FANFICTION WALL
"When you want it the most there's no easy way out....
When you're ready to go, and your hearts left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe
And that's the way it is.."
********************
"Thank you Detroit!" Howie Dorough cried to the audience, as the Backstreet Boys took their final bows in Detroit. They'd played three sold out shows there at the Pontiac Silverdome, and tonight was their final one.
"Thank you thank you thank you and thank you again."Nick Carter ran towards the crowd, igniting shrill screams that could've shattered windows. "See ya.."
"We hope you had a great time, thanks for coming out. Peace."Kevin Richardson waved to the crowd.
"Bye!" Brian Littrell yelled "God Bless you all."
Up to the front of the stage sauntered AJ McLean. "I'm AJ, Thanks for coming. Without you there'd be no Backstreet Boys."
The five superstars joined hands and bowed one last time, then left the stage.
The audience remained screaming for a few minutes as the lights flashed, hoping their favorite group would come back out, but they didn't know the strict, no encore policy. Eventually, they wised up and began to flock the exits.
"Did you see Nick?"a blonde girl in a baby blue tank top put a hand to her chest and closed her eyes. "He's so beautiful."
She rambled on, talking to her friend, who wore a Howie T-shirt and clutched the laminate she'd bought before the concert. She also wore a BSB bucket hat, about ten buttons of all the members, and carried a sign that said "I want Howie that way." She was a hardcore BSB fan.
Listening in on their conversation was a brunette girl, dressed casually in khaki shorts, sandals, and a white T-shirt, her hair up in a bun emphasizing her elegant features. She smiled as the blonde girl rambled about how much she loved Nick and how she and he would be so perfect together.
If you only knew who I was...the girl thought. Actually, it was a good thing the girl didn't, or she probably would've joined the gang of Nick Carter lovers who would have torn her limb from limb.
She was Corrie Garrison. Nick's girlfriend.
Out from a vendor's booth came a tall woman with her hair tucked up into a white BSB bucket hat just like the hardcore fan, with sunglasses despite the darkness of the Silverdome.
"Corrie!"the woman cried, running up to her.
"Hey Leighanne."Corrie said, stopping. "Incognito, hey? "
Leighanne Wallace put a finger to her lips in a ssh gesture. "They recognize me now, and maybe its just me, but running away from angry 13 year olds is not my favorite thing." Like Corrie, Leighanne was also a "Backstreet Girl", the longtime girlfriend of Brian Littrell, only he admitted to everyone who'd listen that he was dating her, and she was quickly becoming a celebrity of sorts around the BSB circuit.
"I hear ya."Corrie said. "So, are the guys gone yet?"
Leighanne nodded. "They were gone before the audience stopped screaming. I bet they're at the hotel right now. Unless they got caught in traffic."
Corrie nodded. "Cool, so when do we leave?"
"When the venue clears a little more."Leighanne answered, "We don't want to get mobbed."
Corrie knew that all too well. "Especially god forbid after everyone knows Nick doesn't have a girlfriend. After all, that's what he said to MTV today...did you hear it? Were you there?"
Leighanne nodded, knowing exactly what Corrie was going through. She'd seen the girl's spirit slowly die the past few months, being denied all the time. Nick really did love Corrie, Leighanne had never seen him love anyone as much, but the fact was he was a Backstreet Boy, and not just any Backstreet Boy, but the blue eyed blonde heartthrob who drew in his crazy little fans by the busload. His relationships, unlike those of the others, had to be kept a secret.
"Honey, I know."Leighanne said. "It hurts."
"It does."Corrie said. "I've been thinking a lot about it......"
Her voice trailed off until Leighanne knew there was something she was leaving unsaid, so Leighanne took her arm and led her backstage, passing the security guards with a smile. They all knew her, knew both of the women.
Back by the gates where the busses had been parked, Leighanne removed her hat and sunglasses. "Talk."
Corrie shivered, "Leigh, I can't do this anymore........"she sniffled. "I love him so much....and I don't even exist. You know what its like."
"I do."Leighanne said, putting an arm around the younger girl. "I know how much it hurts."
"I'm going home."Corrie blurted.
