The Way You Said Hello ~ Chapter Twenty-Nine

I was dying to find out what was about to occur between Brian and Eilene, but I was even more curious as to what Eva had up her sleeve. I managed to sneak away into the living room without being noticed.

The room was dark, and Eva blended in with the shadows perfectly. I walked up to where she stood, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, as was her custom, across her chest.

I placed a hand on my right hip. Giving her a look that clearly said I wasn't going to take her shit, I said calmly, "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah," she said. I was getting tired of her glaring, but this girl just wouldn't quit. "There's something I should tell you. About AJ."

I sighed. "Really?" I remained highly skeptical about the validity of anything she had to say, but I was here now, so I might as well hear her out.

"You might not wanna hear this, but…" An evil grin appeared on her face. "Last night, he was with another girl." She looked immensely smug, and I had the urge to slap her across the face…luckily, I was able to control myself. I merely returned her glare with equal force.

"Listen, Eva," I returned, my voice rising a notch. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I don't like it very much. AJ was NOT with another girl last night - he was on the phone with me the entire time." I felt anger bubbling up within me, and it was definitely not directed at AJ. I had no doubts about his loyalty to me. This anger was one hundred percent for Eva.

She wavered a moment at this, but continued regardless. "It was after he talked to you, then. I saw him myself…trust me."

"Yeah, Eva," I shot sarcastically. "Sure I'll trust you. I mean, you've shown me how trustworthy you are, haven't you? I'm sure Kevin and Anne would attest to that." And then my voice dropped - quiet and threatening and very, very in control. "I'm not stupid. And I know what you're up to. I'm sure you'd love to get revenge against the human race for all the bad luck you've had, but attacking me and AJ isn't exactly the way to go about it."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she sniffed, but now she couldn't look me in the eye.

I continued, relentless. I had absolutely had it. "Doesn't it bother you that you're trying to screw around with your cousin? He's part of your family! Don't you have any loyalty at all?"

Eva was determined, and nothing I said would affect her, it seemed. All she did was lift her chin even higher and look down her nose at me. She was silent for a moment, but finally spoke, her voice bitter.

"I just want him to be with someone he deserves."

With that, she brushed past me and strode out of the room. I got the feeling that if there had been a door there for her to slam, she would have slammed it. "Ouch," I murmured to myself with dry humor, though inside I was aching a little.

I shook my head sadly to clear my thoughts. My eyes followed Eva to the kitchen, where she pulled AJ aside. Their lips were moving, though I could not hear what they were arguing about. Both of them cast frequent glances at me, but I pretended not to notice. Finally AJ grew so angry that his voice rose to shouting level, and I (along with everyone else in the house) could make out the words.

"This is ridiculous! I'm not gonna put up with your shit any more, Eva! Get out now, and don't even think about going back to my house, because you're not welcome there!" She just stood there with her mouth hanging open, a look of shock on her face. AJ repeated, a bit more forcefully: "I said…get out."

Once again, Eva brushed by me in the living room on her way out the front door. After her ice-cold act she'd been putting on for the past few days and weeks, I was surprised to see the glimmer of hidden tears in those piercing emerald eyes. A thought fumbled into my mind: Whether she was a bitch or not, she was, ultimately, human. After that epiphany, I could no longer hate her, but instead felt only pity. She would receive no more of my animosity tonight.

This time, there WAS a door there for her to slam, and she did just that - very vigorously. After she was gone, I was once again left alone in the living room. I debated going back into the kitchen, but I lacked the courage and the energy to face AJ and everyone else in there. I sighed and resigned myself to a few minutes of sitting by myself to chill out.

But it was so dark in this living room, and just being here reminded me of Eva… I couldn't sit here. I walked into the hallway to look for somewhere else to be alone, and that's when I heard the voices.

One was Brian's. And one was definitely Eilene's. And they were both definitely VERY upset. They were coming from the library.

"I am not going to listen. I am not going to listen," I repeated over and over to myself in a whisper, willing myself not to give into temptation and eavesdrop. "I am not going to listen. I am not going to listen. Oh, shit…screw it. I'm going to listen." I tiptoed silently to the library door and pressed my ear to it.

I could just barely make out what they were saying - I wished I could tear myself away and mind my own business, but my morbid fascination with the entire situation just wouldn't let me. I had to find out what was going on.

"I am such a bitch. Oh god. I am such a bitch. Becky, you are such a bitch," I murmured to myself as I settled in to listen.

When I started listening, Eilene was apparently silently listening to Brian talk. He was making a speech to her, pleading his case. Once in a while I could just barely hear her sniffle as she quietly cried.

Brian was saying: "-I've always felt…something…for you, Eilene. I don't know if you feel the same way, but now that I… now that Jenna isn't around anymore, I was wondering if maybe you might feel something for me too."

