*It's 1:00 p.m. and Lance and I meet in front of Nine West*
*Me* So Lance, where do you want to hit first?
*Lance* Hmmm. I'm actually looking for some new tops... I mean SHIRTS.
*Me* Don't worry, Lance. You can be as feminine as you want around me, girlfriend. We're just here to spend some monayyyy.
*Lance* Alright! Well that is deLIGHTful! Let's shop till we drop!
*Me* Yeahhhh. Since we're here, let's see what's in Nine West.
*Saleswoman* Good afternoon, ladies. May I intrest you in our 20% off all handbags sale?
*Lance* Cute! Do you have any woven ones?
*Saleswoman* Of course... hey aren't you in that band, Innosense?
*Lance* ::laughs lightly:: Ha ha. No, I think you mean NSync.
*Saleswoman* ::ignores Lance:: Here's a simple black one with a medium length strap...
*I drift off and wander over to the shoes. Suddenly I hear a sharp yelp*
*Lance* Eeeek. Get AWAY from me, Steve Fatone. I am NOT your bitch. And although you share everything with your brother, that doesn't mean you can keep grabbing my ass and soliciting me like this. What do you think I am? ::storms off with Steve close behind with his trusty vid cam::
*Me* Lance, sweetie. Are you okay?
*Lance* ::sobbing:: No. Geez... I feel so cheap. Nikki, I swear it was just that 1 time with Steve! I didn't know he'd be following me like this.
*Me* Awww, hey girl you MUCH better than that. How about we go to Baskin Robbins and splurge on a banana split? Whaddaya say?
*Lance* Oh I wish I could but I'm watching my weight.
*Me* Lance, I have a question for you. And if you don't feel comfortable with answering it, that is totally fine. Um, whatever happened with you and Danielle Fishel?
*Lance* Danielle? Who's that?
*Roll my eyes*
*Me* I meant Topanga. Why did you guys stop dating?
*Lance sighs*
*Lance* I've never told anyone this before, but here it goes.
*Me* It's OK Lance, take your time. We can work through this together.
*Lance* It all started when I was watching TGIF. I saw her and was feeling attracted to her...I've never felt that way about a girl before...guys, sure, but girls? Never.
*Me* Lemme wipe those tears, your mascara is running ::reaches for a tissue::
*Lance* Thanks. Well, I met her and it was magic. She made me forget all about Toby, my sexuality, my makeup, for a while. But then, after a few months things changed.....I realized that I could never love her. I mean, I would look at her when she was sleeping next to me, and I came to the harsh reality that I was MUCH MUCH MUCH prettier than she was. I tried to surpress the thoughts...but they wouldn't go away!
*Me* WOW, so what did you do?
*Lance* I went to Joey for some advise on girls, ya know, cuz he knows about those things, and he told me to "dump the bitch and come out of the closet."
*Me* So you took his advise?
*Lance* Yeah, so I just called up Topanga and told her that it could never be. She didn't have the application skills that I was looking for in a woman. I couldn't go on pretending anymore ::hang head in shame::
*Me* I never knew...Hey girlfriend, do ya wanna get out of here? I have an extensive collection of Barbara Strisand movies and a carton of Haggan-Daz at home with your name on it...
*Lance* Can we watch "Funny Girl" first? ::sob::
*Me* Sure, whatever you want. We can play dress up too. I have this pair of pumps that would look spectactular on you.
*Lance* ::Smiles:: Let's go....