Leighanne was shocked. "What?"
Corrie began to pace nervously forth, fidgeting frantically. "I've got a plane ticket and I'm almost all packed. I'm going home, I can't take this anymore. It was fine in the beginning, because it was between albums, and they were kind of out of the spotlight, and Nick and I could do things together in public and it didn't really matter. But ever since Millennium, we're......It's like I'm invisible, like I'm not really here. Like at the Billboard awards-"
Leighanne nodded. "I feel terrible about that whole night. He really wanted you there. Corrie, this isn't Nick's fault."
"I know. I know, I love him so much and this hurts so bad..."Corrie choked up.
"Does he know?"
Shaking her head, Corrie flopped down on a cement block. "I'm gonna tell him tonight, I didn't want to ruin the show."
Leighanne nodded, understanding. A van pulled up and the gates opened.
"Evening' Ladies."Bruce, the driver grinned as they got in.
The ride to the hotel was about fifteen minutes long, Corrie never said a word. Leighanne watched the younger girl with a mixture of sorrow and pity. Corrie was like her little sister, she'd taken Corrie under her wings when she and Nick had first gotten together and now their whole world was falling apart, once again because of fame. She'd seen it happen to the guys a million times before, each one of them had had their heart broken by a girl who couldn't hack it.
Leighanne had never even imagined Corrie would be one of those.
When she and Nick had first met, at a party thrown by AJ's now long gone girlfriend Stephanie, who had been Corrie's good friend, the two had hit it off instantly, and spent the whole night talking and laughing oblivious to the crowd of partiers around them. From there, they had been inseparable, fell in love, started dating, and when the BSB headed back out on tour of course Nick asked Corrie to come along. She agreed, and they were off.
Corrie had been informed of the no girlfriend policy that Nick still had to obey, and had been fine with it, in the beginning, but as time went on she saw that the other four guys were allowed to admit and date anyone they wanted, while Nick still had to obey and deny everything.
Nick was crazy about Corrie, that much was obvious to anyone who'd ever seen them together. He couldn't stay away from her, stared at her, and loved her beyond anything on earth. She even hit it off with the rest of the Carters, Aaron adored her, Jane saw her as another daughter.
Denying Corrie and his relationship was slowly destroying them both. Leighanne knew that...After all, she and Brian were openly a couple, and they hardly got to see each other as it was, in between concerts and interviews, and photo shoots, and rehearsal and recording.
Leighanne felt Corrie's pain, and wished there were something she could do.
The van pulled up to the hotel, and let the two women out. They went inside, ignoring the craze of fans camping outside, and headed to the elevator, which took them up their private floor, which every entrance to was guarded by armed security guards.
The guards knew Leighanne and Corrie, and tipped their hats as the two women got off the elevator.
"Hi Corrie."One said. His name was Jason, she knew him too well. The two of them had become Songburst experts while the BSB were off at awards shows Corrie wasn't allowed to go to. Jason was cool, 28 and huge, and a totally awesome guy who Corrie didn't actually mind spending time with.
"Hey Jase."she smiled at him and continued walking toward the rooms.
"Good night."Leighanne said softly to Corrie, giving her a hug. "I'm really gonna miss you little girl. Maybe Nick can talk you out of it, he's good at sweet talking."
Corrie grinned . "I know, but I don't think he can change my mind on this one."
"I'm really sorry this didn't work out."Leighanne said. "Try to sleep, talk to Nick, and I'll see you in the morning."
Corrie nodded and went in the room she shared with Nick. She heard the shower running and knocked.
"I'm back."she called.
"Hi!"he called back happily. "I'll be out in a second."
"Take your time."she replied.
Putting her purse down, she surveyed the room. It was like a million rooms they'd shared before, artificially clean and cozy, with fakely elegant decor that made her roll her eyes in all its cheesiness. Their suitcases were spread across an entire wall, stuff everywhere as usual. Neither of them were organized, the others called them the "chaos kids."
She sat down on the bed and picked up a picture frame that contained a sweet picture of her and Nick on a boat, both grinning and squinting from the sun, out on the coast of Florida somewhere, away from everyone.
