Ethan pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he rounded the last corner before his apartment building. His head was still swimming from his visit to the diner and he wasn't sure which part of their discussion Debbie had actually considered beneficial to his cause. Ethan was focused on what he would say to Justin when the other man finally came back and he'd been counting on his legs to find their own way home. If not for the sound of a car backfiring down the side street to his left, he would never have turned to see the Jeep parked on that street or witnessed the seemingly intense conversation between its occupant and the man standing outside. He'd watched as both Brian and Justin turned toward the sound before slowly focusing their attention on each other once again. They hadn't said much of anything as far as Ethan could tell from this distance, but they also hadn't taken their eyes off each other either.

A few moments before Ethan had happened along, Brian had been tracing his fingers over the edge of the steering wheel as he listened to Justin undo his seatbelt. He'd watched out of the corner of his eye as the other man got out and pulled his backpack out behind him before turning to wave goodbye to Gus. Having done as much as he thought he could do to lash out at Justin and to hurt him, now Brian felt tired. He'd been thinking about how he was going to keep up with an overly energetic two-year old for the rest of the day and he'd felt sick to his stomach as he listened to Justin's parting shot.

"You make it too hard Brian. That's something I have to try harder to remember so that I'll be able to get through this."

A car close by had backfired just then and both men had thought it the perfect punctuation to a completely draining experience. Brian turned to look to his left to find the source of the sound and he met Justin's eyes as they eventually returned to the task at hand. A few moments passed and neither man made any effort to leave or to end the stand off. Brian looked at Justin and Justin looked at Brian. Neither man said anything or did anything and Ethan observed it all.

He stood at the intersection not fifty feet from the Jeep and in full view of either one of them if they dared to break their eye contact, and yet neither one saw him. Ethan waited like that for some identification of his presence and when none came he made his feet move again to finish the journey home. Some part of him reasoned that there had to be a perfectly good explanation for why his lover was now standing one block away in deep thought and silent conversation with a man who was supposed to be part of his past.

"Go home Justin." Brian spoke up sometime after Ethan had walked away and Justin nodded in agreement.

"Later." Justin took a step back on the curb and pushed hands into his pockets.

Justin watched as Brian threw the Jeep into gear and pulled away. He waited until Brian rounded the corner before walking away. Justin thought about the fact that Brian had told him to go 'home' and he smiled a little to himself. It had taken a while to make the loft feel like home and Justin figured it would take just as long to find home anywhere else.

"Speak of the devil and the devil appears." Debbie whispered as she jabbed another of the waitresses in the ribs and both women turned to look at the door. Brian cursed under his breath as two idiots almost bowled he and Gus over in their haste to leave the place. Debbie watched as Brian took small steps behind his son who toddled along quite contently, stopping to inspect the legs of the counter stools as he went along. Gus was oblivious to the fact that he was seriously impairing his father's ability to make his normally cool and arrogant ‘entrance' into the place and Brian was oblivious to the fact that entrance or no entrance, every guy he passed was cruising him nonetheless.

Brian let his eyes pan around the room quickly and pushed his hair out of his eyes less for effect, than practicality. He was still feeling tired and drained from his conversation with Justin but that fact hadn't seemed to impair his attractiveness to these men. Even though he'd lost weight, Brian Kinney in tight blue jeans, a fitted wife-beater and a crumpled white dress shirt still did the trick and then some.

"There's my precious baby." Debbie rushed towards Gus as the baby neared her at the counter. She'd taken mild offense to the fact that Gus's immediate reaction was to retreat and grab hold of one of Brian's legs.

"It's the fright wig Deb." Brian smiled a little before reaching down and pulling Gus up from his hiding spot. He took a seat on one of the counter stools before arranging Gus in his lap. Gus's prompt and expected reaction was to reach for the paper napkin dispenser in hopes of setting all the trapped little napkins free. "Coffee, to go." Brian addressed his words to the other waitress as Debbie continued her attempts to cover Gus in her lipsticky kisses. Brian had pushed the napkin dispenser just out Gus's reach and the baby, in true Kinney fashion, let his outrage be known.

