Nick:
I woke up around 5:30pm that afternoon. I was in the same room as Felicia; she was lying next to me, sleeping peacefully. She didn’t want to be alone, so she asked me to stay with her. I looked down at her and had the urge to kiss her, but I had to keep my composure. I didn’t know how long I’d be able to hide my love for her. Everything about her made me want to love her more than I did. Her smile just made my heart skip a beat and she looked like a perfect angel sleeping.
But I knew that I had to keep my feelings to myself, especially now since she’s been through all that. Knowing that, made me want to protect her from all harm. I wish I was there when she went through all that. Knowing she was raped and that I couldn’t protect her broke my heart. But now she was safe and I’m not going to let anything happen to her ever again.
I looked out the window, just thinking about everything, keeping my arms around Felicia. I looked back down at her, when I felt her move. I saw that her eyes were open and she was looking up at me. I smiled at her and she smiled back.
"What time is it?" She asked.
"10 ‘til 6."
"Oh wow, we slept that long. I guess I was really tired."
"Yeah, well I would be too from all the drinks you had last night and all the crying you did."
"Yeah, true. Well, I’m all rested up, for the most part anyway."
"That’s good. What do you want to do tonight?"
"Just stay here with you." That shocked me. Did she feel the same way about me that I felt about her? No, she couldn’t. She just meant that in a friendly way.
"Ok, that’s fine with me."
She smiled and laid her head on my shoulder. I looked back out the window, letting my thoughts run wild.
"Nick?"
"Hmm?"
"What were you thinking about earlier and now?"
"A bunch of things."
"Like what?"
"Just stuff. Dance rehearsal coming up, the new tour, you and stuff like that."
"Oh, ok. Are you mad at me?"
"No, not at all. Why would I be mad at you?"
"I dunno, because of the way I acted earlier."
"It’s in the past, Felicia. Don’t worry about it."
"I know, I’ll try not to. I just have this feeling like you’re mad or disappointed in me."
"Why would I be disappointed?"
"Because I was raped, like I couldn’t take care of myself."
I moved a little so that I was looking at her.
"Felicia, I’m not disappointed in you. I could never be. You’re important to me and I hate that you had to go through that and that I couldn’t protect you."
"But I feel so dirty, like I did something wrong."
"You haven’t done anything wrong at all. It was that bastard that was wrong to do that to you."
She smiled a little and shook her head. I saw that she was almost to tears, so I hugged her as tight as I could.
"It’s going to get better, Felicia. I promise you that."
"I know, but it feels like it’ll never get better." She mumbled into my shoulder.
"It will, I’ll help it get better. I’ll be there for you always."
"Thank you, Nick for being so sweet. I don’t know what I’d do without your friendship."
"Hey, I’m your best bud, and I don’t like seeing you so scared and sad. I want to take all your pain away."
"Thanks, I know you do and I appreciate that so much."
She pulled away and smiled up at me. I smiled back at her. She wiped the tears that were running down her cheek away and began to get up.
"Hey, where are you going?"
"To the bathroom, if you don’t mind."
"Oh, no go right ahead."
She smiled and walked into the bathroom that was in the room. 5 minutes later, she came out.
"I feel a little better. Thanx for everything." She was about to sit down when the doorbell rang.
"I’ll get it, if you don’t mind." She said. I shook my head no in response.
"If you beat me to the door you can." I got up and ran out of the room.
"Hey, that’s not fair!" She yelled after me. I was almost to the stairs when I felt her jump on my back and put her arms around my neck.
"Did I tell you, you could get on my back?"
"Yep, you did." I laughed at her and climbed down the stairs, holding onto her legs. I got to the door and put her down.
"You’re a good escort."
"Glad I could help." She laughed just as the doorbell rang again. She unlocked the door and opened it.
"Hi Felicia." I heard a women say. I looked out the door and saw that it was her mother. That made me angry.
"How the hell did you find her so fast?! My god!" I yelled.
"I saw you at the golf place yesterday and followed you here."
"Ok, that’s illegal. And can’t you just leave her alone?! It’s obvious she doesn’t want anything to do with you. You’ve caused enough pain as it is."
"Look, this is between Felicia and me."
"Not in my house it isn’t."
"Look, you don’t control her. Let her speck for herself."
"She told you to leave her alone many times. Don’t you understand?"
"Stop it you two! Just stop!" Felicia yelled, causing both of us to look at her.
"Melinda, come in and got sit in the living room. Nick come here, I need to talk to you."
Melinda came in and went into the living room. I followed Felicia to the kitchen, closing the kitchen door.
"Why’d you let her come in?" I asked.
"Because I made a decision and I know you’re not going to like it very much. But I have to do this for myself."
What was she getting at?
"Ok, what did you decide?"
"I decided to go ahead and help my brother. It’s not for them or him, although he’s innocent in all of this. But I’m doing this for myself, to help me heal. Because if I don’t, I won’t be happy with myself."
"Why does it have to be this that helps you?
"Because, it does. It’ll get my mind off of myself for once and everything that has happened the past year. Please understand, Nick."
I was silent for a while, thinking about what she was telling me.
"I take it by your silence that you don’t approve. I’d like you to, though. But I want to do this and I’m going to do it."
She began to walk away, but I grabbed her arm and turned her around and hugged her.
"I’m not totally happy about this, but I know you really want to do this, so you can and I’ll be there for you." I said into her ear. She tightened her grip around me.
"Thank you, Nick. I appreciate this so much. I really need you to get me through all of this."
"I know and I’ll always be there for you, through everything."
I pulled out of the hug and looked down at her. She smiled.
"I guess I won’t keep her waiting."
She grabbed my arm and we walked out to the living room. Melinda was sitting on the couch, looking out the window.
"Melinda?" Felicia asked. Melinda looked up at us.
"Look, I know I keep bugging you, but I’m desperate."
"I know and I’ve decided to help him. This isn’t for you; it’s for him and me. Nothing else."
Melinda got up and hugged Felicia.
"Thank you so much. You don’t understand what this means to me."
"No, what it means to him. He’s the one that needs this."
"You’re right, for him."
"Well, does he have a name?"
"Oh, yeah. It’s Jacob and he’s 9 1/2. You can come and meet him tomorrow at All Children’s Hospital. He has therapy in the morning."
"Ok, I’ll be there. What time exactly?"
"8:30 is when we get there."
"Ok, I’ll be there at 8:30. See you tomorrow. Bye."
"Bye Felicia and thank you again."
Melinda left and Felicia sat on the couch, sighing loudly.
"You’re sure about this, right?"
"100% sure. I really want to do this."
"OK, just making sure."
She looked up at me and smiled.
"Thanks for understanding."
"No problem."
I sat down next to her; we sat there in silence for a while. I reclined the part of the couch I was sitting on to get more comfortable. I was still tired from everything that went on the past night.
Felicia laid down and put her head in my lap, getting comfortable. I pulled the blanket that was hanging over the back of the couch and put it over her. I moved some hair out of her face. I watched her fall asleep and then I fell asleep...