Nick....she thought I love him so much...
From outside, she heard the screams of fans crescendo.
But I can't do this anymore.
She pulled out her pajamas, flannel pants and a tank top, and slipped into them, then let her hair down from the messy bun it had been in, then sat back down on the bed with a copy of "A midsummer nights dream," her favorite book.
The bathroom door opened, and he came out in a blue bathrobe, his blonde hair still dripping wet, and his face flushed red from the heat.
"Hey."he said, leaning down to drop a light kiss on her lips.
"Hi."she replied smiling. "Did you have a good show?"
He sat down beside her and began to play with her hair, running his fingers through it. Corrie smiled.
"Auto-pilot."he answered honestly, as usual. "It used to be fun."
"You still love it, don't give me that."she said, her voice still soft. "You'd rather do this than anything else on earth, admit it."
He knew she was right. "You know me too well."he replied. They were both silent. "I'm sorry about earlier...."
She pretended to not know what he was talking about. "What for?"
Corrie was a horrible liar, and they both knew it. He turned her face to make her look at him. "The interview.....when I said I didn't have a girlfriend. You know it's policy, right?"
She nodded and turned back away from him, not wanting him to see the tears in her eyes. "I know. I'm a policy..."
"No."he said. "I didn't mean that, Corrie...."
She rolled off the bed and went for her suitcase, and began putting things in it. "I know you didn't....This...I've been thinking a lot lately, I mean, since after all that is all I'm allowed to do. There is no point in my being here. I can't go anywhere with you, I can't hold your hand, I can't kiss you or hug you or do anything except at night in hotel rooms after shows when you're exhausted. Nick, I want more than this."
"I love you."he managed, his voice breaking. "Please don't..."
"I'm leaving."she said clearly. "I'm going back home. Believe me, I don't want to....I want to be with you, I just don't want to be here anymore. I hate this whole secrecy thing, I understand now exactly everything Leighanne told me at the beginning. "her voice was breaking horribly, and she was visibly shaking. "I'm sorry...I....I can't.."
He took a step forward and caught her as she crumpled into his arms, both were sobbing so hard that talking anymore wasn't an option.
You can't leave..Nick desperately wanted to yell...I love you, I need you. But he kept his mouth shut and inhaled the fragrant aroma of her Herbal Essences.
"I leave in the morning."she said. "I have an eleven o'clock flight, so I won't be there when you guys head out, and I can't say I'm not glad. I'm tired and I'm lonely and I want my dogs, and I want someone who.........I want a normal guy."
"I love you."
"I love you, Nick, you know that...."she answered, her voice hoarse and still cracking. "But sometimes just loving someone doesn't mean a damn thing. This is one of those times. "
There was dead silence, then he took a deep breath. "So, what time should I wake you up tomorrow?"
"I set the alarm."her voice was cold now.
He shook his head. "You didn't need to. I won't sleep at all tonight."
She looked up at him with red, watery eyes, and nodded. "I doubt I will either."
**************************
"She's leaving?"Brian asked Leighanne as the two got ready for bed. She sat at the mirror, brushing and braiding her long blonde hair.
Leighanne nodded. "You guys don't understand how hard it has to be for her. You don't have to deny me anymore...I don't have to be hidden and a secret. Nick still has to hold up that whole charade, and its gotta be killing both of them. I remember what it was like, when I was the one the bodyguards left to fend for herself, it's beyond terrible."
He came up behind her and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "I know....baby,I'm sorry about that. "
"I 'm over it, I know you didn't want it anymore than Nick does, but poor Corrie's gotta feel like she's trapped." Leighanne stood up and went over to her suitcase and ruffled around for her toothbrush. Traveling was fun, but she still needed to figure out where she put everything, or where things ended up.
Brian stood there, knowing she was telling the truth. If anyone knew what Corrie was feeling, it was Leighanne, the longest lasting "Backstreet Girl." She'd been through everything with him, and it had made them only a stronger couple, but he knew that it had been an incredibly shaky beginning.
"You talked to her?"he asked.