"Shh, Gus. Here you go honey." Debbie pulled the napkin dispenser closer to a sniffling Gus before lifting her eyes to address Brian. "Daddy doesn't mean to spoil all your fun."

"Fun? You'll be the one cleaning them up, not me." Brian scoffed and watched as Gus promptly started depositing napkins on the floor next to where he and Brian sat. The man shook his head a little before turning to remind the younger blonde woman behind the counter that he'd ordered coffee to go all of twenty-five seconds earlier and had no intention of waiting any longer for it.

"Hold your fucking horses, and you're having more than coffee for breakfast." Debbie slapped Brian's arm slightly and moved away to join the other woman behind the counter. "Get his bitchiness some eggs and toast too."

"I'm not going to eat it Debbie so don't bother." Brian snapped at her. He'd been everything nasty and then some when addressing the other waitress and Debbie had gotten the tail end of his sniping tone.

"Don't mess with me Mister. You're like a fucking rail so you're gonna eat. And bring some cereal for Gus here." Debbie wagged a finger at Brian and the man rolled his tongue in his cheek before huffing a small laugh.

"You try to kiss my son with that foul mouth?" Brian let his voice soften a little. "Besides, I'm just trying to keep my girlish figure." Brian didn't laugh or even pay attention to his own joke, instead turning to make a sidelong glance at the man who'd taken a seat next to him at the counter. The brown haired man had turned to smile at Brian and Debbie interrupted the eye fucking to slide a coffee cup across the counter to the newcomer.

"Eat first. Fuck later." She'd filled the other man's cup up before turning to face Brian again. "I think you're too thin but it doesn't seem to have affected your popularity any."

Brian offered the stranger one more glance before turning his attention to Gus again. He'd pushed the napkin dispenser out of Gus's reach again and this time the baby didn't notice. He'd freed enough tissues already by dropping them on the floor and now he was wrestling with Brian to be set down so that he could play with them.

"So what did you and Justin talk about?" Debbie leaned across the counter to address Brian quietly.

The man raised his eyes slowly and tried to make out what she was up to. "How do you know that I saw Justin?"

"Because Lindsay called me looking for you and wanted me to sit with Gus. I know Justin went over there and since you're here now with Gus..." The woman let her words trail off as she waited for Brian to answer her question.

"Mind your own business Deb." Brian emptied the contents of a fourth packet of sweetener into his coffee. Debbie had taken the liberty of pouring his take out order into a mug and setting it in front of him.

"Well in case you haven't noticed, you and Justin are my business and you two are morons when it comes to doing this right." Debbie had gotten a little louder somewhere in the middle of her words and she looked around as she finished speaking.

"Leave it alone Debbie. Volunteer some more hours at PFLAG, buy some new buttons, I don't know, but find something else to occupy your time. The Sunshine is gone, so just let it die already."

Debbie took note of the whistful tone she would never have thought to find in Brian's voice. She watched as the man turned on his stool to put Gus down on the floor behind him. He had taken this opportunity to turn his attention away from Debbie until his food came along.

The trick to Brian's left had reached down to run a hand across Brian's thigh and up to his pocket to push a piece of paper under the tight denim. Brian turned to watch the man walk away and gave him a quick once over. Having found him acceptable, Brian decided to keep the number for later.

His attempt at ordering take-out from the diner had failed miserably, but tomorrow after Gus went home to his Mommies, Brian intended to eat in.

"Ethan?" Justin called as he came into the small apartment. Having left the man to his practice, he'd expected to hear Ethan playing the minute he entered the building. Justin dropped his backpack by the door and moved into the room, pulling off his jean jacket as he moved. After leaving Brian, he'd taken one of his pills and walked around the block a couple of times in hopes clearing his head. Now that he felt sleepy from the medication, all he wanted to do was to go back to bed.

Justin let his eyes float over the space around him and followed the trail of clothes from the door to the bathroom. He'd spotted Ethan's violin laid carefully on the table so he knew the man was there somewhere.

