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NEW YEAR'S EVE (TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31, 2013): Happy New Year's Eve, LairCronies! I've often asked myself if I should keep all my CyberLairs going--Including this one. Because Facebook and freaking Twitter seem to be eating my brain, I have trouble remembering to post here in the Home Lair more than every few months or So. But I'm keeping this sucker Up. Why? Probably because I don't know when to quit. However, there's no use making New Year's Resolutions (a complete waste of time for 99.9 percent of the population Anyway) to post here more Often; it's not going to happen unless I stop guilt-tripping myself about it. For that matter, I'm going to keep posting at The Confundus Conspiracy too, as long as the site doesn't delete it for me. I started a post talking about the ins and outs of being a Djinn-Seeker; and dammit, I'm going to finish that post!
In order to do all that stuff, though, something's got to give. I've got to spend less time on bloody Facebook; it's good for promoting things like my Squidoo lenses, but there are other good promo sites too. There are tradeoffs to be made: more time updating Squidoo lenses and promoting on LiveJournal and Myspace; less time on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest (yes, I've got one of those silly things too, on top of everything Else). So: Resolution 1--stop neglecting blogs and stuff. And maybe get back on Sonicbids. It didn't get me anything when my account was Active; but I knew less about marketing and promotion back Then. With what I've learned Since, maybe there's a chance it could pay for itself.
This past year, 2013, was the Year of the Snake, so they say across the Pacific pond. There was a lot of skin-shedding to do on many levels. It was a Major bummer when my old HP laptop was Stolen (I kid you not) from my neighborhood's Starbucks back around the end of November; but since most of the stuff on it has been Backed Up on CD's back home, perhaps the Cosmos was simply telling me that it was time to get a new effing laptop Already. So, now (writing from my Mom's house in Crossville, TN), my Mom has purchased me a brand-new Dell Inspiron 15 with Windows 7, which is working Fine thus Far. I do, of course, have to reimburse her in installments (she wasn't about to buy me a Christmas present running over $500, thank you very much).
This coming year will be the Year of the Horse in the Chinese calendar. Presumably this means building up stamina and working toward goalposts as Hard and Fast as Possible (among other things). This, for me, means fighting like hell to finish my CD and make more money than I subconsciously think I deserve. Change always comes kind of hard for me--it's been that way literally since the day I was born, when due-date time snuck up on me, and I was Caught in utero not having turned Around into the right position. Hence, I was born breach-style, dislocating my left hip in the process (my left leg was sticking straight Up while the right one was properly Curled up against my torso), and getting my umbilical cord wrapped part-way around my neck. Some kids die under those circumstances; but I figure I must have made it here for some reason, especially Given that both my parents nearly died at birth due to the Misguided tendency in the 1930's for doctors to induce labor early, for whatever reason.
Anyway...in addition to a nice, new laptop, I will need a new set of headphones, and funding for some Updated versions of software for music and photo editing, Including Photoshop Elements, Audacity, Finale Songwriter and possibly Pro Tunes or Cakewalk Music Creator (along with tutorials Provided, especially for those last two). Making money and obtaining funds will be a Major focus--but only to help with my music and online businesses. I also want to have a hysterectomy sometime in the next year. I have at least one uterine fibroid at the moment, Confirmed by two different ultrasound methods; and things have been getting Intolerable when, as my Canadian online friend Logospilgrim puts it, Voldemort beckons. But that's a whole 'nother post by itself. I need money to complete my CD project and go on an open mic tour: these constitute Job One for 2014. Together Across the World!! And Bust Justina Pelletier the fuck outta that Hospital!!
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THURSDAY, AUGUST 8, 2013: Dear LairCronies, I have Long been a Solitary in the world of folk music, ever since the old praise band at the little church formerly Known as Agape Lutheran Chapel (now called "The Chapel on the Ave", because that's where it's still Located, for better or worse) disbanded, along with most of the Agape community itself. I am still a busker, but a Solitary one. I want a band Regardless; so I am in the process of developing one on my laptop. You heard me--a new Potential band is Incubating on my Finale Songwriter software; and I am Determined that it will ultimately help me complete my CD, since no one Else will work with me, and I can't afford to hire anyone Anyway. The curiosity of having a band stashed Away on my laptop nearly inspired me to write a song about it. I figured I would title the song "My Band is All on My Hard Drive", and I would set it to the tune of O'Carolan's "Planxty Burke". Or maybe not. But then I got Busy, and so the song idea fell by the wayside. The software band, however, is still Incubating, and waiting to be Unleashed.
I am certainly not the first person to attempt to create instrumental parts for an album using music composing, editing or scoring software. Many a high school rock band is now enjoying Modest success on iTunes and Elsewhere, thanks to Pro Tools, Finale, Cakewalk, or whatever other electronic bass-and-beats program they could get their hands on. But since I'm apparently getting old and gray (well, not too gray just Yet), it's taking me longer than the Average 12-year-old to decipher the music-Related software I've got now (older editions of Finale Songwriter and Cakewalk), mostly because they've got so damn many features and functions to wade through. Shoot, I'm still learning new things on the version of Photoshop Elements I've had for over five years Now.
