We met as two total strangers
As many lovers often do
But who could have ever seen the danger?
I didn’t know I’d fall in love with you…
-Vertical Horizon

            AJ slammed the front door of his house closed behind him.  As was his tradition, he threw his keys onto the hall table before hurrying to the alarm system panel on the wall and punching in his security code.  God, what a night.
            He glanced down at the two dogs yipping up at him from the wood-paneled hallway floor.  A smile flitted across his face as he nudged them playfully, one at a time, with his toe.  He bent down to scratch them behind the ears.  One of them jumped up to lick his nose, causing him to make a face of mock disgust.
            He straightened and trudged into the kitchen, where his answering machine was (unlikely enough) located.  He pressed the “play” button, then began to rummage through his refrigerator looking for a drink while his messages played aloud.
            *Beep*  “Hey Aje, it’s Brian.  I was just calling to see what you were up to, why ya left so quickly after rehearsal this afternoon.  Gimme a ring later, maybe we can hang out tonight or something.”
            Sounded good enough.  AJ hadn’t done anything social with his fellow group members in way too long.  He’d call the other guys in a few minutes, see what their plans were.
            *Beep*  “Alex, it’s your mother.  You haven’t called me in four days, and I’m worried.  Where are you?”
            Oh mom, AJ thought with a grin.  What would I do without you?
            *Beep*  “AJ, it’s Adrienne.  (giggle)  I know you just dropped me off, like, five minutes ago, but I wanted to let you know I had fun today, and please call me later.  I’m free this weeekend.  We can do something, or something.  Call me!”
            He simply rolled his eyes and absently punched the “delete” button on his answering machine.  He returned to the refrigerator and, after removing two cartons of Chinese takeout and a stack of tubs of cream cheese, discovered a bottle of mango juice that he didn’t quite remember buying.  He shrugged and poured himself a glass, then carried it into the living room, where he threw himself exhaustedly down onto his couch.
            After a moment he realized that something rigid and made of plastic was poking him in his rear end.  He felt around with his free hand and discovered that he had been sitting on his cordless phone.  How convenient.
            “So, who to call first?” he mumbled quietly to himself with a small smile.  He chuckled as he answered himself: “Definitely not Adrienne.”
             He’d had enough of Adrienne’s chatter that night to last him a week at least.  It was all right, at first – nothing new, he was used to her lively conversation.  But he’d never spent so much time with her at once before.  He’d been with her from around six o’clock, after her crew practice, until he’d dropped her off at her house at ten.
            He’d never heard so many nonstop stories and random comments in his life!  Initially he’d found it endearing and cute, for he didn’t often come across a woman with so much to say to him.  Then he realized that she wasn’t really saying it to him, specifically – she’d babble to any person with (or without) ears, as long as they didn’t try to interrupt her or shut her up.
            Maybe I’ll wait a few minutes before I return my calls, AJ mused, putting his feet up on the living room coffee table.  I could use a few minutes of good old peace and quiet.
            He let himself relax on the couch for a few more minutes, pondering and contemplating some of the night’s events.  Most important was the sudden acceleration of his physical relationship with Adrienne.  Their tryst in her apartment’s bathroom was nothing short of steamy, no pun intended.  AJ was more than a little surprised that Adrienne would be the one to initiate their first session of love-making (he’d learned long ago that women much preferred “love-making” to “sex”), and he couldn’t have thought of a more random time.
            But she was good, he admitted to himself.  One of the best I’ve had in a long time.  Not that I’ve had many women since Amanda, but she was still…very good.
            He sighed.  Having his physical encounter with Adrienne still fresh in his mind at dinner made the situation with Adrienne’s friend even more awkward.  He felt the stark contrast between his mostly-lustful feelings for Adrienne – yes, he freely admitted to himself that his feelings for her were more sexual than anything else – and the emotional intrigue he felt toward mysterious, unattainable Gwen, whom he’d met only once or twice in his life.  It baffled him, but he willed himself to forget it, because it only served to confuse him.  There was no purpose in worrying about it.
            After dinner he and Adrienne had driven randomly around the city with no particular destination, listening to music and talking in the dark.  The main topic of their conversation was, in fact, the future of their relationship and what lay ahead of them.  A little serious for AJ’s taste, but he was willing to indulge her.  After all, he knew how insecure and emotional women could get after first-time sex.
            He’d given her a lot of bullshit, mainly – about how they could really work to keep their relationship going strong in spite of his career and lifestyle.  But he knew in his heart that this would not be one of his more lengthy affairs.  He would just try to enjoy it while he could.
            AJ punched the third speed dial button on his cordless phone.  After a few rings, a familiar voice answered.
            “Hello?”
            “Hey Rok, it’s AJ.  What’s up?”  It sounded as if Brian weren’t alone, for he could hear a few other voices in the background.
            “Oh, not too much, the other guys are just over here having a pizza.  We decided to make it a guys-only night for once.  Where’ve you been?”
            AJ smiled at the sounds of arguing at Brian’s house.  He could just imagine Nick standing in the kitchen, fighting with the others over the last slice of pizza.  “You wouldn’t believe the night I’ve had, man.  I decided to surprise that girl Adrienne by showing up at her rowing practice, but she dragged me along with her to some restaurant with a couple of her other friends.  It wasn’t a great time, but at least I got a little nookie before dinner…”
            “Aww, AJ, I don’t want to hear about all your freaky conquests,” Brian said, laughing.  “Just stop right there, okay?”
            “Yeah, all right, virgin-boy,” AJ joked.  Before Brian could protest, he continued, “Why don’t you guys come over to my place a little later?  Bring some movies, video games for Nicky, whatever.  You all haven’t been over to my crib in a long time, and I’m starting to feel left out.”
            “Hold on, let me ask the fellas.”  After a brief pause, during which AJ could hear multiple voices yelling at once, Brian’s voice returned.  “Okay Aje, everyone’s gonna be at your place in, like, twenty minutes.  That all right?”
            “Sure,” AJ responded.  “The kitchen’s stocked and I just got my surround sound system hooked up last week.”
            “Awesome.  Seeya in a few.”
            AJ heard the click as Brian hung up the phone.  This should be fun, he thought.  Exactly what I need.  Women…who needs ‘em when I’ve got my friends?  I don’t know what’s going to happen between me and Adrienne, because the future is impossible to predict, as I’ve learned.  I remember long ago I thought Amanda was the one for me…maybe she was, at that time.  But not anymore.  Adrienne might drive me crazy, but I have to admit that I kinda like her.
            AJ let out a small grunt as he pushed himself to his feet and headed toward the hallway.  His house was a terrible mess and he needed to do a little cleaning before the other guys arrived.  Starting at his front door and working his way through the house, he began picking up old sheets of paper and discarded articles of clothing.

