Part B
Part 4—The Tweedle Dee
I stood at the rail of the sailboat and watched as the
“BJ!” his brother yelled, startling me, and I hurried
to dial down my hearing. “You’ve got company!”
“What?” The wind carried his voice to us.
“You’ve got company!” But it was obvious the
young man on the pier couldn’t hear him. Blair lowered the telescope he’d
had to his eye and was smiling, and I caught my breath. The sullen expression
was gone. His dark blue eyes were warm, and the wind blew his sun-streaked hair
about his face. My dick chose that moment to rise from the dead. For a moment I
was certain I had seen him somewhere before. Blair looked toward me, and his
expression sobered. “Would you like to go below deck, Jim, and get settled
in?” I nodded, pleased we would be in close quarters together, but then he
continued, “Joel, will you take Jim to his cabin, please?”
“Sure thing, boss.” The big, black man walked toward
me.
“Jim.” There was something about Blair’s voice that
made my dick even harder, and I shifted as unobtrusively as possible. Much to my
relief, he didn’t seem to notice. After all, how embarrassing would that be,
sporting wood like a randy teenager? “First night out is always formal. Do you
have a tux?”
“I have a tux.”
I heard his softly whispered, “Why aren’t I
surprised?” And had to hide my grin at his disgruntled tone.
So, apparently did Joel. He was grinning as he crossed the
deck to the wheelhouse. “This way, Mr. Ellison.”
“Please, call me Jim.” I followed Joel down the stairs
to the companionway that led to my cabin.
“Jim.” He threw open the door and ushered me in. “The
VIP cabin,” he said with some pride. It was a big room even for this size
boat, furnished with a queen berth, a leather settee, built in bookshelves and a
desk, and plenty of stowage. There was even room for one of my trunks, which had
already been placed over to the side. “This cabin has a private head, which is
right through here. If you need anything from your other trunks, just let Henri
or me know. We usually sleep up on deck unless the weather is really bad.”
Joel saw my look of concern and shook his head. “Bad storms aren’t too
likely, we’re almost out of the typhoon season.”
I relaxed. “And where does the… uh… captain sleep?”
Joel looked intrigued. “Blair’s in the starboard
cabin.” But he didn’t ask me why I was interested in where the younger man
slept. Instead, he showed me how to work the lights and the plumbing in the
luxurious head that adjoined my stateroom.
I nodded my understanding and couldn’t prevent a sudden
yawn. The lack of sleep the night before was starting to catch up with me.
“You look tired, Jim. Why don’t you get some rest? One
of us will come get you when it’s time for dinner.” His smile was a slash of
white in his dark face. “I think
you’re going to enjoy sailing on the Tweedle Dee.” He shut my cabin door,
and I heard his footsteps going up the stairs and then across the deck.
I visited the head and played with the fixtures for a
couple of minutes, then unpacked, my thoughts tangling around Blair Sandburg,
his curly brown hair and blue, blue eyes, those lush lips. I bit back a moan.
They would look so good wrapped around my dick, not to mention how they would
feel.
Fuck it. Who was I trying to kid? A young man as gorgeous
as that, he had to have a string of lovers, male or female, maybe both, just
waiting for him to return to port. What would he want with a beat-up ex-cop like
me?
I lay down on my berth. It was covered with a soft,
down-filled comforter that carried the scent of ocean breezes. I turned onto my
stomach, cuddled a pillow in my arms, and immediately fell asleep.
~~~~
In spite of the fact that the smoking mountain was miles
away, I could feel the ground shake and tremble beneath feet that were tipped
with deadly, retractable claws. The volcano wasn’t important, however. Finding
my Guide was. I ran through the rainforest on four legs that were covered in
black fur.
The volcano rumbled, its tip glowing a sullen red, and then
with unrestrained fury, it erupted. Molten lava spewed out, deadly gases
polluted the air, and boulders the size of tanks were flung with careless
abandon high into the air to fall with vicious force to the ground below.
I yowled in protest, flattened my body closer to the
ground, and raced on as burning embers ignited my coat.
Somewhere up ahead was my Guide, I was certain of it. Trees
had begun to topple from the resulting earth tremors, and the forest shrieked an
imprecation to the heavens as it was torn apart. I twisted and dodged and tried
desperately to evade the falling, burning trees. And then I zigged when I should
have zagged. A tree crashed down on me, pinning me to the forest floor, and the
world went from bright red to black.
I regained my senses almost immediately, to find myself
awash in pain and being dragged out from under the tree with jerky, sporadic
movements. Strong teeth were sunk in the skin of my neck, and an act that under
other circumstances would have been erotic, was now a matter of desperation.
Once he had me away from the circle of blazing branches, the wolf began nudging
my body with his head. //Up! You must get up!//
//I can’t. I can’t move my legs! //
//You have to!//
//My back is broken.//
//Noooo!//
//You have to go. You can’t save me!//
The deep blue eyes of the wolf stared into mine. Instead of
running away to save himself, he lay down beside me gently, his thick fur
caressing my side, which heaved with erratic pants. I was almost overcome by the
smell of sulfur. Ash descended, falling like fouled, tainted snow. //I will not
leave you.// No one had done that for me before, been willing to die with me. He
licked my muzzle, then rested his head on my neck, and we closed our eyes,
waiting for the end to overtake us.
~~~~
I woke up with a start, covered in clammy sweat, so
relieved to find it was just a nightmare that I didn’t stop to wonder about
panthers and wolves, and why the wolf in my dream had blue eyes.
There was a tap on my door. “Jim, Blair said to let you
know dinner will be ready soon. Oh, and he also said to remind you to wear your
tux.”
I recognized the voice. “Thanks, Joel. I wasn’t going
to forget. I’ll just take a quick shower, and then I’ll be right along.”
"Okay, Jim." I heard him as he turned to leave,
singing softly under his breath. “‘Down the way where the men are gay,
and the sun shines daily on the mountain top…’”
I stifled my laughter; he would have wondered what I found
so funny, and I could hardly explain that I’d actually been able to hear him.
I heard Blair holler, “Joel, I want you to lower the mizzenmast. We’re
putting to for the night!” I listened to the sounds as Joel bounded up the
stairs to the main deck and then hurried aft. I could hear the creak of the
winch as the rigging was lowered, and the muted splash as the anchor was
dropped.
The light that came in through the porthole was fading and
growing dim, and I rolled off the berth. After laying out the tux and some clean
underclothes, I went into the head to wash the miasma of that nightmare from my
body.
I began to look forward to dinner with the captain. So sue
me; I always had a soft spot for a sailor.
####
The Tweedle Dee—Blair
Naomi Sandburg had two yachts, E-I-E-I-O.
Sorry. Poor joke.
The Tweedle Dum was a hundred and fifty feet of sheer,
unadulterated beauty and decadence. Her maximum speed was fourteen and a half
knots, which wasn’t too shabby in anyone’s books. She could accommodate
twelve people in the utmost comfort, and there were four cabins just to house
the crew. She had a Jacuzzi and a Turkish bath, a fully appointed galley, and a
sixty-inch large screen TV, as well as heads for each of the five guest cabins.
More than twice as large as her sister ship, she was used by my mother when she
wanted to impress potential clients. Otherwise, the Tweedle Dum rode at her
anchor in the marina and had her bottom scraped periodically.
And then there was the Tweedle Dee. I loved that boat. She
was the first one I’d ever skippered all by myself. Naomi had promised her to
me, had been promising her to me since the year I’d turned twenty. She was
sixty-three feet from stem to stern, a pipsqueak in comparison to the Tweedle
Dum. Aside from the master’s cabin, there was one other for guests, plus one
for the crew. She had a nice-sized galley, a main salon that contained a sound
system to die for, and a few other amenities I had paid for and installed
myself, before I discovered she would never be mine. I wised up then, and set
out to earn enough to buy my own boat.
Only, three-quarters of a mil was kind of hard to come by
when you were trying to teach anthropology to first year college students who
would rather be out partying or getting laid. I was on the verge of giving up on
the boat completely when I heard from Naomi.
The ringing of the phone jerked me awake, and I scrabbled
to pick up the receiver. My heart was pounding so painfully I was afraid it
would actually do an imitation of one of those Alien chestbursters. “Hullo?”
“Blair, darling.” A woman’s voice.
“Who is this?” I’d stopped dating women when I
realized I liked fucking men better.
“Blair, this is your mother!”
Naomi? It had been a long time since I’d heard from her,
even longer since I’d seen her; she was living somewhere on the East coast
now. “Mom, what’s wrong? Did something happen to BJ?” I kept in sporadic
touch with my younger brother, but I hadn’t spoken to him in a few months.
“Oh, sweetheart, your scamp of a brother is fine! Why
would you think anything was the matter with him?”
“You woke me out of a sound sleep, Naomi. Why wouldn’t
I think something was wrong?”
“Why were you still asleep, you slugabed?” she teased.
“You’ll never amount to anything if you spend the day in bed!”
I pushed the hair out of my eyes and stared through gummed
lashes at my alarm. “Naomi, it’s not quite five in the morning. Time
difference,” I reminded her patiently.
“Oh, dear. Of course. Oh, well, since I’ve already got
you up, I may as well tell you the news. You remember that mineral, chatarra,
that I was desperate to find for the new line of super conductor?”
“Not really.”
“Really, dear, you must try to keep au courant. Anyway,
I’ve found it!”
“You mean one of your flunkies found it.” I yawned
hugely. “So?”
“So, Blair, I have someone who is going to seal the deal
for me, but he’ll need to be on Isla
del Volcán Repugnante in three weeks.”
“And you’re telling me this at five
“I’m going to need you to transport him there.”
I’d sworn off doing any little favors for her after I’d
received my undergraduate degree in anthropology. That time it had been an
esoteric plant that could only be found on a tiny island in the
I could almost see her examining her nails and frowning as
she tried to decide whether or not she needed a manicure. “You want the
Tweedle Dee, don’t you, Blair?”
“I want to find Prince Charming, too. So what? The odds
of me getting either are too slim to even consider.”
“I’ll sign over the title if you do this for mommy.”
“Naomi…” Geez, I hated when she tried at this late
date to get maternal.
“Blair, I’ll have Frank Hagen bring the papers to you
within the hour.” Naomi could do that, could have one of the highest paid
corporate attorneys in the country out of bed, on a private jet with the
pertinent paperwork, and at my front door before seven o’clock on a Sunday
morning.
