First of all, they failed to realize they had 2 crowds to appeal too, to be mentioned shortly.  Obviously they weren't going to pull  in anyone with any concept of the purpose of money, as they expect people to willingly pay over $12 to watch it.  For 12 dollars  you can fill up your car with enough gas to do doughnuts and wheelies for hours.  For 12 dollars you could buy 30 pairs of  basketball shoes from a big bin in Dixie-gypsy mall and have a new pair of shoes every day for a whole month.  For 12 dollars you  could sign your self up for Latin-dance and finally DO something with your stupid life.  Or you could spend it on a two-hour movie,  sitting next to some ghost who can't see projected light for some reason, and a stupid horse who keeps talking to you about how cool he is.

This movie is full of important characters that drop out of the movie or turn into flowers, and takes place in a part of Europe here ordinary logic and physics drive on the other side of the road.  Ex. Apparently you can engage in martial arts combat after being stabbed in the heart.
 

It would have made sense to appeal to the: 1. Little video game playing boys who have spent countless hours taking Tomb Raider's shirt off in Adobe Photoshop, who would be more then willing to sell their grandpa’s WWII bullets for the required $12.50 or 2. The breast fans who are drawn in souly on the sexuality of the advertising.  With secret hopes that somehow by paying money to see it, Tomb Raider will be so flattered she'll hold them. Or that Tomb Raider will become their best friend till the end, and call them up on the phone, and want to hang out with them, and want them to come along when she goes on adventures. But they kinda short changed both crowds, which cut their satisfied audience down to runaways, and recently discovered families from the 1900’s; who haven’t yet experienced moving pictures, and freak out because of the 40 foot face on the screen.

This movie also failed to create scientific names that suspended our disbelief.   It’s convincing when a scientist type character explains something in a way you don’t understand, like Geordy on Star Trek explaining the holodeck, or the warp interstellar drive, or wormhole interstellar travel.  But when some rich archeologist's uneducated hoochy daughter announces that a yellow floating puddle is a Dead Time Zone, just because when a wolf tried to leap through one it turned into muscles, and then a skeleton, and then a wolf again, you find yourself believing the writers were middle-aged English working-class drunkards reading a science text book upside down. And what's with TV commercials at the beginning of the trailers?  You go to watch some tombs get raided and they force lemon shampoo and new cars and the globe and mail right up your pants.  Next they'll be advertising Fairywinkles and The Littlest petshop at the beginning of Schindler’s List, or 3 minute trailer-sized Menopause adds at the beginning of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Next thing you know they'll be commercials spread out through the middle of movies, and then they'll make weekly sequels and then you'll realize your paying $12.50 to watch reruns of NYPD Blue. In conclusion it would have made sense to make up for the weak story and typical special effects with either excessive Indiana Jones style booby traps, or excessive hoochy sexuallity.  Instead this movie attempted to be serious at times, and the only regret you feel when your favorite character gets knifed is, “I wish that was me getting knifed because at least that would be worth my $12.50.” I realize I didn’t really review the movie, but you better not complain or ill bomb to hell out of you with my poopies.  - RJ