With a rush of newfound energy and excitement, Justin slid back the door to the loft and moved aside so that Brian could walk in. Giving him an amused look, Brian walked passed him holding his 7-month-old son in his arms.

"Please?" Justin asked.

Brian turned and raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"Grab that stuff will ya?"

Immediately Justin bent down and took hold of the baby’s carrier and bag before he walked fully inside. After placing the items on Brian’s counter he rushed to his partner’s side.

"Please?" he asked again.

"Shut the door."

Justin rolled his eyes but did as he was instructed. Instead of asking him again, Justin pleaded with his eyes. Brian smiled warmly at him and carefully handed his son over to the younger man who gently held him against his chest with a smile.

"I’m gonna remind you of this when it’s time to change him."

"I don’t mind," Justin said slowly rubbing the baby’s back.

"Yeah, we’ll see."

Justin kissed the top of Gus’ head and smiled again.

"How long did you say we have him for?"

" ‘Till the munchers come back for him," he answered. "Two days."

"Yay," Justin said softly to Gus in an excited tone.

If it weren’t for the resemblance between the two of them, one could have easily thought that Justin was the boy’s father. That wasn’t so say that Brian was a poor parent, which he at times claimed to be, only that Justin was so natural with him.

"You’d make an excellent mother," Brian said coming over to remove the beanie hat on Gus’ tiny head.

"Hmm," Justin responded. "Just as soon as you make me one."

Ignoring that comment, Brian dipped his head and kissed him softly on the mouth. Justin smiled into their embrace and leaned into him, stopping and pulling back when Gus began to fuss. Brian looked at him and gently fingered the slight wisps of hair on his soft head.

"When was the last time he ate?" Justin asked.

"Lindsay took care of it like an hour ago," Brian answered. "So he should be all right for a while."

Justin nodded and moved to sit on the couch in front of the television.

"Did they pack any tapes for him?" he questioned turning to Brian so that he could look him in the eyes.

"I don’t care if they did," Brian snorted. "I am not going to listen to the Teletubbies all fuckin’ weekend."

"Brian!" Justin yelled covering Gus’ ears with his hands. "I’m sure Melanie and Lindsay wouldn’t appreciate Gus picking up any of those words. So watch your fuckin’ mouth."

Later in the early evening, Brian saved his document on the computer and looked to the couch, immediately spying Justin’s blond hair leaning against the cushions. Getting up and stretching his arms as he walked, Brian padded over to the two young men. Justin was gazing somewhat mindlessly at a documentary on Charles Chaplin and Gus was leaning against his chest asleep. Brian walked in front of them and shut off the television while Justin silently observed. Brian then kneeled before him and slowly rubbed his knees.

"Why don’t you put him down?"

Justin held his gaze for a moment before he moved to the crib that Melanie had brought over earlier. No sooner then he had gently lowered the dozing infant into the tiny, soft mattress then he felt the arms slid around his waist. As Brian nuzzled into his neck, Justin ran his arms around his lover’s and entwined their fingers briefly before he disentangled their bodies slightly so that he could turn in Brian’s embrace. They kissed warmly and walked up the steps to their bedroom. Justin grinned into Brian’s mouth and pushed him flat on his back upon the duvet. Climbing on top of him, Justin slowly ran his tongue from the base of Brian’s throat back up to his mouth where they resumed their kissing. The older man’s hands travailed up his partner’s legs that we covered in tight blue denim but when his fingers located the silver buttons he was stopped by the sharp cry of his son.

Brian muttered a soft curse and Justin dramatically sighed before collapsing on him in mock frustration. When he looked back down at him, Brian smiled gently and kissed him once more before Justin hopped off of him and headed towards the cries. Brian remained on his back staring at the ceiling until Justin’s soft voice asked for his assistance. Moaning slightly, Brian rose and walked to the kitchen where Justin was holding and trying to calm the trembling child.

"Can you get his bottle ready?"

As Justin slowly bounced Gus in his arms, Brian warmed the frozen milk pouch in the warm water heater on the counter. Gus had stuck his two middle fingers in his mouth and had ceased his wailing though he still slightly whimpered. Justin continued to whisper soothing words and sounds into the tiny ear as Brian removed the pouch and placed it in the bottle. After testing the temperature on his wrist he held out his arms to receive his son and smiling, Justin handed Gus over to his daddy. As Brian sauntered over to a nearby chair and took a seat, Justin immediately began walking rapidly into the bedroom.

"Don’t even think about it," Brian said in a stern voice without taking his eyes off his son.

Justin slumped in disappointment and turned to him.

"Come on," he asked. "Please?"

"No," Brian insisted as he cradled Gus comfortably in the crook of his arm and guided the warm bottle to his little mouth.

Justin stood with his hands at his hips staring at Brian with an annoyed expression. Sensing that he was being studied, Brain looked up to him and shook his head "no".

