Are you surprised it's me? I know I never seemed the type to act that way, but something about Abby made me realize just how precious life was. I was so foolish when I let my wild ways get the best of me. I took risks everyday but never stopped to think who I wold be leaving behind if I got hurt. I thought if I didn't do those things when I was young, then by the time I got older, my body wouldn't be able to handle it. I wanted to be young and reckless. I thought that was living, boy was I wrong.

I had pictured this world as one big adventure; meet a new face then go to the next, never stopping along the way. What I didn't think about was that I never had anyone to share it with. Oh, sure I had the guys, they were always there, but when I came home, no one was there for me to tell my hopes, my dreams, even my fears to. I owe them everything but I found that I was missing the one thing I needed the most: LOVE.

Love? You say. But you were loved by so many. That's true but that was superficial. The fans saw me as a flirt, the 'happy-go-lucky' one of the group. They never once saw ME. I can't hold anything against them because I never acted any other way. I put up a façade to try to appear happy all the time but the reality of it was that I was very lonely. I needed hope. I needed acceptance. I needed love.

Abby gave all that to me. Nothing ever romantic came about between us, but I consider her my truest love. The courage and kindness she showed me will forever be apart of me. she taught me to love myself, without hesitation. Taught me to accept everyone as being special. She took me off the winding path I was traveling and helped me see the better way to go.

I learned to love music even more from her. The way she quoted poems and famous authors made me feel and understand the words I was signing. Her blindness never came between her and her life. She only became more aware of things around her, and by doing so, helped me see the world through her eyes – and what a sight it was.

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Happy with Joey, then you can go home now