Anyway, thus Far, I've got the free download of Audacity music editing software, and the 2005 version of Finale Songwriter up on my hard drive, along with mp3 versions of all but one of the songs I've planned to put on my first CD (assuming the bloody thing ever gets Finished!). I've also got the software for Cakewalk Music Creator 3 in its Original packaging; but I really need to take a crash course on it via DVD tutorials or something; otherwise, I haven't got a clue how it all works. Why do I mention all these band-in-a-box software products? Because it seems to be my Only option for Full instrumentation on my CD at the moment. Why is that? Why don't I have an Actual group of backup folks playing on my recording project?
Funny you should ask. Well...given the Sorry outcome of my first-Ever crowdfunding campaign, I don't, first of all, have any funds to hire backup musicians; and I have an Awful time getting people to work with me in any Substantial way, for another thing. I do seem to be Jinxed as far as both money and professional success goes. Something is continually getting in my way, blocking my path, throwing wrenches in the machinery, and telling me I haven't got a chance in hell of doing what I really want to do in life. And besides, it continues, Decent people don't do what they want to do in life; their lives are Supposed to be all about other people. L'enfer, c'est les autres, as Sartre would say. L'enfer, et l'embouteillage aussi. Pas de choix pour toi.
In any case, I need a couple of guitarists--including a 12-string player; a bassist, percussionist, violinist; possibly a flute and hammer dulcimer. To be Honest, I'll have to go back and listen to each song a few times over again, to see what arrangement and instrumentation would fit it best. I already know the playback on Finale doesn't match the pitch on the Original recordings. Hence, the pitch will have to be Adjusted on either the software files, the mp3's, or both. And that Nebulous something that's jinxing my work had best get out of the damn way, because I've got some Uncrossing juju Brewing on the old hard drive too...
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TUESDAY, MARCH 5, 2013: Dear LairCronies, doesn't it goad you into a near-Homicidal rage when someone tells you, after a Longed-for occasion (be it a movie date, a chance to see your Favorite band, or some other event you've been craving practically Forever) falls through and leaves you damn-near Devastated, "Well, it just wasn't Meant to Be"? How the hell do they know that? For that matter, how do any of us know what's "Meant" to happen, or not Meant to happen? If anyone who routinely says such things can pass Along the link to sign up for your Higher Power's own e-newsletter, we'd all be much Obliged. I'm really Curious about this Oddball tendency to kinda-sorta predict the future after the fact, or whatever folks call Said horsepucky.
What's Meant to Be, or not Meant to Be, that is the question. It's an everyday issue with Yours Truly. Was my youthful wish to play fiddle/guitar backup for my favorite Irish musicians (Including for their Reunion tour) really not Meant to happen? Was I truly "not Meant" to study and collaborate with my all-time Favorite singer, who (not, I think, coincidentally) died suddenly the Very week I wrote him a letter asking about the status of an academic program he was trying to start up in southern California? And, of course, was I actually not Meant, Intended, or otherwise Supposed to work with my favorite Local performer here in the Seattle area? Is any musical collaboration or solo success at all "not in the cards" for me? My aunt's personal variation on the "Not Meant to Happen" ideology is that I'm "not Genetically Qualified" for my own life's work. For some reason, though, I have yet to hear her say what she thinks I AM "genetically Qualified" for. Hell, both my great-grandfathers on my Mom's side were Accomplished fiddlers; and many still-Living folks on my Mom's side are also musicians of some aptitude. On my Dad's side, my great-aunt Borghild Olsen over in Norway was, like me, a singer and guitarist. If those aren't "Genetic Qualifications", what the blazes is?
Longtime readers of my LiveJournal blog have probably figured out by now that I have Significant trust issues with Higher Powers and other authority figures. I still believe in the Divine; I just don't trust Him/Her/It completely. I do not find the phrase "God is in control" particularly Reassuring. I also don't much care for the notion that "If it's God's will, it will happen." This, for me, constantly begs the question, "What the heck do I do if it's NOT God's will? Maybe I want to do 'X' (or have it happen) Regardless. How am I supposed to pull off something I really want to do if whatever Higher Power doesn't care to give it the Divine green light?" Maybe it's just paranoia on my part; but that stems from the idea that God is Opposed to my musical career (and Various collaborations Therein) because it's something I want to do, as Opposed to something that was Assigned to me from the Cosmic HQ. During my youth, as I recall, I didn't do very much of anything because I wanted to do it, or took pleasure in it. So much of what I did on a Regular basis was an assignment from Home or School. Hence, I guess I got Accustomed to a rather "Assigned" existence, and still feel Insecure and borderline-Guilty about doing things strictly because I WANT to do them. I still feel that a good bit of my life is Saddled with someone else's expectations; and I wonder if I will ever be Rid of this sort of mental programming.
(UPDATE: APRIL 29, 2013) Not long Ago, I did a little experiment. I attempted to spend an Entire weekend doing only things that I truly wanted to do. Trust me, it wasn't easy. But I think I could get Used to that. I will speak more on this Later. Now, I'm off to deal with those who want me to fail at what I want to do, so I'll give it all up and resign myself to doing what THEY want me to do Instead. That, of course, is not going to happen. There is nothing "sinful" or "selfish" about doing your very own Chosen life's work. Alas, there are always those who want to chose and direct a Bogus sort of "life's work" for you...
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My Band is All on My Hard Drive
So, What Exactly IS "Meant to Be"? (Or, How to Predict the Future Without Being Accused of Occultism)
Return to the Home Lair.
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