"I’ll make your life miserable," Justin threatened. "I’ll withhold sex."

Brian laughed rather loudly and looked back down to Gus who was slowly draining the bottle.

"I’m not kidding," Justin said in a deadpan voice.

When Brian looked back into Justin’s eyes, something told him that the young man was being true to his word. Despite Justin’s inability to last long without sex either, Brian knew he could last a hell of a lot longer than he could given an incentive.

"You little bitch," he muttered. "Go on!"

Justin gleefully skipped up the stairs with the flick of Brian’s wrist and soon returned with his sketchpad and several well-sharpened pencils. Pulling up a chair directly before him, Justin sat and crossed his legs, propping the paper up on his elevated knee.

"Why don’t you take a picture and just study it?" Brain questioned. "Hell, I’ve got one upstairs."

"For aesthetic reasons that only an artist would understand," Justin said sympathetically. "Sorry."

For about 15 minutes, the two of them did not speak. The only noise in the room was the light scratch of paper and the soft sucking of Gus’ mouth as he fed. When the child had taken his fill he pulled his mouth away and looked up at his daddy with wide eyes. Justin was so focused on a certain area of his drawing that he failed to notice when Brian stood. It was the sound of him gently patting his son’s back that got a reaction.

"He’s done all ready?" Justin asked incredulously.

"Mmm-hmm," Brian responded.

Justin sighed but closed his book. He’d managed to get a rough outline done and was so far content with the way it was turning out.

"Can I fed him?" Justin asked.

The acute sound of Gus burping made the two men chuckle.

"I’m not sure if he’s gonna eat much right now," Brian said. "Besides, don’t you have homework to do?"

"It can wait," Justin said.

"No," Brian responded shaking his head. "I will not have you fall victim the powers of procrastination. Go."

"I’m hungry," Justin whined.

"You’re always hungry," Brain stated. "Go."

Pouting, Justin went to retrieve his backpack that he had left by the door. As the blond moved to the counter, Brian carefully lowered himself to the floor where he had spread out one of Gus’ blankets. Lying the child on his back, Brian reached into his bag and pulled out a long white tube that shimmered with light when a button was pushed. Gus’ eyes were intensely focused on the illumination and as Brian lowered it close to him and quickly flashed it on and off he was rewarded with a full-faced smile. After about a half an hour, Justin was pleasantly distracted from his assignment by the very loud giggle of Gus. When he looked over he saw Brian had removed one of the baby’s socks and was lightly tickling his soles. At that point, Justin’s stomach loudly rumbled and he decided that he was finished with homework for the moment. Heading into the kitchen, he opened the refrigerator and after discovering nothing that peaked his interest he closed it with a sigh. As he looked to Brian he was tempted not to bother him. He was so content on the floor toying with his son’s feet that it seemed a crime. However, his empty belly won out.

"Brian?"

"Yeah?" he answered softly.

"Can I order something?"

"Yeah," he repeated. "But get Chinese will ya?"

"Okay."

Justin went to the phone and punched in the number that Brian kept on the side of the refrigerator. After placing the order he moved his school work to the floor and walked over to Brian.

"What’d you get?"

"The usual," Justin answered settling beside him on the floor.

As Brian lay down to rest his head next to Gus’, Justin did the same and rested his cheek on Brian’s stomach.

"You think this will ever be us?" Justin asked softly.

"This is us."

"You know what I mean," Justin answered swatting at him with the back of his hand.

Instead of giving him a clear answer Brian just sighed and shrugged his shoulders. Justin decided not to push it any farther. It was most certainly not a topic that Brian was keen on discussing. However, Justin was satisfied with the response he’d received. It was not, after all, an emphatic "no". Slowly, the young man ran his hand up and down his lover’s leg and smiled when he felt the fingers in his hair. They remained in the same manner until the silence was broken with the buzz of the bell. Brian carefully coaxed his lover off his body and slowly rose, walking over to the door to admit the delivery man. Justin rolled to his side and watched Brian carry the bags inside and place them on the counter.

"Come and get it," Brian said as he pulled put the small white containers.

Justin quickly moved to get his food and the two men proceeded to sit on the floor with their cartons and chopsticks with Gus lying wide-eyed between them. Together they ate their dinner and talked about Justin’s schoolwork, Brian’s recent accounts and various celebrities. When they had finished, Justin cleared away the mess as Brian placed his son in the highchair and fed him the liquefied baby food.

"What time do you think he’ll be asleep," Justin asked as he moved behind Brian and rested his chin on his shoulder.

"Pretty soon," he answered. "He’s been yawning every 7 seconds for the past half hour."

