NSA TOUR 2K
HOLY SHIT. If you are going to see this show, and want to be surprised....STOP READING NOW. Cuz otherwise we are gonna spoil it for you. (Kinda like we did for the girls sitting in front of us the 4th time we saw the show. They were slighly pissed. LOL.) But for those of you who want details....we are gonna give em to ya. With our comments of course. First off, we attended 4 shows, but hell, the review will be from all of them kinda crunked together....so whatever, just deal, and read on....OOOH, and y'all are gonna just LOOOVE the way we tagged our pics...ghetto style!
OPENING ACTS
He friggin loves us.
Stever: Yes, our Stever is once again announing for the shows. Awwwww. And he does a little Stever dance. LOL. Let's just hope he never used that move when he was dancing for that group Solid Harmony. The way he says Pink when he is announcing her is so damn cute in his "fake" Brooklyn accent...."Here she is...PAAAANK!" LOL. And thank GOD he is running the camaras again, otherwise who would get all the awesome tight crotch shots? Big ups to Stever.
Change your outfit, boy.
Ron Irizarry: First off, dat boy good. Not to mention hot as hell. Its kinda cool seeing the rest of the body behind the eyes that stare at you on Fumanskeeto.com, and let us say it is one hell of a body. YUM. He has a great voice and rocks out with his guitar to three songs. Did we mention that he was hot? People were being really lame about him though. Because his music is not Top 40. Its like folk/rock, but very enjoyable. Oh yeah, and he is realy hot.
Bling Bling Ching Ching Girl!
Pink (or PAAANK as Steve would say): Pink kicks so much ass. GIRL POWER. We love her. If you don't have her album, go buy it. Wow. It's awesome. She is super talented in the "I-am-totally-opposite-of-that-Britney-Spears-bullshit-love-song-cheezy-pop-crap" instead she is the "I-kick-ass-because-I-can-sing-and-dance-at-the-SAME-TIME-plus-I-wrote-over-half-the-songs-on-my-album-and-I-know-that-guys-suck" kind of girl. You go girl. The only complaint is that she should have gotten one more song. She gets 3 songs and Sisqo gets like 7...er something like that. Which leads us to....
Nice abs.
Sisqo: First off, Sisqo is one HOTT ASS MF. Phew, now that that is out of our systems. He opens with "Unleash the Dragon" cool dance...make that dragon by grabbing each others asses...lol...if you see it, you will know what we mean. Following that is an edited rendition of "Got To Get It" where Sisqo doesn't say the dirty words, but lets the crowd just scream them for him...but then on the rap, they let loose, yes the line "Won't you be the freak I know and give me head all night" is said. We were like WHOA. I don't think the parents enjoyed that too much. Ya know, aside from the MOTHERS wearing THONGS on their HEADS..WTF?!?!?!?! Anyways, getting back to Sisqo...then they do a medley of Wild Wild West and some other rap shit like Forgot About Dre, blah, blah, blah. Next is "How Deep Is Your Love"...We know for a mf fact that the tight 13 year olds and their parents sitting around us did not appreciate the "real words" to the song that we were singing at the top of our lungs. OOPS. Then he sings "Incomplete" boring. Sorry, but it is. And finally wraps it up with the enevitable "Thong Song" ::and the crowd goes wild:: We are convinced that the tall blonde shakin her ass all over the stage is really a man. Let us know what you think when you see it. LOL.
Alternate Opening Act
Yeah, its asswipe, AGAIN.
Eric Garbus: Mr. Say What Karaoke himself opened on a couple of the shows. Hey Eric, stop hitting the bottle before you go on stage and look into some dance lessons. But he scores points for being tight with the FAT-ones. So tight, that they take his ass on tour and let him sing when he runs out of money from giving it to all the stippers the night before. LOL. We still love you ASSWIPE!
Bring on the ex's.
Innosense: (a.k.a. Innosluts) There ya go Lynn. Pawning off your shitty girl band off on your son. At least they only sang two songs. Transcon was STILL showin representation in O-Town. Sucks don't it?
Yo Riprock, AG, B and G, and especially JC.
