Chronology:

Tuesday, October 11th ... a celebration with friends and family

Sunday, October 16th ... someone wise and knowledgeable puts it all on the table and someone too close to see clearly listens

Wednesday, October 19th ...leap of faith, never mind the real push that will be revealed much later

Tuesday, October 25th (nothing much happened on Tuesday, October 18th, that's if you don't count the "push" that I'll tell you about later)...Hell freezes over and Justin witnesses it on behalf of all mankind

Friday, October 28th ...you get ringside seats to the present tense

Friday, October 28th, 5:36pm

Justin sat back in his chair and forced his eyes away from the package on the coffee table in front of him. He'd let himself into the loft, taken a seat on the couch and put the box on the coffee table without bothering to take off his coat. He'd been studying the box for the last several minutes and memorizing its contents in his mind's eye. In the minutes when he managed to not look directly at it or imagine the object that had been placed inside, he'd instead been trailing the tips of his fingers over the similar object that sat quietly in his jacket pocket. Every now and then he let one of his fingers dip into the hollow middle for a few seconds before pulling it back and just trailing his fingertips across the metal.

He was slowly working up the nerve to actually put it on and keep it on.

Minutes passed, more minutes passed, an hour passed and Justin didn't move. He sat and he watched and he touched and he tried to make himself come to a decision about what he would do next. Somewhere between the hundredth and the one hundred and twentieth time that he ran the scenario over in his head, he realized that he had no idea what to do or what to say. He'd been about to start his analysis again from scratch when he heard the key in the lock and realized that he'd run out of time to make a decision.

Brian was back and it would be now or never.

"Hey." Justin turned to look at the man as he came through the entryway. In one smooth movement Justin had sat forward on the couch, snatched the little box off the table, deposited it safely in his pocket and turned to face Brian fully.

Brian hadn't really been looking at him and even if he had, he wouldn't have noticed Justin's movements. The man had instead taken only one quick look up when Justin spoke his word before settling his eyes on the bar stool that he intended to drop his suit jacket over the back of.

"Why are you home so early?" Brian sounded tired. He'd crossed the space from the door and was shrugging off his jacket as he went.

"I ditched my last class." Justin noticed Brian's slow movements and he noticed the weakness in the man's voice. "If you've drawn one pussy you've drawn ‘em all." He finished this quip with a smile but Brian didn't look up long enough to notice that either.

Justin stood up as Brian closed the distance between them. He hadn't been fooled for a second that Brian was purposefully trying to get anywhere near him. It had been patently obvious from the stack of mail the man was carrying that his sole mission was to reach his computer table and unload the last of his cargo.

"I wanted to talk to you some more about what...what I said." Justin followed Brian's movements with his eyes. The man was ripping into an envelope that looked like it housed a greeting card. In the seconds that it took Brian to acknowledge that he'd spoken again, Justin recognized the ‘greeting card' as a cleverly disguised piece of promotion/advertising from some company or another. Brian unceremoniously trashed the little package as he looked over in Justin's general vicinity again.

"What for?" The man still sounded tired but now Justin could hear the biting edge of one of Brian's bad moods in the undercurrent of the way he spoke these words.

"Because I've been thinking about it and I never did give you an answer." Justin dropped his eyes. He'd stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket and now his fingertips found the coolness of the metal again. It had been strangely comforting to touch the metal now whereas he'd found it alarming when they'd first become acquainted.

"You did give me an answer. You said no." Brian turned away from him and hit the button for the playback on the answering machine.

"I didn't say no. If I remember correctly, you're the one who said no first. You just surprised me when you brought it up again." Justin spoke tentatively. He'd had to speak up so that he could be heard above the dry tone with which Brian's terse message droned out of the machine. According to Brian's taped message, he knew what to do, but Justin was entirely sure that he didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he could expect from what was happening between them and he didn't know how to get Brian back into the mindset he'd been in on Tuesday morning.

Tuesday morning when all of this began to take shape...or started unraveling, depending on how you chose to look at things.

Justin watched as Brian rooted around in his desk drawer for a pad of paper. He was taking down the number for some person or another as the caller recited it from the machine. Justin hadn't really been paying attention to what the person was saying. His attention had been and was still shifting between thinking about how he would answer Brian's question, how the man would react and how they'd managed to get to this point in the first place.

He stood silently as Brian was systematically listening to and deleting the six messages that had accumulated over the course of the day. Justin was still drifting in and out of concentrating on what Brian was doing and concentrating on what he'd do when Brian finally turned his attention back toward him.