"Honey, I've been talking to her from the first moment she and Nick hit it off. I wanted her to know exactly what she was getting into. At first, she was so in love and full of nothing but hopes and big dreams...She loves him, she really really does, more than Mandy or any other girl I've ever seen him with...But then it started to slip to where she's so tired and lonely and bored and sick of being denied and ignored that she feels totally out of place." She pulled out her blue toothbrush and headed to the bathroom, still talking. "Think about it, the rest of you are able to do whatever you want, Nick is still the baby, the heartthrob, he draws in waves of little girls, and the people in charge can't break all those eight year old hearts, not to mention lose all that money."
"I never thought of it that way."Brian answered quietly. "Like at the Billboard awards...."
"When she couldn't go and the rest of you brought the rest of us."Leighanne said. "Do you realize she knows the bodyguards better than she knows you all? How do you think that makes her feel?"
Brian instantly felt horrible. He knew that was aimed at him, and the other three BSB who were always with their own friends and girlfriends. Corrie was a great kid, and she made Nick really happy, and yet Brian suddenly became aware of how she was being treated.
Leighanne turned to face him.
"She's had enough."she said, and closed the bathroom door in Brian's face. "and frankly I can't blame her." she whispered after the door was closed.
*****************************
Nick and Corrie lay in each others arms in the dark, both in their own worlds. Corrie's head was empty of intelligent thought, she was just reflecting on good times, running along the beach and through the woods with him, pillow fights and campfires with everyone.
Her head rested on his chest....This is the last time I'll ever hear his heartbeat.
Nick held her tightly, aware fully that this was probably the last time he'd ever hold her again, except maybe at the airport the next day, if she'd even allow that. He was grateful for this one last time, though.
Songs kept popping in his head, cheesy songs like "From the bottom of my broken heart" that stupid song by Britney Spears that he heard every time he turned on the radio; "I knew I loved you" by Savage Garden, the song that was unofficially theirs; and most of all "Don't wanna lose you now" his own song, their current single, and the song that explained it all.
He kissed her forehead and squeezed her tighter, trying to memorize the feeling of her body against his, the warmth of her breath, the feeling of her arms around him. Things he'd likely never feel again.
Funny, he'd finally found someone who he could see himself sharing his life with, and the fact that eight year olds adored him was tearing them apart. He had a sudden urge to pick up the phone and call his "arch rival" NSYNC's Justin Timberlake, whom many considered " the next Nick Carter" and ask if he ever had the same problem.
But that would've meant disturbing the embrace they were in, and nothing in the world was worth that at the moment.
*******************
“Do you have everything?”Leighanne asked as she helped pack Corrie’s bags into the van waiting to take her to the airport.
Corrie shrugged her shoulders.”I hope so, I think everything I’ve ever owned is in these bags.”
As the two women continued loading the van, Nick stood by the hotel door, in silence. He just watched Corrie, trying to memorize every move she made, he didn’t want to let her go.
“Hey.”a friendly voice said from behind him.
“Hey AJ..”Nick said, seeing his comrade.
AJ took a puff of his Marlboro and squinted in the sun. For once, he wasn’t wearing sunglasses. “How you doing?”
Nick shrugged. “I feel like-“
“I can imagine.”AJ cut him off. “Losing the one you love for a stupid reason you can’t control…it doesn’t sound like fun.”
“I can’t make her stay.”Nick said. “Much as I love her, I can’t do it.”
AJ put a hand on Nick’s shoulder. “I know. I’ve been there too, remember…I know way too well how you feel. Amanda left for the same reasons.”
Amanda had been one of AJ’s biggest loves, and another girl who couldn’t handle being ignored and denied all the time.
Corrie turned to Nick, done with packing.
“So you’re leavin' us, huh?”AJ asked her, a sad smile on his face.
She nodded, not smiling at all. “Yep.”
“Come here.”he said, opening his arms. They hugged, and he kissed her cheek. “It was great getting to know you…Make sure you come see us again sometime, okay?”
Corrie nodded, unable to speak. “Tell everyone else goodbye for me too.”she requested.
AJ and Leighanne nodded. “We will.”AJ said.
“Bye sweetie.”Leighanne said, going to hug Corrie too. “Call me when you get home and let me know, okay? Otherwise, I’ll worry all night about you.”