Eilene was yet silent for a moment, but soon answered him. She sounded like she was definitely in a lot of pain… She was wrestling with herself internally and didn't know just what to do. "You know I do, Bri," she said, "but I just can't do this! I could never live with myself knowing that you hurt someone else just to be with ME…"

"But I never loved her!" Brian burst out. "I don't know why I was with her, but I just recently realized that she was wrong for me…YOU helped me realize it." I wished I could actually see what was going on instead of just listening in, but unfortunately that was impossible. Using my imagination, I supposed that Eilene would be sitting on the library couch, unable to meet Brian's eyes. He would be standing in front of her, or maybe kneeling, I didn't know.

Back to Eilene: "I know you want to have a perfect relationship, another AJ and Becky-" (I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing out loud at that one - I didn't want to give myself away, but it just seemed so funny at the time) "-but this is wrong. For me. Whether we have feelings for each other or not, I could never… just… please try to understand."

"I have tried to understand, but I don't! Give this a chance, please…" Brian's pleas sounded heartfelt, sincere; I felt for him, but knew that Eilene was too stubborn to change her mind now.

A sob from Eilene. "I can't…" I heard her jump to her feet. "I'm so sorry…" Her footsteps rapidly approached me as she ran for the door. I jumped back just as she pulled the door open and pretended to just have been passing by. Tears were streaming down her face, but I pretended not to have a clue.

"Oh my god, Eilene!" I asked concernedly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, holding her head high and wiping the tears away. "I'm leaving, okay? Tell everybody else I said goodbye." She hugged me briefly and sped away to the front door.

Once again - yes, AGAIN - I was left on my own. And this time I was glad for it. My head was suddenly overcome with confusion, and I wasn't thinking straight. I blew out a held-in breath of air and ran my fingers absentmindedly through my hair. I needed to go somewhere and think: I couldn't just stand here in the hallway, could I?

I walked slowly down the hall, finally finding the room I was looking for. Finding the bathroom empty, I ducked inside. I shut the door quickly behind me and rested my back against it, sinking to the floor. I held my head in my hands as I found myself more confused than I had been in a long time.

Panic: is that what it was? I thought so, but like everything else, I wasn't sure. Seeing all my friends' problems was making me VERY nervous. Where was my relationship with AJ really going? Were we going to end up just like everyone else? So many of my friends were hurting right now…Ryan and Nick…Eilene and Brian…Gillie and Howie (kind of)…and even Kevin and Anne were having their problems with Eva. I didn't want to be in any of their situations. I had been there too many times to want to go back. Sure, AJ and I were fine now, but how long could that last?

I knew that what Eva told me wasn't true - but what would happen if it were? I couldn't even imagine… This had to stop before it went too far. I had to get away from AJ before he hurt me or - worse - I hurt him. I didn't care whether this was "self-preservation mode" or not: it was the only way.

I jumped out of my skin when there was a knock on the door. "Becky? Are you in there?" I heard AJ call out, and I felt as though a fist of iron were squeezing my heart.

"Go away," I whispered; and then again, loudly: "Go away!"

"Can I help? Let me in, baby, please… What's wrong?" He just wouldn't give up… Why did he have to make this so hard for me?

"Fine," I sighed. "Just give me ten minutes, okay?" I put my head in my hands and heaved a sigh.

"Okay, whatever you want," he said concernedly, and I heard his footsteps retreat slowly. Standing up, I cracked the door open and peeked out: the coast was clear. No one in sight. As quietly as possible, I dashed back into the living room and grabbed my jacket and purse. I stuck my head in the kitchen and caught Gillie's eye without anyone else seeing me. I frantically waved her over.

"Gillie, please do me a HUGE favor," I whispered to her, my eyes huge and desperate. "Can you drive me home? AJ brought me here, but I need to leave. Right NOW."

"Is everything okay?" she whispered back, searching my face for a hint.

I took a deep breath. "I'll explain everything in the car. Let's just get out of here, okay?"

"Sure, I was ready to go anyway. Let me just tell Kev we're leaving." Gillie disappeared back into the kitchen for a moment but came back a few minutes later with all her things as well as the CD's I'd brought.

Soon we were back on the road, and I could breathe a little easier. The more miles I could put between AJ and myself, the easier it would be for me to emotionally distance myself from him. I was concerned that he wouldn't understand… he did before, but would he still? I could only hope.

I had made a mistake believing I could love anyone without being hurt. Just being with AJ was a disaster in the making. Finally, this time I was going to do something about it before anything else could happen... No matter how much it broke my heart, I was going to stay away from AJ. Starting now.

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Continue to chapter thirty

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