Jew

Welcome back to another exciting year in the TNPFFL. Let me start by saying congrats to the champion Bimbos! They got their name on the trophy which proves to everyone that any team can win. On any given Sunday the Slugs, Pats, or even the Schnauzers can play like a champion. Keep in mind, there is no toilet bowl trophy. There are two new teams in the league this year as the Pit Bulls and Uranus get replaced by Woody's Wackers and the Black Thongs. The following information is for news matter and entertainment purposes only! If gambling is a problem for you or somebody you know, please call 954-439-4689. I can use some new blood for football season.

Players 5-1, Bombs 7-1, Bimbos 8-1, Felons 8-1, Slugs 10-1, Pats 12-1, Primetime 12-1, Woody's Wackers 15-1, Black Thong 15-1, Schnauzers 20-1

With the first pick of the 2003 draft, the Bombs will attempt to ruin the career of another great running back. This is the team who failed to make the playoffs with Faulk and Holmes on the same team. Word on the street is that Ricky will be selected number one. Nate hopes to win it all or destroy the Dolphins. The life of a Jet fan is a pathetic one.

The second pick goes to the Schnauzers. Will the third year be the charm? Don't bet on it! If you can't make the playoffs as a single man, your odds go way down as a married man. Don't think you are going to sit around and watch games this year. On the other hand, if things go the way they have in the past, you should have a lot of free time in November. At 20-1, somebody may take a shot and pick the Schnauzers in which case I only have one thing to say, NICE PICK!

At number three the mighty Players will try and get their name back on the trophy for a record third time. The Players are the odds on favorite at 5-1 as they are generally a good pick to make the playoffs. Gary has done 10 mock drafts to get ready for the big day, but the odds are that less than eight players will be on his December roster. The add/drop king figures to be there but it has never been my style to pick the "chalk".

The 4th pick goes to the all or nothing Felons. Can Faulk drop to number four and carry the Felons back to the promise land, or will they end up with a limping Priest? The Felons have never been a great drafting team as they usually lose interest by the second hour(3rd smoke break). Hard to pick the Felons but this writer will not stray from his team. GO FELONS!

With the 5th pick in the draft, the second year Primetime will try and build off a rather successful freshman campaign. It's not easy to win in your first year but even harder to win with all those Dolphins on your team. Ricky won't be there this year so which smelly fish will land on the Primetime roster? I say give them all to Primetime.

Picks six and seven go to the two new members of the TNPFFL, Woody's Wackers and Black Thongs. From a gambling stand point, you must throw these teams out of the equation. These two teams are what we like to refer to as "dead money". Welcome aboard!

The Pats are at number eight looking to get the monkey off their back. Take it easy Harvey, the monkey comment is not what you think! Can the Bellsouth boys put it all together and get their name on the trophy? If we took a vote, my guess is that Harvey would vote "no". Mike may be carrying dead weight and Harvey too.

At number nine, the Slugs will put an end to any momentum that the draft had with the first eight picks. For the other nine teams if you like the Slugs selection, You may want to use a late round pick on Pinkston. It will be your trade bait in week 8. Last year the Slugs tried a religious weekend to wake up his pathetic offense but even that could not change the fate of the Slugs. Go figure. Not even a prayer from Adam the Jew could save this team!

Rounding out the first round is the champion Bimbos. Last year it finally happened. This was the equivalent of the Rangers winning the Stanley Cup or maybe the Cubs or Redsox winning the World Series. Who would believe it? Not this writer but I do know one thing for sure, the Bimbos will not let you forget it! Can they repeat? I don't know if the card game is strong enough to handle that. Can you picture what it would be like to see the Bimbos every Tuesday if they were to win back to back championships! I would rather get married again.