"Erase it or save it?" Brian was looking at him now and from the man's tone, Justin realized that this was a repetition of an initial question. Justin's mind had been a million miles away when Brian first turned to speak to him.

"I wasn't listening. Who is it?" Justin gestured toward the answering machine and waited for Brian to answer him.

"Your mother wants to know whether you're still coming for dinner tomorrow night. I'm not going."

"She invited both of us." Justin offered the first statement that popped into his head.

"Like I said, I'm not going." Brian was tapping a finger impatiently as he waited for Justin's response.

Justin had fully clued in on the dynamics of what was happening in the present. His mother had extended her invitation three weeks ago and in the wake of some of the more dramatic events of their month, they'd cancelled the invitation on two occasions already. It seemed that in the wake of this most recent drama in their lives, Brian had decided that dinner with the ‘in-laws', or ‘non-in-laws' as recent events would suggest, was entirely out of the question.

"You can erase it." Justin swallowed the rest of his protest and decided to attack the issue at the root as opposed to treating the symptoms. He'd turned his back to Brian and crossed the space toward the kitchen counter as the man erased the message. "Brian, what if I said yes?" Justin spoke quietly as he moved away.

"And what if I gave a shit?" Brian spat his words bitterly as he pulled at his tie. He and Justin were moving further and further apart and he in turn climbed the stairs to the bedroom.

Justin looked up to watch as Brian appeared behind the glass dividers that separated the bedroom from the rest of the space. He could see that Brian was undressing and he didn't need the clues from the way Brian was attacking the buttons on his shirt to tell that Brian was angry as hell.

"I know that you give a shit, so answer my question." Justin pulled the box from his pocket as he spoke.

"Doesn't matter. The offer is no longer on the table." Brian sniped as he eyed Justin from around the edge of one of the panes of glass.

Justin smiled a little. He'd seen Brian looking at him and he made sure to keep his hands down so that the other man wouldn't be able to see what he was doing. He fingered the lid of the box and pulled it off as he watched the blurry image of Brian's form walk toward the closet.

Justin took this break in the storm to reevaluate his plan and his thoughts about what he would do. There was something to be said for being in the moment and in that second he felt sure that he knew. He'd deposited the contents of the box on the counter and he slipped the box into one of the drawers beside him.

Brian was changing his clothes and in a minute or two there would be no going back. It was one thing to be shot down when he offered, but it was another thing entirely for Justin to find out that not only had Brian had a change of heart but that the man and changed it back in the face of his negative reaction. Justin shrugged off his jacket and dropped it over top of Brian's on the back of the barstool. He'd heard when Brian went into the bathroom and he took this as another opportunity to settle his stomach.

The first time that he'd done this had been nerve racking enough, the second time he'd experienced this, it had been shocking enough, now with this third shot at it, Justin hoped they'd be on the same page.

A few moments later, Brian was walking toward him and Justin stood his ground. The taller man had changed into a black wife-beater and jeans and Justin watched his approach. From the wet strands of hair at Brian's temples and forehead, Justin could tell that he'd washed his face. Just like he'd told Brian so many times before, Brian always looked good enough to make him thank God that the man had found him so hard to get rid of in the first place.

"I thought about everything that you said the other day..." Justin tried to catch Brian's attention as he walked around him to get to the refrigerator. "...And can I just say that you scared the shit out of me." Justin laughed uncomfortably as Brian continued to ignore him. "It's just that I don't know why it should be any different. Like you'd said the first time, it's not like we need it to make things any better than they are and I didn't want you to think you had to do this...I mean I know that you don't do anything that you don't wanna do..." Justin was babbling now and he knew that Brian could tell that he was nervous.

But Brian still wasn't looking at him, opting instead to pour himself some more juice after emptying his first glass. He had already heard all that he wanted to of Justin's explanation for why he'd changed his mind and it hadn't taken long for him to ‘agree' with the change of heart. After all, if Justin didn't want it, Brian was the last person on earth who would take to trying to sell him on this prospect. A commitment like this wasn't the sort of thing that you slapped a gimmicky advertising slogan on and tried to convince your partner to agree to. No matter how talented he was, Brian wouldn't use the hard sell here.

"Would you let it die already? You said what you wanted to say and I said okay. So leave it the hell alone." Brian set his glass on the counter with a heavy thud and moved to walk away.

"This is yours." Justin intercepted him as he tried to make his get away. He'd come to stand toe to toe with Brian at the side of the counter and he slid the ring across the countertop and into Brian's view.