“Naomi, did you ever hear the saying, ‘Fool me once,
shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me?’”
“Blair, I’ll pinkie swear, if you’d like. I’ll even
let you hire whoever you like to crew the Tweedle Dee, even those two
reprobates, Henri Brown and Joel Taggart.”
H and Joel had been my friends for a long time, but she’d
never cared for them. It hadn’t been the color of their skin, but rather the
fact that both their fathers had been cops. Joel’s had been a beat cop, and
Henri’s wound up working for Naomi. My mother was nothing if not a snob.
“This must be really important to you.” I wanted that
boat. I could almost taste how much I wanted her. “All right, look. I have to
do some research on a paper I’m doing for my dissertation, and I need to be at
the University library.” I’d come across a monograph by Sir Richard Burton,
in which he discussed the possibility of the existence of sentinels, men and
women whose enhanced senses allowed them to find water, track game, warn of the
approach of the tribe’s enemies, protect the tribe. Something in the
monograph, the mention of guides, who protected the protector, struck a chord.
That would have been a worthy vocation. Unfortunately, I was stuck teaching
students who stubbornly refused to learn. “If
“‘If’? Oh, sweetheart, you cut me to the quick!”
“Yeah, yeah. That’s my offer, take it or leave it.”
“I’ll call Frank and get the ball rolling. There are a
few other things I need to do, and then… Gotta go, sweetie. Bye.”
I threw back the covers and got up. I’d take a shower and
start the coffee, just on the off chance that my mother’s lawyer did show up
with the authentic title.
****
Frank Hagen arrived with minutes to spare. I took the
papers to my own lawyer the next morning. Son of a bitch, they were the real
thing. Naomi had got me, fair and square.
****
It wasn’t this Jim Ellison’s fault, whoever he was. I
had been in a piss-poor mood ever since I’d realized I’d been suckered into
doing this favor for Naomi. I snapped and snarled at everyone. Henri and Joel
just made rude gestures and ignored me, and went about the business of preparing
the Tweedle Dee for a long ocean voyage.
When I saw BJ on the dock, about to light up one of his
ever-present cigarettes, I scowled at him. “BJ.” And then I saw the pain in
his eyes and decided not to chastise him for endangering his health. “Do you
know where Naomi is?”
“Have you seen Naomi?” Our questions emerged
simultaneously.
“Mom loves a secret almost as much as she loves money.”
Of course, neither of us knew her whereabouts. I studied the man who stood
beside BJ. About six feet, pale blue eyes, close-cropped brown hair. He was
wearing walking shorts, and I eyed his legs with interest, and wondered if the
rest of his body was as firmly muscled. Then I wondered what the fuck was wrong
with me. This was one of Naomi’s flunkies.
“That outfit’s wearing you, Felix!”
“Why are you calling me Felix?”
“I do what I want! And that’s a fucking silly hat
you’ve got on!”
“You know Naomi, Blair,” my brother interrupted.
“It’s all phone calls and telegrams. I haven’t seen her in nine months.”
“Nine months to birth you, nine months between visits.
Coincidence? With Naomi, who knows?”
“You’re in a mood. What crawled up your ass and
died?”
“It’s the sunshine, BJ.” I’d grown accustomed to
the perennial rain of
“My name is James or Jim.” His stance was challenging.
“All right, Jim. Come aboard. If we want to catch
the tide, we’ll have to cast off now. H, hoist the mainsail. Joel, get ready
to raise the anchor.” I took the wheel and opened the mic of the ship to shore
radio, notifying the Harbormaster that the Tweedle Dee would be getting under
sail.
Jim Ellison was standing by the rail waving to my brother.
On the dock, I could see someone come up behind BJ, and I shouted, “You’ve
got company!” He couldn’t distinguish my words, not even when I repeated
them. I picked up my telescope to get a better view of what was happening.
The two men confronted each other, and I was prepared to
come about, when the taller one suddenly pulled my brother into an embrace and
kissed him. I hoped this might be more than just another of BJ’s casual fucks.
And while he had constant hot and cold running flings, I went the other way and
rarely let anyone close enough to get in my bed. Naomi had often said she was
disappointed in both of us, BJ for being so indiscriminate, and me being too
picky.
“Would you like to go below deck, Jim, and get settled
in?” He looked pleased until I continued, “Joel, will you take Jim to his
cabin, please?” And then his expression became disappointed. Quickly he
smoothed it out.
“Sure thing, boss. This way, Mr. Ellison.”
“Jim. First night out is always formal. Do you have a
tux?”
“I have a tux.”
“Why aren’t I surprised?” I muttered to myself.
“With all the trunks this guy has, I’ll bet the only thing he doesn’t have
is the kitchen sink!”
His hand came up to cover his mouth, and I had the
strangest feeling that he was trying to conceal a grin. But he couldn’t have
heard what I’d said!
I watched his ass until he and Joel disappeared into the
wheelhouse, and then I sighed. This guy works for Naomi, I reminded myself
sternly. You don’t want to get involved with him!
****
“He seems like a nice guy, boss. You gonna give him a
chance?”
I was helping Henri put together dinner. “A chance to do
what? Break my heart? Don’t you remember what happened the last time Naomi
sent someone out here? It turned out she was paying him to sleep with me.
My own mother, and she didn’t think I could find someone on my own.”
“I saw the way you were looking at him, Blair. And he was
looking back, too.”
“H, I don’t want to hear another word about this Jim
Ellison.” I’d been down to check on him, and he’d been sprawled across his
berth, sound asleep. The lines of stress and tension were gone, and he looked
much younger than I had originally assumed.
“Or what? You gonna fire my ass? I don’t think so,
skipper!” he snickered. “Joel won’t let you.”
“No, he likes your ass too much.” Henri had been my
best friend since grade school. His dad had come to work for Naomi as head of
her security,
Henri just grinned. “This is true. Why don’t you go
wake up Mr. Ellison? Dinner should be ready in half an hour. That will give him
time to freshen up.”
But I ran down to my cabin to change and sent Joel to wake
him up and remind him that tonight we would be dressing for dinner.
Thirty minutes later he appeared on deck. My eyes widened,
and my jaw dropped. Wearing a white tuxedo, he looked good enough to eat in
long, slow, savoring bites.
“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting?”
“Uh… no. I… er… It’s such a beautiful night I
thought we’d dine on deck.”
“Sounds like a good idea. I can’t believe how beautiful
the sky looks. In
So was I. It complimented my white tux. “First night is
formal, Jim, but otherwise, we’re very relaxed on the Tweedle Dee.” We took
our seats at the table and Henri began serving us, a tossed salad, porterhouse
steaks, and baked potatoes. “This is Henri Brown.”
“Jim.” They shook hands. “I’m the best cook in a
thousand mile radius.”
“Considering we’re out to sea, H, that really isn’t
saying much!” I teased, and he smacked the back of my head. “Hey! Watch the
‘do!”
“Just remember, hairboy, I have a razor, and I’m not
afraid to use it! One night when you’re sleeping… zzzzzip! Hair all gone!”
His hearty laugh rang out as I pretended to cower away from him. “Would you
care for butter or sour cream on your potato, Jim?”
Jim swept his tongue over his lips and inhaled deeply.
“Mmm!” I had to shift to ease the sudden constriction of my dress trousers.
“Both, please.”
“See, Blair. Not everyone thinks having butter and
sour cream on your baked potato is the equivalent of running an IV line with
cholesterol directly into your veins.”
I crossed my eyes at Henri. I’d been trying to get him to
eat healthy for years. “Laugh it up, fuzzy. I’ll still be here when you’re
pushing up daisies.”
H had the gall to actually laugh, and he ran a hand over
his skull, which he liked to keep as smooth-shaven as his face. “Joel loves me
just the way I am.”
“This is true.” Joel uncorked a bottle of red wine and
poured it for us. “But Henri won’t die, because he knows if he does, I’m
going right after him to kill him.”
“Look into my eyes.” Henri’s middle finger was just
under his right eye, and we all laughed. He snorted and glanced over the table.
“The coffee is perking, and dessert is in the cooler, my world renowned Key
Lime pie. If you’ve got everything, Blair, Joel and I are going to watch an
Unsolved Mysteries tape.”
“This is fine. Thanks, H, Joel. I’ll see you in the
morning.” The two men went down to the salon where a forty-two inch TV/VCR
combo had pride of place.
“Unsolved Mysteries?”
I grinned and shrugged. “Joel has a weakness for Robert
Stack, and H likes the weird stories. I taped a whole bunch of shows for them.
There are a variety of movies as well, if you prefer. We don’t get any kind of
reception out to sea, so we make do.”
Jim took a bite of his steak. His eyes closed in ecstasy,
and he moaned, and I wondered if he sounded like that when he was having sex.
“I haven’t eaten a steak like this in years.”
“We eat well on the Tweedle Dee. Henri really is the best
cook in a thousand mile radius, and he makes sure the freezer is well
stocked.” We ate in silence for some time. Finally, “So… um… what
happens after I leave you on Isla del
Volcán Repugnante? When do I have to come back and pick you up?” His eyes
grew sad, and I rushed back into speech. “I don’t mind, honest, I don’t! I
love sailing, and I love this boat. That’s why I agreed to take you there.
Naomi promised her to me!”
“Did she? Well,
you won’t have to come back for me.”
“Huh? How are you
getting home, then?”
“I’m not.”
“You’re not?
Well, how long are you planning on staying there?”
He pushed his plate
away and sat back, looking thoughtful. “For the rest of my life, Blair.
Listen, didn’t Henri say something about Key Lime pie?”
“Uh… yeah. Hold
on. I’ll clear this off and get it. Do you want some more wine?”
“No. I’m really
not much of a wine drinker.”
I stacked the
plates in the dumbwaiter and sent it down to the galley, then brought the pie
and the coffee to the table. The night was balmy, and I removed my dinner jacket
and laid it across the deck chair. Jim did the same. His shirt was of linen so
fine that I could see the dusky shadow of his nipples through it. They seemed to
peak under my avid gaze, and my mouth grew dry. Again the silence stretched. I
hurried into speech. “Do you like to fish, Jim? Maybe tomorrow we can
go fishing.” He said nothing. I took a sip of coffee, then set down my cup and
fidgeted with my fork and spoon. “Or we can go scuba diving, if you’d
rather. Or take the WaveRunner out…”
“Blair.” Jim waited until I met his eyes. “Why did
you cop an attitude toward me on the dock? I could understand if I’d done
something to piss you off, but we’d never even met.”