"Ethan?" Justin pushed the door to the little room open as he called again. The other man had been standing in front of the face basin and from the steam on the mirror and the water on his skin; it was obvious that he'd just finished his shower. "Hey." Justin smiled. "Look who came back earlier than he thought he would." His headache hadn't really subsided but Justin was trying to make a good show of looking forward to doing whatever Ethan had in mind.

"You spent all this time out there with him?" Ethan hadn't turned around and the fog on the mirror made is so that Justin couldn't see his face.

"What are you talking about?" Justin leaned against the doorframe.

"Brian. I'm talking about Brian." Ethan reached for a towel and pulled it around himself before turning to face Justin. "I saw you."

"We were just talking. He gave me a ride back when he came and got Gus." Justin folded his arms across his body. He was feeling defensive all of a sudden and part of him didn't like it.

The two stood in silence for a few moments and Ethan was the first to speak up again. "Why didn't he drop you off here? Why make it so that he drops you off down the street and around the block?"

"It's nothing as shady as you're making it sound." Justin shook his head. "I didn't want...I didn't want for you to see and think..."

"Think what? Think exactly what I'm thinking right now?" Ethan tightened the towel around his waist before scrubbing his fingers through his hair.

"I don't know what you're thinking right now but I know that it was nothing. I'm getting a headache and he offered the ride...more like he made me take a ride from him..." Justin's voice trailed off as he thought about the fact that Brian had practically ordered him into the car and he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"And it's not like you have a mind of your own when it comes to Brian, right?"

"Fuck you. Why are you talking to me like this?" Justin spoke sternly but softly as he wound his arms tighter around his body. His head was pounding again and he truly did not want to be fighting with Ethan at all, much less now.

"You should go." Ethan spoke resolutely and dropped his eyes to look at the fraying on the legs of Justin's jeans. "We both knew this would happen sooner or later, so let it be sooner and we'll get it over with."

"What are you talking about?" Justin took a step forward and was enveloped by the heat and moisture in the room. It felt oppressive and uncomfortable and he didn't like the fact that this conversation with Ethan had taken on a similar tone.

"I want you to leave before you do the same thing to me." Ethan still hadn't looked up at Justin and he spoke very softly.

"What are you talking about?" Justin had moved the full distance into the bathroom now and he reached forward to let both arms close around Ethan's waist. He spoke his words to the man's face while trying to gauge what was going on.

"You're going to leave Justin. You're going to go back to him and I don't want to let that sneak up on me. I see it clearly now, so you might as well do it now." Ethan fought the reflex that wanted him to reach up and touch the body that was holding him close.

"That's not gonna happen." Justin managed to get Ethan to look at him and he struggled to keep the man's attention.

"Bullshit." Ethan pushed back and out of Justin's hold and stepped out of the room.

"I had a headache so he gave me a ride home. That's all. We didn't fuck, we didn't touch, we didn't do anything like that. I'm not keeping anything from you." Justin lied and it sickened him. He didn't think this was the time to share the fact that he'd confessed his unhappiness to Brian or let the man kiss him.

"I thought I could do this. I thought if enough time passed you'd get him out of your system and the same thing would happen with him. I thought you'd be tired of his game and all of it but I was obviously wrong. You couldn't get out of here fast enough this morning and now I realize that was only because you knew for a fact that Brian would come get his son eventually and you would get to see him."

"That's not true. I went over there to help." Justin was getting more and more angry and the tightness in his temples was building more and more. He tried to keep both of these out of his voice as he reasoned with Ethan. "Look, I know how things must have looked but I'm telling you it wasn't like that at all..."

"You're not happy here Justin so I think you should go. You've got a million and one people that you could stay with so you don't have to feel obligated to stay here." Ethan had been pulling clothes on as he spoke to Justin and he finished his words by pulling a t-shirt over his head.

Justin stood silently and waited for the other man to calm down a bit. He'd gotten used to Ethan's passion in so many other areas and his overly dramatic anger was just another of the passions that Justin thought he'd observed. He crossed the room slowly and pulled Ethan close to him.

"Things are changing around me and I have to get used to it. But I want this...I want you...and you don't have to worry about Brian. He doesn't want me and I don't..."