Brian dropped his eyes to the direction of the scraping sound under the movement of Justin's hand on the countertop. He watched as Justin moved his fingers away to reveal the platinum band that he had left on Justin's pillow on the Tuesday of that week. Brian felt the pit of his stomach drop slightly at the thought that this was definitely the last act to formalize his defeat. He'd not only given Justin words but he'd given him this ring. The words had been tossed back into his face and now his ring was suffering the same fate.

"It's yours Justin. You can trash it if you want, I don't give a fuck." Brian turned to sidestep the other man and he ran a hand through his hair to give himself something else to do aside from screaming.

"Brian." Justin reached out to set a hand in the small of Brian's back as he closed his fingers around the material of the wife-beater. The other man had been determined to get away and Justin had to pull at him to get him to stop walking and turn around again. Justin had waited for Brian to find his eyes before slowly raising his left hand into Brian's view to reveal his newly clothed ring finger. He'd turned to glance at the very similar silver ring on the counter before confirming his previous statement. "Like I said, this is yours."

Wednesday, October 19th, 4:10 pm

Ignoring the looks that he was getting from the women he passed, Brian slipped on his sunglasses as he emerged from the office tower and into the sunlight. He had left the office early so that he could make his stop without raising any suspicion from Justin about his whereabouts and as Brian crossed the intersection, he made sure not to concentrate too hard on what he was doing or on what all of this meant.

He ducked into the marble entryway of a jewelry shop and the tall saleswoman noticed him immediately. Brian's suit was expensive, the haircut was stylish without trying too hard, his features were flawless, and the man had an air about him that completed the package. The way he moved spoke of the fact that he knew he was hot but that he didn't give a fuck if that made your knees go weak or not. She'd watched him for a few minutes and made a note of the areas of the store that he gravitated towards. From the way he'd absently scanned the display of women's necklaces to his right and the watches to his left, she'd made a mental note to not offer him anything cheap. Nothing in the store was under three grand but she'd decided that he wasn't there to look at these less expensive baubles that were kept at the front tables. He was looking for something specific and according to one of the key rules of salesmanship, she wouldn't approach him until she was sure of what it was and the angle she would use to get him to buy the most expensive version that they carried.

Brian would have appreciated her guile and cunning.

He had moved towards the display of wedding bands and ignoring the engagement rings, had picked through them for exactly what he was looking for. He'd decided to go for something as plain and as classic as it got and the high polish finish of the thin band caught his eye instantly.

"Can I show you one of these bands sir?" With keys in hand, tall saleswoman had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

Brian looked up and took in the white blonde hair and the vibrant blue of the contact lenses that she wore. She'd had a nose job and the cheekbones looked a little too perfect to be the real McKoy. Nothing about this woman spoke of natural beauty but all these replacement parts made for a striking beauty nonetheless.

"Platinum?" Brian gestured toward the display case.

"Yes they are." The woman was unlocking the case and now she pulled out a rectangular tray of rings for Brian's examination. She'd purposefully pulled out a set of bands that she knew were the priciest in the case. Luck being on her side, the one that Brian had his eye on was in that tray.

The saleswoman moved the tray over to one of the little sitting areas between the cases and Brian took a seat as the woman continued. "These are by an Italian manufacturer. The bands are 1/6 of an inch width with a high polish finish. We have a wide selection of detailing and styling and these men's rings are all matched to a complimentary ring in our case of women's wedding bands."

It seemed that Brian's instincts had led him to select a men's ring exactly as he'd intended, but that his saleswoman's instinct had led her to the incorrect assumption that he was there to shop for a matched pair.

Brian chose to ignore the last of her comment and reached for the band that he'd been looking at. It was then that he noticed something about the ring that he hadn't before. Inset on the interior of the band was a row of diamonds and a space beneath the row for an inscription. No one besides the giver and the wearer would ever have to know that they were there.

He slipped the ring on to his pinky finger and gauged the fit. Justin didn't wear rings but Brian had managed to do some sleuthing in order to figure out the size that would fit him. He'd found Justin's high school graduation ring and managed to get Justin to try it on. It had still fit Justin's ring finger and Brian had planned on simply bringing the ring with him to the store so that it could be measured. His plans had been foiled when, having left the ring out in view of meddling eyes, Jennifer Taylor had suggested that she take the ring for safekeeping. It seemed that the woman didn't think that the memory box she'd been keeping in Justin's honor, had enough to remember him by just yet.

Resorting to Plan "B", Brian had tried the ring on himself and figured out that any ring that would fit his pinky would also fit Justin's ring finger.