I owed him an explanation at the very least. I ran a hand
through my hair, snagging it in the thong that kept it out of my face. “I’ve
always kept clear of my mother’s stuff, Jim, ever since I got out on my own.
Now she’s got me working for her, which is something I had promised myself I
would never do. Naomi told me that if I took you to the
Big Nasty she would give me this boat. I feel ashamed, because I have a
price. She named it, and,” I looked away, “now I know that about myself.”
“Blair…”
“No, let me finish, please.” In the Sandburg household,
fuck-ups were not allowed. If you did, you never admitted it, and more
importantly, you never apologized for it. I took a breath, and then continued.
“I took it out on you, but that’s me kicking myself for selling out. It
doesn’t change what I did, doesn’t make me feel any better; in fact, it
makes me feel like a real shit, and I’m sorry. We’re on a little boat for a
while, Jim, and I’m soul sick. You won’t be able to avoid seeing that. Like
my brother. BJ is soul sick, too.” I pictured my younger brother, desperate to
find love, but as soon as it was offered, running away because he was terrified
to accept it. “I love my brother; I know he’s screwed up. Growing up with
Naomi for a mother, he couldn’t be anything but. She’s never around, and
when she is… Well, if you look up maternal in the dictionary, you won’t find
her picture there. Look, I don’t know what your situation is, but I wanted you
to know mine.” I studied his eyes, not really knowing what I hoped to find in
them. “Did you sleep with BJ?”
“No.”
“Okay. Okay. See, if you had slept with him, that would
have told me something about you, but you tell me you didn’t sleep with my
brother. And I believe you.” I didn’t know why, but I did. And I was
relieved. I glanced up to find his eyes fastened on my mouth, and suddenly I
became hot and breathless, and I shifted in my seat again.
Jim’s nose twitched, as if he could smell the pheromones
I knew I had to be shedding. Of course that was impossible, but if he could
smell my arousal, what would he do?
He rose and came around to my side of the table, and wound
his fingers in the front of my dress shirt. He pulled me to my feet, and his
mouth came down to mine, but before our lips touched, he paused. “I’m going
to kiss you, Blair. If you don’t want that, you’d better say so now.”
I wanted that. More than I had realized, I wanted the taste
of his lips and tongue in my mouth. Somehow he must have heard the small sound
of assent I gave. His arm snaked around my waist and brought our groins
together. His cock was hard. It nudged the vee of my thighs, and I spread them
to steady my balance. My whimper was swallowed by his mouth, and in spite of my
determination to keep my eyes open, they slid shut.
Long fingers fumbled at my waist, unbuttoning my trousers
and then unzipping them. Jim hummed in pleasure when he realized I wore no
underwear. He spread his hands, freeing my dick from the prison of my pants. His
thumb rubbed lazy patterns on the tip with the pre come that was oozing out in
pearly drops.
I tried to get my hands between us, to stroke over the
bulge that marred the smooth line of his dress trousers, but he growled a
warning. “No. Just hold onto me.” He may have wanted to be the one in
control, but I had no intention of obeying him. I managed to lower his zipper
before he realized what I was doing, and my hands were filled with his hot
flesh.
“Oh, yes!” I licked frantically at his mouth, slid my
tongue between his parted lips, and he sucked delicately at it. It had been so
long since a hand other than my own had touched me; I knew I couldn’t last
long. I moaned and spilled myself into his hands.
I wasn’t so lost in the shivering aftermath of my orgasm
that I wasn’t going to pleasure him as well. I’d been raised to be a
gentleman, after all. I took his hands and wrapped them around his dick,
smearing my semen over it, then closed my hands over his, and we finished
jerking him off together.
He came with a muffled groan, and filled both our hands
with his essence. “Nice!” I sighed, slowly coming down from that climactic
high. It had been the best sexual experience I’d ever had, fully clothed.
“Nice? Is that all you have to say?” Jim rubbed his
hand over my mouth, and then licked my lips. “We taste good together,
Blair.” He drew in a deep breath. “Damn, we smell good together!”
//Keep it light.// “You sweet-talker, you!” I was wary
of letting him know that I could very easily fall in love with him. //Change the
subject.// “Have you ever slept on a boat, Jim? It really affects your
dreams.” He stiffened in my arms. “Something wrong, Jim?” He shook his
head, and I nuzzled the shirt beneath my mouth. I’d been sucking on him
through the material without paying much attention. “Sorry. I left a wet
spot.”
That startled a soft chuckle out of Jim. He wound his
fingers in my hair and tugged back, leaving me no choice but to meet his eyes. A
blush heated my cheeks. As I’d said, it had been a long time, and I’d gotten
out of the habit of post-coital repartee.
I tried to back out of his arms, but he tightened his grip
and dropped a kiss onto my lips. “I liked what we just did, Blair. I’d like
to do it again. I don’t want to rush you into anything…” He bit off the
rest of his words.
I stood there with my dick tucked away, but my fly still
open. I knew what he was going to say. ‘It’s just sex. You can’t have
anything more.’ It had been said to me before. “Don’t worry about it, Jim.
I’ve been playing with the big boys for a long time.”
I freed myself, picked up a napkin, and wiped us both off.
“Blair…” He was pale.
“Y’know what? I think you’d better go to bed.” I
made a snap decision. “I don’t want to leave the dishes and cups on deck for
Henri to find tomorrow morning, so I’m going to clean this up, and then I’m
going to bed, too. Your bed is bigger.” I breached his personal space, gripped
the lapels of his dressy shirt, and murmured against his lips, “Tomorrow
I’ll give you a guided tour of the Tweedle Dee.” I had meant to say ‘grand
tour’. What had possessed me to substitute ‘guide’? And then I forgot
about it. I was too hot for him. “Tonight I’m giving you a guided tour of
me!”
####
The Tweedle Dee—Jim
Blair had tried to hide his hurt when I’d told him I
didn’t want to rush him; he thought I wanted nothing more than the sex. I’d
nearly fucked up and told him I didn’t have the time to take it slow, that
even if I wasn’t planning on throwing myself into a volcano in less than three
weeks, I’d still be dead within six months.
His hair concealed his face for a moment, and when I
brushed it aside, he no longer seemed to care that I wasn’t going to promise
him forever. I couldn’t let that bother me.
I continued watching him. “Your bed is bigger.”
His eyes were locked on mine, and I heard his heartbeat speed up. I was rock
hard again. “Tonight I’m giving you a guided tour of me!” Oh,
yeah, my dick was really interested.
The corner of his mouth curled into a satisfied smile. I
leaned forward to capture that smile, to taste it, but before I could, he shoved
me around and gave me a push toward the wheelhouse and the stairs that led below
deck.
In my stateroom, I stripped off my dress shirt and
trousers, and folded the comforter down to the foot of the berth. Supplies! Lube
and condoms. I opened the lid of the steamer trunk and pulled the drawers open
one after the other, but of course there was nothing. I hadn’t expected to
find anyone in the time I had left. I sat on the bed and swore under my breath.
There was a tap on my door. “Come on in,” I grumbled.
Blair entered cautiously. He was carrying the jacket to my tux, and he placed it on the chair by the desk. “Have you changed your mind, Jim? If you’d rather not do this…” I caught my breath at the disappointment in his eyes.
“All the fucking stuff in the goddamned free
world, but no lubricant. No condoms. I am depressed!”
“Ah. Good thing I believe in being prepared, Jim! Ta da!”
He tossed me the tube of lubricant and a large, economy-size box of condoms.
“I used to be a Boy Scout, Jim,” he announced smugly.
My eyes widened in surprise. The tube bore the logo of
American Panascope. “Son of a bitch! This is the company I used to work for!
Miserable people.” I thought of Ms. Plummer, and how she made everyone’s
life so much harder than it needed to be. “A teeny tiny room, no fresh air,
fluorescent lighting that sucked the life out of you!”
“My office in
“Rainier U? That’s in
“Mmm hmm.”
“I used to live in Cascade, about eight years ago.”
“Cascade’s like a hop, skip, and a jump from
“‘Used to’?”
“I had to resign when they wouldn’t let me take a leave
of absence. That’s where I was when Naomi tracked me down and made me an offer
I couldn’t refuse.”
She had made me one, too, but I wasn’t about to tell that
to the man standing at the foot of my bed. “You know, now that I have some
distance from that situation, I can’t believe I put up with it for so long!”
“Why did you?” Blair must have taken off his shoes and
socks while he was in his cabin getting the supplies, because he was barefoot.
His tie was hanging loose around his neck, his trouser button was undone, and
his fingers were busy unbuttoning his shirt.
I couldn’t bear to let him know what a chicken shit I
was, that for eight years I’d let fear rule my life. “Habit?” I offered. I
could see he was going to press for more details, so I decided on a diversion.
My eyes dropped to below his waist, and I let out a low whistle. A quick glance
at his face verified the success of my tactic. Warm color flooded his cheeks. I
resumed studying his groin, and his trousers tented in response to my silent
approval of his body. He began to hum something very softly, and I extended my
hearing enough to that I could distinguish the notes. A smile started that
quickly grew so broad it felt as if my face would split. “Take it off! Take it
all off, baby!”
His eyes remained on mine, the blue dark and hot, and he
smiled in turn and ran his tongue over his lips. With lazy, languid movements he
removed his shirt, revealing a chest covered with a dark chestnut pelt, and I
wondered what it would feel like to the touch, if it would be soft and cling to
my fingertips, or wiry and tickle them. The vee of hair arrowed down past his
waistband in a narrow line. I waited impatiently for him to unzip his trousers;
I wanted so badly to see what was hidden beneath them. His fingers stroked over
nicely defined pecs, pausing to circle a nipple ring, and I winced in sympathy
at the thought of the little nub being pierced.
Finally, he unzipped his trousers, slowly lowering the
metal tab of his zipper, and I held my breath, watching with interest as inch by
inch his dick was exposed, rising proudly from a thatch of curls. I realized it
was true what they said about shorter men being otherwise compensated. “Like
what you see, Jim?”
“Oh, yeah, you could say that.” I licked my lips, eager
to taste the drop of pre come that was beading at the flushed tip of his cock.
He let his trousers drop to the deck and stepped out of
them. “I’ll toss you to see who bottoms,” he grinned.
