in her head.
Without hesitation she let the handful of pills pour into her mouth, gulping them down with champagne. She laid back onto the rose pedals she had spread onto her bed and put on her headphones. Soft guitar chords started playing and a sweet voice began singing...
Here we are, in the arms of one another
And we still go on searching for each other
Knowing that hate is wrong
And love is right
For us tonight
When I look into your Spanish eyes
She closed her eyes, listening to her favorite band, the Backstreet Boys, singing their beautiful ballad "Spanish Eyes". This was it - this was the way she wanted to die. The music of the band had always been with her, through all the good, but most of all through all the bad. It had been her only peace in life, the only beautiful thing she had ever known.
Today she had decided to leave this world behind. Since she had been 14 years old she had thought about which would be the best way to die. She came to the conclusion that it had to be..."nice" was the wrong word. It had to be soft. It shouldn't hurt and it should be like traveling. So she had bought a package of sleeping pills today, a bouquet of roses and a bottle of champagne. Her parents were gone for the weekend, so she had been sure no one would interrupt her plan.
Today she was 19 years, 125 days and 20 hours old - and she had decided she wanted no more...
I loved you from a distance
Thought I couldn't reach that far
I can't believe how close that we are
When I look into your Spanish eyes
And the world is so beautiful tonight
AJ McLean's voice was the last thing she heard, until - finally and forever - everything around her went silent and black...
Or so she thought...
Back to Angels index
On to chapter 1
Back to Main Page