To fall in love again?

Allison blinked back the tears that formed at the last four lines, the lines that hit closest to home for her. J had been her best friend, her first lover, her first and only true love.

Oh you probably won’t remember me

It’s probably ancient history

I’m one of the chosen few

That went ahead and fell for you

I’m out of vogue, I’m out of touch

I fell too fast I feel too much

I thought that you might have some advice to give

On how to be insensitive

Oh I really should of known

By the time your drove me home

By the vagueness in your eyes, the casual good-byes

By the chill in your embrace, the expression on your face that told me

Maybe you might have, some advice to give

On how to be insensitive

(How to be...) Insensitive

(How to be...) Insensitive

(How to be...) Insensitive

Allison backed away as the lights dimmed and the crowd went wild. There was one good thing to this song...everyone could feel it. She rushed to her dressing room before anyone could stop her. Once she was there, she locked the door and started sobbing on her counter top.

Allison looked at her self in the mirror, her eyes turning red and puffy, her make-up, once perfect, now smeared. She didn’t know why, after almost two months, he could still do this to her. J had been like that, he could always get under her skin, and into her heart. Allison pulled the locket from under her costume and opened it. She was still in love with him, it was the only reason she could find for still wearing his picture near her heart.

She looked at his picture, wondering if he still thought about her the way she thought of him. He was always on the road now, too, with his band, N Sync. They were huge in America. In fact, she got her start opening for them. She remember the first time she met him...

“And this is Allison Persian.” Johnny introduced her to the members of N Sync.

They each shook her hand, introducing themselves. He was last, like in all the fan-fictions she had read about them.

“Ally Cat.” Allison blinked, not knowing what he meant. He laughed a little.

“Your first name is Allison, Ally, and your last is Persian, like the cat. I’m going to call you Ally Cat.” he grinned at her, and she smiled back. She had found a friend. It was then she stared calling J, short for his first name. She didn’t like it, so she just shortened it.

Allison looked around, and found herself back in her dressing room. It seemed like she was there again, with him, happy. They became close friends, then after she left the tour, they started a relationship. It was hard, Allison was just starting to get big, J was on tour and recording. But they managed, it was love and Allison was never that happy before. Until that day, a month and a half ago.

“Hey Ally Cat.” J smiled, but with no emotion.

Allison went to kiss him, but he backed away.

“What’s wrong?” she felt her heart beat faster.

“I don’t think we should be together anymore.” He turned away, not being able to look his beloved Ally Cat in the eyes.

Unknowing to Allison, he didn’t want to do this anymore than she did, but management was really putting the pressure on him, with the new album coming out, they needed to boost the fan base. He didn’t have a choice, but he couldn’t tell her that. It would hurt her too much.

“What?” Allison was stunned, not knowing what to say. “Why? J, I love you.”

“I just--can’t do this. I’m sorry Ally.” J kissed the top of her bowed head, and left her alone, both of them in tears.

Allison grabbed her locket in one hand, and tugged hard. The chain snapped in her hand, and she pulled it off. As she got up to unlock her dressing room door to whomever had been pounding on it, she looked at his picture one last time. Snapping it shut, she threw it in the wastebasket and opened the door.

J watched from further down the hallway. He had seen the whole show, including the last song. He couldn’t tell her now, he couldn’t tell her ever. He had hurt her, hurt himself. He had been insensitive, and now it was too late.

Lyrics-'Insensitive' by Jan Arden