CHAPTER 22
Two weeks had gone by, Anya had returned to the apartment from the hospital, and now, she was trying to concentrate on keeping herself well for her baby's sake. Since she was put on complete bed rest for six weeks, she had nothing to do but watch TV, read books and write. She felt very lonely because she couldn't leave the apartment for any reason. Lisa tried to get more time off work but wasn't allowed anymore. She had to go back to work today and Anya would be alone for the first time.
She sat in her bed watching TV when an NSYNC video came on. It was the one that Anya had been in with Joey. At first, she had to laugh because she hadn't seen the video since the summer and to see herself and Joey together, was hysterical to her. Then, the shot cut to Justin and Libby. Anya's heart fell. She hadn't seen or heard from him since that night in the hospital when she yelled at him to leave. She didn't know exactly what she had said to him, she was having a hard time remembering much of that night, but knew she told him to stay away from her and the baby. She had regretted ever saying those words to him but couldn't do anything about that now. She was in no position to start something up with Justin, either work things out or have another yelling match. She was lost as to what she was going to do.
For days, all she could think about was him. The fact that he came to her side in the hospital, without knowing about the baby, made her feel that maybe he really did still care. He said he did but she wasn't sure since she had just seen him out with another girl. He's probably out with her right now, but then why did he kiss me in the hospital? Probably felt sorry for me, that's all.
Her thoughts were interrupted when the phone rang. "Hello."
"Anya? It's me JC. How are you?"
If Anya could have wished to hear anyone's voice right now, it was JC's. She knew she could talk to him about this. "JC, it's good to hear from you. I'm doing as well as can be expected. I guess you heard about my little secret?" She hoped Justin had told him already, otherwise, she would have to explain things to him.
"Yeah, that's why I called. I heard about you being in a car wreck and are home in bed for a while. Do you mind if I come over and keep you company?"
"Um…no, not at all...is that all Justin told you about me?" It didn't sound like he knew about the baby.
"No, that's not all...I know...Listen, I'll be over there in a few minutes okay?"
"Yeah, the front door is unlocked, come on in." Anya feared seeing her friend again. His tone over the phone didn't sound very encouraging.
JC arrived 20 minutes later and was standing in front of Anya's bed. "Please sit down." She started.
He took a seat beside her and immediately noticed her stomach. "Do you mind?" he said, motioning to the bulge.
"No, go ahead, she has been kicking like crazy lately so maybe she'll show off for you." Anya grabbed JC's hand and placed it on her stomach. The baby kicked almost instantly.
"Wow, that is amazing." He said, then grew serious. "Is everything okay with the two of you?"
"For now, we are doing okay. It's only been two weeks and I have to stay like this for four more. I am slowly going insane but it'll be worth it when I have a healthy baby."
JC noticed that just the mention of the baby put Anya on cloud nine. He could tell she was very happy about the baby. "Well, I know I am not suppose to upset you but since you can't run from me, I think it is time we talked about you and Justin."
Anya knew this time would come, she just hoped it would be later. "Yeah, I think we should. JC, let me explain why I didn't tell him or you guys…."
"Anya, I know why you didn't, Justin told us all. He also told us about the real reason you guys broke up and that it was in Cancun." Anya lowered her head. JC was one of her closest friends and she had been unable to open up and tell him about her and Justin. "I don't want you to feel bad about the past, what's done is done, but I do want you to think about the future. What kind of future do you want and does it involve Justin at all?"
"JC, I said a lot of things in the hospital that I didn't mean. The words just seemed to flow out of my mouth and I couldn't stop them. They were old feelings that I had bottled up for so long that when I saw Justin, they just came out. I do want him in the baby's life but I am not sure about mine. I don't know how we can work it out that the press doesn't get wind of the baby if Justin is allowed to see her. I don't know how it will be when they start harassing him about having a baby but now being with her mother, and I don't know if I can be with him just for publicity sake. The press will eat me and the baby up. I don't know if I could step out the front door without being attacked."
"Anya, to me, it sounds like you are afraid to let Justin back into your life because he may turn away from you again, if you get hurt. I know that he said that is why he left before but I think you both need to talk about it. I don't know what is going to happen but Justin needs to be involved in his child's life someway."
"I don't want to ruin your careers. What do you want me to do?" She was pleading for all the answers but knew he could only give his opinion.
"What do I think…you don't have to try to protect me or the other guys from this. I'm not going to say I loved hearing the news when Justin told me, but this is something he can't turn his back on. Yes, you may make some fans hate you. Yes, we may lose some fans, but if they really love us for our music, they won't care. Those are the fans we really want, not the ones that only love us for our looks. The only advice I can give you is talk to Justin. Me and the other guys are with you 100% in whatever you decide. He loves you, you know?"
"But I saw him out with another girl with Joey and Jen." Anya remembered the night of the accident and the girl Justin was holding hands with.
JC began to chuckle. "Have you ever met Justin's cousin, Amy?"
"No, but what does that have to do with…oh, that was his cousin?"
"Yeah, she was in for the weekend and Justin took her out with him and Joey and Jen. Simple as that. You didn't think he had another girlfriend, did you?" She gave him a look that told him yes. "Oh, Anya, he hasn't been out with another girl since you left. I know you saw pictures of him and other girls but he hasn't been out on a one-on-one date with anyone. He loves you too much to do that."
Anya felt really dumb right then. All those months of seeing him with other girls was all made up by the press. He hadn't been with anyone else because of her. She had yelled at him and threw him out of her room because, in part, she thought he had moved on. "JC, I don't know what to say. All those pictures, the interviews, everything, it looked like he was having a great time and didn't think about me."
"Are you kidding me, he may have put on a good face for the crowds but back at the hotels or on the bus, was an entirely different thing. He made all of us promise that we wouldn't tell you what he was going through when we would talk to you. He didn't want you to know he was so miserable because he had chosen to end your relationship. He said he couldn't look back, but he never looked forward, either."
JC saw the same look in her eyes that Justin had all those many nights. The same lost, hurt look that only would go away if the two of them would put away their pride and work things out. "Listen, I'm going to go now, I know you need your rest, please promise me that you will think about calling him? He is staying away from you because he doesn't want to hurt you anymore, but he is hurting himself as we speak. He wants to talk but is afraid of upsetting you and hurting the baby. Give him a chance, that's all I ask."
Anya debated whether or not to agree to this. She knew if she told JC yes, he would bug her until she did it and she wasn't sure if she could talk to Justin just yet. "JC, I can only say that I will think about it. I'm not promising anything but I will think about it."
"Fair enough." He got up to leave but turned around to face her again. "Let me just leave you with this one thing: I know you still love him, don't be afraid of that love, that's what brought you that beautiful baby you are carrying. Remember that night with him and how you felt. Remember how easy it was to love him. You could have that again if you only pick up the phone. I told you before, he won't turn you down, he loves you too much to ever lose you again." With that, he walked out her door and out of the apartment.
Damn it, JC, I hate it when you make sense.