“Sounds like a plan.” Before he realized what I was up
to, I got my shoulder into his abdomen and flipped him onto his back on my
berth. I followed him down and rubbed my cheek against the velvety-soft skin of
his cock. “Guess I win, Blair.”
“That is so not fair, man!” Blair complained with a
huff of laughter as he lay sprawled beneath me.
“Who said life was going to be fair?” I ran my tongue
up the side of his cock and curled it as far around the crown as I could get it,
then tugged. He groaned and thrust up helplessly. “Uh uh uh. I’m the
boss!” I sucked on his cock to keep him distracted while I reached for the
tube of lubricant and squeezed some onto my fingers.
His fingers were flexing restlessly against my scalp while
I pushed his legs apart and back and optimized my access to his anus. I stroked
the lube across his hole, around it, gradually dipping deeper and deeper into it
until he took my whole finger. Words poured from his mouth, first demanding when
I found his prostate and rubbed it firmly, and then pleading when I withdrew my
finger.
“Jim!” he gasped when two fingers entered him. They
began a scissoring motion, and I thought he was going to shoot up off the berth.
Both of us were panting hoarsely, harshly, he because I’d
brought him so close to climaxing, me because if I didn’t get my cock in the
hot, snug passage my fingers were exploring, I was going to … I pulled my
mouth off him. He whimpered. I removed my fingers. He groaned. I rolled on a
condom and smoothed on more lube, and I shivered from the touch of my own
fingers. I parted his ass cheeks, fitted my cock to his opening, thrust in with
an easy, steady motion, and once I was seated in him, I was home.
My eyes were screwed shut tight. I rocked my hips, driving
deep into him, pulling almost all the way out. My mouth was open as I struggled
to breathe, not caring if I had the oxygen or not, but needing it if I wanted to
continue fucking him.
The warmth of his palm on my cheek caused me to open my
eyes. I balanced my weight on my knees, wrapped my arms around him and sat back,
bringing him up into my lap and driving my cock deeper into his bowels.
Blair leaned forward, pushing me back, and I braced my
hands behind me so I wouldn’t topple over. “Yes!” he growled, his face
buried in my neck, taking a patch of skin between his teeth and marking it. His
cock was imprisoned between our groins, and as his hips rose and fell, each
thrust teased him higher. He may have been the one who was penetrated, but I was
the one who was being thoroughly fucked.
He was moaning steadily, and his rhythm became erratic. I
balanced on one hand on the berth, threaded the fingers of the other in his long
hair and brought his mouth to mine, swallowing the needy sounds. “Come on,
baby,” I whispered against his mouth. “Come for me.” Almost there. I moved
my hand from the berth to his back, resting my shoulders on the mattress, easily
bearing his warm, solid weight. Then I caressed the knobs of his spine down to
the curve of his buttocks, stroked the crevice between them. I could feel how
his hole was stretched by my cock, and I pressed against that spot. “Come for
me.”
“JIM!” His cry was muffled against my neck, and hot
semen spurted onto my abdomen. That was all it took to set me off, and I came
even harder than I had before.
“It’s never been this good, babe! Never!” Aftershocks
pulsed through me, and I straightened my legs with a groan.
Blair hummed in agreement and relaxed, his arms firmly around me, his cheek on my shoulder, and his legs tangled with mine. I softened and slid out of him, and he whimpered but settled himself more comfortably on me.
“If you don’t let me get something to clean us up,
we’re going to be stuck together forever.” I managed to remove the condom,
and I could feel his smile against my shoulder.
“I don’t have a problem with that.”
Neither did I. Only, I didn’t have forever. Carefully I
rolled him onto the mattress. I swung off the berth and padded into the head,
where I disposed of the condom, soaked a washcloth and squeezed out the excess
moisture. After I cleaned myself off, I rinsed the washcloth, went back into the
stateroom, and found him dozing on his back. I wiped the streaks of semen from
his torso, then turned him over, and I pressed the cloth to his hole while I
checked him for tears.
“‘m fine, Jim. C’mon back to bed.”
“Yes.” I didn’t think of the short time we had. I
didn’t think of what was awaiting me on that island, the way I was going to
die, or the simple fact that I was going to die, period. I crawled onto the
berth, settled my lover against me, and pulled the covers over us.
****
He was keeping something from me, something that worried
him. But then I was keeping something from him as well.
So we fished, and for every fish Blair pulled in, one of
those suckers stole my bait. Finally I managed to hook something, and there was
a freaking massive battle in which everyone,
Joel, Henri, Blair, they all tried to
help me haul it up. It turned out to be a hammerhead shark, the scariest-looking
fish I had ever, ever seen. I had no intention of quarreling with that
shark over possession of a fishing rod! I flipped it over the side of the boat
and let him take it.
We scuba-dived. Blair fitted the tanks to my back and
fastened the buckles. He showed me how to spit in the mask to cut down the
possibility of it fogging up, and how to tip over backwards from the transom to
enter the water. And when we were twenty-five feet below the surface, Blair
eased the regulator out of my mouth and under the guise of teaching me how to
buddy breathe, kissed me stupid.
We rode the waves on the WaveRunner. He sat on the long
seat, in cut-off jeans, looking up patiently. “Come on, Jim. It’s a piece of
cake! It won’t sink, I promise!” I was wearing swim trunks that were…
loud. Gingerly I eased myself down onto the seat. “Hold on, man.” I held on.
“Uh… Jim? Babe? You want to let me breathe?” I eased my grip on him,
dropping my hands to his waist, and once I remembered to breathe, I found
I really enjoyed skimming over the waves. I leaned against his back, and while
one hand stayed curled around his waist, the fingers of the other tiptoed from
his knee to the frayed hem of his shorts and slid under, reaching for hidden
treasure.
We spent evenings on deck, letting the boat rock beneath
us, gazing at the stars and talking, or just lying on the bench seats, enjoying
the silence. And when we went below deck to my cabin, Joel and Henri would take
possession of the deck, having watched their fill of videos, and we’d spend
the night in each other’s arms.
One night I was lying on my berth, waiting for Blair to
come into my stateroom. I was reading something I had found in the Tweedle
Dee’s library, a monograph by Sir Richard Burton, the explorer not the actor,
regarding the subject of sentinels. It was the first time I had ever actually
seen any written matter about the conundrum with which I’d been living. I
noticed that the sections dealing with ‘guides’ were highlighted.
At that point Blair finally showed up, and I forgot
everything else. He used silk ties to restrain my wrists and ankles, leaving me
spread out on the berth, and he rapidly shed his clothes. I felt the heat of my
arousal sweep through me, up from my toes, down from my chest, pooling in my
groin, and I could smell his sexual excitement, but no matter what pleas or
demands spilled from my mouth, he simply grunted a reply.
“Blair…” I was becoming desperate. I learned why he
wouldn’t say a word when he stripped the fine linen boxers I wore out of the
way and went down on me, his mouth chilled from the ice cube he held in it. I
shivered, and not simply from the difference in temperatures.
I was right; his lips did look good around my dick.
It took a shamefully short amount of time before I was
slammed into an intense orgasm. Blair licked me clean, and after I’d recovered
my breath, and he’d loosened the ties, I flipped him onto his back and
returned the favor, sucking him until he erupted in my mouth.
My lover was breathless. I settled him beside me, my grin
smug. We lay bonelessly, side by side on that big berth. I couldn’t remember
ever feeling so alive, even when I
wasn’t dying. If I tried really
hard, I could pretend we’d always be together on this boat, sailing away from
the things of man.
Abruptly Blair asked, “Is Naomi paying you to sleep with
me?”
“What? No! She’s paying me to jump into a volcano!”
“What?” He
flipped over and peered into my eyes.
Oh, jesus, talk about loose lips. “Um…”
“Jim! You want to tell me what’s going on?” His
expression was so confused, and he looked so cute. I owed him an explanation.
I hesitated, trying to think of the best way to describe
the situation I’d found myself in. Finally I decided to just come right out
and tell him. “I’ve got six months to live. Your mother needs this mineral,
chatarra, I think it’s called. The Chopecs on Isla del Volcán Repugnante have it, and they’ll sell her the rights,
but only if she can get them someone who’ll throw himself into the volcano on
their island. And… uh… that’s where I come in.” I finished in a rush.
He opened his mouth. Nothing came out, and he shut it. He
repeated this a couple of times. Abraham Lincoln once said, “It is better to
be silent and have men think you a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”
It appeared Blair was opting to remain silent.
“Say something, Blair!” I pleaded.
“You tell me you’re dying. You tell me you’re going
to jump in a volcano. My mind is a blank.” He frowned at me.
“You’re really going to die?”
“This is not something I would joke about, Blair. I’m
going to wind up with the IQ of a bunch of broccoli, in a hospital bed, tethered
to machines that will feed and water me like I’m some goddamned vegetable.
I’ll have as much control over my body as I did when I was a baby, but let me
tell you something, my friend! Where people don’t mind cleaning a baby when
he’s got a diaper full of shit, it’s a whole ‘nother ball of wax when
it’s a full grown male who’s wearing that diaper! I refuse to sit still and
wait for that to happen to me!” I caught the minute hitch of his breath, and
it was my turn to look hurt. “You’re scared of me, aren’t you? You’d
leave just like…” I couldn’t help but think of how quickly
“No, fuck it, I’m not scared! I’m so pissed I could
chew nails.” Suddenly, suspicion writ large across his face, he asked,
“You’re not telling me this just so I won’t think what we have is more
than a shipboard romance, are you? Because I know that!” I shook my head, and
he pounded his hand on the mattress. “Shitshitshit!” His voice became almost
inaudible. “I find someone who’s given me the best sex I’ve ever… I’ve
had in ages, who wasn’t bought for me by my mother, and he’s going to
fucking die?” He scowled and spoke in a normal tone. “Talk about sucking big
time!”
“Tell me about it,
“You don’t have to sound so… accepting!”
“What do you want me to do? Curse the fates? Curse myself
for not living life to the full while I had the opportunity? The end isn’t
going to be pretty, Blair. I can control that, choose my time to die. And in the
meantime, I’d like to spend what time I have left making love with you. Unless
you don’t want to…”
“Oh, no, Jim Ellison! I’m a greedy son of a bitch! I
want every minute with you that I can get!” He blushed red in the soft glow of
the lamp at the head of the berth.
“Yeah?” I stroked a finger over the curve of his
cheekbone.