Once again, Corrie nodded.
“Ready?”she asked Nick, and they got in the van.
The trip to the airport was silent, they held hands and peeked over at each other, but didn’t want to say what was on their minds, for fear they’d cry again. The van arrived at the airport and pulled up, the driver got out and helped the attendant carry the bags.
“I suppose you can’t go in.”she said. “You’d be mobbed…Besides, you can’t kiss me goodbye in public.”
Her words weren’t meant to be cruel, but they hurt both of them a lot.
“I wish I could.”he said. “Corrie, I……”
“What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. I love you.”
“I love you.”she said, touching his face with her hands, a longing look in her eyes. “That hasn’t changed. But this whole thing is ridiculous. Whenever you can admit to loving me, then give me a call.”
He nodded. “You’ll be the first.”he said. “So, will I see you at Christmas?.”
She gave him a sad smile.“That’s a long time from now.”
“When will I see you again?”
She thought about it. “I don’t know, Nick. It’ll be hard, to see you, then have to forget about you and go on with my life again…..”
“Please.”
Silence. Then she nodded. “Where’ll you be at Christmas, then?”
“Home. We’ve got two weeks off, and I’m going home. Come with me?”
“I will.”
“Okay.”
“Nick?”
He looked over at her. “Yeah?”
“This isn’t the end of us..is it?”
He wrapped his arms around her. “Not if I can help it.”
*****************
“All you people
Can’t you see can’t you see….”
Miami……Orlando…..Raleigh…..Washington D.C.
“How your loves affecting our reality….”
Philadelphia, New York, big cities, big venues
Huge venues, screaming fans
“Everytime we’re down, you can make it right…”
Another day, another girlfriend rumor to battle and deny vehemently, Mandy Moore, Britney Spears, girls Nick had never met before….
Pulled through screaming crowds of 12 year old in baby blue tank and tube tops by the bodyguards.
“And that makes you Larger than life..”
Flashes of light, awards shows, sold out concerts, adoration of millions…
lonely hotel rooms.
Nick missed Corrie.
*************************
The taxi drove across the lush countryside of Northern Georgia, through peach orchards and rolling hills, until it stopped in front of a huge white farmhouse like something out of an old movie. The house, surrounded by peach trees and flower gardens…as familiar to Nick as his own home, maybe more so, for this home he’d seen more in the past few years than his own.
An old man in overalls and a flannel shirt rose from a rocking chair on the porch, pipe in his mouth just like Nick remembered him.
“Well..”he drawled. “The prodigal son returns home. Bout time, kid.” The smile on his face was brilliant.
“Hey there, DAD!”Nick dropped his bags and hugged the man, both laughing at the form of address Nick had chosen. From the first time Nick had met Corrie’s parents, they’d encouraged him to call them Mom and Dad, rather than Mr. and Mrs. Garrison, a fact Nick loved.
Robert Garrison had made his living on his orchard, and had always dearly loved his family, they always came first. So when his only child, Corrie, had brought home the love of her life, as she’d described him, Robert had warmly opened his heart to the boy, who had turned out to be a celebrity. Many times, Nick had hidden from the pressures of stardom on the Garrison Farm, and become a part of the family.
“Where is she?”Nick asked, excitedly. He couldn’t wait to see Corrie, it had been three months and they’d only talked on the phone.
“In her room.”Robert said. “Let’s surprise her..come on”
The two men went into the house, and Robert went up the grand staircase to fetch Corrie. Nick could her music blaring down the stairs, M2M.
“Don’t say you love me…You don’t even know me.”
He started to panic..Did he really know her as well as he thought? Would she rely be happy to see him? She knew he was coming, but was she happy about it…??
She emerged at the top of the stairs, hair in a messy bun as usual, barefoot, in denim short shorts and a pink t-shirt.
“Still into Cheesy pop?”he asked, indicating the music.
She rolled her eyes in mock disgust. “Ugh! No, I hate it. Especially those damn Backstreet Boys.”
“Oh I know.”Nick said. “They suck!”
She broke down and smiled, then ran down the rest of the stairs and leapt into his arms.
