Chapter 2
The next 2 months were the worst of my life. In November we had found out that the tumor was malignant and had scheduled him for a surgery called the "whipple procedure." It was an attempt to remove the tumor. But this was an attempt that had failed us. The tumor was in a place where it was impossible to be removed. His doctors had given him six months to live, and immediately started him on radiation and therapy.
My life was drifting away and I couldn't stop it. I found myself in a state of complete and total depression for 2 months. My grades dropped in school and I had made a habit out of skipping classes and sometimes I skipped the whole school day. All the rest of my time was spent locked away in my room. I had isolated myself completely from the outside world and almost always wouldn't talk or converse with any of my friends. If I wasn't at home I was almost always at the hospital spending time with my dad during his recovery and therapy sessions. Every time I left there, I could never stop myself from crying. It felt like my heart had been lifted from my chest and I was domed to walk alone to find it again.
Then one day in December, about a week before Christmas, Melissa stopped by my house. I really didn't want to see anybody, but at the same time I didn't want to be rude to my best friend. So we went in my room to talk and watch some TV. She was talking to me but my mind as else where, so I didn't pay a lot of attention. She noticed that I wasn't in the mood for idol conversation so she started flipping the channels on the TV. Feeling bad about my behavior I sat on my bed and tried to act interested in what we were gonna watch. As she flipped the channels she stopped on ABC or NBC. On the screen was a music group consisting of five guys.
"Hey Kim, didn't you perform there on opening day of the 25th anniversary.?" My eyes had zeroed in on one of the guys in the group.
"When I first saw you, I already knew. That there was something, inside of you. Something I thought that I would never find, Angel of Mine." -Monica-
"Earth to Kim! Come in space cadet."She snapped her fingers. I came back to reality.
"Sorry Mel, yeah I did perform there. That was the beginning of October." At the time, the music group was performing at Walt Disney World. My gaze turned back to the TV.
"Kim, what are you staring at?"
"That guy in the group, the one with the blond hair."She looked back at the TV. I was absolutely knocked off by this guy. He was putting every ounce of emotion he owned into the music and the determination in his eyes was overwhelming. I had seen that look before, in my fathers eyes when after his surgery he had promised he was going to fight untill the very end. This guy was putting all of himself into his performance and the reaction from the group of fans that were watching showed me that they were thinking the same thing I was.
"He's pretty cute."Melissa finally said. "But I think he's cuter."
"Which one?" She pointed to a guy with short brown hair kinda curled up in front, with blue eyes and a very smooth voice.
"Mel, who are these guys?"
"They're the Backstreet Boys. I know cause they just released their first cd here in the U.S."
"What type of music do they play?"
"You've probably heard it already. You know the songs "Quit Playing Games" or "We've Got It Goin' on?"
"I think I've heard it on the radio but I never put a name with the songs."
"Well now you can here your first song by them, this is their latest single "As Long As You Love Me." I smiled as I continued to watch these 5 talented musicians light up Disney World even more then it already was.
"Kim, I think that's the first time I have seen you smile in 2 months".
"You must be right cause my face hurts when I do it now."She laughed at my comment.
"Now I'm gonna have to write them a letter and thank them."
"Thank them for what."I said inquisitively
"For making you accually look happy for a minute. That's definate progress considering what you've been like the last 2 months. You have practically dropped out of school, you've been singing and performing for 9 years and you gave that up like you never cared. Everyone is worried about you." I hung my head in shame.
"Have I really been that bad?"
"I'm not saying that you don't have the right to be upset but you can't just shut down. Don't stop living. You know your dad would never let you do that." I looked one last time at the guy on the TV screen and smiled at Melissa.
"Let's go to the mall."
"What for?"Melissa asked shocked, knowing that I had barely been out of my room for 2 months.
"I want to buy their CD."She smiled back at me and jumped up.
"I want it too!! I'll drive." So we jumped in her car, but before she started it she looked at me one last time.
"Why the sudden change of heart? I never thought I would get you out of that room ever again." I looked at her confused
"I don't know, but there was something about that guy that made me have this sudden burst of energy. And it rushed over me so fast, like when the tide comes in at the beach. It hits so hard and so fast. I just can't explain it."
"Well, I'm happy to see that you might be getting out of this state you've been in. I was really worried about you."
"Thanks Mel, you're the best"We hugged and made our way to the mall.