             A heavy fog had settled in the air outside the open window of Gwen’s apartment.  Sitting on the sofa in her living room with a mug of hot tea in her hands, she didn’t mind it a bit.  She even felt that the mysterious quality it gave to the street outside made her own little place seem even more cozy.
            It wasn’t a cold night—in fact, the temperature hadn’t dropped below seventy—but Gwen still found it enjoyable to curl up on the old couch in a warm, fuzzy bathrobe with her tea.  She pondered the ways she could keep her mind busy tonight: perhaps she would read, or maybe watch a movie on TV.
            No, she decided.  The night is too lovely for me to exclude myself from it.
            After setting her tea down on the coffee table, she rose and walked toward the open window, holding her robe close against her.  The fog muted the noise of passing cars and the conversations of passersby in the street below her.  The moon and stars were hidden behind the dense curtain of mist; the night was dark and still, and Gwen loved it with all her heart.
            After the afternoon’s confusion, Gwen took this opportunity, surrounded by the simplicity of darkness and fog, to breathe the warm evening air and clear her head.  It had taken her a few hours—and a well-deserved bubble bath—to realize how foolish she’d been acting earlier in the evening.  She could hardly believe herself.  Having always been proud of her ability to keep her cool, to separate her actions and her emotions, she’d been disappointed with her behavior.
            She heaved a sigh and leaned her elbows on the windowsill.
            Silly Gwen.  I thought you knew better than that, she scolded herself.  Every day you practice indifference to your feelings, focusing on your independence and strength.  How could you forget those skills tonight?
            Another sigh.  Oh well, it’s too late to regret the stupid things I said and did earlier.  I just can’t believe I let a foolish thing like attraction to a man make me act that way.  Besides, I’m sure I’m not really attracted to him.  It was just a whim…right, Gwen?  Just a whim.
            She stepped back and closed the window, then walked back toward the coffee table where she’d left her tea.  She picked up the warm mug with both hands and raised it to her lips, taking a sip.  The steam rising from the liquid warmed her as she breathed it through her nose.
            Let Adrienne have her boys.  I have other important things in my life…Rowing.  My education.  My friends…especially Corrina.  I don’t need a busy social life or dates every night to make me happy.  Just because sometimes I wish for…something more…doesn’t mean I need to lose all sensibility and rush out to find romance and excitement.  They would never work out for me, even if I did try.  All they bring is trouble.
            It was hard for Gwen, pushing her feelings aside and trying to remain practical, but it was something she did whenever life threatened to endanger the stability she’d built for herself over the past years.  It was how she managed to keep everything calm and steady.  She was afraid of the unknown, of what lay outside the boundaries she’d placed upon herself.  Because she hated failure of any sort.  And she felt, with certainty, that she would fail at love.
            Some nights she would lie awake in bed and stare at the ceiling, dreaming (while still awake) of letting loose all the emotions that she worked so hard by day to suppress.  Deep within her she knew there was a yearning for more—a desire to stop limiting herself, to find that mysterious something that was meant to fit into the gaping hole that echoed beneath her heart.
            Today was the closest she’d ever come.
            Tonight, however, was a different story.  Gwen turned out the lights in her apartment, crawled into bed, and closed her eyes with a determination to keep her life blissfully normal and free from all entangling emotions and fits of passion.  As she let her consciousness slip away, drifting into oblivion, all she allowed herself to think was:
            I have been such a fool…

Continue to Chapter Eleven: Rush Me In
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