“Yeah. Now, why don’t we get some rest? I believe the
next bones that are to be jumped are yours! I can get by on a few hours of sleep
a night.” My lover’s breathing was becoming slower, and I settled him beside
me again. “You know something, Jim? Naomi says almost the whole world is
asleep. Everyone you know, everyone you see, everyone you talk to, they’re all
asleep. Those who are awake are in a state of constant, total amazement.” He
yawned and pillowed his head on my arm, his riot of curls tickling my throat and
chin. Within a matter of minutes his heart rate had resumed its normal, steady
beat, and he was sound asleep.
“You leave me in a constant state of amazement, babe.”
He mumbled something in his sleep, too indistinct even for my ears. “What was
that?” His arms tightened around me, and he sighed, and the warmth of his
breath tickled over my collarbone. I dropped a kiss on the top of his head. “I
just wish we had more time.”
****
True to his words, within a few hours, Blair was awake
again, and this time he had me on my hands and knees, licking a path from the
sensitive skin behind my balls to my hole. He pressed slicked fingers into me,
preparing the way for his cock. I’d never had one so large, and I had to
breathe through the burn and the sense of fullness. Once his cock found my
prostate, though, I was totally awash in sensation and kept begging for more. He
jerked me off while he pounded into my ass, but he was the one in control. Each
time I was about to climax, he would squeeze the base of my cock, and the need
would subside. He would drive me back into the vortex, shivering, swearing and
sweating profusely until he finally decided it was time, and with one more deep,
hard thrust, we both came.
It was one of the best orgasms I’d ever had, until a
couple of hours later, when he woke me up again, and did it again, and proved
that the first time hadn’t been a fluke.
The last time, sometime just after dawn, neither of us had
the energy to stumble into the head for a washcloth. We sank into an exhausted
slumber; the berth was a wreck, and we were both covered with bruises and love
bites and come. I was happier than I had ever been in my life.
When I woke up a couple of hours later, I was alone.
Part 5 – Typhoon—Blair
Jim was so exhausted I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t
hear the soft tapping on the stateroom door, although he had surprised me a
number of times by responding to something I’d said so quietly I couldn’t
understand how he’d heard me. I slipped out of bed and padded to the door,
cracking it open enough to see that Joel was standing there. I rubbed my hair
vigorously. “What’s up, man?”
“Doesn’t look good topside, Blair. You’d better come
up and take a look. I think we’re in for a blow!”
“Ah, fuck! I’ll be there in ten minutes.” I glanced
regretfully over my shoulder. Jim was sprawled wantonly on the berth, his cock
lying on his thigh, flaccid now. A flash of warmth spread through me as I
recalled the night we had spent. I hadn’t been able to get enough of him, and
kept waking him up. I’d had no problem bottoming for him, but last night,
after he told me he was going to die, that he was going to throw himself into a
volcano, I’d needed to let him know how much I lo… wanted him, and I’d
taken him again and again.
As if aware of my heated gaze, Jim’s cock twitched. If it
hadn’t been for the threat of a storm, I would have spent the rest of the day
in bed with him. I sighed and left his stateroom for mine. After a quick shower,
I dressed and hurried up on deck.
Henri was waiting for me with a mug of hot coffee and a
pineapple danish. “Thanks, H. Oh, jesus!” The sky was an eerie shade of
green. There was a hush surrounding us. The sea was still, and the sails sagged
on the rigging with no wind to belly them. That could change at any moment.
“Yeah.” His
eyes were calm, though. We’d ridden out storms before.
“I’ll help Joel lower the sails.” “Help Joel lower
the sails.” We swapped grins, and he hurried to find his partner and start
getting the Tweedle Dee ready to face the storm. I went into the wheelhouse.
The computer’s Weatherfax program was running, and the
VHF radio was announcing a typhoon warning. The meteorologist’s voice was
tight with restrained anxiety. Shit. This was not good. I’d been sure when I
plotted this course that there was nothing in our path. I hated surprises.
I went back onto the deck, and while Henri and Joel lowered
and secured the sails, I went around battening the hatches. Then I got another
cup of coffee, went fore and waited, the base of my neck tingling.
“Hey, Blair.” Jim had come up behind me so quietly that
I hadn’t realized he was there, and I jumped. “It’s a little weird
today.”
“There’s a typhoon warning. If we’re lucky, it will
pass to the south of us.”
“I thought Joel said typhoon season was almost over.”
“The key word being ‘almost.’”
He took my coffee mug and sipped, frowning when his lips
touched the rim. “Geez, I really hate pineapple danish!”
“How’d you know it was pineapple?” But although one
part of my mind was curious about that, I wasn’t really paying attention.
Jim could see that. “Will we be okay?”
I rubbed my jaw. Normally I loved pitting myself against
the raw forces of nature, but for some reason, I had a bad feeling about this
storm. “I have confidence in me, and the guys, and this boat. The hatches are
down, the sails are down. We’re ahead of the game. Henri! Get the engines
started. Joel! Head us into the wind, and keep us into the wind!” I handed Jim
a life vest and slid into one myself.
“Right, skipper!” Both Henri and Joel were already
wearing vests.
“Blair, there is no wind.”
“There will be, Jim.” As if on cue, the Tweedle Dee
began to rock. Small waves slapped at her sides. The air became charged with
static electricity, and a crooked lightning bolt split the sky.
****
Jim was with me in the wheelhouse. The guidance system had
crapped out, and none of the electrical equipment was giving reliable readings.
“Mayday, Mayday, Mayday. This is the Tweedle Dee. Latitude ten degrees, eight
minutes south, longitude approximately one hundred degrees, eighteen minutes
west. We are in severe distress! I say again, this is the Tweedle Dee, in severe
distress!” My mouth was dry, and I slammed the microphone down. “Fuck! No
way is anyone getting this!”
“What can I do to help?” Jim was pale, but steadfast.
Another wave slammed into her side, throwing him against me.
“Don’t go on deck. Check on Henri. He’s nursing the
engines.” Above the howl of the storm I heard an ominous, continuous thud.
“Oh, christ! The main boom!” I ran out into the lashing wind and rain. The
sea, what could be seen of it through the torrential downpour, was a caldron of
dark, seething water. A hard hand landed on my shoulder. “Jim, what the
fuck…?”
“What are you doing? You’re going to get yourself
killed!” We could see the boom swinging wildly in the wind. If the sail
loosened and became waterlogged before I could get it under restraints, we would
be in serious danger of capsizing.
I slid coils of rope over my head and shoulder. “It’s
my boat!” I caught the ties that had snapped loose and grabbed for the boom,
but before I could seize it, the boat was rocked by a particularly vicious wave
that raised her up high. When it dropped out from under her, she seemed to hang
suspended for a lifetime. And then the boom clipped me in the head, and the last
thing I remember before blacking out was being flung over the side, knowing I
was going to die, and knowing that I’d never told Jim...
####
The Raft—Jim
“Blair!” I howled. I watched in helpless rage as
that mother of a wave sent the boom crashing into him, knocking him overboard.
Without even thinking about it, I went over the side after him, diving and
surfacing, being slapped in the face by the never-ending cascade of water.
I rode the crest of a wave, and before I could be dropped
into its trough, I saw him, unconscious, the only thing keeping his head above
water the life vest that was taking a horrendous beating. I fought the waves.
Somehow I managed to reach him and wound an arm around his chest, keeping him
tight against me.
A sudden, ear-shattering scream rose, momentarily drowning
even the shrieks of the storm, and I stared in shocked horror as a massive
lightning bolt struck the Tweedle Dee. In the moments before she broke apart and
sank, a small lifeboat was safely launched. “Joel! Henri!” The rain poured
down relentlessly, and for every yard they managed to row toward us, they were
pushed back three, until finally, the distance became so great I could no longer
see them.
I held onto Blair, dazed and battered by the fury of the
typhoon, and after what seemed like forever, the storm eased off, whether
because we had reached the edge of its influence, or because it was simply
losing strength I had no idea. I was just grateful it was no longer trying to
make us swallow the entire contents of the
Something large nudged my back, and I nearly pissed myself,
images of Great White Sharks almost overcoming me. A glance over my shoulder
revealed one of my steamer trunks, which the salesman had assured me were
watertight. I blinked the salt water out of my eyes and saw that some distance
away the other three had also surfaced. I manhandled Blair onto the one beside
us, then struck out to round up the others.
I freed the rope he’d looped over his shoulder, and one
by one, I brought each trunk in and tied it to the original. The four of them
made a decent-sized raft. Panting heavily from the exertion, I struggled to haul
myself up beside my unconscious lover and collapsed into a restless doze.
****
When I roused once again, it was to find the sun beating
down on us with the intensity of a blast furnace. Our clothes had dried
uncomfortably, stiff and crusted from the salt water that had soaked them. I
needed a fresh change of clothes. I rolled to my knees and struggled with the
locks of one of the trunks until I could get it opened. It contained the violin
case bar, and I realized the trunk must have been one of the ones stowed in the
hold. I pulled out the bar and opened the lone bottle of water it held. All I
allowed myself was a single sip. I would save the rest for Blair.
He was still unconscious. His hair was matted with dried
blood from a shallow cut over his left ear, and I was afraid the blow from the
boom must have left him concussed. I found a clean handkerchief in the trunk and
dampened it, then forced his mouth open and ran the handkerchief over his tongue
and inner cheek and lips before wiping it over his face.
Once that was done, I went rummaging for something for him
to wear. I put aside the tux he’d worn our first night out on the Tweedle Dee.
After he’d stumbled sleepily to his own cabin to dress, I’d folded it
quickly and hidden it at the bottom of the trunk, wanting something of his for
that time when I could have nothing but that lonely walk up the side of the
volcano.
I wanted him wearing something of mine. I found a cotton
shirt that buttoned down the front. After I stripped off the life vest and his
clothes, I got the shirt on him; it covered him halfway to his knees. It was a
good look on him.
Next I pulled out the world-band travel radio and turned it
on, hoping for some news about the typhoon, but all I was able to pick up was a
Spanish station that only played the oldies.
I also found a large umbrella and propped it so Blair was
shaded from the merciless glare of the sun.
Buried under all that stuff was a medic kit, with enough
first aid items to aid a battalion. And at the bottom of that were condoms and a
few tubes of KY jelly. Well, it was nice to know I did have supplies, but
truthfully, I’d rather have had a partner who was conscious.
