Sometimes when I leave the house
I must admit I worry
I try to do what I must do
And get back in a hurry.
The thought of what a cat might do
When left at home alone
Makes me fear what I might find
When I come back home
Wasn't there a goldfish
In the goldfish bowl?
Wasn't Mother's knitting basket
Full of balls of wool?
Weren't these broken ornaments
Once high upon that shelf?
Forgive me for I guess
I'm feeling sorry for myself.
Chorus:
Life with a naughty kitty
Isn't very pretty.
So I sing this mournful song
About when cats go wrong.
The couch is ripped and torn apart,
The stuffing is pulled out.
The litter box is empty
With the gravel strewn about.
Everything's in disarray -
It makes me grump and mutter.
There's cat hair on the tablecloth
And tongue marks on the butter.
Chorus
Budgie's looking traumatized
There's feathers on the floor -
Lucky thing a pussy cat
Can't fit through the cage door.
There's claw marks on the lampshades
And paw prints on the mirror.
The missing shoelace mystery
Is now becoming clearer.
It's just another cat toy
To amuse my little pet
Like the nice lace curtains
That are so much fun to shred,
Like the ball of twine
That's been unravelled from its spool,
Like the worn-out cat-nip mouse
Covered in cat drool.
Chorus twice