They laughed. “How are you?”she asked, then saw the circles under his eyes. “Oh, you look exhausted.”
“I am.”he admitted. “You on the other hand….”
“You don’t need to start flattering me already. There’s plenty of time for that." She was teasing a little, then grabbed his hand and started leading him towards the kitchen. “Mom’s been baking for days. She’s really excited to see you. Hey mom! Come here!”
Out into the hallway came Caroline Garrison, Nick’s second mom, and her sparkling green eyes lit up upon seeing him in her hallway. Instantly, they embraced.
“Welcome back.”she said.
“Hi mom.”he grinned at Corrie over Caroline’s shoulder. It was good to know he was missed.
Corrie watched, smiling at how well he fit in with her family. It only made her want him more.
Caroline pulled back and looked right at Nick, studying him. “How longs it been since you slept? And I mean more than two hours on an airplane.”
Nick shrugged. “A few weeks probably.”
“Corrie.”Caroline kicked into commander mode. “Help him get settled in, Dinner’ll be ready in a few. Nick, you’d be amazed, Corrie even cleaned her room for you.”
“Mom..”Corrie whined, rolling her eyes.
Caroline winked at Nick. “We missed ya kid.”
Corrie and Nick lugged his bags up to Corrie’s room, the attic loft, where her parents had never had a problem with him staying. It was just as he remembered it. A warm breeze blew the billowing white curtains, and the scent of Vanilla filled the air. The CD player, always on random, shuffled and then began to softly play a Celine Dion song.
Having loaded the last bag, Corrie closed the door behind her. Suddenly, they were alone, and it was awkward.
“So….”she began, trying to think of something to say. “How’s the tour? How’s everyone?”
“Record-breaking.”he answered. “Louder crowds every night.”
She nodded, remembering. “I figured as much. “
“Everyone’s good.”he said. “AJ hooked up with Crissy, you remember her? The redheaded dancer girl. And I think Brian’s gonna ask Leighanne to marry him.”
Her eyes lit up. “Really? Good. Excellent. He should.”
“Pretty much everything else is the same. “Nick said, sitting down on her bed with her. The familiar blue bedspread brought back many memories. “Except God, I miss you..”
They linked fingers, and his thumb gently traced her palm. She leaned back against a huge blue teddybear and he joined her. “I miss you too.”
“Dinner!”Caroline bellowed from downstairs.
*******************
After the delicious dinner, Nick, Corrie, Caroline, and Robert all sat on the porch, drinking iced tea and laughing like a family. Two huge german shepards, Suzi and Cindy, Corrie’s babies, lay at their feet, big doggy grins on their faces. A cat, Princess, perched on the railing by Nick’s rocking chair, occasionally allowing herself to be petted.
Nick noticed Corrie was acting strangely, laughing at her parents more than at him, and not really trying to get in on the conversation, but he didn't pay it much mind. He figured she was just letting him get caught up with her parents.
Robert yawned. “Whew! I am beat. I think I’ll hit the hay.” He stood up and stretched.
Caroline joined him. “Me too, give the two of you a chance to get caught up." She kissed the top of Corrie’s head, then on Nick’s. “Goodnight.”
“Night kids!”Robert called as the parental units went into the house.
“Night.”Nick called. “Your parents haven’t changed at all. They’re great.”
“No, they’re crazy. I love em though.”Corrie replied, reaching down to scratch Cindy’s ears. “They really missed you a lot.”
“Corrie…”
She looked up at him, curiously.
“Are you mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad at you?”she asked, suddenly standing up.
“I don’t know.”he said. “I’m getting that vibe though…”
She folded her arms and looked out over the field. “There’s no point in me being mad at you. You can’t do anything about it.”
He came up behind her and rested his head on her shoulder. “Corrie..”
She pulled away and headed down the steps and out across the field, Cindy and Suzi at her heels. Nick wasn’t sure what to do, should he follow her?
“Let her be.”Caroline said, and Nick turned in surprise. “Sorry, I forgot my glasses. Let her go, she’s real mixed up right now. She’s got real strong feelings for you, Nick.”
