"Hello."
"Hey honey, how's Louisiana?" Lynn asked on the other end.
Justin sighed heavily before answering his mother. "Well, it's okay I guess. Brit's made at me, I didn't sleep well last night, I totally embarrassed myself in front of JC, and to top it off, I can't find my Eminem CD." He replied as he was tearing up his hotel room in search of the CD.
Lynn chuckled to herself at her son's troubles. "Honey, why do you insist on listening to that music anyway."
"Maaaaaaa." Justin whined but then yelled in joy as he held up the CD that had been inside one of Chris' bags. "I'll get that boy when he gets back." He said into the phone.
"What?" His mother asked but he apologized immediately. "Listen, why is Britney upset with you anyway. I thought everything was going good for you two." She asked, not really wanting to lead on that she knew about Liz just yet. She wanted to find out how Justin felt before she said anything.
If Justin didn't return the feelings she was sure Liz had towards him, then by her saying something about it would only cause Liz more heartbreak and Justin to pull away. She had to be careful what she said even to her son.
Justin again sighed into the receiver. "Mom, can I talk to you for a sec?" He asked, ready to tell her about what he had done. She said 'yes' and he continued. "Well, Brit's mad at me because on the ride here I just ignored her. Yeah, we were fine but I think she wants more again from me. We talked the other night and she is really lonely right now. I feel bad for her but by leaving her out, she's hurt. She's at home now and hasn't called or anything. I need to call and apologize I guess but I just didn't want to talk about anything yesterday."
When he finished, Lynn was curious as to why. "So what happened for you to ignore her? Did you get in a fight?"
Justin knew it was now or never. He took a deep breath and placed a hand on his head to rub his temples. This would be harder than he thought. He sat down on his bed and noticed his reflection in the mirror. He had dark circles under his eyes. That wasn't too uncommon for any of them due to the outrageous schedule they had but his were there because of Liz.
He couldn't sleep last night or the one before. His mind wondered back to the dream but he couldn't get Liz to appear again. It was no use. He tossed and turned all night and nearly drove Chris crazy. He remembered getting a pillow slammed on his head about 3:00 a.m. due to his constant sighing.
Chris was now in JC's room sleeping. He had to have a nap before the show that night.
"No, we didn't have a fight. It's just that, well…okay, here it is. I kissed Ebby the other night and when I called her last night, we sort of decided it was a mistake and that we should just be friends – or that's what she agreed to but that wasn't what I wanted to know. I wanted to see if she felt anything when I kissed her but the words just didn't come out right and then I got tongue-tied and she ended hanging up on me and I haven't talked to her since." He said as he took in another huge gulp of air.
Lynn sighed herself over the phone. "Honey, I have to admit that I already knew that." She heard Justin ask her how and she continued. "Well, I sort of yelled at Elizabeth until she shouted out that the two of you kissed. Now, I don't know the full story and to tell you the truth, I really don't want to know. What I do know is that I sent her home yesterday to get some rest but today she looked even worse. She didn't sleep last night although she told me she did. I can just tell. And she was completely miserable today when I told her that the girls were coming back to open for you guys."
"WHAT? You're coming back?" Justin asked, unaware that the plans had changed. He thought another group was going to open for them when Sisqo left the tour.
"Yeah, Johnny called yesterday and invited us back towards the end of July to finish up the tour with you boys. And Elizabeth nearly fainted when I told her. She might have agreed to this 'just friends' thing but the look on her poor face said volumes about how she was feeling. She is crazy about you, that's for sure."
Justin got a huge smile on his face and he sat up straight before talking again. "Really? Man, I thought she hated me for what I did. I knew she was acting strange last night when I called but she hung up on me so I didn't want to bother her again."
"Honey, now don't get too excited about this. Elizabeth has so many issues she's trying to deal with. She hasn't said much to me but I can see a change in her, not only with the way she acts around the office or on the road but in the way she interacts with the girls. She is definitely lightening up and having a good time and I think that is what's wrong with her."
Justin had no idea what she was talking about at that moment. "Ma, what do you mean? I would think that Ebby would enjoy the new her."
