In Any Language, the Holidays Be Upon Us

Web-posted: Tuesday, December 24, 1996

etters, calls, complaints and great thoughts from readers:

Louise Morris, Chicago: Maybe I have led a sheltered life, but all this fuss about a black language called Ebonics has me confused. What the heck is Ebonics? I have black acquaintances at my job, but I have never heard it spoken there. What does it sound like?

Comment: I, too, have been looking for examples, but the half-dozen or so newspapers I read regularly have given us very little in the way of genuine Ebonics. The best example I found was on the Internet. English: Toys ''R'' Us. Ebonics: We Be Toys. I like the Ebonics version better.

Jack Hogan, Chicago: What happened to the word Christmas? Every place that I go, someone says, ''Happy holidays'' or ''Have a nice holiday.'' Isn't the word Christmas used any more?

In fact, I was reading your paper, and I came across an article in which the writer was asking us to contribute to that Tribune charity. And she wrote: ''So whether it's for Christmas, Kwanzaa or just a regular ol' mitzvah, it's a good thing to do.''

Kwanzaa. That is a new one on me. Can you tell me what it is?

Comment: What has happened is that many of us have become so jumpy about possibly offending someone that we say, ''Happy holiday'' because there is a chance that the person we're talking to might not be of the Christian faith. Or, heaven forbid, might be a member of the ACLU and will haul us into court for this breach of sensitivity. As for Kwanzaa, I believe it is some new holiday or observance of pseudo-African culture created in California, where many cultural trends originate and spread like a flu virus to the rest of the country. So a Merry Kwanzaa to you and yours.

Andrew Broselow, e-mail: Your commentary on the problem that many of us have buying gifts for our wives reminded me of my first Christmas present to my wife.

Before we met, she had been too poor to get her college diploma framed. I had it professionally framed and planned to surprise her. I put it in a great big box so she would not be able to guess at its contents. Before Christmas, she kept telling me that there was a sale on purses--I would say, ''Maybe you'll be lucky,'' thinking this would make the surprise even better.

The big day came and, of course, she was let down that it wasn't the purse. So much for the nice idea. Oh well!

Comment: Dump the ingrate.

John M. Lamont, Aurora: Your column on male gift buying brought to my mind a dinner with friends. We were discussing what kinds of gifts we had gotten our wives, many of the fur coat-jewelry variety. One of the wives announced that the best gift she had ever received from her husband was a manure spreader. Honest.

Her husband defended his purchase, telling us that his wife really did love her manure spreader because it was a real chore for her to have done the task with a shovel and rake. Her second most favorite gift? An indoor scaffold to allow her to hang wallpaper without using unsafe ladders. There is a husband who should be a model for us all.

Comment: Never mind the husband. Here we have a fine wife who should be a role model for every bauble-crazed female in this society. I wish my wife had been that upbeat when I bought her a snow blower because I didn't want her to wrench her back while using a shovel.

Lynn Swango, e-mail: I've been reading your column off and on for several years, and I still can't classify you politically. I know I am a conservative, and I sometimes agree with you and sometimes I don't.

What are you? Liberal? Conservative? Centrist? Moderate? Libertarian?

Everyone has got to be something. If you don't know what you are--the least you could do would be to admit it.

Comment: I don't know. But if you figure it out, let me know.

Joe Malls, Chicago: Sometimes I don't know if I'm going nuts or if it is the media.

Last week, your paper had sort of a debate between two movie critics over whether the movie ''It's a Wonderful Life'' was great or lousy.

To tell the truth, I never liked that movie because I've always thought that Jimmy Stewart is kind of a geek. But the critic who rapped it was as far off the wall as anyone I've ever read.

Among the things he didn't like was that there was something anti-Semitic in the greedy banker character played by Lionel Barrymore.

What a stupid thing to write. And what a stupid thing for a newspaper to print.

The Barrymore character had a bland WASP-American name. He didn't talk with any kind of accent. And anyone who thinks Lionel Barrymore ''looks'' Jewish ought to have his eyes and head examined. There was not one tiny thing in the movie to even hint that the Barrymore banker was Jewish. So how in the heck could there be any anti-Semitism?

This is the kind of look-for-trouble-even-when-it-isn't-there garbage that I'm getting sick and tired of reading in newspapers.

Comment: Me too. Have a Happy Kwanzaa.

© 1996 Chicago Tribune