Eventually, the sun began to sink, and even on the Tweedle
Dee I hadn’t seen such a gorgeous sunset. Pinks, oranges, violets, the hues
flared brightly and then darkened. I lay on my back, staring into the night sky.
The constellations were different from the ones I was used to seeing, and they
took my breath away.
It became cold. “Come on, Blair. Wake up for me.
Please?” He shivered, and I tucked a throw that had been in another trunk
around his shoulders. It was just one of the many things I had bought
willy-nilly, and I was grateful for that unbridled shopping spree.
From behind my shoulder light spilled onto my lover’s
face, and he frowned, although he still didn’t waken. The moon was slowly
rising in the sky. It was huge and majestic, and I felt my insignificance. I
wasn’t a religious man, but I was overcome by the sheer magnitude of that
spectacle, and the Being who created it.
I clasped my hands together and continued to stare up at
the moon. “Dear god, whose name I do not know, thank you for my life. I forgot
how big… Thank you.” A single tear slid down my cheek. “And thank
you for this man who you have brought into it.”
I angled Blair so the moon was no longer shining in his
face, then spooned behind him to share my body warmth.
####
The Raft—Blair
I woke up feeling like shit. The top of my head was
threatening to explode, my eyes were gritty, and my stomach wanted to climb out
through my throat. The last thing I could remember eating was the danish Henri
had handed to me, and that made a hasty exit moments after I sat up. Fortunately
I managed to lean over the side of whatever it was I was floating on.
Once my stomach had finished emptying itself, I sank back
and tried to take stock of my surroundings. This was some kind of makeshift
raft. Beneath my fingers, the surface felt rough and uneven. I raised my head
cautiously, trying to spot the Tweedle Dee, but she was nowhere in sight.
From behind me was a soft snuffling noise. I risked a
glance over my shoulder. Jim Ellison lay there, dreaming. “Wake up, babe. You
have to wake up!” I seemed to remember hearing that in my sleep, and now it
was my turn to say it. I curved my hand over his cheek. It was scratchy from an
incipient beard and dried salt water.
“Jim. Jim!” I saw a bottle of water poking out from
whatever it was we were floating on, and crawled over to retrieve it. There was
a bottle of whiskey near it. I couldn't stand the taste in my mouth, and rinsed
it with the liquor. Then I crawled back and poured some water over his lips.
That brought him to consciousness with a vengeance. He
bolted upright. “No!”
I eased an arm around his shoulder and held him close to
me. “Didn’t you have any water for yourself?”
Jim tried to thrust the bottle away without spilling any of
the precious drops. “No! That’s for Blair!”
“Are you trying to kill yourself, Jim? Drink some of
this! Don’t make me have to get tough with you!”
His eyes opened. He licked his lips, and I managed to get
some water past them and into his mouth. He blinked furiously and finally
focused on me. “Blair?”
“You were expecting maybe Robinson Crusoe?” I joked
feebly as I stroked his hair. “Where did you find this raft?”
“It’s my trunks. I linked them together with the rope
you had around you. They surfaced when the Tweedle Dee…” He stopped
abruptly.
As much as I was afraid to ask, I had to know.
“What happened to the Tweedle Dee?”
He hesitated, then looked away. “She sank.”
My gut clutched. “Henri and Joel?”
“The last I saw, they’d managed to launch a lifeboat.
They tried to reach us, but they kept getting blown further and further away.”
He was silent for a moment. “If there’s any justice in this life, they’ll
have made it.”
We both knew exactly how much justice there was. I closed
my eyes and said a brief prayer for my friends, hoping against hope that they
might have survived. “How long have we been drifting?”
“This will be our second night.”
“We could be anywhere.” I looked at the umbrella and
the afghan and the bottle of water. “I don’t suppose you’ve got a compass
in one of these trunks, do you?” He dug up a cigarette lighter. “Jim, I’m
not my brother. I don’t smoke.”
His grin was tired, but nothing short of smug. He did
something to the lighter that I couldn’t see, then extended his hand, and
nestled in his palm was a small, round compass. He studied it carefully. “We
seem to be drifting in an easterly direction.”
“Maybe we’ll reach land before we starve or die of
thirst.”
“But you’re not too hopeful. I thought I was supposed
to be the pessimist of this duo.” He drew me back into the notch of his legs.
“Generally speaking, I’d have to agree, but I think
this time,” I kneeled up and took a gulp of water, then brought his mouth to
mine and fed him the liquid that way, “this time I’ll beg to differ. I think
we’re gonna die, Jim.” I leaned back against him.
“Devious son of a bitch!” He’d been surprised and had
swallowed reluctantly. I could feel his shrug against my spine, and his large
palms stroked down over my chest. “We’re all gonna die, babe. No one gets
out of this life alive.”
“But not yet!” The words were a soundless protest.
“Not now, when I’ve just found you!” He hummed happily, and I turned my
head to gaze back into his cool blue eyes. They were heated. “Huh? What’s
that all about?”
“Nothing, babe.” But he kissed my jaw. “Listen,
Blair, how close to the island were we when the typhoon hit?”
“About a thousand klicks.”
He did a fast calculation in his head. “That’s about
five hundred and forty nautical miles.”
“Yeah. So?”
“Is it possible the storm drove us closer than you
think?”
“Anything is possible, Jim. I just don’t know. We could
be anywhere along the South American coast. Shit, that bitch of a storm could
even have driven us toward
His head suddenly whipped around. “What was that?”
“What was what? I don’t hear anything.”
“Sounds like breakers.”
“I still don’t hear anything.”
“Look! Over there!”
“Okay, fine. I don’t see anything!”
“Blair!” He took my face in his hands and turned it
until I was looking due east.
“What…?”
“Canoes! Out-riggers! Look! We’re saved!”
I gasped. I didn’t see the canoes, not then, they were
too far away. But I could see, rising high on the horizon, the smoking hulk of a
huge volcano.
Jim’s arms tightened around me, becoming almost painful.
“You’re saved.”
“What?” And then I remembered. He still had a date with
a volcano.
Part 6— Isla del
Volcán Repugnante—Jim
There were about
twenty canoes, each one holding four men whose faces were decorated with red
markings.
The Chopec in the
lead canoe paddled closer to our make-shift raft. “Are you Jim?”
I nodded, but it
seemed that wasn’t verification enough.
“Are you Jim… Ellison?”
I nodded again, and
he shouted something over his shoulder in another language, and the men in the
other boats let out a roar of satisfaction. “You come with me. Is this
your…” The word he spoke was in the same strange language.
Suddenly I was
afraid they would try to make me leave Blair behind. I put my arm around his
shoulder and held him securely. “He comes with me, or you don’t get your
hero!”
“I am Incacha,
shaman of the tribe. You are both welcome! Now, if you will enter my canoe, I
will take you to Isla del Volcán Repugnante.”
I made sure Blair
was safely in the canoe before I climbed in behind him. “My trunks?”
Incacha spoke to
his men, and four canoes separated from the others and paddled into position,
two on each side. “It shall be taken care of.” He gestured toward the
island, and we began to skim over the waves.
“This is so cool,
Jim!” Blair whispered excitedly as he leaned back against me. “The language
Incacha is speaking is Quechua.”
“How do you know that?”
“I have a master’s in anthropology! That’s what I
taught at
“Do you know what he’s saying?” The shaman had been
carrying on a conversation with an older man in another canoe, and I was a
little leery of the glances Blair had been garnering.
“It’s been a long time since I heard it spoken. I can
pick up some of it.” Blair’s brow was furrowed in concentration. “Tonight
we’ll have a…” A smile lit his deep blue eyes, and he licked his lips in
happy anticipation. “… a big feast, Jim! After the feast, you will…”
Abruptly, he turned so pale that I thought he was going to faint.
“Blair, what is it? What’s wrong?” I was beginning to
panic. “Is it your head?”
The expression in his eyes was horrified.
The shaman faced me implacably.
“After the feast, you will jump into Volcán
Repugnante. Okay?”
I didn’t want to end my life, not now, not when I had
finally found someone I could… I could care about. But I thought of that
goddamned brain cloud, of how the end would be if I didn’t jump, of the tubes,
and the IV lines, and my brain turning to mush. I didn’t want Blair to see me
like that. I raised my head and met the shaman’s gaze. “Okay.”
####
Isla del Volcán
Repugnante—Blair
I felt nauseous, and I didn’t know if it was the remnants
of the concussion or the knowledge that within a few hours Jim Ellison would be
throwing himself into a live volcano.
Once the canoes landed on the white, sandy beach of the
island, Jim was taken to a special hut. I wanted to go with him, but Incacha
told me, in the language of the Chopecs, that because Jim was a … a something
or other, he had to be sequestered until the feast. He would be in a hut similar
to a sauna, and the only person who could join him, other than the men who would
oversee the ritual cleansing of his body, was his … but again I did not
understand the word he used.
Jim forced a smile. “I’ll see you later, Blair.” And
he went with the shaman’s men.
“Jim.” His name was softer than a whisper on my lips.
He whirled around and came back to me. “Babe, I…” His
mouth came down on mine, so hard my lips were bruised. My fingers bit into the
muscles of his shoulders, and I tried to pull him closer to me. Before I could
part my lips to tease his tongue into entering my mouth, he pulled himself away.
“I…” He turned on his heel and hurried away with the men.
Beneath our feet, the ground shook.
“You don’t have to worry, Shaman,” I snarled. “Jim
Ellison is an honorable man. He’s said he’ll jump into your volcano; he
will. The goddamned, noble fool!”
Incacha had watched the scene play out with shrewd,
narrowed eyes. “Come, young man. I will see to your injury.” He took me to a
small hut. The boy who stood in the doorway extended a coconut shell cup, which
Incacha took from him. He murmured some words over it and urged me to drink.
“It will help the pain in your head, young…” Again he used one of the
words I couldn’t understand. I knew it was important that I understand it, but
his mention of my headache distracted me, brought my attention back to how much
my head did hurt. With other things to worry about, it had not been at the
forefront of my mind; now it returned with a vengeance.
I gulped down the sweet, milky-white liquid, and almost
immediately began to feel drowsy and lightheaded. The boy led me into the hut
and gestured for me to lie down on a mat woven of island grasses. It seemed to
beckon me, and was surprisingly comfortable. My eyes grew heavy, and within
seconds they drifted shut, and I slid into a deep sleep. For a heartbeat it was
dreamless, but then began the first of the recurring dreams. This one had
plagued my sleep for the last eight years.