"Justin, I think what's wrong is that she is finally doing something SHE wants to do. She isn't trying to be a forty-year old woman but a twenty-year old instead. She hasn't been a young girl without feeling that she has to fight everyone around her. You probably know more about all of that than I do but from what I've seen, she is having an inner battle with herself and I assume most of it has come from the kiss you planted on her." She finished with a little chuckle. She could just see her son's cheeks growing red with that last part of her sentence.
"Mom, I didn't 'plant one' on her. I just…"
"Honey, I'm kidding. But you know what I mean about the other stuff. I think being around the girls and you has shown her what she has missed out on and she wants to be with you guys but for so long, her goals have never included friends."
Justin knew exactly what his mother was talking about now. "Yeah, I know she said she didn't want a relationship right now but I tell ya, the way she kissed me…DAMN I thought I'd…"
"JUSTIN! First off, watch that language and second, I don't need the details. I don't have a problem with you and Elizabeth being an item if that's what you decide to do but I don't want to hear about what goes on. I trust that you wouldn't do anything I KNOW you shouldn't and that's all I'm saying about that."
"Sorry mom. Its just that I was so certain she felt the same way but last night she said she only wanted to be friends. What do I do now?" He needed his mother's help more than ever.
"Justin, I think you need to accept her request and do what she wants. If she does like you, it certainly won't go away because she will be seeing you in a few weeks. Other than that, just be yourself and be her friend. She has a lot going on inside and I would hate for her to rush into anything right now. She has done the same thing all her life and now suddenly after a few weeks here in Florida, everything has turned upside down. Give her some time. If she comes around then act on it but if not, just be her friend."
Justin sighed for the um-tenth time in the last few minutes. "I know what you're saying but can I do it? I don't know…hey, can we possibly talk about something other than Ebby right now? My mind is racing and I still have a show tonight to do."
"Sure we can. So, what are you going to do about Britney?" She asked.
Justin started rambling off ways to make it up to his friend without her thinking there was more to his apology. He knew that Brit wouldn't like the fact that he wanted to see what Liz did but didn't want to lead her on either.
In his mind, he knew she would always be around – always be there to pick up the pieces if he got burned, but what Liz had said before was running through his mind. She told him that if he ever wanted a relationship to work, than for his sake and the girl's, he had to stop going back to Britney. If she wasn't the girl for him then he had to keep it on a friendship level only.
He knew this was what had to be done if he wanted Liz but since she wasn't sure what SHE wanted, he would hold out on telling Britney. He just couldn't handle letting go of what they had until he knew for sure that Liz wanted him.
'I know that's such a guy thing to do but I can't go through this alone'. He said to himself.
"Hold on. Just a minute. Oh, please don't hang up." Liz said aloud as she fiddled with the key to her apartment. She couldn't get the door opened but heard the phone ringing on the other side.
When she was finally able to get the key to fit into the lock, she turned it just enough to allow the door to open. She left the key in its place and ran over to her cordless phone that was on the couch.
The answering machine had just picked up but cut off when she said 'hello'.
"Hey pumpkin, how are you?"
Liz walked over to the door, grabbed her keys and then shut it before collapsing on the couch. No other voice on earth could compare to her father's at that very moment. Had he read her mind and knew she wanted to talk to him?
"Hey daddy. I'm fine. Did mom tell you I called last night?" She asked as she brought a hand down to her feet and took off her shoes with it.
"Actually, she's the reason I called. She told me that you sounded funny last night so I thought I'd hear for myself. So what's up?"
Liz sighed heavily. She wanted to just crawl into bed at that moment. Work had been awful after she spoke with Lynn. She couldn't get her mind off the fact that not only would she have to spend time on Britney's tour and POSSIBLY see Justin but had to go back and work with them at the end of July. She spent most of the afternoon banging her head on her desk. She now had a small lump on her forehead and an aching headache from torturing herself.
"Daddy, can I talk to you for a sec?" She asked as she dug into her purse to extract a small pillbox. She opened it up and took out two white pills, placed them in her mouth and swallowed them dry.
She made an awful scrunched up face before coughing once to get them down. 'Remember water next time', she told herself.