Boyz and Girls United: WTF? Is this the ex's open for *NSYNC tour? I bet Justy really liked having Robbie thrown up in his face. That must have been really nice for him. Whatever. But they sang the song JC wrote that got cut from NSA. It's called Messed Around. Its really bitter and it kicks much ass. Go JC.
NSA First off, a review of each individual guy is necessary...then we will get to the actual show....
Lance: WHOA. SHIT. PISS. DAMN. FUCK. HOTT. BASS. Dude, he is so mf fine. It is unreal. If you love Lance, love Lance, love Lance you HAVE to see this show. Hell, even if you don't love Lance, the show will change your mind. We want to kiss the new wardrobe lady. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for leather pants and turqoise snake skin leather rocker shirts. And OMG...he can dance and THRUST. Good Lord help us all. And the infamous line "I saw her grab you, so I hit zoom" came from the result of Amy and Ash freaking out over Mr. Bass, while Val was taking some pics. LOL. Funny stuff. Once you start watching Lance, you can not take your eyes off of him. He is just incredible now. The sad thing is, Val has now come over to the other side....she felt about Lance the way Ash and Amy felt about JC. Sucks when you find yourself totally drooling over your least fave, huh? LOL.
Justin: Our prayers were answered, and the mf stupid ass cornrows were out. We think that he looked at himself in the mirror during "Just Got Paid" and realized how retarted he looked. So the fro was back and in full effect. It was HUGE, but so mf sexy. We wanted to suck it. LOL. The way that kid moves is the most entrancing thing to watch. He has stage presence like no other. Amazing. But y'all already know all this. We were loving the bedazzled do rags that matched every outfit. Nice affect. And Amy was on the verge of passing out during his beatboxing segment. Wow. JUSTIN IS HOT.
Christo: He is the damn cutest. Not to mention that he is our idol. The Christo dance was in full effect throught the entire concert...ya know the one where he sits down into his hip? So friggin adorable. And the facial expressions he pulls during the concert are to die for. Yummay.
Joey: Woo Hoo! Good job on cutting the hair and leaving it brown FAT-one! Love it. He is hammier than ever, but what concert would be complete without Joey pointing, winking, and smiling until his face won't allow him any more? Our point exactly. Go, go FAT-ONE!
JC: Good ol' Cracknuts himself. LOL. For the first few shows he kept the crackin to a minimum. And we walked away disappointed. The sad thing was, the things that we rip on him about the most were the things we missed so much during the concert. No crack dance, no conducting the invisible orchestra, and no neck breaking dance moves...UNTIL....THE 4TH NIGHT. Holy shit. We have never EVER seen him crack out this bad in concert before. JC was off the hook. Jerome got him some good shit for Ft. Lauderdale. Damn. He was flailing all over the place, and we LOVED every minute of it. Thank you Cracknuts. You redeemed yourself, and totally made up for the three previous performances. Crack, crack, crack. The Concert"I have no strings to hold me down..." BOOM! *NSYNC drops from the riggings. No build up, nothing. Its like WHOA. Major shock value. (oops, not anymore since we just told you...lol)
We want to tie them up.
No Strings Attached: Just for the record $$'s called this as the opening song from the day the album came out. ::does the carlton:: Anyways, there are a lot of pyrotechnics on this one. Very cool effect. We have decided that it is a combination of a puppet/magician thing they are going for. Thus the top hats and crazy ass costumes. The choreography is very puppet oriented. A lot of flailing arms and flipping of the hands. The best part of the song is the last "Baby you're not the only one...you don't have to be afraid to fall in love" where all they are doing is thrusting and grinding. Lord help us all.
HELLO LANCERS...
I Want You Back: At the beginning of the song, they start stipping off pieces of their outfits..yummay. The thrust line is in full effect, Joey and Justin still look at other and laugh during "the way you used to look at me and say", and Stever still does the niiice camara work on "I said that everything would be alright" LOL. Some things never change.
Hurry it up already, Justin.
