The Way You Said Hello ~ Chapter Seventeen

"…And so, I was just wondering how this all happened?" AJ gave me a pleading look over the table. The candlelight flickered unsteadily, casting mysterious shadows that I found strangely romantic. Muffled sounds of laughter and music floated around the room, interspersed with staccato dashes of forks and knives clanging against china. The restaurant was full of happy people, and the mood was contagious.

Before taking the time to answer this loaded question, I quietly remembered how we had gotten here, to this place. Of course, I had called him this morning after receiving a very important piece of information from Nick. I was scared and unwilling to lose him, and I tried to tell him…but no - he had to take me out to dinner. And not just any dinner, but to the nicest restaurant in Tampa - no, in Florida, probably.

I was nervous getting ready and waiting for him to pick me up. It was a different kind of nervous than I was used to, because this time I really had some work to do.

He showed up at my house looking totally different than I had ever seen him before. When I swung open the front door, I did a double take. "Who are you, and what have you done with AJ McLean?" I had asked jokingly, but I was genuinely surprised. With his wild hair tamed slightly for once, he looked more serious, more charming…and though he almost looked out of place in a nice suit, it fit him like it had been made for him. Then I realized it probably had been.

And no sunglasses in sight - oh no, AJ was giving me the puppy dog eyes treatment tonight, and it was sure as hell working.

I imagined how I must have looked to him - draped in a black silk dress that fell to mid-thigh, held up by tiny spaghetti straps, a delicate silver choker curled around my neck. My dark brown hair was swept up in a messy twist, with a few strands hanging loose. I'm sure my cheeks were flushed with anxiety, but AJ didn't seem to notice as I linked my arm through his and followed him to the car.

All evening he acted the complete gentleman. Even though none of what had happened was his fault, he seemed as though HE were the one begging for forgiveness - like a little boy asking his mother not to punish him after he's done something naughty.

So here we were, dining in this fabulous restaurant on fresh salad and escargots, about to discuss my lapse in judgment the previous night. Butterflies did acrobatics in my stomach as I took a quick swallow of Evian and licked my lips determinedly.

"I'm not quite sure," I started hesitantly. "I just heard you say those things on the phone, and I jumped to conclusions…I'm so sorry."

"No, no!" AJ reached across the table and placed his hand on my arm. "I should have told you about Eva. That's my cousin. I should have said something…"

"How can you say that?" I asked him incredulously. "You did nothing wrong, AJ. The whole thing stemmed from my own insecurity." I paused for breath. "I'm just too afraid to believe. Too afraid to trust, I think. Something in my subconscious keeps telling me to run, so I don't get too committed. That's why when I heard you say that, I made that ridiculous assumption."

AJ's eyes grew deep and heavy. His voice caught as he said slowly, "You don't have to be afraid to trust me." He gave my arm a squeeze and went back to his filet mignon.

I thought to myself that I was afraid of something even more than trust: I was reluctant to fall in love with him, but it was happening, and it scared the hell out of me.

"I know," I said, my hands twisting the napkin I held low in my lap. "It's just so hard…I know you understand. I just want to fix things for now, you know? I feel so awful. You mean so much to me, AJ."

AJ threw his hands up in the air. "Let's just forget this whole thing!" he said emphatically. "It was a mistake on both of our parts. I mean, I still think it was mostly my fault - I mean, I should have warned you first -"

As I sat across the table from this man, listening to him plead forgiveness for something that was my fault totally and completely, my heart opened up and begged for me to swallow him whole. After my error last night, I was still trying to be cautious, but I yearned for more. My brain protested: What if something like that actually did happen? If he cheated on me? I'd never be able to trust anyone again.

I was treading water in a sea of murky confusion. But the buoyancy of my waves of determination could keep me afloat. I was beginning to make progress…to reach my long arms forward and slice through this sea of passion like a shark hungry for prey. I desperately wanted to be that predator, and even more, I wanted to be that prey. I wanted to consume and be consumed…I wanted to feel passion and desire and most of all I wanted to feel love.

"AJ," I interrupted him abruptly. "Shut up." And right there, in the middle of the crowded restaurant, I leaned over the table and kissed him full on the mouth. It was actually very erotic, but it had so many meanings…It meant, 'Don't worry. I'm here and I'll be here…and most of all, I love you and I want you.' Every second of that kiss was a feeling I was still too afraid to put into words, but when I pulled back, breathless, and looked into his stunned eyes, I knew he got the message.

He turned to the waiter, who was standing beside the table gaping at us. "Check please," he said, grinning. He turned to me and said softly, "Let's go back to my place. We need to make up for lost time."

"Alexander James," I laughed, "we've been apart for less than twenty-four hours."

"And it's still been too long!" he laughed right along with me. His eyes twinkled with euphoria, and I felt almost elated. He wasn't mad at me…he wasn't going to end what we had…I wasn't going to lose him after all. I was lucky this time.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I asked impatiently as AJ got the bill. I jumped from my chair and snatched my purse from the floor, where I had discarded it.

"Nothing at all, my lady."

With that, we made our exit from the restaurant. I shivered as we waited outside at the valet booth, and AJ chivalrously offered me his jacket.

"No, thanks," I said, smiling. "I'm not cold."

"But you shivered," he said worriedly, his brow wrinkling.

"That had nothing to do with cold," I said huskily.

AJ's mouth slowly curled up into a smirk. Before he had a chance to reply, however, the valet appeared with the car, and we climbed inside. AJ was right, I thought. We did need to make up for lost time. I couldn't say for sure what would happen tonight, but I knew that at least it would be better than the night before. And I had a growing suspicion that whatever AJ had planned would be fun and unforgettable - rather like him. I smiled again as we headed to Orlando together for the first time.

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Continue to chapter nineteen

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