"He doesn't want you? Is that why you're still here?" Ethan pushed away from Justin and pulled on his sneakers. "You know Justin. I went and paid a visit to the diner after you left. That's how come I saw you two parked on Edwards Street. You think he doesn't want you and that's why you're just biding your time here. But the fact is that he does want you and one day when you both figure that out, where will that leave me?" Ethan pulled on an over shirt and crossed the room to retrieve his violin case and violin. "I have other things to think about and I don't want to stick around to watch how it all plays out."

"Stop. Stop for a minute and listen to me. I don't want Brian. That's why I'm here. I'm trying to sort myself out but I know what I need in my life and Brian can't give it to me. I don't want him...". Justin tried to move closer to Ethan again and the other man backed off.

"Is that why you call his name in your sleep? Is that why you keep waking up in time to make your curfew and then getting out of bed and just sitting there?" Ethan eyed the sofa before turning to face Justin again. "You're not happy with me, so what the fuck am I supposed to think?"

"Ethan." Justin watched the anger with which Ethan had packed his violin and he watched the man grab his bag from the bed. "Ethan, where are you going?" Justin followed Ethan to the door and held it open when Ethan tried to slam it behind him.

"Find somewhere else to stay." Ethan turned to bite his words out quickly before turning and fleeing down the stairs.

"No." Justin called after him. "I'm going to be right here when you come back and I'm not going anywhere." He pushed away the pain in his head as he yelled his words after the other man. "Do you hear me?" Justin listened as Ethan slammed the door behind him several floors below.

He and Brian had made their choices and as difficult as they were, neither of them could give up on his choice after only one month of living with it.

Three hours after leaving the diner, Brian had succeeded in destroying the cleanliness and order in his loft and he liked it. Gus's two little bags and the stocked toy chest Brian kept in his closet had exploded to cover the loft in a mess Justin himself would have been proud of. Brian surveyed the carnage after setting Gus down to sleep in the center of his bed. He'd been deciding where to settle down for a nap of his own when the buzzer sounded. Brian turned to make sure Gus was still asleep before sprinting to the door to quiet the noise.

"Who is it?" Brian huffed into the intercom. He'd barely had time to finish his words when the nervous person on the other end of the line spoke up.

"It's Ethan Gold. Can I come up?"

"What? Does every fag in Pittsburgh know where I live?" Brian shot out a reply and waited. Ethan didn't respond but Brian could still hear the sound of the street downstairs as it echoed through the speaker. "You know the building, so I'm guessing you know the number too."

"Yeah. I need to talk to you." Ethan spoke quickly.

"Come'on up." Brian released the intercom button and thought through what was happening. He'd turned to pull the door open on its tracks before settling in a chair that sat directly in front of the door. A minute or two later, Ethan rounded the last flight of stairs and Brian watched as his head came into view. The younger man found Brian through the open door and walked towards him slowly.

Brian sat back silently and watched him come inside and drop his violin case and bag on the floor beside where he stood. Ethan hadn't bothered to close the door and Brian found a familiar reference in his nervousness and posture.

"What do you want?" Brian finally spoke up.

"Do you want him back?" Ethan's whispered words answered his challenge.

Brian thought about answering this question with a question and then thought better of it. He smiled a little and rolled his lips into his mouth as he thought of how best to injure this man who'd had the balls to come to this place to stake his claim. He sat up slowly from the chair and walked toward Ethan. He watched the younger man flinch as he reached over his shoulder to close the door and Brian settled back to stand within a foot of him as they continued their stand off.

At six foot two, Brian towered over this man who had to be even shorter than Justin. Having never stood this close to him for this long, Brian took the opportunity to make some assessments that he hadn't before. He took in the man's features and settled his attention on the overtly expressive brown eyes. Justin was a sucker for displayed emotion and Brian thought this kid had that in spades. He turned his attention to Ethan's nose and lips and fought himself not to imagine the things those lips had done to Justin's body. Brian swore he could smell Justin on this man and for one second and just one second alone, he'd actually entertained the thought of kissing him to see whether he'd taste the same mix that he tasted on Justin all those nights ago.