"Sure honey. Your mother isn't home yet from work so I have awhile. Shoot."
Liz wiggled herself lower on the couch until her back rested on the soft cushions. She sighed, happy that he would have her full attention for a few minutes at least. She knew her father was the only person she could really talk to about her problems – Justin and many others.
"Dad, I just don't know what's going on with me anymore." She started but her father interrupted when she didn't continue.
"Sweetheart, what do you mean? Does this have anything to do with work or those boys you were with last week?" He asked, figuring that one or the other MUST be the source of her distress.
"Both." She said as she took a deep breath, hoping her father would give her advice as to what she should do now. "Work is going better than expected. I love my boss to death and the girls are so wonderful. I really hope they make it big. They so deserve it. I have learned so much about them this past week on the road, so much more than I thought I ever would. They are becoming some of my closest friends and I adore them."
"Then what's the problem, dear?" Her dad asked when he couldn't figure out what the deal was.
"Daddy, it's just that – I like them so much but I have to leave at the end of the summer. I've never had such good friends in my life and…and I don't know if I want…want to, um…" She started but couldn't finish her sentence.
Her dad could, though. "You don't know if you want to leave them or not, right?"
She sighed yet again and grabbed a pillow to cuddle with. "Yeah." She said with a saddening tone to her voice. "I know this is so sudden but what would you say if I stayed here and took courses at UCF to get my degree instead of going back to Maryland?" She knew this was a long shot but she had to see what he would say.
Her father would give his opinion without putting himself in the mix. Her mom was different. If the subject didn't concern her, then she made it.
"So, has Mrs. Harless offered you a permanent job yet?"
Liz sucked in a huge gulp of air before answering him. "Well, not exactly."
She heard her father exhale as he thought about her comment. "Honey, I think you need an offer before you even think about staying in Florida, don't you?"
Liz sighed, knowing her father was right but the possibility of staying had been on her mind for the past 24-hours. "Daddy, I know but I'm just saying IF I'm offered, would it be okay if I stayed. I really love it here and love what I'm doing. I know I'm young but I think Lynn is very pleased with my work and knows how much I enjoy being around her and the girls."
"Lizzybe, you sound like you just might stay with or without a job. I don't have a problem with you doing what YOU want to do but does this decision…or possible decision have some other meaning behind it?"
Liz's father knew her TOO well. She knew it was now or never. "Dad, I think for the first time, I have found a group of people I want to be around for a long time. But there MIGHT be another reason. See, there's this guy and…"
"Okay, stop right there." Her father commanded.
Liz became very nervous all of a sudden. Her father didn't sound like his normal happy self. Was the lecture about to start? She didn't have long to think about that because he started back up.
"Elizabeth, now I know the last time I talked to you, you had just come back from the first night's concert and ranted and raved about those boys. I told you to think about what YOU wanted to do and have fun but I didn't mean for you to fall for some boy, then up and decide to quit school, stay in Florida for him and hope your boss offers you a job. Are you out of your mind?"
"Dad, you sound like mom." She said but he interrupted her.
"Young lady, if your mother ever got wind of this, she would be on the first plane to Orlando and haul your little butt back here and you know it. Now, I want you to have fun and learn all you can while you are working in Florida but IF you decide to stay, do it for yourself and not for a boy."
Liz was taken back by his last statement. "You mean I could stay if I wanted to? But I thought you were mad about it."
"Honey, I don't like the fact that you want to give your education a backseat to these friends of yours but if you continued school down there, then that would be okay. As far as giving up the past three years of school for a boy – I don't think so. You have only been in Florida for a month and I have heard the way you've changed but I wonder if it's just because you're out on your own, without your mother looking over your shoulder all the time or if this new you is here to stay. I just want you to be sure of what you want because if you stay, you will need to be certain in order to deal with your mother. I will be right behind you in any decision you chose but make sure this is what you truly want."
His tone softened at the end and he took another deep breath before picking his speech back up.
"Now, enough about what might happen and let's talk about what HAS happened. Tell me about this boy."
