CHAPTER 9
The ride back to the hotel was a quiet one. No one had expected the outcome they got. Sure, they knew that the announcements by Justin and Chris would have some back lash but they never expected the fans to go ballistic. When their ride had passed the fans in the streets, they went crazy. They were yelling every obscenity they could think of at the cars. They were not happy about the news and although rumors had been circulating for weeks, having the guys confirm them was a different story.
They made it back to the hotel in one piece and up to their respective rooms. Chris went to call Kiley and tell her the 'good' news on how things went. Joey asked Justin to talk to him a minute. Anya was about to go into her room when Claudia and Beth came up to her. "Hey, can we talk to you?" Beth asked her friend.
"Yeah, come on in. I'll put Emma down for a nap and then we can talk." The three walked into her room and made themselves comfortable. "Okay, what did you want to talk about, if I didn't already know?"
Claudia started. "Look, I think I can speak for us all when I say how sorry I am about how the fans back there took the news. I'm sure it will die down soon. Remember when Kevin and Brian announced their engagements and BSB fans went crazy? Well, that calmed down and this will too." She got up and went to hug Anya.
"To tell you the truth, I am not upset about the whole thing. I am just glad it is all out in the open and now everyone will have to face the fact that Justin is off limits."
Both girls looked at each other and couldn't believe what they just heard. Anya was never one to rub something in someone's face, especially news about Justin. "Anya, we didn't say we weren't glad it came out but come on, you knew the fans would be upset and you shouldn't act like it's no big deal." Beth said.
"Beth, I know what you're saying, it's just that I am tired of the secrets and the hiding and sneaking around so the fans won't see me. I want to be able to go outside my house and not be afraid that someone is lurking in the bushes trying to get dirt on me. Now that Justin has told everyone about me, there is nothing more to say. The Rolling Stone article will clear up any rumors that were started and then there will be nothing more to it, or at least I hope."
"Yeah, I know what you are saying, sorry I jumped down your throat. I'm sure that when people see how happy Justin is, they will forget it and go on supporting the group."
"Thanks Beth, I hope so. Listen, I'm going to try to not make a big deal about this and hope Justin is okay. He seemed really quiet on the way over here."
"Well, it's too late to take back what he said. Now you have everything you wanted." Claudia began.
She kept talking about something but all Anya heard was 'now you have everything you wanted'. The way she said that made Anya's skin crawl. That was what the letters said. Could she…no way, Claudia is a friend of mine…well, she didn't like me at first…and that is when the first letter came…no, it couldn't be…she wouldn't do that.
The girls noticed the way Anya was staring off into space. "Anya, did you hear me?"
"What, I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"I said that I hope you know how lucky you are to have Justin and I wish you all the best."
"Um…thanks Claudia. Look, I think I'm getting a headache, would you guys mind if I laid down for a while?"
They looked at their friend. "No, we don't mind. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, I just need some rest. I'll see you guys later. Thanks for talking to me." She led the girls to the door and said goodbye to them. She laid on the bed beside Emma and tried to stay calm. It can't be Claudia, how would that explain Tennessee, but she said everything that the letters said. I think I really do have a headache now. Great, your losing your mind, accusing your friends of betrayal, some friend you are, Anya.
The next few days were spent trying to puffer out all the bad publicity that Justin and Chris started from their appearance on TRL. Anya hadn't mentioned to Justin the fact that she suspected Claudia as the person sending the letters. She knew he wouldn't believe her seeing as Claudia was Lance's girlfriend, but something inside told her that she was the person. Somehow, she must have someone helping her or something. She wasn't sure how she would prove it but she would keep an eye on Claudia from now on.
Justin came into the hotel room mumbling something under his breath. He didn't look happy at all. "Honey, is everything okay?"
He just looked at her like he was about to spit fire. "I don't want to talk about it right now. Do you mind leaving for a while?"
She was taken back by his comment. "Um…sure, I guess I can go down to JC's room and see if Beth wants to go for a walk or something."
"NO! You can't go outside. It is a mess out there. Just go to JC's room and stay there." He wasn't asking her to go, he was telling her.
She wanted to find out why he was acting this way. He never raised his voice like that to her and she was worried about what set him off, but didn't want to push him when he was obviously so upset. "Okay, I'll take Emma and see you later." She was upset he was more or less kicking her out of her room so she grabbed her daughter and slammed the door behind her.
Justin sat on the edge of the bed and buried his head in his hands. How did this get so out of hand? He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and read the words: Why is everything always about you? All I hear about is you. Well, I'm sick of it. You are not the center of everyone's universe. Quit complaining about your life and think about what you have done to mine. How do you think I feel when you are all my boyfriend talks about. He wants you and I know you want him, too. Wouldn't Justin love to know about that?
He had found the note waiting for Anya at the front desk. The person who was doing this was there with them in New York. He started to think about who this person was that Anya was accused of wanting. He could think of five or six guys that she was friends with but no one came to mind that she would like as more than a friend. She loved Justin, she would never cheat on him. Unless…she did think I was with Victoria, maybe she wanted to get back at me for that. No, she wouldn't, would she?
