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Epilogue

Here are some stories that I chose to leave out of the other pages.
They are all true, but somewhat on the heavy side.


Why Antonino Had to Stay in Sicily

You may remember that in the Tobias in America page, I mentioned that the Tobia great-grandparents did not come to the US until our great-grandfather died. Then when our great-grandmother Antonina, who was called, "la madri Nina"--the mother Nina, finally arrived in New York City, she told the family why her husband couldn't come while he was living. It seems that since he was a Don in his area, and there was a Don from that area in New York City at the time, our great-grandfather was not allowed in America since the other Don was here first. But they didn't want to tell their children this for fear they would try to bring him anyway and perhaps cause a problem. And so the old man died and was buried in Borgetto, his home town. When my dad, Uncle Tony went back to Sicily since arriving in the States, he visited his grandfather's grave, which was now the Ossario, a place where the bones of those buried for a period of years, are interred. In our grandparents' day it was just an open pit. Now there is a marble slab with an inscription and a place for flowers. Uncle Tony noticed that the inscription above the entrance to the cemetery had not been changed in all those years. It still reads, "Curri quantu voi, ca t'aspettu!" (trans. "Run all you like, I wait here for you!") So cheerful, don't you think? The Sicilians are nothing if they're not fatalistic.

As of this writing,Feb.3,2004 my father, Antonino "Toby", has been in hospital since Jan.12, when he went in because of abdominal pain. He subsequently had a surgical procedure which resulted in the removal of a 7inch piece of his colon, whereupon it was found that he suffered from colitis. This was all unbeknownst to us. At this moment he is still in recovery, and this is after 3 weeks. Also, his youngest brother, John, has just been released from hospital in Queens, NY because of a breathing problem.

August 15, 2004 SAD NEWS

On March 7, 2004, my father, Antonino "Toby" Tobia died after a 2 month stay in two different hospitals. He had recoverd from that awful surgery and was subsequently transferred to another facility that deals exclusively with "trach" patients; that is, patients who had had to have been intubated during and after surgery. While there, he developed what seems to have been yet another abdominal problem. The surgeons wanted to operate one more time, but we all, including my father--knowing full well what was in store, refused to give permission. He lived a good and satisfying 91 years.

On another front, John P. Tobia, my uncle was diagnosed with an agressive lung cancer and also went to his rest only weeks after his older brother. Since last November the last 3 brothers went to their rest. It's been an awful year for all of us.

On the other side of the coin, children are being born and cousins are getting married. The beat goes on.


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Non ce rosa senza spina. No rose comes without thorns.