~~~~
We had been driven back and driven back yet again. Now we
were huddled on a spit of land with the sea before us and our enemies at our
back. I stood beside my Sentinel, a spear in one hand and a knife in the other,
ready to die with him to protect our people.
The ground beneath our feet began to shift and heave, and Volcán
Repugnante was born. Within minutes our enemies were destroyed in a rain
of fire and molten rock.
“More will return, and we will be punished for this!”
wailed the old women of the tribe, and not all of them were female.
Again the ground quaked and vibrated, and this time the
land began to float on the ocean waves that suddenly surrounded us. Further and
further out to sea the island drifted, until it was impossible to see the
mainland.
“We have been saved! The volcano has saved us!”
“But now it will destroy us! See, it is still spewing
forth lava!”
The elders gathered together in a holy place. They prayed
and fasted. Finally they returned to face their distraught people. “The
volcano has indeed saved us, but now it is demanding payment. One of us must be
sacrificed! The gods have told us the man to do this is our Sentinel.”
“NO!” I shouted. He trusted me, cared for me. The
planting moon had come and gone three times before he had finally learned to do
more than simply accept me as his Guide. I would not lose him now. “Choose
someone else! Surely the volcano would rather a virgin? Or have we none of those
left?”
My Sentinel touched my arm. “It is my task to always
protect the tribe. If this is what is required of me, I will do it.”
I threw myself into his arms. “No! Please, no! I cannot
live without you. I do not want to live without you!”
He stroked my hair, and the motion soothed me. “Very
well. We will seek another solution.” I didn’t realize that he had sent a
silent message to the tribe’s chieftain.
“Guide, we will need you to see if any survive on the
other side of the island. Perhaps there is one there who will be willing to
sacrifice him or herself. We will do nothing until your return.”
I bowed to him, relief making me almost giddy. “This I
will do.” I made my way through our makeshift village, but before I reached
the outskirts, my Sentinel caught up with me. He pulled me into his arms and
caressed my lips with his. Although we had rutted many times, very rarely did he
kiss me, and never before witnesses. I left the village, my heart filled with
joy. Fool that I was, it never occurred to me that he was kissing me good-bye.
He waited no longer than it took for me to jog out of sight
before climbing to the top of the volcano and throwing himself in. By the time I
returned it was over.
I ran from one hut to another, frantically searching for
him. “Where is he?” I demanded furiously. As one they turned to gaze at the
mountain, which was no longer smoking.
“He did what he was born to do. He protected the
tribe.”
I raced to the top of the mountain, but it was sealed, as
if it had never erupted, and there was no way for me to join the man I loved. I
howled my despair to the skies until my throat closed up and no sounds would
emerge. I tore my hair and gouged my flesh.
When I came back down off that benighted mountain, none
dared meet my eyes. Half blind, weak from loss of blood and grief, I stood in
the center of the village. “Curse you!” I whispered hoarsely, and they
shuddered, for I was a powerful shaman in my own right. “Curse you all! You
think that this is over, that the volcano’s desire for human flesh has been
sated? I swear to you that this is only the beginning! In one hundred years Volcán
Repugnante will awaken again, and again it will demand a sacrifice. This volcano
will never be satisfied. Never!” I staggered and would have fallen but for the
chieftain, who caught me.
“Please, I beg
you! You cannot do this! Think of all who will die! You would curse the
children?”
My Sentinel was
gone! What did I care about these people? I stared at the little ones, and I
thought of how he had loved them. I pushed myself away from the chieftain.
“The curse has been cast, it cannot be recalled. The most I can do is temper
it.” A sigh of relief rose to float on the night air, and my eyes narrowed.
“I would have followed my Sentinel down into the volcano. If ever there is
another Guide who loves his Sentinel enough to do that, then the curse will be
lifted.”
But there would
never be a Guide who loved as I had; I had no doubt of that. Satisfied that
these people would be punished until the end of time, I stumbled from the
village and made my way to the beach. There was nothing more for me to live for.
I walked into the surf. When the waves reached my chest I began to swim, and I
swam until exhaustion overtook me, and then I drowned.
****
I woke with a start, gasping for breath. I hated that
dream, and wondered what Freud would have said about it. Probably something
sexual to do with Naomi. I shuddered and found myself falling back into an
uneasy doze.
The dreams in which I would run through the forest on four
legs searching for someone had originally started when I was in my middle teens.
I used to look forward to them, because they would always result in an extremely
intense orgasm. Eventually, in spite of the pleasurable climax, I began to dread
the dreams. I could never find him, no matter how hard I tried, and the futility
of my search grew more painful with each dream, until it became unbearable.
I taught myself to stop the dream as soon as I realized I
was having it, and now months would go by before it disturbed my sleep again.
And even though I was able to prevent myself from dreaming, I always awoke with
a sense of loss.
This time, however, I had no control over the dream…
~~~~
I whined and crouched low upon the ground, my tail tucked
tightly between my legs. This place was not the usual forest in which I ran. The
air was hotter, thicker, heavy with humidity that had me panting in a fruitless
effort to cool myself. //Fear not, young Guide. Your Sentinel awaits you.// The
presence in my mind seemed to envelope the essence of who I was, and I was
comforted. //Now, go forth to seek and find him.//
A warm breeze redolent of the scents of the rainforest
carried a tantalizing odor that had me quivering in anticipation. I recognized
his scent! I bounded to my feet and began to run, my head thrust forward, my
nostrils flared, tracking him. Ahead of me the thick underbrush suddenly parted
to reveal a clearing that was carpeted with lush grasses and fragrant blossoms.
But all that mattered to me was the black panther who lay in the center of the
clearing, his blue eyes watching cautiously as I approached him.
//It is you?//
//It is me. It has taken a long time for you to find me.//
//And for you to find
The panther raised a massive paw and rested it gently on my
neck, and proceeded to run his rough tongue over my head and shoulders,
imprinting my scent on his enhanced senses. I rolled over onto my back, exposing
my vulnerable belly to him, and he nuzzled and licked at the sheath that
protected my cock, arousing me. I whimpered and parted my legs so he would have
better access to me.
The ground began to tremble and shake, and at first I
thought it was due to my approaching orgasm. A deafening sound tore the quiet of
that glade, and the panther flinched as molten ash fell from the sky. Huge rocks
thundered to the ground around us, and I bolted to my feet, ready to escape the
sudden madness of this place.
//Follow me! Hurry!// But he wasn’t behind me, and when I
looked back, I saw his beautiful black pelt burned away, leaving muscle and bone
exposed. I raced back to him.
//Leave
//Never.// Carefully, trying to cause him as little
additional pain as possible, I covered his body with mine. //I will never leave
you.// Together, we waited for the end…
~~~~
Incacha was squatting beside me when I awoke, carefully
brushing the hair from my face. I shivered and stared blankly at him, and pushed
myself into a sitting position. My headache had vanished, and I felt marginally
better, but the memories of the recurring dreams disturbed me more than I liked.
Never had they been so vivid, or so morbid. I’d never died in them before.
Incacha’s expression was somber. “Bathe and dress. It
is time.”
“There has to be some way for Jim to get out of this!
Please, Incacha!”
The ground trembled, and he balanced himself on his
fingertips and shook his head. “Enqueri must meet his fate.”
“’Enqueri’? Jim? Why do you call him that?”
“That is the name he has been given.”
“Okay, fine, I don’t care if you call him Little Bo
Peep! Look, I can make up some story that will satisfy Naomi. I’ll tell her
there’s no more chatarra, that it washed into the sea…”
“You do not understand. Without this sacrifice, my
people, this island, will be destroyed when the volcano erupts. The chatarra is
the price we have agreed to pay for the…” He used one of the words that I
couldn’t understand, and I grew impatient with myself. “… but we would
have met any price. There is no choice. Many…” again that word! “… have
died to appease Volcán
Repugnante, and still it demands more flesh.” His eyes were tired. He rose to
his feet and pointed to a pile of clothes. “Bathe and dress, and do not keep
us waiting.”
The boy showed me to a small waterfall where I was able to
wash off the itchy coating of dried salt water. He handed me a conch shell and
gestured toward my head. I poured its contents over my hair and massaged it in,
then stuck my head under the cascade of water and rinsed it out. By the time I
finished and was feeling more human, the soft shades of twilight had started to
fall. We returned to the little hut.
I examined the clothing and was surprised to find the dress
trousers and shirt were in my size. A more careful examination revealed that
they were mine; I had worn them our first night out to sea, and must have left
them behind in Jim’s stateroom when I returned to my own cabin the following
morning. I spared a thought as to how they had wound up on this volcanic island,
then decided I didn’t really care.
I stepped out of the hut to find the village brightly lit
with torches. The elders of the village, with Jim in their midst, ate the
crustaceans that had been harvested off their island’s shore, and drank the
potent beverage their women had fermented. The younger members of the tribe sang
and danced, joyful that a hero had been found who would save their miserable
asses.
The ground vibrated, and a terrified silence fell. Everyone
stared at Jim. He was wearing a black tuxedo that looked even better on him than
the white one. From where I sat, I could see him swallow heavily. Incacha’s
voice was quiet when he spoke as if answering a question. “There is no
ceremony, Enqueri. You just jump in.”
Jim swallowed again, stood, and faced the shaman. “Take
me to the volcano.”
Incacha pointed the way to a long, crooked path that wove
in and out and eventually wound to the top of the volcano. The tip was smoking
and glowed with a dull, sullen fire. The Chopecs followed, and I was left
sitting in the center of the village, alone.
As if a veil had been lifted, I suddenly understood the
Quechua words that had eluded my grasp. Sentinel! Guide!
Jim was a sentinel. I was a guide.
“No! No, goddamn it!” I ran after them, ignoring the
rocks and sharp bits of vegetation that bit into my bare feet. “Wait! You
wait, Jim Ellison! Stop right there!” I shouted.
To my surprise, he did stop, but he stood there ignoring
me. I was standing before him now. His face was calm, his eyes blank as they
stared into the flickering light of a burning torch that lit the way to the top
of the volcano.
Sentinels could lose themselves in sensory objects at
times; that was one of the reasons they needed a guide.
“Listen to my voice, Jim. Come back to me!” I spoke the
words over and over until finally he shook himself and met my eyes.
“Blair?” His nostrils flared, and he leaned toward me,
running his nose against the curve of my cheek and into my hair.
