*** Okay I'm skipping ahead a little bit because I want it closer to the time for JuJu to return, I miss him :( ***
Jack Matthews sat in the waiting room of the hospital, anticipating the arrival of his daughter. Liz had gone into surgery several hours ago and by now, his left thumbnail was chewed down to the nub. He tried to occupy his time by reading magazines that lined the shelves beside him but they were all about medical stuff that he just didn't want to read.
He glanced at his watch every five minutes out of nervousness. He had arrived in Florida Friday afternoon and was greeted by a smiling Liz. She had finished her first round of crying sessions in the privacy of her home, and had straightened herself up for her father's coming. She didn't want him to see how much she was hurting inside. She had to appear brave and strong for him so he would feel better about this whole ordeal.
The two had talked at great lengths about what her plans were as far as surgeries, treatments, and even if she was going to come home to recover. Indiana had some great doctors that could treat her and her father begged for her to return with him after the surgery.
Liz wasn't sure if she wanted to go but knew she had to decide soon. If she left, then she would be surrounded by her father – and mother. Liz's mom wasn't the most caring individual to be around and although she wondered if her illness would help their relationship, she felt as though her healing process would be hindered if she went.
The other thing she had to think about was that if she stayed, then she would be putting a burden on Justin, Lynn, the guys and eventually the girls when they found out. She didn't want to put anyone out by having them feel sorry for her but in her heart, she prayed that they would invite her to stay with them. Here was where she felt save. Here was where she felt loved and appreciated. Indiana had been her home for so long but Florida was where she wanted to stay.
She didn't want to return home and feel trapped, feel that she was in the way, and left to die there.
That was the other thing she had been thinking about. How could she not think about the possibility of death? It haunted her every thought. She was terrified of it but that only made her want to stay in Florida even more. If she didn't beat this thing, then her last sights, her last smells, her last moments – she wanted them to be of this place. This place of dreams, of magic and of – Justin.
She missed him more than words could say. She hated that she hadn't talked to him since her last hospital visit and had pretty much hung up on him – well, given his mother the phone so she wouldn't have to hear his pleas any longer. Her heart broke every time she closed her eyes. She could see his face, hear his cries and know that the once strong man that brought her to her knees, had crumbled before her. She just couldn't imagine the thoughts that must have been running through his mind by now.
She would call him as soon as she felt up to it. She was having her surgery today and was told that she would be able to go home the following night if all went well. She was beyond nervous when her and her father walked into the hospital that morning, he had to physically hold her up but she never broke down and cried.
This was another day that she would face with her head held as high as it could go. She would beat this demon if it was the last thing she ever did.
"Mr. Matthews?"
Liz's dad turned abruptly in his chair and quickly stood when he heard his name called. He noticed a small, middle-aged man wearing a lab coat standing in front of him. "Dr. Pinchoe, how's my daughter?"
The doctor smiled brightly as he approached Jack. "Elizabeth is resting comfortable in recovery. She should be in her own room in a few hours. You can ask the nurses' station for her room number and wait in there if you wish." He spoke as he flipped open her chart and scribbled a few things inside.
Liz's father held out his hand for the doctor to shake. "Thank you for everything." He said as the other gentleman shook his hand.
"Mr. Matthews, I didn't do anything compared to what your daughter will have to do from this point on. We were able to save most of her reproductive organs but the extent of the cancer was more than we first thought. She will probably have a tough fight ahead of her and will need all the love and support she can get if she is going to beat this."
Jack nodded his head but before he could respond, another voice spoke from behind him. "She's gonna beat it, don't worry."
Liz's father turned around and eyed the person behind the voice. He looked closely and realized who it was. "I don't know where you came from but Lizzy's gonna be awfully glad to see you."
"Hi sweetheart, how are you feeling?"
Liz began to stir and tried to reacquaint herself with her surroundings. She was fighting the anesthesia once again but this time, knew what was happening. She reached out with her hand, begging the person behind the soothing voice to come closer. She kept her eyes closed, knowing they wouldn't stay opened too long anyway.