He crumbled up the paper and put it back into his pocket. He laid down on the bed and found sleep quickly.
Anya returned to her room a couple of hours later. She had been in JC's room talking to him and Beth but didn't let on that anything was wrong with Justin. She wasn't sure what his deal was but she didn't want to put that on her friends. She said he was tired and needed some rest.
When she opened the door, she found him asleep on the bed. She spread a blanket on the floor and put Emma down. She walked over to him and sat on the edge of the bed. She wanted to reach out and touch him. He was so beautiful when he was asleep. She would find herself many nights, just staring at him before she would fall asleep. She looked at the man before her and her heart broke. Something was upsetting him and that hurt her. She had a feeling that this was because of their announcement on TRL and now, Rolling Stone was out on the newsstands. She hoped he hadn't changed his mind about being with her and Emma. She didn't want to push him into anything but now that everyone knew, would he feel compelled to stay with her no matter what.
As if by habit, she found her hand making its way toward his face. She started with his hair. She loved the feel of his curls in between her fingers. Her hand worked down his face and onto his lips. She wanted to lean down and kiss him but resisted. She didn't want to wake him up and have him still be mad. She slowly moved her hand down his neck, passed his chest and onto his stomach. From sleeping, his shirt had come up a little and Anya could see just enough of his stomach showing. She gently leaned down and placed her head on it. She loved to lay in that spot, hearing his heart beat, and his warm skin on her cheek.
When he didn't wake up, she whispered to him, "whatever I did, I am so sorry. Please don't be mad at me, I love you." She wrapped her arm around his side and closed her eyes.
Justin had been awake this whole time. From the moment he heard the door open, he knew she was back. He didn't want to talk to her right now so he pretended to still be asleep. When he felt her touch, he nearly jumped off the bed. He loved the way she would make him feel but he wondered if she had done the same to someone else. He had thought about the latest letter for a while. At first, he thought that whomever it was that was writing, was just trying to get Anya upset but the more he thought about it the more he believed it. This person, this girl, had known about him and Victoria going out and only a limited number of people knew about that. If she knew something others didn't, then maybe she knew Anya's secret, too. He couldn't believe that Anya would cheat on him…but the letter didn't say she HAD cheated, just that she wanted someone else. I thought I gave you everything you ever wanted what did I do wrong?
The more he thought about this, the more upset he got. Without warning, he moved Anya off him and jumped out of bed. "Justin, what's wrong?"
Justin looked around the room trying to find something. "Look, I can't stay here right now, not with you. I have to get out of here." He started to pack some things in a small bag.
"What are you doing? Are you leaving? Please, Justin, tell me what it is?" She was begging for an explanation as to why he was acting this way. He had always told her he wanted her and Emma near him but now he wanted as far away from them as possible.
"I can't talk to you right now. I have to go." He grabbed his bag and walked to the door.
Anya saw him start to leave and she had enough. She ran to the door and blocked his exit. "No you don't. You are not walking out on me. I want to know what is going on and don't tell me you can't say. You have to be honest with me. Tell me right now." She folded her arms across her chest and awaited his answer.
He threw his bag on the floor and looked her straight in the eyes. "I said I didn't want to talk to you right now, but if you want to start something with me, go right ahead. You want me to be honest with you?" She shook her head 'yes'. "Why don't you start being honest with yourself."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about us. Do you really want there to be an us?"
"Justin, why would you say something like that, of course I want there to be an us. Why would you ever think I didn't want to be with you?"
"Because of this." He reached in his pocket and threw the letter at her. "I went down stairs and asked the guy at the front desk for any messages for our room. He gave me this. It appears our mystery person is closer than we thought and knows your secret."
"What secret? I don't have any secret."
"Just read it." He was losing his patience with her. She was standing in front of him accusing him of not being honest with her but she was doing the same thing.
She opened the letter and read the few typed lines. When she finished, she handed him the paper back and moved away from the door. Justin looked at her for a minute, expecting her to explain, say it was a lie, something, but he never got that. "I think you should just go." She turned around and went over to pick Emma up.
"You aren't even going to deny it are you? I can't believe you. I gave you everything and this is the thanks I get. I went on national TV, I told the magazines, everybody that I loved you. Do you know how hard that was to do? Do you know what I sacrificed for you? Do you even care?" He wanted her to say something but she didn't. He felt betrayed, stupid, but mostly, alone.
Anya couldn't look at him. She was so upset and hurt by this and needed time to think. "I said leave. You want out of here, then go." She hugged Emma close to her and prayed he wouldn't see her body shaking from her crying that had started.
He slowly picked up his bag and opened the door. "I'll be back for the rest of my stuff later." With that, he shut the door behind him.
Anya fell onto the bed in sobs. Emma noticed her mother's distress and began to cry as well. There sat Justin's two most precious girls, crying over him. He was their life, their love, their future, but now he was gone.