"It does not take much imagination to realize that G-d is extremely
powerful. Often people say, "If G-d would only reveal Himself to me
in an obvious way, I'd believe in Him." However, it is not so simple.
For G-d to reveal Himself to a spiritually unprepared individual
would be like pouring 20,000 gallons of water into a fine crystal glass.
Not only would the person go thirsty, but he would also be without his
crystal glass. "
-Pinchas Winston, http://www.torah.org
"More than the calf wants to suck, the cow wants to give milk." This
expression is used in the Talmud in order to indicate how deeply the
Rabbis desire to spread Torah.
-Haaros-- Preparing for Torah
"And you know he, never met Will Rogers"
-unknown song[About a girl's boyfriend the artist didn't like much]
"'Have you found Jesus?... We're having a get together this Sunday.
We'd like for you to be there.'
"Why? Is Hale-Bopp coming again?"
-"Fence Off Campus", Eric Kang in the _Red and Blue_, Mar-1998
If you can't say something nice, say it in Yiddish.
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent
revolution inevitable.
-- John F. Kennedy
"you should probably change your sheets now"
--anonymous, aka giant client (names changed to protect innocent?)
... But as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can
easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed
and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession)
upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was
without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges' decisions based
on it were sound in logic and in law. Nothing in any existing court
was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and
sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no witches,
human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Frobnicate, v.:
To manipulate or adjust, to tweak. Derived from FROBNITZ.
Usually abbreviated to FROB. Thus one has the saying "to frob a
frob". See TWEAK and TWIDDLE. Usage: FROB, TWIDDLE, and TWEAK
sometimes connote points along a continuum. FROB connotes aimless
manipulation; TWIDDLE connotes gross manipulation, often a coarse
search for a proper setting; TWEAK connotes fine-tuning. If someone is
turning a knob on an oscilloscope, then if he's carefully adjusting it
he is probably tweaking it; if he is just turning it but looking at the
screen he is probably twiddling it; but if he's just doing it because
turning a knob is fun, he's frobbing it.
[Benjamin upon waking up the morning of two finals, 5/5/98]
i'm up and showered. it's a good thing. we'll kick butt. right on. let
me at 'em let me at 'em. grrr, grrr, grrrowl,,,,, let me hear you
quakers fight! fight, damn you! awww, come on. mommy, the quakers
won't fight! oh well son, I guess you'll have to have a free society and
let some fighters like those irish come in and fight for us. yup,
nothing like a good glass of irish coffee to get you up in the morning.
i love diversity. see ya later
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
In a forest a fox bumps into a little rabbit, and says, "Hi,
junior, what are you up to?"
"I'm writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes," said the
rabbit.
"Come now, friend rabbit, you know that's impossible!"
"Well, follow me and I'll show you." They both go into the
rabbit's dwelling and after a while the rabbit emerges with a satisfied
expression on his face.
Comes along a wolf. "Hello, what are we doing these days?"
"I'm writing the second chapter of my thesis, on how rabbits
devour wolves."
"Are you crazy? Where is your academic honesty?"
"Come with me and I'll show you." As before, the rabbit comes
out with a satisfied look on his face and a diploma in his paw.
Finally, the camera pans into the rabbit's cave and, as everybody
should have guessed by now, we see a mean-looking, huge lion sitting
next to some bloody and furry remnants of the wolf and the fox.
The moral: It's not the contents of your thesis that are important --
it's your PhD advisor that really counts.
There was a young lady from Hyde
Who ate a green apple and died.
While her lover lamented
The apple fermented
And made cider inside her inside.
There's a fine line between courage and foolishness.
Too bad its not a fence.
Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.
-- Henry N. Camp
"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic"
-Attributed Joseph Stalin [Iosif Dzhugashvili]
try this, it's a great website
http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/451/451.html
"As it has been said, ever since the Phoenicians invented money,
there has been only one way to say thank you. That is a pity. "
--Rabbi.Ephraim.D.Becker@webdreams.com, "Ph.D."
Steele's Plagiarism of Somebody's Philosophy:
Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.
"There are ten strong things in the world, say the Rabbis:
rock is strong but iron cleaves it; fire melts iron;
water extinguishes fire; the clouds bear aloft the water;
the wind drives away the clouds; man withstands the wind;
fear unmans man; wine dispels fear; sleep overcomes wine;
and death sweeps away even sleep. But strongst of all
is lovingkindess, for it defies and survives death."
-Hertz, The Pentateuch and Haftorahs, 211
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former."
-Albert Einstein
"It's clear that cracking the genetic code would be of significantly
less benefit if we allow our moral code to become cracked as well."
-V.P. Al Gore, proposing a federal ban on genetic discrimination
in the workplace as quoted in 2 Feb, 1998 TIME.
"No mouth pipeting allowed"
1998 Bioengineering Lab II manual
"He smiled and let his gaze fall to hers, so that her cheek began to
glow Ecstatically she waited until his mouth slowly neared her own.
She knew only one thing: rdoeniadtrgove niardgoverdgovnrdgog."
-from a story in the Badische Presse
"If you want something to be accomplished, give it to a busy person."
-Emerson (?)
"The blazing evidence of immortality is our dissatisfactin with any other solution." -Emerson!! Poems July 1855
"The tongue weighs practically nothing,
But so few people can hold it."
"My fellow Americans, I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever.
We will begin bombing in five minutes."
-Ronald Reagen, before a scheduled broadcast, unaware his mic. was on.
"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."
-- Albert Einstein
"Hillel taught:
Do not withdraw from the community;
Do not be sure of yourself till the day of yourdeath;
Do not judge your fellow human being till you stand in his situation;
Do not say 'It is not possible to understand this,' for ultimately it will be understood;
Do not say 'When I have leisure, I will study,' for you may never have leisure."
-Pirkei Avot, 2:5
translation Siddur Sim Shalom, p. 613
Quoth Mike Adams:
Organic chemistry is the study of carbon compounds.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic"
-Attributed Joseph Stalin [Iosif Dzhugashvili]
"Diplomacy is to do and say
The nastiest thing in the nicest way"
-Isaac Goldberg, _The Reflex_
"A conservative government is an organized hypocrisy"
-Benjamin Disraeli, _Speech on Agricultural Interests_
´¯`·.¸¸.·´
"Look, I want to give the high five symbol to high tech.... The truth is,
it reminds a lot of people of the way I pitch horseshoes. Would you
believe some of the people? Would you believe our dog?"
-then Pres. George Bush @the Ford Aerospace plant
A short time ago, A friend of mine had the following conversation:
Random Girl: So what are you thinking about studying?
Friend: (truthfully) I don't know.
RG: Let me guess. Math.
F: Why do you say that?
RG: I don't know, you look like a math person.
F: (removes glasses) Do I now?
RG: (laughs) No. Ok, now let me guess. Literature.
-Ben D. 9/9/97
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have."
"I'm much more than just a pair of breasts.... What I represent is success, hard work, and fun."
-Pamela Anderson, former /Baywatch/ star, in the British edition of /Esquire/, as quoted in TIME 6/2/97
Ezekiel 25:17
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities
of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the
name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of
darkness, for he is truely his brother's keeper and the finder of lost
children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengence and
furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And
you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengence upon thee."
-Pulp Fiction
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