She became visibly relaxed when another hand latched with hers and smiled when she felt a gentle kiss on her forehead. "How…how long have I been…out?" She asked as she tightened her hold on the hand that held hers.
She could tell that the person took a seat on her bed because it made a squeaking noise upon arrival. "A couple of hours. It's about nine o'clock and visiting hours are up but I wanted to stay until you were awake. Do you need anything?"
Liz shifted slowly in her bed and felt the effects of her surgery as her stomach began to ache. She moved another inch to get into a better position before answering. "Yeah, could you…um, get me a glass…a glass of water." She got out as she went to lick her extremely dry lips.
She heard the footsteps of someone walking away but the hand she held never let go of hers. "Who else…is um, who else is here, daddy?"
Her father cleared his throat as he glanced over his shoulder to the other person in the room. He nodded his head and grabbed the glass of water when it was handed to him. He let go of Liz's hand and told her that he was going to raise her bed up.
He hit a few buttons and her bed slowly began to rise. He hadn't told her who else was in the room and she was getting antsy. "Daddy, who else is here?" She asked as she tried to open her eyes but was having a hard time fighting the medication that she was on.
"Lizzy, just drink this. It'll make you feel better." He told her as he handed the water to her.
She reached absently for it but was struggling to get her grip on the glass. She suddenly felt another hand cover hers to steady her balance. "Here, take a sip Ebby."
Liz brought her head forward and let a small amount drop into her mouth before realizing who else was in the room. Her head snapped up and she tried with all her might to open her eyes and keep them from closing again. "Justin?"
"Yeah, it's me." Justin replied as he took a seat in the swivel stool that was designated for the doctor but he had no other place to sit.
"But…but how? Why?" She asked, trying to understand what was going on. "Have I been asleep for a week?" She finally got out.
Justin wasn't due back for another week or so but here he was. She didn't get it.
He placed the glass behind himself and heard Liz's father get up. "I'll leave you two alone. I'm going to see if I can get your stay extended. Be back in a minute." He said as he walked out of the room to let Justin and Liz talk.
Liz heard the door close behind him and suddenly became very nervous to be here with him. "Justin, what are you doing here?" She asked again since he hadn't answered her yet.
She felt him move closer to her and touch her hand. It was warm and smooth and she felt her body melt under that simple gesture. She had missed him so much and now he was here, but why?
"Ebby…" He started as he leaned closer to her and breathed against her cheek. "I couldn't stay away. I didn't want to be apart from you when you needed me."
She inhaled sharply and fought off the tears that wanted to escape now. She wouldn't lose it tonight. "Justin, I don't understand. What about the shows?"
He shifted his weight around and made himself more comfortable in the chair. He brought a hand up to her forehead and glided it down over her cheek. She felt his thumb rest on the base of her chin and started to lift it. "Yeah, we canceled the shows. I couldn't do it any longer over there. I had to see you. Had to be with you. The guys understood and I hope the fans will too, but I couldn't breathe over there. I couldn't do anything but think about you so I hopped a plane and came back."
She brought her hand up to touch his and slowly began to open her eyes. She had to blink several times in order to focus in on his face but when she saw it, hers fell.
His eyes were puffy, from crying she thought. His skin looked rough and unshaven. He appeared to be a walking zombie to her and she cringed at the site. "Justin, what happened to you?" She asked, replacing the feel of his hand with the feel of his face. His once soft, youthful face was transformed into a withered old man.
He sighed when she touched him. He had longed to have her hands on him again and here she was. "Ebby, don't worry about me. I'm here for you, remember?" He asked as he turned his face and placed his lips on the inside of her palm.
She smiled at the gesture but kept the concerned look on her face. "I know but Justin, I told you not to do this. Those people, those kids, they love you. They won't understand why you pulled out of the shows. They'll be after my head when they find out. Why?"
He brought her hand off his face and clasped it with his own. His fingers played with hers as he looked down in wonder. "Ebby, I know they'll find out sometime but right now, I don't care. We made up a story that I was sick and had to return home. I don't know when it'll catch up with me but as long as I'm with you, no one will know a thing. I just couldn't take it any longer. My mom tried to talk me out of it but she knew I HAD to do this. I wasn't going to let you go another day without me by your side."
