Golf's bad name gets worse, thanks to prominent player

Web-posted: Wednesday, February 12, 1997

here are so many fine games that mature males can play. Games that satisfy the macho competitive instinct, keep the legs in shape, and give the ticker and lungs a bit of a workout.

Offhand, I can think of racquetball, handball, tennis, squash, volleyball, badminton, basketball, touch football and water polo. For those of us who are allergic to running and sweating, there is bowling, softball, shuffleboard and boccie ball.

So why, oh, why, with all these fine games available, did O.J. Simpson have to become an obsessive golfer?

For a variety of reasons, golf has always received a bad rap in many circles.

Some sneering sportswriters insist that golf is not really a sport, since a golfer is not required to run, leap or do bodily harm to his opponent. They also say that it can't be a true athletic activity if elderly men and women can play the game. (A psychiatrist would probably say that they are also the kind of uptight people who ask their siblings: "Gee, you don't think mom and pop still DO IT?'')

Although about 90 percent of all golfers play their rounds on public courses -- often low-cost municipal layouts -- golf is still viewed by many as a rich guys' game. The much-reviled "country club set.'' These social critics overlook the fact that many of the so-called "country club fat cats'' are able to afford the high price of privacy because they took full advantage of the American dream and stole their riches fair and square.

They are also periodically lambasted for being "exclusionary,'' which is a polite way of saying bigoted, because most private clubs don't have black members.

Which is true. But often overlooked is the fact that blacks are not the only group discriminated against by private clubs.

The earliest private clubs were mainly Protestant and did not want Catholic or Jewish members. So the Catholics formed their own clubs and excluded Protestants and Jews. The Jewish clubs reserve their membership for those of their own faith. I once asked a friend who is a member of a Jewish golf club: "I can't believe it -- you discriminate?''

He coolly answered: "Yes. But we did not invent it.''

None of this excuses the "exclusionary'' policies of the private golf clubs. But they should at least be given credit for being equal opportunity bigots.

It should also be noted that a lot of blacks who can afford to belong to private clubs choose not to, even when invited, since they prefer not to associate with a lot of white stiffs.

And when every other slur against golfers has been exhausted, there are those who love to point out that golfers dress ridiculously, are bores and neglect their loved ones.

It was a black comedian who once said that golfers are middle-aged, wealthy white guys, who take up the game so that they can dress like black pimps.

As for being boring, it is true. I sympathize with any non-golfer who finds himself in a room with a bunch of guys who played that morning and insist on describing every heroic shot, or, even worse, seeking pity because they hacked about like the klutzes they are.

As for neglecting family life, I suppose there are some who are guilty. On the other hand, what is so terrible about a man who has worked all week to unwind a bit by playing golf on a Saturday or Sunday from 8 a.m. until noon, then having a bit of lunch and a few drinks while settling the bets and brooding about the round from noon until 2 p.m. And then recovering from the deep sense of depression by playing gin and having a few drinks from 2 p.m. until dinner time.

Do we really want Jack to be a dull boy?

Should we all be workaholics like the Japanese, or Commie drones like the Russians were?

So with all the sneers and slurs heaped upon them and their game, golfers did not need O.J. to bring the game into even greater disrepute.

But that's what has happened. There is obvious malicious delight in the way writers and broadcasters don't miss a chance to note that O.J. is a golf nut.

"While the jury was deliberating, O.J. was at a golf club having lunch with friends... . Will the loss of his wealth mean that O.J. will have to give up golf, a game he plays fanatically? ... One thing is certain, no matter what his financial problems are, O.J. will never give up golf, and he might even be in demand by morbid curiosity-seekers at the many celebrity charity fundraising events... . ''

It is enough to make decent, law-abiding golfers conceal their fondness for the game -- like smokers who sneak out to the loading dock to have a few puffs when the boss and the office do-gooders aren't looking.

If he were a bowler, who'd care? If he was hooked on racquetball, would they be sneering?

Any other game. Why golf?

He has even managed to besmirch the memory of the late Harvey Penick, a wise old teaching pro who became a celebrity in his twilight years through little books of his golfing thoughts that became huge best sellers.

One of them was called: "If You Are a Golfer, You Are My Friend.''

If they bring out another printing of that book, they'll have to lengthen the title to "...Well, most of you, anyway.''

© 1996 Chicago Tribune