God Must Have Spent: Lance does a whole "new" spiel at the beginning. Same shit, different way of saying it. LOL. On the last verse, 5 pedestals rise out of the stage and they are suspended on this little circle up in the air. All we have to say is Christo was most likely shitting his pants. In some ways it is sad that Justin no longer does the 15 minute ending, but then again, bring on the new stuff.Ananada does this NTV spiel here. We personally would like to see the guys sing Yankee Doodle Dandy, anyone else? LOL. All we want to know is WHY DIDN'T CARSON DO IT?
The boys went shopping in Rubin's closet.
Tearing Up My Heart: Yep, Tearin Up My Heart. The saddest part is they took out all of the ad libs. But the crowd makes up for it. Plus they took out the ass spanking "whoop whoop whoop". WTF? The song is incomplete without it. At least they still do the "When I say N you say SYNC." We do however appreciate the fact that there is a whole hell of a lot of mesh clothing going on. HELLO.
Can someone check my pulse?
Beatboxing: Good hell. Go ghetto boy Justin go. BASS WHAT? This is the part where Justin shows off his talented mouth and ass. Thank you very much. ALL MAH PEOPLE OVA HERE...ALL MAH PEOPLE OVA HERE...ALL MAH PEOPLE DOWN HERE. Shake your shit boy. The best part is that he is so sexual about the way he wipes his lips when he is done. Even Justin's spit is sexy. Damnit. Breathe $$'s, breathe.
We LOVE Darren.
It's Gonna Be Me: I am assuming that everyone has seen the video...(Which on a side note is mf hot as hell) So y'all basically know what happens in the song. Lots of dancing and thrusting, in camo gear. We love them sleeveless shirts. Love the dance break in the middle, and the peal out harmonies on "its gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna...." VERY NIIICE.
Nice spread.
I Drive Myself Crazy: They bring out a couch and Christo give a spiel about how they all sing while sitting around in the living room, so now they are bringing it to us. Um, yeah. Whatever, but shit, could they sit on that couch any more suductively? Survey says...NOPE. Legs spread just loungin. YUMMAY. And they gave the song a calypso vibe. Very cool. The Christo dance is in full effect for this song. He is strutting and shakin his little ass the entire time. But the sad thing is, no overacting on the invisible orchestra from JC. :(
Thank GOD Christo didn't explain acapella.
I Thought She Knew: Justin thanks all the fans for the support blah blah blah. LOL. And they sing the song. Yup. Its awesome though because the crowd goes absolutely APE SHIT when Joey starts singing....and the fabulous line "GO GO FAT-ONE" came out of this song. LOL.
Christo is $mon-aaaay$.
Millionaire Video: Holy crap this is cute. A little scary, but cute. It starts off like they are coming off stage, then walking thru a circus type thing (go ASSWIPE) then they sit down in front of NTV. They are flippin thru the channels and a Lance "imposter" is sitting with them..."what the heck are you?" some notables from this segment: Justin's "Can I get you something? No? OK", Chris screaming "The answer is B, Reege" after Lance's lifeline is gone, Justin and his "One Million Dollars" Dr. Evil impression, Christo calling him Lancers, and JC and Joey's "embrace" when Lance gets them PAID man.
Fro is out of control.
Just Got Paid: Fun song, fun song. They spent some dolla dolla billz on all the confetti that comes puking out of the stage. The entire floor gets about and inch of green and white on it. Justin got the comb stuck in the fro durning "checked the mirror" -- it was great. The way Justin and Christo strut and shake it during the rap is freakin adorable. The "booties shakin" ass slap is a major crowd pleaser. ::breathe:: And Joey gettin bitch tossed onto the stage by Lonnie makes the song. Go go FAT-ONE. Funniest thing is how damn high Christo's voice is on this. $$'s does a mean impression of it. But the shining moment of Lauderdale was when Mr. James Lance Bass was freaking the HELL out of Janine Fatone in the KLUB. HOLY SHIT. AAAAHHHHHHH SCARY ASS CLOWN IS NEXT. WTF IS THIS?!?!?!?! WE KNOW THIS PIECE OF SHITDOM WAS CRACKNUTS PSYCHO ASS IDEA. MAKES NO SENSE = CRACKNUTS HANDIWORK.
We want the rodeo in our pants.