"Justin, you can't…" She started to complain but he interrupted her.
"Listen, I don't want to hear another word. It's done. I can't go back to Europe and say 'Oops, I made a mistake, I'm all better now.' Ebby, I left and I'm not going back until you're okay. However long it takes, I'm here."
She heard the words but there was something that bothered her about what he said. "Justin, what do you mean you're not going back until I'm better? You guys weren't planning on going to Europe for quite awhile. You know you have touring and recording to do here." She didn't like the fact that he wasn't looking at her when she spoke to him. She didn't like it at all.
"Don't worry about what I said. I'm not here to talk about stuff that can wait. I just want to give you whatever you need. Whatever I have to give is yours." He said as he leaned down next to her and rubbed his stubble chin against her smooth face.
She moved around when the prickles were poking her skin but she relished in the closeness again. She didn't question his motives or what he had been talking about. She would do that later. Right now, she was beyond tired and wanted to rest. "Did you mean what you just said?" She asked as he slowly raised his head merely inches up to let his eyes land on hers. His face showed confusion and she finished her thought. "About giving me whatever I want?"
He nodded his head, not knowing what she was going to ask. "Yeah, whatever you want."
She smiled tenderly at him and scooted her aching body over to the side of the enormous hospital bed. He looked at her strangely when she pulled away from him but after she turned down the covers, he knew what she wanted.
He raised his eyebrows in question and she merely nodded, telling him that she would be okay. He hesitated a second but then reached down to remove his shoes. He glanced back at the door, knowing that her father would return any minute but when he looked at Liz lying in the bed, pleading with him to stay, he took a deep breath and climbed in beside her.
He was very careful of the tubes that were attached to her hands and shifted nervously in the bed. She told him to get comfortable then she would move to fit him. He couldn't believe her. Here she was, just out of major surgery, a future of uncertainty, and asking for him to get comfortable. He just shook his head and tried his best to move his long body around on the crumpled bed sheets.
She cheered when he finally stopped moving. Those actions had made her queasy and she thought for a moment that she was on board a cruise ship out at sea. Once he finally stopped, she let out a sigh and slowly slid her body closer to his.
She reached for her stomach – which the painkillers were still going strong but she could feel the ache inside – as she shifted her weight around. She wanted to be as close to him as possible and relaxed when her head touched his shoulder. They couldn't snuggle together like she wanted to but this was good enough.
The lights were still on but Justin didn't care to turn them off. He wouldn't move for anything. For this moment, he felt that when he closed his eyes, he and Liz were at his house, relaxing and getting ready for bed. He didn't want to imagine her in this place where no one stays without being in some kind of pain.
He heard her sigh and felt her free-of-tubes hand reach beside his thigh and clasp his own hand. She twirled her fingers with his and fell asleep almost instantly. He turned his head slightly so he could place a soft kiss on her head then returned to his original position and closed his eyes. The light never bothering his own tired body.
They laid there, looking like sleeping angels when Jack Matthews found them. He had returned with a nurse several minutes later. He wanted to give them as much time together before he came back in to tell Liz goodnight. She needed her rest and he was dreading the inevitable by having to drag Justin away from her but when the nurse said that he could stay as long as Liz was okay, Jake agreed.
The nurse went over to Liz's side of the bed and checked her pulse, her IV and even gave her another round of painkillers to get her through the night. When she was finished with the sleeping child, she returned to her father. "Mr. Matthews, if you want, I can fix up the chair over there. It pulls out into a small bed that isn't very comfortable but at least you would be nearby if she needs you." She said, pointing to the greenish looking lump of a chair in the corner of the room.
Jack looked at the chair then back to the bed. He shook his head and smiled to the nurse. "No thank you. I think my daughter is in good hands right now."
She agreed and the two of them left the room, turning off the lights and letting Justin and Liz have their night together. They wouldn't be this content for much longer. Liz had to recover from surgery then begin the long battle against chemo very soon.