“I know.”he said, leaning against the porch railing, watching the tiny silhouette disappear into the peach trees. “What am I supposed to do?” he wondered aloud.
“Well..”Caroline began. “You could just go public, make it known you love her. Because I’m not sure if she believes it anymore…”
Nick was shocked, he’d never known there was any doubt in Corrie’s mind, he’d always just assumed it.
He needed to go public, he knew that, he wasn’t stupid. He knew everyone in charge of his career…or lately, his life, would try to stop him, but he didn’t care. He was 19, not a little kid anymore, and they couldn’t run his life.
But how to go about it?
**************************
Corrie didn’t come back until around midnight, and quietly climbed the stairs to her room, where she found as expected, Nick asleep in her bed. Moonlight came in from the window and cast a dreamy glow around his face. She slipped out of her clothes and into an extra large gray t-shirt and slipped into bed beside him, snuggling up to him.
Nick slept like a rock and didn’t wake up until noon. He heard birds chirping outside the window and saw it was a beautiful day.
He pulled on jeans and a white t-shirt and stumbled down the stairs groggily, following the sound of music coming from the kitchen. It was Fatboy Slim’s “Rockafeller Skank.”
Peeking in the kitchen, he smiled. Corrie, in faded patched jeans and a Dave Matthews Band t-shirt doing dishes and singing along. She didn’t notice him, so he slipped up behind her and grabbed her around the waist.
Corrie screamed, then realized it was him, and swatted him with her dishrag. “You creep!”she squealed. “You scared me to death.”
“I can see that.”he said, picking her up and setting her on the counter. He kissed her quickly. “Morning sunshine.”
“Afternoon.”she said. “I swear, you sleep like a rock. I don’t think you moved at all last night.” Dropping her dishrag in the sink, she scooped up some bubbles and put them on his nose. He laughed and nuzzled her neck, and she giggled.
“I haven’t slept that well in a long time.”he said softly. “It was really nice. How late were you?”
She shrugged and looked at her hands. “Midnightish…”
“Oh..where’d you go?”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Do you want coffee?”She’d already jumped off the counter and was heading towards the coffee maker.
He nodded and sat down at the table. She made him a cup just the way he liked it. “Where’d your parents go?”
“A day trip to Atlanta.”she said. “Something about repairs…I don’t know, I was half-asleep.’
As she ran around making coffee, Nick drifted off into a daydream. In it, this was his house, his life, and the beautiful woman with him was his wife. He really liked that idea, of spending sunny summer mornings with her, and every other moment besides.
She sat down across from him, with her own coffee mug.
“We need to talk, you know.”she said.
He pushed aside his mug. “Yep, I know. I’ve been kind of trying to avoid it.”
Corrie nodded. “Me too. I suppose the precious policy still stands like the damn Berlin Wall.”
He nodded sadly.
“Maybe I’m stupid…”she said. “But I don’t see why they feel they have the right to control your life. Do they really think that if you admit you’re dating someone the fans’ll stop buying records and coming to concerts…or they’ll stop liking you? How come you’re the only one of the entire group who has to keep up this ridiculous charade? If the fans do stop liking you because you have a girlfriend, are they really fans at all?” She put her head down on her arms. “I don’t know….I’m just-it’s just pointless.”
“No.”he said, touching her arm. “I get what you’re saying. I understand. I agree 100 percent, believe me..”
“…when I say, that I want it that way…”she sang out of nowhere. “Sorry.”
He closed his eyes to hide the threatening tears. “I’m gonna make this right, I promise.”
She didn’t answer.
************************
“Damn!”AJ hollered when they finished running the opening number of their concert, dancing full force. “A week off and I’m already out of shape. I’m getting too damn old for this.” He sat at the edge and Crissy ran up to massage his shoulders.
It was run-through a week later, the BSB were back in action. They’d gotten through one song, and none of their hearts were in it, yet they had a show that night and had to quickly get into it.
“Kev?”Nick asked. “You got a minute?”
Kevin managed to pull himself from Fatima, the choreographer who was reteaching a new combo and followed Nick to the edge of the stage.
“What's up?”Kevin asked , slinging a towel over his shoulder.