My breath was expelled in a sigh of relief. “Jim!” I
rubbed his arms. “I love you! I’ve fallen in love with you! All these years,
when I’ve protected my heart, when I swore I’d never… But now I’ve
finally found you, and you’re gonna kill yourself?”
He looked stunned. “You love me?”
“Jim, you just can’t die and leave me on this stinking
Earth alone without you!”
He raised his hand to touch me, then dropped it and stepped
back. “I love you too, babe. It’s great. I’m glad.” His eyes glittered
with unshed tears, and he blinked rapidly. “But the timing stinks! I gotta
go!”
“Jim! Will you listen to me? I finally understand the
words that Incacha was saying!”
“Go back down, and… huh? What are you talking about?”
“All those times when you knew what I’d said, even
though I’d hardly spoken out loud? When you heard the breakers on this island,
even though we were out of normal earshot? When you’ve seen things, or…” I
recalled the times when we’d made love, and blushed. “Or known that I wanted
you, or was ready for you to take me, just from my scent…”
“Yeah, so?”
“You’re a Sentinel.”
“I know that. You’re not making much sense. I’m still
lost, Blair.”
“Jim, I’m a Guide.”
“Since when?”
“Since forever. I just couldn’t find my Sentinel.”
His eyes blazed with excitement, and his face lit up. “A
Guide?” And then it fell. “It’s too late for me. Get out of here, Blair.
This is dangerous!”
“No shit, Sherlock! Don’t you understand?” I grabbed
his arm and gave it a shake. “You’re my Sentinel. I’m your
Guide! We belong together. Forever. Come hell or high water.”
“No.” He started back up the volcano like he had a
poker up his butt. “Blair, I don’t want you. Can’t you get that through
your thick Sandburg skull? I had fun fucking you, but that’s all it was! Now
get the fuck off this goddamned volcano before I pick you up and throw you down
off it!”
“What’s the problem, Ellison? Are you afraid of the
commitment? You’ll have to…” My voice cracked. “… to love and… and
honor me for about thirty seconds.”
“Blair, I used to be a cop. ‘Protect and Serve’
weren’t just some words on the side of a police car. I lived by that. And when
I stopped… I’ve got to do this, babe. I’ve got to be brave and jump in.
Good-bye.”
He was saying good-bye without even a touch, a kiss, a… I
was stunned. He had gone about a half dozen yards closer to the mouth of the
volcano before I was able to shake myself out of my stupefaction. “Just one
goddamn fucking minute, Jim Ellison!”
“Please don’t come out here.”
“Fuck that.” I stormed up to him. “I’m jumping in
with you.”
Time seemed to stand still. We were suddenly surrounded by
silence so thick it wrapped around us like a blanket. The shaman, his people,
the volcano itself, all faded into nothingness, and it was just Jim and I.
“Blair. I can’t let you do that.” He walked away from
me again, and I hurried to catch up with him.
I dragged him to a halt and spun him around. “I told you,
Ellison. I do what I want. And what I want is to be with you for the rest of my
life, for however long that might be. What I won’t do is live without you!
That wouldn’t be living, Jim, that would just be existing!” I reached up to
thread my fingers through the short strands of his hair and whispered,
“’Long ago...’” I embraced him, rubbing my cheek over his heart, and
willed him to feel my determination. “Listen to me! Nobody knows anything.
We’ll take this leap, and we’ll see. We’ll jump, and we’ll see.”
“Babe…” He touched my hair, which was being tossed
about by the breeze that had suddenly risen. “I’ve been miserable for so
long, years of my life wasted.” With firm steps, he began that final climb,
and I fell into step beside him.
We reached the top, and he stared up through the tendrils
of smoke that rose gracefully into the night sky. His arm came around my
shoulder. “It’s been a long and crooked road getting to you, Blair
Sandburg.” His head lowered, and for a second, his lips were warm and gentle
on mine. When he drew back, his eyes were shining. “Did I ever tell you, the
first time I saw you, it felt like I’d seen you before?”
“Really?” I sighed and laid my head against his arm.
“You’re not going anywhere without me. And please don’t ask me if I’m
sure, or I’ll shove you in before you can jump in!”
That startled a chuckle from him. “So, what are we hoping
for?”
“A miracle?”
He nodded and took a step closer to the edge of the
volcano. “I love you.”
“You do? Okay. Just please don’t start humming Bolero,
okay?”
Jim laughed again. “Okay. This is it.” Those blue eyes
of his gazed at me as if he was trying to memorize my features, and he took a
deep breath, then coughed at the sulfurous fumes.
“Dial it down.” My first official action as his Guide.
And my last. I waited until he was under control once more. “Give me your
hand.” I swallowed, but my mouth was too dry to even work up a thimbleful of
spit. I was so scared, but there was no way I was going to let him do this
alone. His fingers closed over mine. “I love you too, Jim.”
“Okay. On the count of three…”
“Just a second. One, two, three, jump? Or one, two, jump
on three?”
“Blair!”
“Sorry, babe.” I brought his hand to my chest, pulling
him closer, and kissed him. Then, side by side, we faced the future and stepped
out into space…
Part 7—The Raft—Again
We dropped like a pair of stones, rushing down to meet the
molten rock that dwelled in the belly of that volcano. The heat rose to steal
our breath. Sweat poured off us, breathing became increasingly more difficult…
And then we were being catapulted back, up and out, like a
pair of meteors flashing across the night sky. The force tore us apart; the wind
tore his name from my lips. “Jjjiiimmm!”
Compared to the heated night air, the water felt frigid. I
went in feet first, down, down, down, and just when I began thinking there was
no end, my journey was reversed and I was flung back to the surface.
I broke through the water, choking and gasping, having been
unable to prevent myself from taking a breath even though I had been under
water. My hair was wrapped around my face, and I scrabbled at it to get it out
of my eyes.
“Blair! BLAIR!” Jim was calling for me, desperation in
his voice. “Babe, don’t do this to me! Don’t you goddamn be dead while
I’m still alive!”
I had to cough to clear my throat. “Here! I’m here,
Jim!” I treaded water, not sure in which direction to swim.
“Blair!” My name sounded like a prayer. Suddenly he was
there beside me, hugging me so tightly I thought my ribs would shatter. “Why
aren’t you dead?”
“Why aren’t you dead? The Big Nasty blew us out!” I held on, content to stay there in his
arms forever. “Oh, god, Jim! It looks like we’ve got our miracle!”
We stared back toward where Isla del Volcán Repugnante should have been. There was nothing there. Had
the curse finally been lifted? Had the people of the little island found peace
at last? I didn’t care. They could take their own chances with fate. Jim had
nearly died because of them.
My lover stared
into the darkness that surrounded us in dismay. Well, it wasn’t as dark for
him as it was for me. “I hate to tell you this, Blair, but we’re gonna
drown.”
“No. I refuse to
believe that. We went through too much together. We’re gonna be all right!”
Abruptly, there were huge splashes, four of them. Jim’s
trunks breached the ocean’s surface and settled to bob lazily a few yards
away. “How’d you do that?”
“It’s a Guide thing, Jim.” I grinned at him smugly. I
wasn’t about to tell him I had no clue. A long rope trailed through the water,
still fastened to one of the trunks. Jim swam to that one, and I swam to the
others, retrieving them one at a time. He tethered them together, and once our
raft was secured, we hoisted ourselves aboard. Jim opened one and rummaged for
dry clothing.
We toweled each other off and dressed, too chilled to take
advantage just then of all the naked flesh available. “Oh, I do like the way
you look in my clothes, Blair.” Jim handed me one of the Coleman lanterns that
had been packed in that particular trunk.
“Good thing. These are what I’ll be wearing until we
make land.” Abruptly, I asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you were a
sentinel?”
“I was warned not to, that people would think I was a
freak or would be afraid of me. Why didn’t you tell me you were a guide?”
“Um… For the same reason?” I was not about to tell
him of the futile, useless, misguided searches that left me certain that I was
the one guide in the world who was destined to be without his sentinel. I
relaxed onto my back, gazed up at the star-spangled sky, and breathed deeply.
“Mmmm. Isn’t this romantic?”
“Yeah. But…”
“What’s the matter?”
“I’m still going to die.”
“What’s wrong with you, Jim?” He tensed, and I rolled
to my side. “You never told me exactly.”
He sat with his right knee crossed over his left leg,
leaning on it and staring thoughtfully into space. “I have a brain cloud.”
Had I heard correctly? “A brain cloud?”
“It’s this fog of black tissue.” He demonstrated with
his hand how it ran from his forehead to the base of his skull. “Y’know,
maybe I should have gotten a second opinion.”
“Jim, someone tells you you’re going to die from
something called a ‘brain cloud,’ and you don’t get a second opinion? What
are you?” I teased. “A hypochondriac?”
He wouldn’t meet my eyes, and it hit me like a blow to
the chest that that was how he saw himself. “I just felt so bad for so long,
Blair. And Doctor Banks…”
“So you listened to some quack who... Wait a second.
Doctor Banks? Doctor Simon Banks?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Simon Banks is my mother’s doctor. He doesn’t see
any other patients; Naomi owns him! He set you up!”
“Why would he…” I could see the light go on. “Fuck!
So your mother could get some asshole to be the hero she needed! And I was so
pathetic! I fell into their palms like a ripe plum! God, how stupid was that? I
let them make me a dupe, a pawn!” He stared into the light of the lantern,
sliding into a zone.
“Jim, no! Listen to my voice. Come back to me, babe. Jim!
Jim! You’ve got the rest of your life ahead of you!”
“The rest of my life. Yes. And I’ll be spending it with
you.” He stared into my eyes, and this time I was the one in danger of zoning.
His fingers caught in my hair and flexed against my scalp. “That’s great.
But still…”
“What? What is it now?”
“We’re on a raft; there’s no land in sight.” He
shook his head and peeked at me through his lashes. “I don’t know.”
“It’s always gonna be something with you, isn’t it,
Jim Ellison?”
“I’ll tell you something, babe.” A hand dropped to my
shoulder and yanked me into his arms. The other hand tugged my hair so my face
was tipped up. His lips were salty, but they were the lips I wanted to kiss for
the rest of my life. “Wherever we go, whatever we do, we’re taking this
luggage with us.”
I hugged him to me and sighed happily. “I wonder where
we’ll end up.” I nestled my head under his chin, content to sail on his
steamer trunks for the rest of my life if need be.
“Away from the things of man, my love. Away from the
things of man.”
And they loved happily ever after…
~End~