A small smile spread across Liz's face. For the first time in the past few days, she was actually looking forward to talking about Justin. "Daddy, he is just so amazing. He has the most breathtaking blue eyes that I've ever seen. And when he smiles at me, I feel like I'm ten again. But daddy, it goes so far beyond the outside with him."
She took a few seconds to get her thoughts in order before telling her father about the man who invaded her every moment.
"He has this incredible presence about him that makes me just want to be around him. He talks to me like I am just an ordinary girl – he makes me want to BE an ordinary girl. I don't feel that I have to try to impress him by talking big or anything like that. I feel my age with him and its fun to be 21 for the first time. I actually feel more alive than I ever thought possible. He makes me laugh and cry at the same time. He brings me to my knees but holds me up simultaneously. It's truly amazing what he does to me, dad, and he never asks for anything in return. He is just absolutely…well, wonderful." She said as she hugged her pillow tighter to her chest.
She smiled brightly at the thought of Justin.
Her father chuckled aloud as he could picture his daughter for the first time falling for this 'wonderful' guy. "So, does this guy have a name? What about college? Does he go to UCF, or maybe Rollins? Tell me more LizzyBe."
Liz's smile faded when she realized she had to finish her description of Justin. Up to now, it sounded like her father was very interested but after she explained exactly WHO this amazing creature was, he may not be as happy.
"Um, well, he's not in college now."
Her dad laughed whole heartily for the first time since calling his daughter. "I know he's not in school now because it's summer but where does he go in the fall?"
Liz giggled a second before calming down and told her dad the truth. "I wasn't trying to be funny here. He isn't in college now nor when fall starts either. He sort of doesn't go to school at all."
"Huh? Oh, I get it. My, my you picked an older man. Well, your sisters will definitely be jealous to find out that their youngest sister has a boyfriend that actually has a job and they don't. Okay so what did he graduate in and where does he work?"
Liz didn't like this conversation one bit anymore. If she was going to get this out, she had to do it now. "Daddy, please just listen and let me finish before you say another word, okay?"
She heard her father say 'okay' and she took another quick breath to calm herself before she uttered the words that would either make him extremely happy or break his heart.
"He doesn't go to college because he doesn't have time with all the traveling he goes on..."
"Oh, so he's…" Her father tried interrupting.
"Dad, you said you wouldn't interrupt." Again she heard her father say 'okay' and she was told to continue.
"Well, he travels a lot because he has to make appearances almost every week. He is a pretty popular guy around here. In fact, he can't go anywhere without being hounded by fans and stuff…"
Her father just had to cut in now. "FANS! Who is this boy Elizabeth? Not one of those singers you saw in concert? It can't be one of those boys that all the girls in my school go crazy for. Tell me that it's a politician or someone like that. Please don't tell me he's a member of that boy band of yours."
"Daddy, you don't even know him…"
"I don't need to have met him to know what kind of person he is. Elizabeth, you have been raised with a good head on your shoulders but I'm afraid I would have to say that right now, you are acting worse than Katie McKnight and her crush on that boy from 'Cruel Intentions' or something like that…"
"Well, he does sort of look like Ryan…" She tried to interrupt to make a joke but her father didn't like it at all.
"That's not funny young lady and you know it. I just can't believe you have fallen in love with some boy in a band and…"
"Dad, I'm not in love with Justin. We're just friends but…"
"No you don't. You do not pour your heart out to me about how wonderful this Justin character is and then say that you aren't in love with him because I can hear it in your voice but honey, listen to me. This boy will only use you and hurt you in the end. Rock stars, singers, whatever you want to call them only have one thing on their mind and it usually involves very little clothing if you know what I mean."
"Dad, I'm not in love with Justin and please stop with this sex talk, he's not like that. He wouldn't use me just for…" She had to stop her sentence. He DID use Britney when it was convenient so MAYBE he would do the same to her. 'UGH! This is too confusing right now.' She said to herself.
"Lizzy are you still there?" Her father asked when he didn't hear her voice any more.
