Chapter 30:
Before anyone spoke a word, Mandy, AJ and Molly quickly left the room. Araysa and Nick sure didn't need listeners through this. Conveniently though the three of them escaped into the garden, where they could at least watch what was going on. They were prepared to jump in between, if necessary.
Inside the house, Araysa swallowed hard and forced a weak "Hi". Nick hadn't moved further into the room, keeping a distance to her. But it wasn't the physical distance that was killing Araysa.
Nick ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I don't even know where to start." He looked up into Araysa's eyes. "You gotta believe me that I'm sorry, I...I was outta my mind. I don't know what I was thinking."
Araysa was close to starting to cry again, when she saw the glistening in Nick's eyes. She tried her best to remain calm though. AJ had told her some of what had happened, but she still wasn't sure what to expect of Nick now. And more than anything she was hurt. But her pride forbid her to show Nick how much she was actually hurting. "How about you start at the beginning?!" she suggested. "I really wanna understand this. I really wanna try."
Nick walked a few feet towards her, causing Araysa to flinch unnoticeable. "I came to pick you up this afternoon, Caroline opened for me, so you didn't know I was there. I heard you girls were talking about me - at least I thought it was about me. I thought...I was so hurt when I heard you say you wanted to leave me, and how you were making fun of that."
The first tear slipped from Araysa's eye. How could he ever think she'd say anything like that about him? Didn't he know how in love she was?
"I couldn't think straight", Nick continued. "And then there was Sarah. She told me you girls had some secrets and she wanted to tell me all about it. So we drove away. She talked about this boyfriend you had back in Winona, and that you were just using me." Araysa was crying heavily, but silently by now. "That you just wanted to be able to say you screwed a Backstreet Boy and...I don't need to repeat everything. It was a load of bullshit, I know that now. But what was I supposed to believe?"
Araysa stared at him in disbelief. "What? Nick, you were supposed to believe me. To believe IN me. What the hell is this for you? Us! What do 'we' mean to you?"
He closed the gap between them, standing right before her now. "Please understand... After everything I heard you say, it...it all seemed to make sense."
Araysa looked like he had slapped her. "It made sense?" she whispered. "It made sense to you that I'm a cold bitch who goes around screwing any guy she can get?"
"Araysa, no!" Nick tried, but she hardly listened.
"It made sense that I've been lying to you all this time, that I was playing games with you? It made sense to think of me as such a person, someone who just uses others?" She shook her head, wiping her tears. "That made sense, Nick!? Well, then maybe I'm just realizing that you and me don't make any sense at all!"
"Araysa, I didn't mean it like that." By now Nick couldn't hold in the tears anymore, either. "I was just confused. And...I was insecure. That's...me, ok? I am insecure."
"Don't you think I am insecure as well?" she said, raising her voice. "I don't trust many people, Nick, but I did trust you. When I slept with you, what...what were you thinking? That I just did it 'cause I was in the mood? Nick - that was me telling you I trust you with all that I have, all that I am. That was me opening myself up to you completely. What was it for you? The fuck of the week?"
This time it was Nick, who felt steel slice his heart. "God, no. You mean so much to me, and all that we have. But being who I am and doing what I do, I never know who I can trust. And-"
"What made you trust Sarah?" Araysa suddenly asked.
He took her hands in his. "I was wishing she was lying all the time. The only reason she could convince me is...only the people you care about most, the people you love most, are the ones that can hurt you. In this case, with the way things seemed to me, I let you hurt me. And that just drove me crazy." He wiped away another tear that ran down Araysa's cheek. "I'm truly sorry. I know I shouldn't have doubted you. Please forgive me."
She turned away from him, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down. "Nick, maybe-" She sighed.
He was right by her side again. "No! No, please don't say you're leaving me. I'd do anyth-"
She held up a hand to silence him. "That's not what I was about to say." She forced a smile. "I wouldn't know how to let you go anyway." She let Nick caress her cheek, but continued. "This whole incident made something clear, Nick. The only reason why this could happen is because we don't know each other enough yet. It shows me that we were rushing into this with such speed that we couldn't keep up with it anymore. There's not enough trust yet, no foundation that we have. So...from now on, let's take it slow, ok?"
He nodded relieved and took her into his arms, her smaller frame melting into his. She pressed her face to his chest, letting the last tears flow. After a few moments she carefully pulled away, looked into his eyes and then finally stood on her tiptoes, so she could kiss Nick. Of course for a moment the picture of him kissing Sarah flashed up in her mind and that hurt. But more than anything she wanted to erase Sarah from his lips, and that's what she did.
"I thought we were gonna take it slow", Nick said, when they stopped.
Araysa smiled, happier already. "Just because we have a lot of talking to do, doesn't mean we can't do anything else."
"I like your way of thinking" he smiled back and leaned in for another kiss.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Thank God", Mandy muttered, as she watched the couple inside kiss.
Molly let out a sigh and AJ gently squeezed her hand that he was holding. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment, before she leaned against him, her head on his shoulder. AJ wrapped his free arm around her and pulled her close, while he smiled at Mandy over Molly's head.
"When do you think we can get in again?" he asked with a smirk.
Molly groaned. "Please don't tell me you're hungry!"
AJ laughed. "Now that you mention it..."
She sat up straight again. "We should get going anyway. I don't need any dead bodies here. The sooner Sarah's out of the house, the better."
"I so can't believe what she did", Mandy said, not the first time this evening. "I mean, I know she was jealous of Race and all that, but I never thought she'd go this far."
"What makes it worse is that she didn't even keep us out of it. If Brian had believed Nick..." Molly didn't even want to finish that sentence. Losing Brian once had been hard enough, she never wanted to risk his friendship again.
"As long as I would have believed you..." AJ smiled.
Molly looked at him. "Honestly, Alex - would you have believed me, an almost stranger, instead of the guys who are as close to you as brothers? Leave the fact that you're horny out of it!" She smirked at her last comment.
"C'mere", AJ grinned and pulled her to him for a kiss. He turned serious then. "Honestly? I couldn't tell you. I have no reason not to trust you, but you have a point there: I know for a fact that I can trust these guys with my life. Now...I would have tried to find out for myself though and create my own picture on what happened. Sooner or later Nick would have come to his senses as well. Luckily we were there to help him."
"Thanks for trusting me", Molly whispered smiling.
AJ smiled back. "You're welcome."
Beside them Mandy watched with a heavy heart...
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