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This page was last 

updated on 12/05/02.

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Proudly developed in Singapore

Jeremy aka Lanman
Copyright © 2001 [LanEt]. All rights reserved.
Revised: December 05, 2002 .

Jokes for the taking !!!!

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He
spends
$5,000 and
feels really good about the results. On his way home
he stops at a
newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to
the sales clerk,
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you
think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man
says, feeling really
happy. After that, he goes into McDonald's for lunch,
and asks the order
taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you
look about 29". "I
am actually 47," re answered. While standing at the bus
stop he asks an old
woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is
going.
But when I was
young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If
I put my hand down
your pants and play with your balls for ten minutes,
I will be able to tell
your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thought what the
hell and let her
slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old
lady says, "OK, it's
done. You're 47 years old."
Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you
do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you in line at
McDonalds."

This dude goes to see the doctor and asks: "Doc! Could
you take a look
at my dick? I think there's something wrong with
it."
So the doctor takes a look, and it seems normal, so he
asks: "Everything
seems okay. What made you think there was something
wrong
with your penis?"
"Well," the dude answers, "every girl who sees my dick
says the same
thing!"
"And what is that?" the doctor asks.
"RAPE!"


Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School.
Usually she
slept through the class. One day the teacher called on
her while she was
napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the
universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy
seated in the
chair behind her, took his sharp pencil and jabbed her
in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said,
"Very
good."
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord
and Savior?"
Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again,
Johnny
came to the
rescue and stuck her in the ass. "Jesus Christ!" shouted
Mary and the
teacher said, "Very good."
Then, a little while later, the teacher asked Mary a
third question.
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third
child?"
Once again, Johnny jabbed her with his pencil.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that
damn thing in
me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

will ???

>An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a
>number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was
>able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that
>allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
>
>The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and
>the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must
>be really pleased that you can hear again."
>
>The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I
>just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed
>my will three times!"

This webpage is developed by Jeremy Fu                  

comments or queries please contact me :)