"Do you want a beer?" Brian pushed his breath against Ethan's face and the other man shook his head. Brian paused a little and watched him some more. He'd taken in the way the kid's pupils kept dilating till his brown eyes looked almost black. Ethan's skin had started to blush, and Brian could honestly not decide whether he saw lust or just anger in the other man's eyes.

"Is this the part where we arm wrestle to see who gets him?" Brian huffed a little laugh before moving off to the kitchen to retrieve a beer for himself.

"No, because I don't think I want him." Ethan stated flatly and watched for Brian's reaction. He'd been very sure that if Brian Kinney paid any interest whatsoever, that he would lose Justin and he'd been hoping to find the man as disinterested as he claimed to be.

"What, you got tired of fucking him already?" Brian twisted the cap off his beer and smiled bitterly.

Ethan looked away and scrubbed his hands through his hair, messing it up even more. "You fucking have everything." Ethan's words came out with a shout and it took Brian by surprise. "Everything anybody would ever want. Justin told me you were good at what you did and so you have success at your craft. You have money. I haven't met a lot of your friends but I've met enough of them to know that you have people who are loyal to you. You have a great place to live, surrounded by nice things." Ethan let his eyes sweep over the lines of the space. "You could have almost any man you wanted...and you don't deserve shit." The last of his words came out in a whisper and it was in stark contrast to the power with which he'd started his words. Ethan's energy seemed to be sapped completely by making that one statement.

Brian swallowed another swig of beer and the cool nonchalance of his face did not betray any of the rage he felt for this man/boy who stood in front of him. This person who thought he had it all figured out. "Justin tells you a few things during pillow talk and you think you know me? Enough so that you can come here and...what? What the fuck is the point of this drama?" Brian set the bottle down on the counter and moved around it to stand in front of Ethan once again. He'd consciously been using his relative size for intimidation and he watched Ethan straighten up slightly, determined to take him on.

"Justin deserves better than you. Unfortunately he hasn't figured that out yet. He thinks he has, but it's not true for him yet. Until he gets rid of you, he's just playing games with his own head." Ethan kept his eyes firmly fixed on Brian's face and he didn't flinch when Brian took a step toward him.

"This is all fun and good but I think you have something backward. Justin doesn't live here. He lives at your place. You spout enough bullshit sentiment to qualify you to write Hallmark cards and he fucking laps it up like honey. So I don't get why you're here now." Brian turned and walked toward the sofa. He sat down before looking at Ethan again. "You know if you two had a fight, I can give you some sex tips that I know he'll like." Brian gave him his most fraudulent smile and watched as the other man's skin turned a deeper shade of red.

"You're a fucking asshole. I know enough about you to know that. I don't want Justin this way but you shouldn't have him either. If you ever felt anything for him, you'll leave him alone."

There was a long pause during which Brian considered tossing this man out. He'd been thinking about this when one thought crossed his mind more clearly than the others. Not only was there obvious trouble in paradise on Justin's end, but it also seemed that this musical genius was starting to feel the pressures of not quite trusting their ‘monogamous' relationship.

"What I find completely hilarious about you is this. You don't trust him not to fuck me if I offered. You don't even believe your own bullshit but you still managed to convince him that things were all carpet picnics and violin music." Brian pulled his legs up to flatten the soles of his feet on the edge of the coffee table and watched Ethan closely. He'd watched the other man's discomfort increase by the second.

Ethan grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder before picking up his case. "I came here to find out one thing and that was whether or not you still wanted him. Now that I know the answer to that, like I said, you're a fucking asshole and since you do give a shit, you'll leave him alone."

"Get the fuck out of here and let me give you a tip that might add a few more days to your short lived little love affair. Don't tell Justin that you stopped by." Brian offered him calm simple words and a cold hard look.

He watched and waited as Ethan pulled the heavy door open and disappeared behind it with a harsh slam. Brian had stiffened a little at the rustling of the sheets in the other room and he'd only moved off the sofa to lock the door once he heard Gus settle down again. He'd sat stock still on the sofa and waited a full five minutes for the noise of that visit and the utterance of Justin's name to stop reverberating off the walls of the loft and ringing in his ears.

~To be continued~