Arrest brings steak dinner issue
off the back burner

Web-posted: Thursday, March 20, 1997

etters, calls, complaints and great thoughts from readers:

PAT LAWRENCE, CHICAGO: I saw a brief story in the Tribune about a David Schlessinger being arrested as a pedophile for using liquor, marijuana and gifts to sexually seduce teenage boys.

It said that he ran an insurance company on the North Side.

Is this David Schlessinger, by chance, the same David Schlessinger you wrote about after he thought his steak was too well done, and he sued half the community of Lake Geneva, Wis.?

The story didn't say so, but the name is the same and so is his occupation.

COMMENT: Yes, I'm sorry to say that David Schlessinger, the accused predator of young boys, is David Schlessinger, finicky diner. If he is convicted of these very serious charges, I doubt that he will be sending any of his meals back. In prison, he might be considered a main dish himself.

ANN SPAETH, NICEVILLE, FLA.: I have read your columns relating to late-term abortions. I have been waiting for someone to address the ridiculous aspect of a bunch of MEN, piously denouncing abortion.

The problem is, neither you nor these other men have a clue as to what is involved in carrying an unwanted child, nor will you ever do so.

COMMENT: True, a man doesn't know what it is like to bear a child. On the other hand, I don't know of any woman who knows what it feels like to have a hole poked in the base of her skull and her brains sucked out, although some talk as if they might have experienced it.

T.L., E-MAIL: I really wish that you and others like you would stop using intentionally inflammatory terms like ''partial-birth abortion'' or ''late-term abortion.''

The correct term for this procedure is ''D & E,'' which stands for deletion and elimination.

COMMENT: OK, but does that make it feel any better?

JAMES K., EVANSTON: Until you got into this late-term abortion debate, I didn't know you were one of those right-wing pro-life religious nuts.

Of course, I should have guessed after your many homophobic remarks, your macho attitude toward women, your jingoistic attitudes toward Mexico, your racist attitude toward church burnings, and your cold-blooded support of the death penalty. The muddled thinking of so-called pro-life nuts amuses me, especially when you support the right of the state's so-called justice system to take a life through the death penalty.

COMMENT: I must insist that you cease using the inflammatory term ''death penalty.'' The correct term for this procedure is ''I & E,'' which stands for injection and eviction. That applies only to those states that use the injection system. In states where the electric chair is still in use, the term is ''T & T,'' which stands for ''toast 'em and toss 'em.''

SEAN DOUGHERTY, NORTH ARLINGTON, N.J.: I think you and Garry Wills are both all wet for excluding the real greatest Western of all time -- ''The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance'' -- from your lists. The actors acted, the tough guys were tough and the message worked in the story about law, order and standing up for what's right. Compared to the cartoon that was ''The Magnificent Seven,'' Liberty rules!

COMMENT: Are you serious? In ''Liberty Valance,'' the hero, played by the always whiny Jimmy Stewart, was both a lawyer and a politician. What kind of western has a lawyer-politician who can't shoot straight as a hero? And a hero who survives only because John Wayne swallows his pride and drops Liberty Valance with a sneak shot. Had John Wayne stayed out of it and let Jimmy Stewart fend for himself, Stewart might have survived with a wound. Then he could have sued Liberty Valance and the movie would have been realistic. Forget it, kid. Stick to Beavis and Butt-head.

AL SOLOMON, CHICAGO: Regarding the greatest westerns: ''Big Jake''? Garry Wills is nuts. Agree with most of your list. ''Magnificent Seven'' is among the best ever -- only ''Blazing Saddles'' (which may belong too) has more great lines. ''Shane'' is wonderful. Wills' knockdown of ''High Noon'' makes no sense -- and you're absolutely right about ''Red River.'' The only terrific moment in that one is the start of the drive.

But ''True Grit'' is pure crap. It's unwatchable. Even the song is crap.

Better: ''The Cowboys.'' Wayne is perfect in it (no one else could've pulled it off . . . well, maybe Ben Johnson), you can taste the dust and smell the cattle, Bruce Dern is eminently despicable, Roscoe Lee Browne is a wonder, the kids seem real, it's full of scenic delights and yay moments, and only ''Magnificent Seven'' has a better musical score.

So there.

COMMENT: Mr. Solomon, I have good news. Because of your bold stance on ''True Grit,'' members of the Great Western Gang have unanimously voted you in as a full voting member of the club. They did this for the pleasure of immediately voting to throw you out because of your bold but bubble-headed views on ''True Grit'' So there to you, too, bucko.

© 1997 Chicago Tribune