"Yeah, dad, I'm still here. I get what you're saying but I don't know. I mean, Justin is just so incredible but I guess maybe I do just have a crush on him. Any girl would be taken back if she received the attention he has given to me and even more so when we kissed and…"
"WHAT! HE KISSED YOU! You said you were friends. Elizabeth, what is going on?"
Liz smacked herself in the head. She let it slip out before she could stop it. She was so sure that she could talk to her father with a level head but this wasn't the response that she expected from him. He wasn't taking the news very well.
"Um…well we just sort of kissed the other night…but he called last night and we decided to just be friends. Daddy, this won't happen again, I promise…well, I can't really promise because I have to be around him and if the mood is right again, who knows…but I swear I'll try to keep my hormones in check and not let it happen again."
"I did NOT want to know all of that. Sweetheart, do you have any idea what this will do to your mother? To your sisters? What it's doing to me?"
Liz sighed and sat up on the couch. It was now or never to finish her statement. "Dad, I love you with all my heart. You have always been here for me but to tell you the truth, I don't really care anymore about what mom thinks or even what the girls do. For the first time in my life, I am making decisions for ME."
Liz took another deep breath knowing she had to continue. Her dad had to know everything.
"Now, I don't know if Lynn will offer me a job. I don't know if Justin and I will ever be anything more than friends. I don't even know if I want to go back to Maryland in two months. And you know what…that's okay. I am finally having butterflies in my stomach and headaches from worrying about my future. But it's MY future. I don't want to be like mom anymore. I want friends and a family and to just be young. I can't do that with mom hanging over my shoulder telling me to 'rip 'em up and spit 'em out'. I can't do that anymore. I have to do this on my own and see where it takes me. I hope you understand?"
She sat there for a few seconds before she heard her father speak.
"Elizabeth, there are so many questions I want you to answer for me but you know, I'm not going to ask them. All I'm going to say is that I have never been more proud of you than I am right now. You are becoming a woman and growing out of your sister's shadows. I never wanted any of you to be driven like your mother is sometimes but with you especially, I saw that passion more than the others. That worried me. You have so much of her in you and I know how you can fight tooth-and-nail for what you want. And if staying in Florida, FINISHING your degree and working for Mrs. Harless makes you happy, then you reach deep down inside yourself and you do it."
Liz felt on the verge of tears at that moment. Her father was giving his blessing for her to try it on her own. She knew that she wouldn't have a problem transferring schools but would lose a few class credits here and there but that was fine with her. She wanted to do this. She wanted to try it on her own. She WOULD make it. She had that drive in her to never give up. Never quit something. Never… 'then why didn't I give Justin a chance' she said to herself.
"Oh, and one more thing honey, I may support your decision to remain in Florida but I don't know about this boy issue. Please be careful. I don't want you to rush into anything without thinking about it first."
"Dad, I have thought about everything and don't worry. I intend to focus on work and looking into the schools here. I won't have time for a relationship other than friendship with anyone, let alone Justin. He's too busy as it is so that won't be a problem. Really, we're friends and that's all." She finished as she felt a tug in her heart.
Did she really want to just be friends with him? Was she really staying for him?
She still had a lot to think about.
"Well, honey, I think your mother is home so I'll let you go and talk to you soon. Oh, don't worry, I won't say anything to her about this just yet. I'll let you explain it to her if and when you decide to do something. Just remember what I said and make sure you're doing this for YOU."
"I will, daddy. And thank you. You are the best. I love you."
"Love you too, jellybean bye."
Liz slowly pushed the off button on her phone and threw her body back on the couch. She hadn't even really thought about a lot of what she told her father but the words just came out. She had wanted to possibly stay around Florida but until the words left her mouth, she hadn't put any serious feelings behind it.
'What do I do now? Do I go talk to Lynn? Do I wait it out and see what the rest of the summer brings? Do I call Justin and beg him to reconsider this just friends thing? But do I really want him – of course you do, you idiot but you probably lost any chance you had by telling him you felt nothing after he kissed you and being friends would be so supper GREAT'.
She continued this inner battle with herself for several minutes. She at least had some sort of idea of what she wanted but would she have the courage to actually go for it?
She raised her eyes to the ceiling and prayed for the strength to do what her heart was telling her to do.