Space Cracknuts..er Cowboy: First of all, the outfits are to die for. Teenybopper wetdream material right here. HOLY SHIT. Lance: Black leather pants, turqoise leather snakeskin?!?!?! ::passes out:: Justin: Bedazzled jeans, black studded leather sleveless shirt?!?!? ::passes out:: JC has on womens pants size 2. Joey's pants are awesome in a tacky Joey kind of way. And Christo is just hot. Face it. LOL. OK. There are not words in the english dictionary to describe how mf hot this dance is. All we have to say is podsfiasdf adhfdsfsa dfhak hasdklfhaklsj dfhasdf kjhdflas dfjh asdfsd. Yep. That about sums it up. Our brains are mush after this song. Little brain. Little brain. YEHAAWWW! So much thrusting and grinding and "riding" that it makes you...er...what's the phrase? Hot and bothered? And the dance interlude where they sprawl on the floor with their legs open and push up on one arm and use their pelvis as a gun?!?!? HOLY SHIT. Then of course they Puff Daddy the Wild Wild West dance...but who cares. Cracknuts definatly takes the funnel cake on that dance, if you want to laugh...watch JC. Ride it ride it ride it ride it a giddy up.
Roll in the crash cart for us.
Makes Me Ill: The funniest thing about this song is the fact that we always say that they are gonna have to roll in a crash cart to revive our asses after *NSYNC kills us from a heartattack. lol. And, that is exactly what this song opens with. We were dying. So basically, they act out the song in the Dr.'s outfits and the choreograpy is them being ill. It sounds really cheesy, but shit, it works. The best is when Joey is wandering all over the stage like he is about to puke. He's so hammy, but he makes the song with his total cheeseball overacting. Two very big thumbs up.
Rarrrrrrrrrr.
This I Promise You: JC talks about needing to get "closer" to the crowd, and whadayaknow...the front part of the stage starts moving. They run the stage thru the middle of the aisle and rotate it around while the guys are up there belting it out. Cool effect. Notable moments: Justin saying "like WOAH" when the stage starts moving. Lance laying on his side with one leg bent up ::faint:: Justin shakin his ass in the break-it-down part ::swoon:: Joey pretending he was tripping backwards on "over and over I fall" WTF? LOL. Justin getting beamed in the head by a water bottle some teenie threw at him (poor baby). JC conducting the orchestra ::phew!:: Christo's facial expressions (HE IS OUR IDOL). Joey sharing a water bottle with Lance...ewwwwww...scary. Luckily, Justin gets to drag out the end of this song for like 2 or so minutes....lol, we all knew that was coming.
The internet IS good.
Digital Getdown: L-i-t-t-l-e B-r-a-i-n. We would just like to take this opportunity to kiss JC's ass for writing this song. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you. Rumor has it, one of Britney's dancers choreographed this dance. Whoever you are...we want to kiss you. If you have ever contemplated what the guys would be like in bed....well, they basically show you. HOLY SHIT. Once again insert the words L-i-t-t-l-e B-r-a-i-n and alsdkfjadklff dfaldkjfa dfkadflkadf hdfkadf here. Lord help us all. Justin makes up for the lack of crack in the concert by doing a really ugly dance. He like flails himself all around, and we know that he is totally doing it to be ugly. There is just no other excuse for it. Then JC goes tearing across the stage screaming "SAY DIGITAL DIGITAL" "SAY DIGITAL GETDOWN" it is mf hysterical. Then the lights go off again and they jump on the moving Jamiroqoui belts in their kick ass glow in the dark pulsating pants and shirts. All we have to say is watch stage right. Justin's ass and Lance coming in backwards. YUMMAY. And in closing L-i-t-t-l-e B-r-a-i-n.
The End. Bye Bye Buh-Bye.
Bye Bye Bye: OK WTF? We still haven't figured this out with the monk costumes or whatever the hell they are supposed to be. Whatever. Yep, its good ol' BBB. Complete with the crotch grabbing and Justin shakin his ass. The best was in Lauderdale, Mr. Perfection Himself JCracknuts, completely FORGOT the dance. LOL. He just stood there doing NOTHING, looking at Joey, then shook his head, and got back into it the next verse. Crack is bad for your memory, huh? Perfect ending to a killer concert.
JC is adopted (take him home)