The display ring was a little snug on his finger and Brian turned to address the saleswoman again. "This is a little too tight. I need a half size bigger or I need you to size this up a bit." He'd slipped the ring off his finger and dropped it on to the velvet that the woman had spread out on top of the table.

"If it's to be a pinky ring, may I suggest that you take it snugger rather than looser. I mean, you wouldn't want to lose it if it slipped off." She'd noticed that the ring was by no means tight on Brian's finger so she was having real trouble figuring out why he would want to make it looser.

"It's not for me and I know it would fit the person better if it were looser." He'd answered her flatly and his tone dared her to ask for more specifics.

She hadn't needed to.

The men who came in and stopped in this section of the store usually concentrated on the engagement rings and those that didn't very rarely asked to buy a men's wedding band in a smaller size than would obviously fit their own finger.

She smiled slightly before continuing without one missed beat. "Do you think he'd like the band itself to be a little thinner as well?" She was good at her craft and she'd figured out this new variable and rolled with it effortlessly.

"The thickness is fine. The style is fine." Brian held her gaze for a few seconds before she looked away to search through the similar bands for the size up from the one on display. He'd had to order the ring remade on a rush because the store hadn't carried the required size in the readymade collection and the diamond inset made it so that the display ring couldn't be resized to fit.

After a trip to the engravers, three days and fifteen thousand dollars later, a little unmarked package had been delivered to Brian's office and no one had been the wiser.

Sunday, October 16th, 11:40 am

"I think you should do something really special for his birthday. You only turn twenty-two once, right?" Lindsay flitted around the kitchen as she finished up packing Gus' lunch.

It was now the weekend and she'd been addressing a very lethargic Brian who sat at the table just behind her. In the last five years, they'd all seen to it that Brian remained very involved with whatever Gus was doing and between him, Lindsay, Melanie and even Justin, they'd given new name to parenting.

On this bright and early Sunday morning Brian was there to pick his son up, drive him to a play date later on in the day and then take him shopping for new clothes. They'd made sure that their assigned roles fit into what they were good at and for Brian, shopping for Gus and keeping him entertained sounded about right.

Brian didn't answer Lindsay's suggestion. He'd opted instead to offer her only a quick glance up from his coffee-cup before downing the last of the liquid in one unattractive gulp.

"You know what he wants too. He's only been hinting at it for the last year." Lindsay brought the little lunch box over to the table and sat down.

"What? A gold plated butt-plug?" Brian flicked his tongue suggestively to punctuate his comment and Lindsay slapped his arm.

"Gold, silver, platinum, that's up to you. But it's certainly not a sex-toy."

Catching her meaning, Brian rolled his eyes. "He's too young and too blonde to know what he wants and I'm certainly not stupid enough to give it to him." Brian got to the point as he continued fingering the cigarette that he'd pulled out and put on the table. This was to be weedless outing as long as he was in Gus' company and he'd planned on slipping out back for a smoke before he and Gus packed up and left Muncher Villa. "Besides," Brian's lips turned up into a grin as he spoke his next few words, "I'm certainly too young to grow those roots."

He kicked his chair out from under the table and moved to the backdoor of the house as he finished his last comment. He fully expected Lindsay to follow him.

"I'll give you a little heads up Brian. Justin wants this and I think he just might beat you to it if you don't bite first." Lindsay let the door close quietly behind her before finishing her thought.

"Fuck off." Brian addressed her with a puff of smoke. He'd caught her meaning and he'd certainly caught the hints that Justin had been leaving in marquis sized lettering over the last few months.

"He's going to come right out ask you one of these days, so I'd think up a better answer than that if I were you." Lindsay stood firm.

"I'd probably give him the same answer." Another puff of smoke and another quick rebuttal from the king of the one-liners.

"Who are you trying to shit? I'm the one who helped you to get him back years ago and I'm the one who knows how things really are." Lindsay had gotten right into his face with her statement and she'd turned away and softened a little before continuing. "I know what you'd do and what you wouldn't do Brian. I honestly think this is something that you would do."

"I told him that I wouldn't do shit just to keep him around. If he needs to walk again, then he should go." Brian made a successful turn at sounding nonchalant but both he and Lindsay knew all too well that sounding nonchalant and being nonchalant were two entirely unrelated species.

"Don't say you weren't warned as to what's coming. I know what makes you happy and if you get hurt again then once again, it'll be entirely your doing." She caught his eye and then slipped back inside the house leaving Brian to contemplate her words.

Ten minutes later and two cigarettes later Brian was still sticking by his original response of "fuck off". He'd listened to Lindsay's preaching without once disclosing the fact that her warning about what Justin would do was just shy of five days too late.