Nick rubbed his eyes. “When you first wanted to tell everyone you were dating Kristin, did they try to stop you?”
“This is about Corrie..”Kevin said knowingly, a sly smile on his face.
Nick nodded.
“They tried to stop me, yes.”Kevin said in his soothing voice. “But I wouldn’t let them. They can control my career, I handed that over to them when I signed my contract, but I never signed over my life. If I’m going to sacrifice my family and a normal life, I’m at least going to have someone with me when I have a bad day, or when we win an award. That’s all there is to that.”
“So what do you think I should do?”Nick asked him, hoping Kevin would have a solution.
“You’re really losing sleep over this, aren’t you?”The older man asked. “Stand up for what you want, forget the fans……What you, as a man and as a human with a heart, want.”
Nick smiled, knowing what he had to do.
***********************
“Guys,” Carson Daly said a few days later, as they entered the TRL set to a lot of screams. “Great to have you back.”
All five greeted him like the friend he was. Carson was every boyband’s best friend.
Nicks mind was somewhere else, he knew Corrie was watching. He’d called her and told her to be sure to watch, then called Caroline and explained everything.
The managers stood by, nervous as usual, hoping none of the boys would say anything stupid or ruin their careers in a moment. Before the show, he'd been warned forcefully not to admit to having a girlfriend, and as much as he protested, they insisted he not do it.
As Nick sat on the bench, ready for the cameras to roll, he smiled to himself and at Kevin, who knew exactly what was going on with Nick, but wasn't about to stop him. Leighanne sat at the back of crowd, next to Kristin, and the two were nonchalantly talking to fans, posing as cousins and sisters of the boys.
The Show began, they performed, and watched old videos of theirs. Carson asked them some questions about the new album, which Kevin and AJ answered respectively, as planned the morning before. Then Carson went to the audience.
“Hi guys.”A skinny redhead asked. “My name’s Sarah, and I just wanted to know if you had girlfriends..”
The crowd oohed and giggled a little.
“I’m seeing somebody.”AJ said, smiling at Sarah. She pouted a little, but she was crying in happiness anyway.
“Single.”Howie admitted sadly. The crowd cheered.
“I’ve got a girlfriend.”Kevin said.
“Me, too.”Brian said “Sorry.”
Nick didn’t answer, he looked slyly at the camera.
On the floor in front of the TV, Corrie put her hand to her mouth. “No flipping way.”she whispered.
“How about you, Nick?”Carson asked.
“Yes. “Nick said. “I have someone I’m very much in love with.”
Girls in the crowd were devastated; the managers were screaming at each other. Carson went to commercial, and Nick whipped out a cell phone.
“I cannot believe you did that.”AJ said, laughing.
“Corrie?”Nick asked when someone picked up at the Garrison’s.
Nick..”she said. “I cannot believe you just did that.”
“Didn’t I tell you I’d make it right?”he asked, plugging one ear against the screaming of the girls who were all still abuzz that they were in the same room as the BSB.
Corrie grinned to herself. “Yeah…but I didn’t believe you.”
“And now you do?”he hoped.
"I’ll never not believe you again.”she said. “So are the baby blue tubetop girls sobbing and rioting yet?”
He laughed. “They’re stringing AJ up right now, ready to burn us all.”
“I’m…amazed…”she trailed, still shocked.
“Wednesday we head to Tampa.”he said. “I miss you, and Its only been nine days. You up to coming back on the road with us?”
“Does this mean I’ll, dare I say it, get to go out in public with you?”she feigned massive shock.
“The Grammy's are next month.”he said. “I’m not going without you.”
“Do I get to meet Ricky Martin?”she asked.
Nick laughed, then noticed Carson indicating the commercial's were ending. “Yeah…commercial's ending, I gotta go.”
“I’ll be there on Thursday.”she said.
“Love ya.”
“You too. Oh, and say hi to Carson for me.”she giggled. “He’s soo cute!”
Nick laughed and hung up the phone, a new kind of happiness in his heart, He was finally a free man.
AUTHOR: JDarlin
E-mail the author: shinyhappyworld@hotmail.com
