Molly had laid down on Mandy's bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to the rest of the interview. After the a capella performance the DJ announced that the fans could call in now and ask the boys a question.
The first girl asked about the video that was shot for "I Want It That Way" and Kevin explained a little something about it: who the director was, that there wasn't really a story to the video, but that it was just the boys, singing and also dancing a bit, and that for the end they had shot a scene with fans in a hangar.
The second girl started by telling the boys how much she loved them and asked when they would tour the States again. AJ answered that no dates were settled yet, but that they would most likely tour in late fall. Molly closed her eyes, as AJ started talking, his voice vibrating in every inch of her body. She drifted off into her thoughts again, wondering why he had told her all the stuff he had said, and all the compliments. She began doubting herself, that probably she had just interpreted too much into it and that she was the only one feeling the heat between them. "Damn", she thought, "he kissed you! KISSED you! How wrong can you interpret that, huh?!" She wondered why he hadn't asked her to stay all night, if all he wanted was a little fun...
The fourth caller suddenly got Molly's attention again: "Hey guys! I'm a big fan of yours and I wanted to thank you for last night! I met you in the lobby of your hotel and it was a dream come true and you guys were so nice and..." She rambled on about how wonderful they had been to her and the rest of the fans, until she asked: "But is it really true that you guys don't have girlfriends? 'Cause you were there with a bunch of girls and...well..."
You could hear the guys chuckle and the DJ said: "Ooooh!"
Brian laughed: "It's true! It's true that we don't have girlfriends, well except Frack here who doesn't know" - the guys laughed out loud as Brian teased Nick - "and it's true that those girls were with us. But that was one of my best friends, Molly, with her bunch of friends! By the way: if you're listening - hi girls!"
Molly couldn't help but smile as she heard what Brian said. She was so confused and so touched by his words, she almost started crying. Before that she had also doubted Brian for a minute, but she knew deep within her that she could trust him. Molly decided to do what Mandy told her: she had to talk to him!
Only a couple of minutes after the interview was over, there was a knock on the door. "Come in", Mandy said.
A girl their age popped her head in and greeted them all with "Hi!".
"Hi Nicole!" Mandy said.
"I just wanted to ask you", the girl said, looking at Mandy, "if you already got the book for our class tomorrow? I'm on my way to the library to get it and I thought I'd ask you if you wanna go with me?!"
Mandy looked at Araysa and Molly: "Shit, I totally forgot that." She smiled at Nicole: "Yeah, I'll come with you!" She got up and headed for the door. "It won't take long", she told Molly and Araysa, before she left.
When Mandy was gone, only the song playing on the radio could be heard. Molly still lay on Mandy's bed, while Araysa sat Indian-style on the floor on the other side of the room. Both hung on to their thoughts for quite a while.
"Molls?" Araysa suddenly quit the silence.
Molly turned her head, so she could look at her: "Yeah?"
"How...how was it when you were alone with AJ?" Araysa looked like she was concentrating on something, and Molly knew she wanted to say more. "I mean, how did you feel? I know what happened, but...how did you FEEL?"
Molly looked up at the ceiling again, sighing. "How did I feel? I was just about to ask myself the same question." She thought about it for a minute. Even after this radio interview, thinking of AJ made her melt inside, made her feel so excited. Why couldn't she just hate him? Why couldn't she be angry at him? It would make things much easier. "I don't think I ever felt like this around anyone. I know it sounds like a stupid phrase, but it's true. I guess, I felt a little confused. It's so weird, the effect that he has on me. I mean, you know that I'm shy around guys and that it takes me a while to open up to someone. But everything is so easy around him." She half sat up, leaning on her arm and looked at Araysa: "I was scared."
"What do you mean?"
"I was afraid of what he could make me do and feel. While we were alone up in his room, my body was practically screaming for him to just push me down on that bed and take me right then and there, while my mind was screaming a loud "No way"! And my heart...my heart was screaming with both excitement and fear." Molly looked Araysa straight in the eye as she stated: "I don't want to fall in love." Araysa remained silent. "This won't work out, I mean...geez, this is no super-duper fan-fic story. This could all be just a joke to him, a little flirt on the side. And even if he was serious, how should this work? A long-distance relationship is hard enough if you live in the same country. Living on different continents makes things almost impossible." She sighed again. "I don't think I could handle letting this be any more serious than a flirt. I couldn't take the end in just a few days..."
"I know what you feel", Araysa said. "That's exactly what was going through my head all night and all day. And now I'm afraid that it's already to late to tell myself not to fall in love. How do you stop feelings anyway?"
"Yeah...falling in love is exactly that: falling! You can't help it."
"Hey, that was smart", Araysa smiled sadly.
"Thanks, but that wasn't made up by my freaky brain. I read that somewhere some time ago and thought it was one of the most truthful phrases I've ever heard." She returned Araysa's smile: "I'm afraid it's already too late for me, too!"
~~~~~
Mandy walked to the library with Nicole. Nicole was telling her something about her work today, but Mandy hardly listened. Her thoughts had once again wandered off to Brian.
Some people had already told her - jokingly or not - that she was obsessed with him. And probably they were right in some way. But to Mandy it was more than that. She loved him. It sounded crazy, but it was the truth. She was often asked, how she could love a person she never met or hardly knew. But how come when some girl says she fell in love with a guy she works with, but they never say more to each other than "Hello" and "Good-bye", still everyone believes her that she loves this guy?! Wasn't Mandy's love more realistic compared to that? She knew so much about Brian, so much. The only difference was that he hadn't known her.
"But he does now!" it suddenly struck Mandy triumphantly. "Since 24 hours he does know you!" And again that bitter-sweet feeling bubbled up inside of her, that she had felt when she was with Brian, but she still couldn't just tell him how she felt about him. 'I love you' was the last thing she could tell him anyway. How often had he already heard those words - from fans or girls that didn't mean it?! Did those three words mean anything to him anymore?
Suddenly Mandy realized that Nicole didn't talk anymore, but just stared at her. She looked like she tried to read in Mandy's face, but right now only slight confusion and embarrassment were expressed on it. Embarrassment because she obviously hadn't listened to Nicole at all.
But that's how it usually was when Mandy thought about Brian. Everything else was pushed into the background, only he was important. And suddenly Mandy asked herself, why he hadn't realized all this, when he had met her. She felt that it was so obvious that anyone must realize it! Or had he already got used to looks that followed him anywhere that he didn't sense hers?
"But I'm not just anyone who stares at him as the star that he is! That's not the way I look at him... Why doesn't he see it?!"
It seemed that her feelings for him were NOT written all over her face...
To Mandy's surprise Nicole asked concerned: "Mandy, are you alright? You're not sick, are you?"
Mandy just shook her head and forced a weak smile, because she really wanted to cry. She felt so desperate in that moment that she was sure she would never meet Brian Littrell again! But that was far from wrong...
Back to chapter 13, part I
On to chapter 14
Back to Close... index