Justin had already popped the question and Brian had already made himself very clear.

Brian took another deep drag from his cigarette and ground the butt out under his boot. Thinking of Gus finding it on some future adventure, he bent to pick it up before tossing it into the garbage can nearby.

The more he played Lindsay's words over in his head now, the more preposterous they sounded. There were certain key facts that remained unchanged no matter how many layers of rose-colored romance you coated them in. The fact was that Justin was twenty-two years old and Justin was too young to know what he wanted and what would be the right thing to do in the long run.

A few more thoughts had occurred to Brian on this his one thousandth run through of the cons and he struggled to convince himself of his own opinions. His clear position that they weren't dikes who couldn't wait to shop for Vera Wang was now being challenged with the reality that despite the fact that Justin had been blown off course a few times, he'd ultimately made the right decisions and was more focused about the way he wanted to live his life than many of the rest of them put together.

Justin was young, but chances were that he wasn't confused and he wasn't laboring under any fantasy about what their lives would be like together.

Sunday, October 16th, 7:10 pm

"Honey, I'm home." Brian smiled sweetly through his sarcasm as he pushed the door to the loft open. He'd had second thoughts about the implications of his words in the instant that he'd spoken them. The last thing that Justin needed was a reminder that Brian wasn't content to play at wholesome domesticity with him. After all, it was only five days ago that Justin had asked for what Brian refused to give him.

"Hey. How was shopping with Gus?" Justin peeked at Brian from around the freezer door.

"I lived." Brian slid the door shut behind him and walked toward the other man's voice.

Justin came around the kitchen counter and kissed him briskly. He'd reached for the bag of stuff that he'd asked Brian to pick up. "Did you get everything I wanted?"

"Yeah. I had lots of fun picking out the zucchini." Brian offered another sweet smile and tried to gauge Justin's mood. He'd been shrugging out of his leather jacket as he watched Justin's movements.

"I didn't ask you to get any zucchini so you must have been picking up a little something extra in the vegetable section." Justin was neither smiling nor frowning but Brian didn't like the way he'd said these words.

They'd managed to just skirt the margins of monogamy, but Brian was sure that in the face of his recently suffered rejection, Justin was in no mood to hear about the occasional trick.

"What's for dinner?" Brian walked around the counter slowly and hung his jacket over the barstool next to him before taking a seat. He watched through the steam as Justin worked at the cook top.

"Soup and salad." Justin spoke without looking up from what he was doing. He hadn't cooked anything in a while and he wasn't doing this for pleasure. "We've been practically eating our body weights in food over the last few days." With these words Justin glanced up at Brian's face before quickly dropping his eyes again. He'd been referring to the feasts that Debbie and Lindsay had been treating the gang to over the past week and he'd been referring to his spur of moment proposal on Debbie's porch; both the feasting and Justin's bravery having been inspired by his impending twenty-second birthday.

Brian hadn't missed the significance of Justin's reference and he thought back to Lindsay's warning earlier in the day.

"You don't want this Justin. So leave it at that." Brian rolled his lips into his mouth as he waited to read the dead giveaway facial reactions that would no doubt come over Justin's face. It was these reactions that Brian trusted more than he trusted words.

Justin treated him to a shake of his head before responding. "Don't say it's not what I want. You say it's not what you want, so we'll leave it at that." He'd offered Brian this terse response before catching the man's eye once again.

Brian offered Justin a wry smile before standing and pushing away from the counter. "Suddenly I'm not so hungry." He'd been striding toward the bedroom when he heard Justin's words behind him.

"I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised by anything you do. I knew I wanted to ask you, but I also knew that you'd say no. You're just not ready for me Brian." Justin shrugged as he went about what he was doing. The years had made a revision in his usual manner. Now he uncompromisingly told Brian exactly what was on his mind and he made sure that Brian heard him.

"Don't analyze me Justin." Brian spoke without breaking his stride or turning around.

"You're just not ready for us." Justin's muttered these last few words but Brian heard him.

"What did you say?" Brian pushed the glass dividers open and looked across the space at Justin.

"You heard me." Justin wiped his wet hands in a cloth and turned the pot down to a simmer.

"So what now? You don't get what you want so you pout or you pull your disappearing act. Which will it be this time?" Brian offered his words sarcastically.

"Fuck you." This statement made, Justin stepped around the counter and crossed the space to the television that he'd left muted on the other side of the room.

Brian watched him for a few minutes before turning away and pulling his t-shirt over his head. Justin couldn't see it, but the other man had been smiling a little as he crossed the space to their bathroom.