******The Idiot's Dictionary of Medical Terms******
      
      Benign..............................What you be after you be eight. 
      Artery..............................The study of paintings. 
      Bacteria............................Back door to cafeteria. 
     
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      Barium..............................What doctors do when patients die. 
      Cesarean Section....................A neighborhood in Rome. 
      Cat-scan.............................Searching for kitty. 
     
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      Cauterize...........................Made eye contact with her. 
      Colic...............................A sheep dog. 
      Coma................................A punctuation mark. 
     
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      D & C...............................Where Washington is. 
      Dilate..............................To live long. 
      Enema...............................Not a friend. 
     
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      Fester..............................Quicker than someone else. 
      Fibula..............................A small lie. 
      Genital.............................Non-Jewish person. 
     
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      G.I. Series.........................World Series of military
baseball. 
      Hangnail............................What you hang your coat on. 
      Impotent............................Distinguished, well known. 
     
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      Labor Pain..........................Getting hurt at work.
      Medical Staff.......................A Doctor's cane. 
      Morbid..............................A higher offer than I bid. 
     
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      Nitrates............................Cheaper than day rates. 
      Node................................--Was aware of-- 
      Outpatient..........................A person who has fainted. 
     
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      Pap Smear...........................A fatherhood test. 
      Pelvis..............................Second cousin to Elvis.
      Post Operative......................A letter carrier. 
     
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      Recovery Room.......................Place to do upholstery.
      Rectum..............................Damn near killed him. 
      Secretion...........................Hiding something. 
     
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      Seizure.............................Roman emperor. 
      Tablet..............................A small table.
      Terminal Illness....................Getting sick at the airport. 
     
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      Tumor...............................More than one. 
      Urine...............................Opposite of you're out. 
      Varicose............................Near by/close by. 
     
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