When Gus had finished eating Justin grabbed a warm, moist towel from the kitchen and cleaned his mouth and face and then pulling him from the chair changed him and dressed him in his snug, footed pajamas. After giving him a little kiss on the cheek, Justin handed him back to Brian who did the same and lowered him down into the crib. It was at that moment that it became clear to Gus that he was going to be left alone and he began to cry. With some effort, the two men slowly backed away from the crib, which was set up a little ways from the base of the stairs, and switched off the main lights. Brain quickly turned on the lights that hung over the bed that soon bathed the room in a soothing blue. After a few minutes, the crying dyed down and eventually ceased all together. With a satisfied look, Justin turned to Brian who was standing at his side. Slipping his arms around his neck, Justin stood on his tiptoes and softly kissed his mouth.

"Where did we leave off?" he whispered seductively.

Brian smiled and then fell back onto the bed, pulling Justin on top of him. Before they were even aware of it the two had removed their shirts and were reveling in the feeling of their bare skin rubbing together. As the younger man moved above him, Brian clasped his upper arms to keep him close and moaned softly into his mouth. Running his hands to the waistband of Justin’s jeans Brian suddenly paused, as did his partner. Upon hearing no wails of protest from Gus, Brain smiled and after undoing the buttons pealed the denim down and off Justin’s slim legs. As Justin reciprocated the action Brian kept his eyes on his face and he caressed his cheek with his fingertips. Justin looked up and clasped his wayward hand, pulling it to his chest as he kissed his mouth.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked suddenly.

Caught off guard, Brian’s eyes darted to the right before he resumed their eye contact.

"Um . . . my never-ending passion for you?" he answered in a questioning voice.

Grinning, Justin ran the heel of his foot around Brian’s calf.

"Seriously," he insisted. "Just tell me, I don’t care. Right when I asked you, what were you thinking about?"

Deciding that Justin would be able to tell if he lied, Brian told him the truth.

"Nothing," he answered. "Absolutely nothing."

And that was the truth. When they were together like this, Brian’s mind was utterly clear and calm. His thoughts became virtually nonexistent and entered a state of relaxation while his senses remained on fire. No one had ever been able to do that do him. Rolling the both of them over so that he could better remove his own jeans, Brian then leaned in and kissed him again as he felt Justin pull his naked body closer to his own. Keeping his eyes locked on Brian’s, which were overtaken with desire and passion, Justin reached into the familiar box to his left and after tearing open the wrapper slid the sheath onto his lover. Then, reaching back for the small tube, Justin squeezed a fair amount of the thick liquid into his hand and wrapped his fingers around Brian’s eager erection, eliciting a throaty moan from the man above him. Finishing his work, they kissed tenderly on the lips again as Brian dipped his body in close and guided Justin’s legs over his shoulders. Keeping their eyes locked, he slowly pushed himself inside with a single smooth movement. The two gasped at the sensation and Justin tightened his grip on Brian’s lower arms.

"Now what are you thinking about?" Brian whispered against his lips.

Justin managed a slight laugh and pulled himself up, seeking Brian’s mouth on his. Pulling out, Brian paused for the briefest of moments before he returned to him and began a steady rhythm. As they continued and the thrusts came faster and with more vigor, Justin was unable to stifle his moans that had become quiet loud. Pausing, Brian leaned down to whispered in his ear.

"Don’t wake the kid," he said as he nibbled on his lobe.

"And what if I do?"

Brian returned to his mouth and after kissing him looked down into his face.

"Then I’ll withhold sex."

Justin gazed up at him with eyes that knew the sex-crazed man all to well causing Brian to look away smiling.

"Fine," he said. "I’ll do the cooking for us . . . every night."

"You wouldn’t," Justin stated.

Brain raised and eyebrow at him and Justin sighed.

"All right."

Amorously, their lips met again and when Brian pulled back Justin slowly slid his legs down and hooked his ankles at the middle of his back. Kissing him again Brian recommenced their lovemaking and felt himself soothed by Justin’s hands as they roamed over his body, which had become moist with perspiration. Despite his best efforts, Justin knew that he wasn’t going to hold out much longer. He was never able to go as long as he might have liked with Brian, the intensity was just too much. Thankfully however, it appeared that the young man had the same effect on Brian and, holding fast to him, Justin pulled their lips together and moaned into him as he came. At almost at the same instant, he felt the body above him shudder and become still. Breathing heavily Justin reached for the towel by the bed and cleaned himself and his lover off as Brian pulled away and fell back into the sheets with a heavy sigh. Silently, the two felt their bodies relax under the cool air from the overhead vent and after a moment Justin reached out to cup the side of Brian’s face, turning him towards him. Closing his eyes, Brain moved his cheek into the palm of his hand before he pulled back and kissed it and turned to his side so that they were facing each other.

" ‘Night," Justin whispered.

" ‘ Night," Brain responded softly.

Pulling Justin closer, Brian slid an arm around him and adjusted himself until his lips were level with the younger man’s smooth forehead. With his eyes closed, Brian reached below him for the black cord and upon finding the switch, encasing the loft in darkness.

part II
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